Knock! Knock!
"Mitchie! C'mon we're going to be late." My non-expecting husband called through the door.
"I'm coming." I shouted back as I wiped the tears that had over spilled away.
How was I going to tell him? How was he going to react? Would he think I got pregnant on purpose? How would I survive if he walked out on me...on us?
"Mitch, are you o.k.?" Shane asked pulling at the locked handle.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just finishing my hair and makeup. Go on down to the car I won't be long." I assured him as I studied myself in the mirror to ensure nothing would give me away.
"O.k. but try and be quick you know how impatient Grace can be."
I waited till I heard the front door of our house shut before taken an unsteady deep breath. Shane will be o.k. with this I assured myself he'd be fine. Or he'd hate me for ruining his career. I thought as I reapplied my eye makeup covering any traces of my emotions, something I had to do often.
I thought marrying Shane would strengthen our relationship however after our talk on our honeymoon and the multiple arguments after that I was brought quickly down to earth, maybe it was my own fault for not talking about starting a family before getting married…whoever's fault it was since then the big elephant in the room was making things uncomfortable.
But what has happened has happened, I thought seriously Shane would just have to deal plus nothings for definite yet; pregnancy tests aren't 100% correct all the time.
But I'd have to wait to tell him, I couldn't ruin Grace's big day.
I grabbed the little white stick off the toilet seat as I exited the bathroom and put it in my gold satin purse that matched the gold stiletto sandals I was wearing. I would dispose of it when it was safe.
I walked quickly downstairs, spotting the large parcel on the desk by the door I grabbed it before sighing at myself in the mirror, it would be a long time before I would be able to fit into this dress again.
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The car ride was quiet; it always was when we were going to Nate and Caitlyn's house because unlike Shane, Nate couldn't wait to start a family with Caitlyn so after their short engagement and even shorter wedding Caitlyn became pregnant with Grace.
"Can you grab the present?" I asked as we exited the car just to break the silence.
"Sure." He smiled crookedly.
"Can't believe little Grace is four today." I smiled.
"Yeah." Was all Shane said, because in his mind anytime I mentioned Grace or any other child I was asking him for a baby.
"Shane." I almost shouted as the anger burned beneath my skin.
He looked at me eyes wide with shock because of my tone.
"Mitchie!" Caitlyn shouted from the door interrupting.
I hide my frown and smiled widely as I bounced up the steps towards her.
"Hey Caity." I smiled as I hugged her. "Where's the birthday girl?"
"All the kids are just sitting down to eat."
"We're not too late, are we?" I asked as we made our way in through the house followed by Shane.
"No not really but she'll know you's are late." Caitlyn smiled.
"Finally." Grace's high soprano voice greeted us as we walked through the door, obviously she picked up some of her mother's sarcasm. Then her arms were wrapped firmly around my leg.
"Happy Birthday Gracie." I smiled rubbing her head gently. "Uncle Shane has your present."
"Yay!" She squealed before darting passed me and nearly knocking Shane down as she hugged him.
I watched as he awkwardly hugged her back and gave her the present. The sad thing was he wouldn't be this uncomfortable around her if I wasn't here.
"Shane's still uncomfortable around kids huh?" Caitlyn asked as she watched the exchange with me.
"Only around me." I said grudgingly. "He probably thinks if I see him comfortable around kids I'll think he changed his mind."
"Don't worry he'll come around to the idea soon." Caitlyn said reassuringly.
"Mummy mummy." Grace squealed excitedly. "Look at what Auntie Mitchie and Uncle Shane got me." She said jumping up and down waving the dance mat in the air.
"That's great sweetie, let's find your daddy so we can set this up." Caitlyn smiled brightly as the little girl bounced across the room and took her hand.
"Thank you!" Grace sung as they exited the room.
"I'm going to find Jason." Shane said as he walked towards me. "Do you want to come?"
"Um...I'll catch up with you." I smiled lopsidedly.
"O.k." He smiled kissing me on the head. "I'll see you in a bit."
I waited till he left before I made my way towards the sliding doors in Caitlyn's living room; the other parents were too involved in making sure their kids kept their party clothes clean or in conversations among each other so I slipped out without being noticed.
I walked quickly around the side of the huge house to the dustbins, and tossed the little white stick into it burying it under some crisp packets.
I sighed with relief when I was sure no one would notice it.
"Hi."
I nearly jumped out of my skin, dropping the lid of the bin making it bang loudly.
"Oh I'm sorry Mitchie." Jason apologised quickly. "I should announce myself first."
I shook my head as I calmed down, "Don't worry about it." I said as I threw my arms around him and embraced him in a huge hug. "Gosh I haven't seen you in forever."
"I know, what's that about?" Jason smiled.
