Summary: When Remus doesn't return from a spy mission, the whole order is left wondering and searching. After two months, Bellatrix reveals the secret they've had him the whole time. However, when Sirius finds him, the torture method is found. And it's not physical. Can Sirius repair his best friend's mind? Or is it the end of Moony? Au-Sirius survives the battle at the ministry. During Ootp. Inspired by RedvsBlue season 10


That night Remus lay awake, his bed across from Sirius. He had trouble remembering his name, so it took a lot of reminders and pauses. I already have trouble knowing my name, why should I try to remember other's as well? He thought bitterly. It was hard learning in one night that you did know everyone around you. Sirius told him that it would be ok to go slow in meeting everyone, and if he felt uncomfortable, to tell him.

It did feel nice, he realized, to have an actual bed, and not the hard floor of the dungeon. He fell asleep to that thought, his mind still wandering.


The next morning, Remus woke up late, feeling better than he had in two months. However, he still felt a twinge of something in his mind. He didn't feel well about "meeting" all the people downstairs. He could hear them, and his heart raced at the sound of everyone.

Taking a deep breath, he stood up, and walked out the bedroom door. He hadn't bothered to change last night, everything had just been too stressful. Walking down the steps, he could hear how quiet everyone got before he walked into the kitchen. Everyone turned to look at him, everyone giving small smiles and polite hello's.

"Good morning, Remus. How are you?" A short kind-looking lady asked him, rubbing his arm. Remus gave the best smile he could, and nodded. "As well as I could be, Mrs" He trailed off, looking at her for a name. The woman looked at him, a bit taken aback before smiling again. "Molly, dear. Call me Molly." Remus nodded, looking at the rest. Sirius was by the counter, drinking a cup of tea with a messy-haired boy with glasses.

"Well, Remus, if you sit down, we will introduce ourselves." Molly led him to the table, sitting him down. He complied, sitting down next to a red-headed boy.

"Well, I'll start. I'm Fred." One of the Red-headed boys said, next to his twin, who smiled at him. "And I'm George. Don't worry, we won't switch on you like everyone else." Remus smiled. "Oh, I think I'll get you switched up on my own." Everyone laughed softly, then a brown-haired girl went next. "I'm Hermione." Remus nodded. Everyone went around, saying their names, getting to the messy-haired boy next to Sirius.

"Harry." the boy said, giving him a sad smile. Remus nodded, going over their names in his head a couple of times to make sure he remembered them. Everyone went back to talking to each other, Sirius sitting on his other side. "Here, mate." He said, handing him a scrapbook.

"It'll help you remember, looking at the pictures." Remus nodded. Standing up, he took the book under an arm. "I think I will look at these privately." He said softly. Sirius looked ready to argue, but a look from Molly silenced him. He walked back upstairs, and sat back down on his bed.


He looked at the pictures for a long time. A lot of the pictures were of him, and three other boys. One looked very similar to Sirius, he realized, but he didn't think it could be him. Some were of him laughing, a messy haired boy who looked similar to the boy downstairs.

Harry, he told himself. His name is Harry. But the boy in the pictures wasn't Harry, he knew that. The boy in the pictures was much taller, and was much more lanky.

Another boy looked similar to Peter: one of the people who were staying with the Malfoy family. When he flipped to page to look at more pictures, his head suddenly burst with pain. He dropped the book, clutching his head. Biting his hand to keep from screaming, he curled on the floor, his eyes watering in agony. As he lay on the floor, his head flashed with memories of him back at school. He was with all the people in the pictures, but it seemed different. It seemed as though it happened long ago, and not like it seemed to be a year ago.

He laid on the floor with that thought, as his brain tried to piece the new information together. Once the headache subsided he sat back up, wiping his tear streaked face. He sat there for an hour, his mind racing. No matter how hard he tried, nothing made sence. He just couldn't piece it together. He knew he knew the people in the pictures, but the picture of him and the boy who looked like Sirius made him wonder: Do I really know them?

He had no reason to trust them. Though they had treated them kindly, they really did nothing for him to trust them. Though the Malfoy's kept him in the basement, that's all they did. He wasn't harmed, was he? Yeah, he watched a lot of people die. But he didn't know those people.

Yet all the people downstairs- he knew them. It wasn't just because he was told that, he felt it. He couldn't remember how, or where, but he knew them.

He sat with that thought, and just stared at the book that laid across from him.


Downstairs, Sirius was sitting at the table, head in his hands. The trio and Ginny had gone back to Hogwarts for the rest of the school year, with Sirius promising Harry that he would try to get Dumbledore to let him stay with him. The twins had gone back to their new home above a shop they bought in Diagon ally. Molly and the rest of the order were discussing Remus, trying to figure out a way to help him.

"Well, we have to go back to the Manor. That's were the pieces of him are most likely to be, unless they moved somewhere else." Sirius stated, looking to Mad-eye.

"We? Sirius, you are not going on this mission. You are staying here. Both Harry and Remus need you. You've known Remus the longest, so you know him better than anyone." Tonks told him, her hair glowing a tinge of red.

"Tonks is right, Sirius. If we can't manage to get those pieces of him back, then we need to to help him get them back on his own." Kingsley told him. Sirius didn't meet his eyes, but nodded.

"Fine, but the minute you need someone else, then I'm going." Kingsley made a noise of disagreement, about to argue, until Mad-eye held his hand up.

"Only if we need you Sirius. Not if you think we need you." With that, Mad-eye and the rest of the order left.

Sirius stayed at the table, just staring.


Later, when Molly had made sure to leave Sirius and Remus enough food, she left. Walking up the steps, he was surprised to see Remus sitting on the ground in the hallway. The book lay next to him, open on a page of the last day of their sixth year. Sirius, meeting Remus's eyes, sat down across from him. Remus attempted to give him a small smile.

"Remus, mate, are you ok?" Sirius asked, reaching out to touch Remus's arm. Remus shrugged. "Sirius... is that you in the pictures?" Remus asked, not looking up to Sirius.

Be cautious. Be slow in helping him remember. Don't go to fast, Dumbledore had told him. With a sad smile, Sirius tilted Remus chin up.

"Yes. It is you." Sirius told him. Remus nodded. Sirius took a deep breath in.

"I know you want me to remember. I just...can't. It just seems fuzzy inside my mind. I know I'm supposed to have these memories, but I...I can't bring myself to remember." Remus said quietly.

Sirius couldn't think of anything to say. Instead, he just sat himself next to Remus, and wrapped an arm around his friend. The two sat there for the rest of the night.


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