Hey everyone. Right for off all I have to mention InconspicuousBunny, I am so grateful for your support and help, so thank you very much.
I glanced down at the paper, then back up at Debbie, then back down at the paper, then back up at Debbie. Finishing off Debbie's face was relatively easy, her face had good lines and a good shape, so it wasn't that difficult.
Debbie had let me have a break since I'd been working for 2 hours pretty much non-stop and I was grateful for it. I had grown ridiculously fond of Debbie in a very short space of time and I couldn't help but start to draw her. The current picture was of Debbie holding a plate of food in one hand and laughing. She laughs a lot and so I thought that it was the best way to capture her.
Her hair was even more fun to draw. It was so wild and such a good expression of Debbie that I couldn't help the smile that formed while I was drawing her.
As I began to draw her body, I stopped at her chest. Instead of writing the caption that was on her bright yellow shirt I began to shape in what I thought Debbie's heart would look like. Once the basic outline of the heart was finished, I bit my lip and watched Deb move her way around the diner. I couldn't give the drawing to her now as I had intended to. It had suddenly become a lot more personal now that I was creating Debbie's heart.
If hearts weren't such a private and personal thing, I would spend all of my time drawing them. I had always liked to imagine what a heart would look like just by watching people. It could be seen as stereotyping people by imagining their hearts, and it was probably was but that didn't stop my fascination.
Debbie's heart was, in my mind, very big and gave off a very loud aura. If I had colours it would be in the brightest red there ever was. I started to draw in the lines and imperfections each heart has to make them unique.
These lines were what represented a human's life, slight cracks and tears showed the pain that they had been put through and the darker shade of black showed where a human's 'bad' side came through. Quite a few people failed to show their hearts at their weddings just because they were embarrassed about the shade of black.
I remembered the day Gandhi had shown his heart on television, even I had cried at the pure beauty of it. It was perfectly shaped and a deep rich red colour. He had no black on his heart, and this had stunned me beyond words. He was that pure a person that no black would ever infect him.
I stared at my drawing of Debbie and back up at her, something about my drawing didn't fit. Debbie, though full of brash words and a deep belly laugh, seemed deeper than my drawing, more real and I bit my lip slightly. If I wasn't going to give the drawing to her anyway, surely it didn't matter what I added to her and so I slowly etched in a crack right down the middle of her heart.
A Heart Break. I knew that it was pretty unlikely that something like that had ever happened to Debbie, but something about her seemed to tell me she was in a lot more pain than she would ever let on. It saddened me to think that Debbie might have had the hardest ordeal in the world to deal with, it always seems to happen to the nicest of people.
I watched as Debbie stared at a young couple who were seemingly completely in love. The man cupped his partner's cheek lovingly before leaning over and kissing it. I watched as Debbie took a deep breath before asking for their order in her happy-go-lucky tone of voice. It only seemed to heighten my suspicion of a hidden sadness but I couldn't think about things like that.
People's dramas and hearts had nothing to do with me, however much I wanted them. I shifted on my stool and looked up to see Debbie's smiling figure in front of me. Shit!
"What's that Sunshine?" She asked and I felt sick.
"It's nothing Deb, nothing you want to see," I replied and tried to shove my drawing pad in my bag, which was hanging off the edge of my chair.
"Well, it's obviously something. Let me have a look. You know how much I love you're drawings," she beamed at me, pulling the pad out of my hands. "You're drawings are always so beautiful Sunshine, if you don't make it as an artist.…" She trailed off as her eyes scanned the image I'd sketched of her.
I glanced guiltily at the floor and waited for the screaming because I know Debbie has every right to be pissed at me. I probably would be if I found out that some little fag artist had been imagining what my heart would look like.
"Sunshine," Debbie muttered thickly and I looked up to see the tears falling down her cheeks. She grabbed a chair from one of the tables and pulled it up next to mine.
"How do you know?" She asked me shakily and I stared at her surprised.
"I'm sorry?" I replied, blinking dumbly at her.
"My heart. How do you know that's what it looks like?" She questioned, not seeming angry but more curious as she brushed the remaining tears away.
"I don't know, Deb," I replied sadly. "I just have this … almost an intuition sometimes about people's hearts. I've always had it and sometimes I can't help but draw them out. I know that it's really rude to do it, I'll tear it up, if you want. Originally, it was going to just be a simple drawing of you, but I felt like you had an underlying sadness and I thought that this might have been the reason."
"Well, fuck me. You got me dead on, Sunshine. Yeah, I got my heart broken when I was a lot younger, a lot more naive. Well, fucking stupid is what it was. Put my trust in a guy who took my heart and stomped on it, crushed it, fucking tore it apart is what he did. No-one has ever guessed apart from Michael, I think maybe Brian suspects but he never asks - as if he would." Debbie laughed conversationally but I watched as her eyes changed.
They became lost in memory and sadness and I knew that she could swear about it, laugh about it, joke about it but Debbie's Heart Break was a lot more serious than her version of it would seem.
