I personally think there's a little bit of The Ice Cream Girl in all of us...except maybe I'd be The Frozen Yogurt Girl, since I'm lactose intolerant..."

Disclaimer: If I owned Death Note, Naruto, Mircea, CSI and Reepicheep, I wouldn't have to post this stuff on to get it noticed.

The Wedding That Never Was (Part 2)

Slowly, I opened my eyes. Looking around, I realized I was in a large cave, facing the opening. I saw sunlight outside and decided it was the day after Eve's wedding (or lack thereof). My head was throbbing, and I reached up to rub it.

Oh yeah, I couldn't. Great.

I was reclining comfortably on a La-Z-Boy, however, I was also uncomfortably tied to it. I clenched my fists, suddenly wishing I'd worn pants.

I looked around again to give myself something to do. There were several tunnels leading to different rooms, and one of those plastic kid's tables sat off to my right. There was a few kid-sized chairs and one adult-sized office chair. Toys and dolls were strewn all over the floor and shelves. It was pretty creepy.

Even more creepy was the ten year old girl sitting across from me. Her thin blond hair was tied in pigtails and she was sucking on a lollipop with a malicious smile on her face.

"Hello Sera Nakamura." She giggled. "Welcome to my fort."

I burst out laughing.

The girl's expression turned sour. "Stop laughing!" She demanded in a shrill voice. "This isn't funny at all. If you hadn't noticed, you're in a lot of trouble, Sera."

"Am I?" I challenged, still trying to stop laughing. "And who are you to say something like that?"

"You will know me only as..." She paused for dramatic effect. "The Ice Cream Girl!!" Climatic music sounded from nowhere in particular. I figured I was better off giving up the issue.

"So why am I tied to a recliner?"

The Ice Cream Girl shook her head in disappointment. "You don't remember me, do you." I shook my head in confusion. The kid sighed. "No, of course you don't. Fine, I'll tell you the story."

I rolled my eyes, sensing I'd be here a while.

"It was a surprisingly hot day in March. Sound familiar? A seemingly shy, lonely girl sobbed softly when her Cotton Candy flavored ice cream exploded onto the searing hot asphalt below."

It did sound vaguely familiar, I thought.

"On a completely different topic, a young couple was rushing through the crowds gathered to enjoy the blooming of Japan's cherry blossom trees."

"The couple was me and Matsuda, and we were pushing past groups of people, in a hurry to get to the site of the five billionth wedding since the Sakura Festival had begun!" I recited as dawn struck.

"Yes." The ice cream girl nodded. "And whilst you were running around with your boyfriend, your right arm smashed into the little appendage of young girl, knocking over her freshly bought ice cream."

I bore a dumbfounded expression. "I guess the topic wasn't so completely different after all, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"But the young girl was neither shy nor lonely," Continued the ice cream girl, ignoring me. "And in a fit of rage she called up her guardian and ordered that the perpetrator of such a vile act be punished."

Then it clicked. "Are you trying to tell me that you kidnapped me because I knocked over your ice cream?"

My captor nodded nonchalantly. "Yup! Mr. Mircea, my guardian, organized the whole thing! I'm going to get my Ultimate Revenge!" She proceeded to chuckle evilly.

My blood froze. "Did you just say Mircea?"

Mircea, like John Pritkin, was a prominent character in the Cassie Palmer Series. His main role was letting Cassie know that about everything counted on her losing her virginity, and then doing some very graphic things to her. Twice. I didn't like him much.

"Yes, but not to worry. Mircea says I can do whatever I want to you." The ice cream girl grinned.

"Hm, yes. I see."

"So if you want to do any pleading or begging, please do so now."

"Sure. Do you think I could have a crepe er something? I'm having simply ravenous cravings for one..."

"No. Now about your torture. I think first I'll dunk you in a vat of melted ice cream, and then-"

"With strawberries, if you don't mind."

Soon after, she gave in and I was served a crepe. I gasped in shock, not at the crepe, but at the shinigami serving it.

"Ryuk!" I exclaimed. He had made an appearance at L's farewell party, but I'd never seen him again. He was wearing an apron that said 'Kiss the cook.'

"Yo!" He greeted me in his creepy voice. "What are you doing here?" I inquired.

"Well, once Light got caught and everything, I met Mircea and ended up in line with Rem and this chick." He explained, handing me my plate. "I tell you, it's never boring with Angie around!"

"I told you not to call me by my real name!" Angie seethed.

