Chapter Two
A/N: No reviewers.
It was easy enough to pretend that nothing was wrong in the bustle of the Great Hall at Hogwarts, where a thousand people seemed to go this way and that with each passing minute. The Malfoys had sat on the edge of the action, invisible to all but the most scathing of glances. With the celebrations all around them, it was easy to forget the horrors that had come before the victory.
But at Malfoy Manor, it was not so simple. The very walls seemed to be stained by the Dark Lord's presence, the halls echoing with tortured screams. Over the last two years, the Malfoys' house had become nothing short of a prison, as much for them as for the ones who had been locked in their cellar. One thing was for sure; the house no longer felt like home.
As soon as they crossed the threshold, Draco had mumbled some excuses and headed up the stairs to his bedroom, leaving his parents silent in his wake. It was as if the last candle in the room had been extinguished, and the air between the two turned frozen.
"I'm going upstairs to rest." Lucius stated eventually, when even Draco's receding footsteps had faded away. Narcissa answered with only a heavy sigh, the sound of a woman who had long since been resigned to her fate. The sudden change was not lost on her husband. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing important." Narcissa answered, her tone dripping with mockery. They were the same two words Lucius had given her for months, whenever she begged him to tell her the truth of his feelings. "Go and rest, if you want to."
"Narcissa." Lucius' tone was almost warning, the same icy tone he showed the world. She looked up at him, raising her chin in defiance. He was the first to back down, sighing so deeply he seemed to deflate like a balloon. "Please, tell me. What's the matter?"
"What do you think?" the woman whispered, suddenly more saddened than angry. "The world has fallen apart, Lucius. We've fallen apart. For two years, all I have lived and breathed is fear, wondering if the slightest movement would get me killed; even worse, Draco. Or you. Now it's all over, and everyone is celebrating having their lives back at long last. But I don't feel the same. Everything I lost in the war… it seems as though it's still lost."
Lucius stared at Narcissa as if he was seeing her anew. The woman had seemed so strong throughout the war, the pillar that kept her husband and son from toppling to the ground. She had held them both as they cried, whispering reassurances in their ears and promising that it would all be alright in the end. He had never considered that she might be on the edge of crumbling herself.
"What can I do?" Lucius asked, reaching for her hand. "Tell me what I can do to make it alright again."
No sooner had their fingertips come together than Narcissa turned her shoulder, letting his hand fall limp at his side once more. After the way he had behaved toward her, perhaps the gesture should not have stung him as much as it did.
"There's nothing you can do, Lucius." she sighed. "The damage is done. Everyone's happy and celebrating for now, but sooner or later, all three of us are going to be hauled up in front of the Ministry for our crimes."
Lucius' guilt had welled so high in his heart, he almost felt he might drown in heartache. It was not their crimes, it never had been. He had been the one to follow the Dark Lord wholeheartedly, and he had dragged his wife and son along behind him.
"I'm sorry, Cissa." The affectionate term made Narcissa shiver. The derivative of her name that was Lucius' and Lucius' alone had always been the easiest way for him to end an argument. But this was not just a petty squabble; this was their lives, their son's life, and he had thrown it all away on a chance.
"I know you are." She could not help but make that concession, however angry she might be. After all, Lucius could lie to a great many people, but never to her; she could see in his eyes that his heart was breaking with every beat. "The thing is, I'm not sure that if we were offered a place in the height of the Dark Lord's favour, you would not do the same thing again in a heartbeat. You might regret what happened, but you don't regret your loyalty. And that is what I find more difficult to forgive."
Ironically, for the small gesture that had started this harsh telling of truths, it was Narcissa who set off for the staircase, climbing the steps with the speed and agility of a woman tired far beyond her years. Lucius did not walk after her, knowing that she would push him away if he tried. There was no end of guest bedrooms in the manor, he would certainly find somewhere to sleep; although the man was almost certain that sleep would evade him.
Instead, he made his way into his private study, taking comfort in the familiar solitude of it all. Draco had only entered the room on a handful of occasions, Narcissa perhaps a score of times since she had lived at Malfoy Manor with him; it was the only place where it did not hurt so much to be alone.
'She's right.' Lucius thought, even the voice inside his head sounding like a reluctant sigh. 'If I thought I could have the riches and glory, I would have done it all over again. I still would. How can I be such a monster, that I would sacrifice my own wife and child for the sake of power?'
Lucius cast a glance at the picture standing proudly on the edge of his desk. It was a scene from more than a decade ago, when Draco was still a small boy. It had snowed so heavily that only white could be seen for miles around, and the boy had relished playing with something so dormant, and yet so magical. Tucked away safe inside the silver frame, Narcissa spun her son round and round in the snow, both of them laughing joyfully as the flakes danced around them. It was the very image of family, of comfort, of love… how appropriate, then, that Lucius had been hidden behind the lens.
"I can make it right. I'll find a way." he whispered to himself, as if wishing hard enough would make it so. But no matter how many times he whispered it, he could not make himself believe. There was nothing that could be done now, but wait.
A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I love Lucissa with all my heart, but I don't think she could have let what happened in the war go without addressing the fact that they all might be going to prison for something her and Draco didn't want to be part of. More drama to come; please review!