"He had my everything, heart and soul," Debbie's voice said softly, so quiet I wasn't sure if I made it up. "But, as I always say; you can sit on your ass and moan and complain or you can move the fuck on. Personally, I think moving the fuck on is the better option, don't you Sunshine?" She asked me and I nodded my head in agreement.
"You're a good kid," she murmured, before patting my cheek and taking an order over to another table.
I let out a sigh of relief and ran my hands through my hair. I stared at the drawing for a few minutes before tearing it out of the pad and placing it on top of Debbie's jacket, which was lying beneath the counter.
I stood up and stretched my legs before wandering over to Debbie whilst tying my apron on.
"Sunshine, could you do that table over there?" Debbie asked me pointing vaguely in the direction where Lindsay was sitting.
"Sure," I replied grabbing my pad and walking over.
"What can I get you guys?" I asked, turning the page over and twisting the pen in my hand before glancing back up at the table.
"Justin!" Lindsay cried and I grinned at her.
"Hey," I replied, looking over at the woman sitting next to her. Lindsay saw where I was looking and grabbed the woman's hand.
"This is my beautiful wife, Melanie," Lindsay gushed, looking at Melanie with an adoring gaze and I rolled my eyes whilst she was looking at her wife, which earned me a chuckle from the other side of the table.
"Yeah, we met at your wedding," I replied, grinning at Mel.
"You did? I don't remember," Lindsay replied, frowning.
"Yeah, you were pretty wasted," I said laughing softly.
"Oh," she blushed a little, while Mel kissed her cheek.
"Good to see you again Justin," Mel told me and I smiled at her.
"You too."
I watched as she leaned in to kiss her partner and I turned my attention to the people opposite her.
"You!" I gasped, staring at the man, who I'd spilt orange juice over at Lindsay's wedding.
"And you," he drawled at me, his eyes flashing and I realised I'd forgotten how beautiful this man was. If I didn't know better I'd have thought he was some sort of Greek God.
"You two know each other?" A voice asked surprised and I looked over to the man sitting next to Brian.
He seemed cool enough but his eyes were cold and kept staring me up and down. I smirked at him, he was obviously smitten with Brian. His eyes would flash to the taller man as if to check he was still there and the adoration in his gaze was obvious.
"Mikey, this is Sunshine. Sunshine, Mikey," Brian answered, keeping his eyes locked on mine and I was a little bit shocked to see the lust and want in them.
"Sunshine?" Mikey laughed coolly, mocking me and I felt my cheeks blush.
"Yeah Sunshine, you got a problem with that?" Debbie's voice rang out behind me and I turned to see her standing with her hands on her hips.
"No, Ma," Mikey replied sighing and I smirked at him. Ma? Debbie was his mother? I laughed internally at this meek little man having Deb as a mother. They seemed so different already, and I had only met Mikey for a less than a minute.
"Lindsay have a look at this," Debbie replied and I watched as she shoved my drawing on the table right under Lindsay's nose.
I watched Lindsay gasp and knew I had made a horrible error with the drawing. What was I thinking drawing Debbie's heart? Sure she had seemed fine with it, but no-one could be okay with someone else imagining their heart. Fuck. I tried to back away slowly, when I felt a hand on my arm.
I turned to see Brian gently holding my arm, and his eyes seemed to say, 'it's fine, relax.' It was funny the effect his hazel eyes had on me. I could get lost in their depths and I relaxed immediately. I didn't even know this man but somehow I trusted him as I would trust a best friend, or lover. I frowned at the thought and shook my head a little before I stepped back up to the table and fiddled with the pad of paper looking anywhere but at Lindsay.
"Debbie, I should..." I started to whisper but Lindsay held up her hand.
"Who drew this?" She asked awe apparent in her voice and I frowned.
"Justin did," Debbie replied firmly and I felt myself blush. Again.
"Yeah, well it's only in rough and the colours aren't, I mean I haven't added colour and I know the lines are a bit off but it was only a sketch and about the whole heart business I didn't mean to draw her heart it just burst out of me and I..."
"Justin this is amazing," Lindsay's voice broke through my rambling and I stared at her in shock.
"What?" I asked, my eyebrows lifting.
"This is really, really good. Brian have a look at this," she said and pushed my sketch across the table to Brian.
"Justin, you are really talented. How is it that you're working here at the diner?" She asked her voice incredulous.
"Urm, I'm trying to pay my way through art school, though at the moment it looks like I'm going to have to drop out." I explained a little embarrassed about my money problems.
"What? Why?" Lindsay's voice rose slightly higher and I blinked at her in surprise.
"Because my asshole of a father is refusing to pay for my tuition and I'm not making anywhere near enough money to be able to stay at PIFA. So, yeah. Dropping out seems like a better option," I finished and tried to look anywhere but at the hazel eyes that were staring right at me.
"Debbie, can I…?" I asked her desperate for any excuse to get away from the group of people watching me.
"Yeah, sure Sunshine. Take a break honey," she said and smiled at me as I passed her and pushed open the back door suddenly desperate for some air.
