Chapter 2
Sara just stared for a minute. She stood and as she turned to leave the classroom she ran straight into a late arrival and fell - right on her bottom. Gil went to her, taking her hand he helped her up.
"You were going someplace?" he asked stating the obvious.
The young man she ran into picked up her books and apologized.
"I'm fine," Sara told him, "It wasn't your fault."
Sara never had trouble reading the expression in Gil's eyes and this time was no different. They needed to talk.
"Coffee after class?" he asked.
Sara nodded and walked out the door. Two hours later she was sitting in the campus coffee shop when Gil walked in. Gil picked up his order and went to where she was sitting. For the next fifteen minutes they just sat and stared at each other, neither knowing what to say. Three or four times they each started to say something but stopped.
"I need to tell you something but here is not the place to do it," Gil finally said, "I have a room here on campus."
"I need to tell you something too," Sara said.
Gil stood and pulled out her chair for her. They walked across campus in silence, both rehearsing what they would say.
In the room Gil offered her a drink.
"No thanks," she said, "Those can get you in trouble."
Gil pointed the small couch and sat. Almost at the same time they said, "I don't know where to start".
Sara let out a nervous giggle. "It's been a while since we talked," she was finally able to say.
"Yes," he answered, "It's kind of funny that we would both be here, you know, back on the same campus where it all started."
"A lot has happened since then," Sara said.
Gil stood and started to pace, never had he felt so much tension between the two of them.
"Sara," he said, sweat running down his face, "I have a confession to make. There is a reason why I have been…"
"Avoiding me?" Sara said.
"Yes. I have been," he said, turning away from her, "I've done something that….well that could…..could end our marriage."
Sara stood and walked over to him, all she had heard was "end our marriage".
"You want out?" she questioned.
"I think after you hear what I have to say YOU may want out," he told her as he sat back down.
Grissom looked at the floor and started to tell her what had happened.
"Look at me," she said, "I can't hear a thing you are trying to say."
Gil took her hand and gently pulled her next to him, they were eye to eye.
"I have done something that is unforgivable," he said.
"It can't be as bad as what I did," Sara told him.
Gil looked at her, the look he seen on her face was one that he had not seen in a long time, it was a look of panic.
Gil tenderly took her hand, "Me first."
He then proceeded to tell her all that had happened between him and Amber.
"But you didn't. So you didn't do anything wrong," Sara said.
"I wanted to," Gil said, "Or at least I thought I wanted to. I couldn't."
"At least you remember her name," Sara said.
Gil looked at her, "What?"
Sara told him all that happened, how she had been so upset with him because she couldn't reach him on the phone. She told him how she had gone to the bar and she told him of the young man that first bought her a drink then showed interest in her.
By this time her eyes were full of tears, "I don't even remember his name. All I can remember is that I woke up the next morning in bed with him."
"Did you?" Gil asked, not wanting to say the words 'have sex with him'.
"He said we didn't do anything because I passed out," Sara told him, "I guess I will just have to take him at his word."
"Then you did nothing wrong," Gil said, "Sara, this is all my fault."
Sara looked at him.
"You would have never done what you did if I would have just called you and confessed to you what I had done," he told her, "But I thought you could never forgive me for making such a foolish mistake."
"It's not your fault," Sara said, "It's mine. I know what can happen if I drink to much."
"I should have controlled myself," Gil said, "Being lonely is no excuse for almost breaking my marriage vows."
Sara tenderly stroked his face, "But you didn't. Having to much to drink is no excuse either."
"You didn't do anything," he told her.
"I was so sure that you would never want to….." Sara stopped, knowing Gil knew just what it was that she feared the most.
"I was sure of the same thing," he said, "I wondered how could you want to be with me after what I had done?"
They sat, not saying anything.
"I needed to tell you something important," Sara said, "That is why I had to talk to you."
"Tell me now," he told her.
"We can't keep living this way," she told him, "It was exciting to begin with. What little time we had together was like the first time all over again, so full of passion. But things have changed. I need more, I need…."
"A husband," Gil said, "Not a friend with benefits."
"Yes," Sara said, "I know you love what you are doing. I know it is fulfilling, that it has a purpose."
Gil let out a deep sigh, "That's strange because I was going to tell you the same thing. I need you by my side, sharing life with me. Watching the sun come up. Sara we didn't get married to live apart, we need to make some major decisions about where we want this to go."
