Chapter Two

Reason Two: He trashed me in front of his "friends"

BPOV

"What do you expect me to do when you smell like…" I sniffed him again, "is that sweat and dirt from practice?"

"Well, it's not every day that we get to meet like this. Now will you please kiss me?" He pouted.

I sighed and placed my arms around his neck and stood up on tiptoes to kiss him. He's right. We don't get to meet like this every day.

"Finally," he breathed, kissing me again. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too."

"I can't wait for college… when things will be tamer, and I could finally take you out on public."

I brightened. We never really spoke about going out on public. I sometimes think that he may be thinking this was more of a fling, and I'm still waiting for the day when he realizes that I'm not worthy enough for him. "Really?"

"Yes," he said firmly, "I'm tired of all these hiding and sneaking around. I want people to know that you're mine…" He playfully bit my left ear lobe. "And I'm yours."

I reached up to tousle his already untidy-bronze hair which is what I usually love to do when he says sweet things like that. "I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too."

I shakily sat down on the cold marble floor of my room and let out the breath I've been holding.

I never imagined myself to be one of those girls; those who can be candidates for "16 and pregnant" television shows. Who would be? I've always tried to stick to the straight and narrow path. I don't have any vices; I don't smoke, drink or do drugs. The only time I've lead myself astray was when I found that my emotions – and yes, hormones – had gotten the better of me one time when my parents were in a business trip. And that was just once with Edward.

Apparently, once is enough to lead to disastrous consequences.

I was pregnant, and I have no idea what to do about it.

For me, abortion is out of the question. I couldn't live with myself if I kill anything, semi-human or not. The thought of having my own child destroyed because I got scared does not settle well with me. And if I would have my own child murdered just because I couldn't handle being a mother at fifteen, then I'm not the person who I thought I was.

The truth is, I'm a person who would shy away from responsibilities. I'm a follower, not a leader. I'll opt for the ordinary turn of events. I would prefer if I go to college after high school and have a job before I handle the responsibility of procreating but… life didn't turn that way for me.

Every action has its own consequences, and this is what I was given.

Adoption, though good to the ears is also not what I would like. I can't handle the thought of giving my child away and be raised by someone else. I'll always be looking at children, wondering if they were the child I gave away… Wondering if they were looking for me… Wondering if they hated the mother who left them because she couldn't handle the thought of being a mother…

I guess it's not hard to see why I was still pregnant at five months and from the general looks of it, I'll be keeping it, no matter what happens. I love my baby, even though it gives me morning sickness or even if it gives me weird pregnancy cravings.

I stroked my stomach lovingly. In the five months I've been keeping it, I've learned to love it. I yearned to see my baby, to know if it was a boy or a girl, to hug it close to me at night, to hold its tiny little fingers and count its tiny little toes, to have it be with me.

I love my baby, and yet since I first learned about it, I haven't told anyone about my pregnancy barring my mother who helped me to and from the trips to the gynecologist's clinic. I haven't told anyone about my pregnancy and this includes the father of the baby – my boyfriend who I also haven't told anyone about – Edward.

How do you tell everyone you're pregnant when people don't even know you're dating the football quarterback?

I don't know. Call it a gut feeling, pregnancy hormones or whatever you want to call it, but I need to see Edward and tell him the truth. RIGHT NOW! I've done him a disservice by not telling him about it months ago. If he's starting to think about taking our relationship seriously, maybe we do have a chance to be a good family.

I don't even know why nobody had noticed the bump in my stomach yet. Maybe it was because I've been wearing loose shirts (Courtesy of Renee who helped me buy the loose clothes without getting noticed by anyone in this small town).

But how am I supposed to tell him? I can't just say, "Hey Edward, I just dropped by to say hi and tell you I'm pregnant. Five months pregnant, actually. You see, my monthly visitor has an irregular schedule compared to other girls, and I didn't think about it at first until I noticed this small bump growing in my stomach. Any idea what we're going to do?"

I don't want to abort my child and I don't want to give it up either, but I don't know if I could achieve my goals with a child. I'm the heir to my parents' company and I'm expected to be part of the company after graduating from college, but how am I supposed to balance it with a child?

Nowadays, I just feel so confused about everything and I think that if I tell Edward about it, then I wouldn't be as confused anymore because I'll have someone helping me through it. Oh god, I hope Edward does help me through it.

I stood up with two trembling legs and remembered that there's a party that Edward was supposed to go to tonight.

I threw my jeans and hoodie over my pajamas and got ready to walk because I still can't drive.

Whose party did he say he's going to again?

Oh right, it was Tanya Denali's, his ex-girlfriend's.

