Chapter Two

Moving In:

In Which Life Becomes More Chaotic than Anyone could have Anticipated

A/N: Thank you all for the reviews, especialy Vintage Writer, thanks for putting us on your C2. The story is rated for some "crude" humor. I hope we don't offend anyone:) Sylar says "Thanks," too. Oh, and we don't own this, we just like to play with it.

Upon arriving at the Petrelli mansion, Angela gave them all several more rules about tracking dirt into the house. After that speech, Adam asked her,

"Why do you care? You can just clean it with a snap of your fingers." Nathan turned and faced his mother.

"What--" he began.

"Oh don't listen to him," Angela said, "Adam is just trying to make trouble."

"So that's why the house was never dirty," Peter said, joining the conversation.

"I thought you didn't remember anything," Angela accused.

"It's coming back to me now."

"Oh, fiddle sticks!" Angela lifted her chin and marched up the stairs without another word. Adam fought laughter while Nathan and Claire went to the kitchen to find some popsicles. Peter followed close behind them, while Noah was in hot pursuit. If there was to be any good fathering going on, he wanted to be in on it. In the kitchen, Nathan stuck his head into the freezer.

"Mom!" he called, "Where are the popsicles?!"

"I threw them away," Angela called from upstairs, "You asked me to buy them three months ago and you never ate them."

"Oh," Nathan recalled, sheepishly, "that's right. Noah, go buy us some popsicles."

"Why?"

"Because you're the errand runner and Claire wants popsicles."

"Fine," Noah stomped out the front door, pushing Hiro aside as he went. Hiro gave the remaining Popsicle Hunters an inquisitive look. They all shrugged their shoulders and started looking in the cupboards for cookies. Hiro joined them until he got a sharp yell from Adam that the house was not adequately defended. In the living room, West, Micah, Molly, and Monica had built a fort out of the various expensive furniture therein. This earned them some scolding and a demonstration of power from Angela. Out on the lawn, Hiro brought Adam a cookie. The samurai inspected the offered pleasantry.

"Is it poisoned?" He asked. Hiro gave him a questioning look.

"I couldn't poison you anyway." He said. Adam conceded that point and satisfied himself that Hiro was not conspiring to kill him, while enjoying his cookie. Upstairs Caitlin was enlisting Nicki to help her squirt toothpaste under Nathan's pillow, and Matt and Maury were thinking of funny dreams to give Noah. Down the hall, Mohinder and Sylar were arguing about who had to sleep next to Claude, who had disappeared as soon as they entered the house, but sneaked up on people every so often. They had completely forgotten that they hated each other and were much more concerned with the invisible man. Periodically, Claude would appear and ask,

"Why do you talk about me as if I wasn't here?" At one such time, he remained invisible so Mohinder said,

"For all intensive purposes you are not here, now go away." Sylar gave him a curious look. It was all so confusing that the three of them spent the rest of the day trying to sort out the physics of it all.

H H H H H H H H

When Noah returned with the popsicles, he found Adam and Hiro on the front lawn throwing cookies in the air and catching them in their mouths. Inside he found more cookie eating and Angela following the children around, cleaning up after them. He deposited the popsicles on the table and asked,

"Claire, what are you drinking?"

"Liquid Plumber," Claire said between sips.

"Why?!"

"Ok, are you ready for this? Because I can. Hey, Peter, we should see if Adam would like this."

"Good idea," Peter said, and they ran out the door. Noah looked rather baffled.

"Don't ask me," Nathan said. They then went into a heated discussion about intestines growing back and upset stomachs. Outside Claire ran up to Adam.

"You've got to try this," she said handing him a glass.

"What is it," he asked while bringing it to his lips.

"Liquid Plumber," Peter said with a grin. Adam promptly choked on the substance.

"Why did you do that?" he asked between gags.

"It's good," Claire said. Adam looked from her to Peter.

"Is she insane?" He asked.

"No," Peter replied, "We can't die so we decided to take advantage of it."

"Oh," Adam nodded and drank the whole glass.

"What is it?" Hiro asked, coming up behind them.

"You wouldn't like it," Adam said, "It unclogs drains."

"Why are you drinking it?! You could kill yourself! What am I saying?!" He walked away from them, more confused than when he came.

H H H H H H H H

When everyone gathered around the table for dinner, they heard shouting in the kitchen. Sylar had insisted on being Mohinder's assistant because he wouldn't eat Mohinder's cooking unless he watched him prepare it. (There was that whole drugged tea thing.) While they were waiting, Peter, Claire, and Adam sampled some more household chemicals.

"Will you three stop drinking all of my cleaning supplies?!" Angela said, exasperated.

"Didn't we already go through this?" Adam replied, threateningly. Angela crossed her arms and pouted. Peter and Claire giggled into their napkins.

"Sit up straight, Peter," Angela said.

"Oh, chill out, mom," Nathan said, surprising everyone. Caitlin sensed that now was her time.

"Eeeeew!" she cried. "Nathan farted!"

"I did not!" Nathan insisted.

"Oh, gross, I can smell it!" Nicki exclaimed.

"Mom," Micah said, "I don't smell anything."

"Be quiet and play along," Nicki said through her teeth.

"Where did you get such an idea?" Nathan asked.

"Nathan, I'm sure it was an accident," Peter said, "Caitlin wouldn't make up something like this, would you?"

"Of course not," Caitlin smiled at Peter, which made everything all better in his mind. Nathan was not so satisfied, but just then dinner arrived.

"Everything is safe to eat!" Sylar proclaimed on entering the dining room. Mohinder glared at him, but sat down and passed the food.

"Don't you think it is rather dangerous to be consuming toxic chemicals? I mean for the rest of us. Someone else might accidentally drink them." Mohinder directed his question at the three indestructibles.

"No more dangerous than drinking your tea," Sylar said.

"That was not the question."
"No, I suppose you're right," Claire said, "but isn't drinking coke just as dangerous. I mean they use it to clean blood off of asphalt."

"It's not as imminently deadly," Mohinder said. Claire nodded and put down her glass.

"Ok, guys, no more Windex." Peter and Adam groaned in protest, but set down their cups too. Many of the heroes eyed their food suspiciously.

"Oh, just eat it," Molly said, "It's good." Everyone simultaneously brought their forks to their mouths and gingerly sampled the fare. Everyone was silent. Mohinder didn't really care what they thought of his food and ate contentedly.

"So, what's in this stuff?" Micah asked.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to refer to food as 'stuff'?" Nicki said.

"You don't want to know," Sylar answered, with a disturbed look in his eyes.

"You're eating it too," Mohinder accused.

"Granted," Sylar remained menacing.

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