"Rem?" I blinked.

"Oh right!" Ryuk turned his large head and started talking to thin air. "Rem, honey, would you let her touch your Death Note please?"

A moment later, a white shinigami with thick tendrils of purple hair appeared beside me. "Rem." It announced in a deep female voice, holding out a long bony hand for me to shake. Hesitantly, I did, and noticed a large gold ring on one of her fingers.

"You two are..."

"We're married!" Quipped Ryuk. I nodded dumbly. "When Misa died, I decided I was to good for her anyway and got together with Ryuk." Added Rem.

Ryuk pulled an apple out of nowhere and took out about half the apple in one bite. "You want the rest, sweetie?" Rem outstretched a long, sharp-angled arm, grabbed the fruit, and took a bite herself.

In less than two seconds, a ghastly rash had broken out all over Rem's spongy body. "Oh...she's allergic..."

"Mouse!" Angie shrieked. "Get over here!"

A two-foot tall mouse scurried out of one of the tunnels, a large satchel around his neck and a tiny little rapier at his side. "At your service, milady." It declared.

"Reepicheep?" I blubbered. "From The Chronicles of Narnia?" Reepicheep made a curt little bow. "Yes. I was pulled from my homeland for use as one of Mircea's slaves" He reminisced, searching through his satchel for a cream for Rem's rash.

" This is too much!" I breathed.

I was strapped to that recliner for about a week. I was treated well enough by Angie's servants, being fed by Ryuk and Rem and even being allowed to watch TV. I got madly addicted to this show I knew only as 'Korean Drama'.

Whenever Angie was around, she would whisper bitter nothings in my ear about all the ways she'd torture me; like drowning my bear-bag Baroqueheat in a tub of melted ice cream. They all seemed to involve ice cream. Not very creative, Angie was.

"Soon that will be you Sera." She would always say...

Meanwhile, on the other side of the hill the cave was dug into, back at the park, a team of elite CSI's were collecting evidence from every square inch of the wedding site. Thirty percent of the said evidence were pieces of Vincent's body.

"Mauled by ferrets." Gil Grissom affirmed. "Not a very pleasant way to die." Catherine Willows nodded in agreement and acknowledged the remains with disgust.

Sasuke and Itachi had restarted their intense Yu-gi-oh duel in a cleared section of the park. Itachi was still winning.

Matsuda paced agitatedly back and forth, then ran over to Grissom and the CSI team. "Why are we still here?"

"We're collecting evidence." Grissom answered plainly.

Matsuda grabbed Gil's shoulders and shook them ferociously. "Would you just listen to me?! I've told you a billion times that the ferrets took her over that hill. Go over THERE!!"

Grissom, Catherine, Sara, Warrick, Nick, Greg, Brass and Dr. Robins looked at him for a moment, and then went on with their work.

"AAAGGHH!!" Matsuda roared, racing over to the hill in question.

Eve was poking around the scraps of her wedding, searching for Draco Malfoy's body...

The eighth night, I sat in my recliner and stared blankly at the cave's ceiling, unable to sleep.

Suddenly, a slender male figure appeared at the mouth of the cave. I really hoped it was Matsuda come to take me back to our house, because my email inbox was probably backed up all the way to Hokkaido! The figure stepped into the dim light of the cavern, and by the long, black hair tied with a gold clip, the perfect features, and the vampire fangs, I knew I'd gotten Mircea instead.

"Mircea!" I choked. "Get ou-"

In a second flat, Mircea was by my side, holding a hand over my mouth. "Quiet Dulceata," He whispered. "We mustn't wake Angie."

Once he'd let go, I told him where he could shove that idea. "You're the one who let her kidnap me!"

"There was a method to my madness, trust me." He sang. "Oh yeah? And what's that?" I sneered.

Next thing I knew, Mircea was sitting on my lap, facing me.

"I don't have time to tell the entire story, but the basic gist of it involves your virginity."

"But I'm not a virgin..."

"You must trust me, Sera." He informed me, running his agile hands under my dress and slowly up my legs.

"Don't make me call 'Rape', you son of a—Hey!" Mircea's hands had reached the top of my thighs, and he leaned in closer to my face. Then...

CRASH!!

TO BE CONTINUED...

Will Sera end up being raped by some perverted vampire? What the hell is with those Uchiha's? Will Sara Sidle ever realize she's the least liked character on CSI?

Find out in The Wedding That Never Was Part 3the Final Part!!