Prompt: Can you do #14 with hinny? (this is for linda who submitted a post!)
A/N: this is silly but hopefully funny. Also no offense about Percy and Audrey, they just seemed like the couple most likely to do this xD
14. "Can we do something with a lot of adrenaline involved, like jumping from a plane or robbing a bank?"
Harry really loves having a family, the Weasleys in general are the best thing that happened to him, but Percy and Audrey are…difficult.
Not in the old "Percy used to be a jerk" way and more in the "please stop telling boring stories and forcing me to eat your subpar chicken pot pie" type way. Which was fine, when it was limited to birthdays or childbirths or the occasional sibling dinner.
But then, Audrey says they should have monthly couples evening to 'catch up,' and it feels like a prattish move to say no.
And it goes okay, at first, until Percy and Audrey go on a week long holiday to the seaside and bring back a two-hundred and fifty picture slide show with notes.
Still, he really is trying to be polite - unlike Ron who immediately started napping when the lights went down - but Ginny's really not helping. She lasted about ten slides before she started providing her own helpful commentary on what she termed 'the most boring holiday of all time.'
They pause at the halfway mark - because Harry apparently burned down a pet shelter in a past life - for a 'two minute' loo break and he is really considering risking family disharmony for the sake of his own sanity. But there's that niggling at the back of his brain, the thing he really knows is what's keeping all of them there despite the nearly inhuman torture of the evening. Percy.
Which, yes he is obviously what's keeping them there, but it's more. After the war, he was, distant, hesitant. Like he thought they would turn him out after one wrong move. It took George pelting him with rolls and telling him to be his usual pratty self and stop walking on egg shells to get back to some sort of normal.
It's still tentative though, when things are less than perfect, and even when they're fine - it just feels like Percy is trying. So they try too.
Which means they can't leave, but that doesn't mean Ginny has to keep her opinions to herself.
So as the lights dim and Harry settles in for part two, Ginny leans close, "After this, I need to make sure I haven't fallen into a concious coma."
Harry chuckles, "Those are opposite things."
Ginny watches a few slides then leans back in to his ear, "See, I'm losing my mind - Percy must be testing some new Ministry method for law enforcement punishment."
"I would know about that."
"The deep state, my child," Ginny murmurs, "It's real. Open your eyes."
"I can't close them, I may just die from absolute boredom."
"Seriously though, we need to do something to feel alive tonight."
Harry's hand toys with the hairs that just brush Ginny's jawline, "Is that a come-on?"
Leaning close, Ginny presses a kiss to his cheek and stifles her laughter as Percy shows the eight photo of shucked clams in a row, "No - I mean something with a lot of adrenaline involved, like jumping from a plane or robbing a bank?"
"I cannot let you rob a bank."
"Arresting me would be hot."
"See this just goes with my original suggestion."
And then a rather adult photo of Percy and Audrey's romantic boat tour pops up, Audrey flushes, Percy looks disturbingly chuffed, and Harry feels nauseous.
Dropping her head back, Ginny groans so only Harry can hear. "I may never want to shag again."
