Me: Hi peoples~! (Peace sign) Sorry if this starts out a little slow. ^^; I can't dish out all the epic-ness in the first chapters or else everything afterward would be less epic, y'know?

Prussia: ... Oh mein gott, there are chicks in here. And I don't mean Gilbird's family members for once.

Me: (Puts a hand on Prussia's shoulder) Yes, Bruder. Soon you and shall join and act pervy to your heart's content. But not yet.

Belarus: What about me? I want to be with Brother.

Me: Sister.

Belarus: Whatever.

Me: Soon.

Belarus: (Pulls out a knife)

Me: Eep! O_O U-Uh, someone do the disclaimer while I... (Runs like the wind)

Belarus: (Chases after Bri with a knife)

Ukraine: (Pops out of nowhere) (BOING) Bri doesn't own Hetalia. If she did-

Me: AAH! DX (Still running)

Belarus: LET ME BE WITH BROTHER!

Ukraine: Sister! Don't kill her! (Cries) Please! (Runs after Belarus) (BOING BOING BOING)

Warning: My dirty mind is sneaking into my writings for once.


"I can't do it."

"Sure you can, Romano."

"I can't f_ing do it."

"I can't do it either."

"Man up, Iggy."

Death-glare. "That is possibly the worst thing to say in this situation."

"It's a store how hard is it to walk in?"

The nations had just finished buying clothes for the girls. Nice shirts, pants, shoes (they finally understood why girls loved shoe-shopping), and tiny mini-skirts. The last thing to do was buy... the unmentionables.

Which was why they were now standing outside Victoria's Secret. The place where men are forbidden from entering.

"Why won't you suck it up and walk in?" America asked.

"Because I still have my manly pride!" England shouted.

"Says the one in pigtails." France said.

"Shut up!"

"And bought a crap-ton of skirts."

"I said shut up!"

"And is now wearing fake-glasses 'because they make me look cuter'."

"I SAID SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP! AND THEY'RE NOT FAKE, AFTER REALIZING IT WAS YOU, I WENT BLIND! YOU UGLY FROG!"

Japan sweatdropped. "There's no shame in it, England-san." Japan was taking this opportunity to finally be in a school girl uniform. A Japanese school girl uniform. Which meant a mini-skirt. He finally understood what it was like for Sailor Moon. And Kagome. And Tohru Honda. And every anime girl he's ever drawn in a mini-skirt. It felt awesome.

"Ve~ Everyone's staring at us."

The girls sucked up their pride and took their first step into the store. England and Romano instantly started blushing. France grinned at the perv's heaven before him. They found out Victoria's Secret all right. They saw the underwear in bins, that they would have to dig out. As former men with some decency, it felt very wrong.

Romano stepped back, took Spain's hand, and dragged the Spaniard into the forbidden zone.

"R-Romano? What are you doing?" Spain squeaked Romano dragged him in.

"IF I HAVE TO GO IN THERE, YOU'RE GOING IN WITH ME!"

England followed Romano's lead and grabbed America.

"NO! HEROES DON'T LOOK AT LADIES' UNDERWEAR!"

"What about bloody Wonder Woman?"

"That's different!"

Italy smiled and dragged Germany inside the pink lacy hell. "Ve~ You can help me pick something."

Suddenly the mental image of Italy holding up a lacy red thong saying 'How's this~?' sprung into the German's mind. Germany was red as Romano. 'Ok, I've got to stop reading all those magazines.'

Russia just picked up China.

"AAAIIIYYYAAAAH!"

Later...

Romano threw her bag of clothes to the floor and instantly ended up on the couch. "Never. Again."

England slumped into the armchair. "Agreed."

France was smiling as she carried half the mall in her bags. "What's wrong?"

"You kept us in until closing time, sprayed us with every French perfume within sight, and you molested that poor clerk at the ice cream shop."

"Just spreading l'amour~." France said with a grin as she started groping England.

"O-Ow! Get off! GROPE YOUR OWN DAMN BOOBS!" England managed to shove France away.

France stared down as if she just noticed them there. France stared blankly then reached up to do the natural thing men do in Gender-bender fanfics.

SQUISH. "Mon dieu." SQUISH SQUISH SQUISH. "Mon dieu. This feels... Aaaah~!"

England facepalmed. "I'm sorry I said that. I'm so sorry I said that."

"You should be sorry. We'll never be able to remove this mental image."

Japan came downstairs by now. In a Sailor Moon cosplay. And his inner otaku screamed 'HELL YEAH!'

"Why are you all staring at me?"

"Japan. The mini-skirt."

"What about it?"

"Too soon."

Even more later...

"Ok... who's sleeping where?"

The girls looked at each other, each one of them holding their bags of clothes. What a good question that was.

"Ve~ Can I sleep with Germany?"

Germany looked at Italy for about .2 seconds before looking away blushing. Romano facepalmed at her sorella's stupidity. France had a rape face on that could've had a sign saying 'Rated M Smut'.

"Um... no..."

"I know Angleterre et moi can sleep in the same room." France wrapped an arm around England. Now her rape face said 'Yuri'.

"Then I'll sleep with you guys." America said with an oblivious smile. "I have to save England in case she gets in trouble with France."

And yet as he said this, the rape face switched to 'Threesome.' Where did France learn how to make such expressive rape faces? Probably deviantart or something...

"Wait, I have a better way to do this." England ran off, and came back with a top hat full of paper scraps. "You pull out the name of your roommate here. Japan, you first."

Japan reached into the hat. The moment she read the name, she turned a nasty shade of green. Everyone saw the name as the paper fell to the floor. Russia.

Russia smiled. "It will be just like 1905 all over again, right comrade?"

"H-H-Hai..."

Romano shoved her hand into the hat. She was grateful she ended up with Italy.

Which left England with France. As usual. Fate must love putting mortal enemies together.

"This sucks."

Me: Okay, here's the new chappie. Sorry, but the updates will come slower (cuz I suck at any class with numbers so I'm 'technically' ban from writing 'til June). But worry not! I shall sacrifice my lunch and try my hardest to update!

Prussia: WILL I BE IN HERE OR NOT? DX

Me: YES YOU WILL, DAMMIT! YOU'VE BEEN REQUESTED TOO MANY TIMES TO IGNORE!

Japan in a mini-skirt: Review.