Chapter Two – The Confirmation

Right… one word – "sprung!" I mean, how much more obvious can you get? He excuses himself to 'go to the gents'. Two minutes later, she announces that she needs to 'go and powder her nose'… Ten minutes later, they both appear at the doorway to the toilets and make their separate ways back to the table: her weaving through the maze of tables, him walking alongside the bar. He gets back first, slumping himself down on his chair with a satisfied sigh; she sits gently, gingerly, ladylike onto hers. He is noticeably more relaxed, less fidgety and seems not to notice or remember that it does not take ten minutes to walk up to a urinal, unzip, whip it out, skin it back, relieve yourself and then stow everything back away again; her face is flushed with a feint brushing of pink, pupils dilated, that inconcealable "just-been-fucked afterglow-of-doom" grin…

Plus, I saw them coming out of the ladies together…

What's the matter, Lily – is Prongs not man enough for you? Too small? Too fast? Can't get it up? That crap in bed that you had to shag my boyfriend? And it's really rather obvious, sweetie, not for the first time, either!

Do they think that I'm stupid or something? That I came down in the last fucking shower? Born yesterday, not to mention a whole list of other cheesy (and also curiously insulting) clichés? Honestly! I mean, I could understand it if it was Wormy that they thought they were deceiving, but me? Me?! I'm a teacher, for Chrissakes! Alright – I may not be clever enough to be a Healer or an accountant or something, but they don't let just anyone into the teaching profession, I'll have you know!

At that moment, I don't know what hurts me more – that I've just confirmed for a fact that Sirius is cheating on me, that Sirius is cheating on me with another woman, or that two of my best friends in the whole world think that I am too ignorant to even notice their blatant sexual antics…

But what to do? Should I let them know that their little number's up? That I know? Or should I sit here and stew for the sake of a calm and pleasant evening? Well all too soon it looks like the decision has been made for me when all three of my companions keep asking me what's wrong, am I feeling okay with the whole moon approaching and whatnot, and what the fuck is up with me because I'm snapping and snarling at everybody all of a sudden and it's most unlike me, apparently. Then finally Wormtail realises that it's his round at the bar and buggers off to go and get the drinks in. Well, it's now or never, as they say. So I turn to them, Lily sitting opposite me, Sirius to my right with his arm draped casually around my shoulders – the fucking gall of it! – and I give them my best icy stare which, admittedly not as good as the ones we all remember McGonagall throwing at us, still appears to have the fabulous ability to stop the inane bantering gossip between them and make them spin around to face me. Satisfied that I have their total and undivided (if not ever-so-slightly guilt-laced) attention, I turn to them and I say

"I know."

"Know? Know what, Remus?" Lily replies with a saccharine tongue.

"I know," I repeat.

"Moony, darling, what the hell are you talking about?" Sirius this time, who has the nerve… the utter nerve to sound genuinely confused. Clearly I haven't put my point across sufficiently. Oh, well, once more with feeling and all that… I nod at Sirius, slowly, deliberately, and then turn my head and no at Lily.

"I… fucking… know…"

"Ah."

"Oh, dear." Now they know. Now they know that I know.

Lily, at last, has the decency to look utterly mortified. But Sirius, well, he just raises his eyebrows at me.

"Y-you w-w-won't," Lily stammers, "you won't tell James, will you, Remus?"

"How long?"

"About three months, Remus. You won't tell James though, will you?"

"Yes, Remus. I won't lie to you, you know that. But you won't te–"

"And you, Sirius?" I say, addressing him by his first name for the first time in six years as much for effect as to block out Lily who sounds remorseful only for the concern of her blasted husband finding out that she's fucking his best friend. "Will you tell me the truth about this?"

"Of course, darling. Have I ever lied to you?"

"I won't answer that right now, if you don't mind, darling?"

"And what's that supposed to mean, eh?"

"It means that I'm afraid of what I might say, Sirius." That shuts him up. "I mean, is Lily the only person who you've been seeing behind my back, eh? All those times when you've been 'working late' yet come back home stinking of this very pub?

"Yes," he says, managing to keep a straight face and chillingly piercing eye-contact. "Lily is the only one. I'm so very sorry, but as a woman she could give me one or two things in the bed department which, for all your blessings, you couldn't give me. And you're right about the whole working late thing. Evidently it was a crappy excuse which, well… it sank without a ripple, didn't it?" he asks. I nod. "Except that some of the time," he adds, a little nervously now, "I really was working late."

"Yeah, well… I swear to Go, Sirius, you had better not have fucking lied to me. Because if I find out that you have…"

"But, Remus," Lily pipes up again, "you… you won't tell James, will you?

"Drinks have arrived!" proclaims Wormtail, the Master of Shitty Timing, as he enthusiastically plonks down fresh alcohol in front of us, grinning. "Didn't miss much, did I"

"Oh, no, Peter," Lily giggles with an equally synthetic smile across her poisonous, treacherous lips. I raise my pint to the table and propose a toast.

"To old friends, and to getting to know them even better than before!"

"To old friends!" everyone choruses, Wormtail happily quaffing his own pint whilst the Whore of Babylon and Cassanova's Wannabe shoot be an uneasy, worried glance each. And maybe it's overly bitchy, or cruel, but I'm well past giving a rat's arse and I'm feeling a bit like a cruel bitch right now anyway. So I let a fantastically wolf-like grin spread across my own lips, deciding that perhaps it's time that they suffered, too. I think I'll just keep them both dangling for now – maybe I'll keep quiet about their little affair to Prongs; but then again, who knows what may accidentally slip out when he arrives later after his shift and I've had a tiny bit too much to drink…

"Cheers!"