"I've no idea." I tried to giggle. But in truth we both knew why I hadn't seen much of him. Jason unlike Nate and Shane hadn't settled down yet and because of that he was seeing girl after girl to find the "one". But that wasn't the problem Jason balanced friends and girlfriends amazingly; it was his recent love interest that was the problem.
Courtney was a runner up in one of those pointless reality programmes the boys had to judge, to be honest I always thought she was just after Jason for the fame.
"We should have dinner some night this week and catch up." I swallowed a lump of disgust before continuing, "You could even bring Courtney."
"Actually..." Jason looked at the ground as he spoke quietly. "Courtney and I aren't together."
I beat back the wide smile that was threatening to appear on my face, "Aw I'm sorry Jase." I said embracing him in another hug.
"It's o.k. I know you didn't really like her." Jason smiled crookedly as we pulled apart.
"Didn't hide it well, did I?" I laughed nervously.
"No." Jason laughed lightly.
"Sorry." I mumbled looking at the ground.
"Its fine, you're my best friend I like knowing how you feel about my girlfriends. You know you can tell me anything." He smiled wrapping an arm around my waist and squeezing me gently.
I instantly felt guilty, was I not just out hear hiding the biggest secret instead of trying to share it with Jason…or Shane?
"So, how come you were out here?" Jason asked.
"I just had to throw out a couple of things for Caity." I lied quickly which made me feel awful immediately lying to Jason was a first for me and I wanted to tell him about everything but I swore the first person I would tell would be Shane and it wasn't 100% yet. I'd have to get a doctor's appointment soon.
"Mitchie?"
"Did you see Shane he was looking for you?" I said quickly pulling him towards the side door I slipped out.
"No, I seen you come out here so I..." But before Jason could say anything else he collided with a dark haired girl just as she was making her way through the door we were going in. "Woops, I'm so sorry." Jason said instantly helping the girl pick up the large bags of trash she dropped.
"Its o.k." The girl smiled warmly at Jason, and in the moment their eyes met the sparks between them were almost visible.
"Here I'll help you with these." Jason smiled. "Mitchie I'll catch up with you in a minute." He smiled at me as he followed the girl out the door.
I smiled after them before making my way into Grace's playroom.
"Hi Mitchie." Nate smiled as he fiddled with the chord that attached the dance mat to the T.V.
"Hey." I smiled back. "Who's the really pretty dark haired girl?" I asked as I made my way to Shane's side.
"Oh that's Ella." Caitlyn smiled. "She's our nanny. Why?"
"Oh nothing." I smiled; Jason would tell them when he was ready. "How's the dance mat coming along?"
"Nearly done." Nate smiled, switching through the channels.
"I'll go get Grace." Caitlyn smiled leaving the room.
Caitlyn was back in no time, being dragged by Grace who seemed nearly ready to burst with excitement.
Knock! Knock!
"Um...Mrs Rushton, can I talk to you for a minute please?" Ella asked quietly from the door with Jason standing behind her with a confused expression.
"Sure Ella." Caitlyn smiled. "It's my go next so no one take it." She called over her shoulder as she went to stand in front of Ella just outside the door.
My own nosiness made me watch the exchange it looked like Ella was apologising while Caitlyn seemed to be reassuring her. Then after a moment Ella pulled out a white stick from her apron. As Caitlyn shook her head with disbelieve the breath got caught in my throat.
I watched nervously as Caitlyn insisted it didn't belong to her, I caught a glimpse of Jason he looked as if something just came to him and as his eyes met mine his mouth made an "O" shape.
I felt my eyes widen and I shook my head frantically at him, hopefully no one noticed.
Jason simply nodded once then mouthed "Later."
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Coward as I am, I tried to avoid Jason for the rest of the day by helping Caitlyn find out who the pregnancy test belonged to, she didn't even ask me, the thought was probably ridiculous considering everyone knew how Shane felt about children.
My method had worked until we were getting ready to leave.
"Mitchie!" Jason called as he jogged down the steps after me.
Crap, I thought I was home dry as I looked at the three steps left between my car and me and considered walking on but I knew I couldn't so with a sigh I turned around and waited for him to catch up.
"Mitch, what's going on?" Jason demanded when he was standing on the same step as me.
"Jase, I can't talk about this right now." I said quietly gesturing to the car, which Shane was already in.
"Oh." He sighed indicating he understood. "Well we can talk tomorrow at lunch, I'll see you at twelve in the Golden Cherub Lounge." He said in a tone that wasn't worth arguing with.
"Fine." I said reluctantly turning back towards the car.
"What did Jason want?" Shane asked as I slid into the passenger's seat of our BMW Z3.
"He just wanted to finalise our plans for lunch tomorrow." I lied smoothly.