Edward is in a position where he just can't go and say he doesn't want to go to a party. He's a football player, he's one of the cool kids and they have certain rules. These are the kids whose parents were friends when they were in high school. He just can't commit a social faux pas and tell them to stick it to the place where the sun doesn't shine. He has to play nice with them.

I see it as a kind of training for his life in the future where he has to be polite to businessmen he doesn't like but because they're good for the business… well, you see the pattern.

I reached the party in full blast and almost wanted to vomit with the smell. It smells like alcohol and sweat. Ugh.

"Hey baby, wanna dance?" A senior asked me as he purposely reached for my butt.

I swatted his hand away before he reached his destination. I could smell alcohol in his breath. I shook my head and continued my search for Edward.

I saw three couples making out in different rooms, a passed out junior at the second floor bathroom but still no Edward.

"This is the last room. If Edward's not here, I'm leaving," I said to myself and opened the door a bit to peek in.

Inside was a group of guys, Edward and the hostess herself.

"So Edward, what's up with the rumors going around that you've been dating a freshman?" Mike demanded. I was seriously starting to hate this guy.

"Are you for real, man?" A guy in the room asked.

"That's not true. Where did you hear that?" Edward laughed.

I could tell he was faking his laughter, but the clueless people in the room apparently didn't realize.

"A freshman?" Another one of Edward's football buddies scoffed. "Please, you could do better than that."

"Yeah, you can have me instead." Tanya brushed her index finger lightly over his arm.

"I heard he's dating Bella," Mike spoke up.

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. Why do these guys know so much? Do they GOSSIP during their free time like random girls?

"Isabella Swan, the girl who doesn't talk much except to her little friend, Allison?"

"Alice," Edward corrected.

"Whatever," Tanya interrupted. "So, are you dating her?"

"That freshman? Of course not, don't be stupid. I barely even talk to her during lunch break and she's unbelievably… weird, haven't you noticed that? I can't believe you'd expect me to date HER of all people."

"Maybe she's the one spreading all those rumors, thinking that she could get attention for herself. That little attention-getter thinks she can steal my boyfriend but she can't. It's just another desperate attempt for her to get my Edward but it only shows how inferior she is," Tanya said triumphantly and kissed him, right on his mouth.

HER Edward? How dare she call Edward hers!

If she just knew who Edward really likes, she'll be prostrating herself at my feet and begging for my advice on… on everything!

I almost gagged when I saw Tanya kissed him and felt a little hurt and betrayed that he'd easily allow her to kiss her in front of his so-called "friends".

Edward may be part of a clique, but there should be a limit on what he does in front of them.

"Well, I'm relieved to know that you're not dating her because it seems that she heard your little monologue just now," Mike drawled out.

I let out the breath I'd been holding and stared at Mike's eyes accusingly.He had known all this time that I was here…

"What are you talking about? She's not here, she's at her-" Edward broke off as he finally saw me. "Shit," he muttered.

I shook my head and ran away from them. I needed time to think.

My boyfriend who's going to be a father soon just denied going out with me to his friends. I know it wasn't his fault especially since Mike Newton had somehow forced him to say those things. But I still felt betrayed anyway; it wasn't Mike's fault that Edward had said "that freshman" the same way he would have said "that piece of dirt under my shoe."

I know I was the one who started the idea to keep the relationship a secret at the first place because of the reason that Edward might get turned away from his group. His friends and future are more important than me.

I only thought – well, hoped – that tonight, Edward would have confessed the truth especially since we're having a baby.

How could he say those things to his friends when I needed him right now? Is that how he always is with his friends? Is that the real Edward? Was he playing me all this time?

"Bella!" he yelled over the loud speakers as he ran towards me.

"Stay away from me!" I shouted, heading towards the door.

"Bella, please listen to me!" I could hear the despair in his voice.

"There's nothing you can say to me anymore, Edward. We're through." I was almost at the street, but I heard his footsteps getting closer.

"Just leave me ALONE!" I burst out and with that said, I used up every bit of my energy to run across the street.

I didn't see the car driving along the road. If I had, I would have waited for it to pass by first before running across but I was too distraught… too hurt… too stupid.

The car had hit my hip first sending me rolling up the vehicle, my arm went through the front mirror and shards of mirror got inside the palm of my right hand, making me hiss in pain. All these happened before I went back down the road, still crying from what I've heard.

I was suddenly aware of wetness pouring down my legs.

"No, no, don't do this to me, please don't!" I whimpered.

"Bella!" I heard Edward's faint yell.

I didn't answer. I was too numb to care. I closed my eyes and allowed the cocoon of darkness to envelope me.

Not my baby.