Disclaimer: I don't own anything "She's the Man". I own the DVD Movie, but not the RIGHTS to the DVD movie.
Thanks to my readers and reviewers…your reviews keep me going!
And yes, Viola let Paul convince her to cut her real hair in my version, since she'd nearly gotten caught by Professor Gold.
Thanks to Magister Mundi Sum who reminded me that it was CORNWALL and not CROMWELL. They're just so darn similar I got mixed up. Please forgive.
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(Viola)
She'd known her head would kill her after last night, but Viola had truly thought it'd be less horrible than it was, pounding her with every little noise. She got up earlier than any normal human being thanks to her alarm clock (which only aggravated her hangover worse than it already was) and hit the showers before any of the guys could.
Going back to the dorm to leave her dirty clothes, she'd made it in time for Duke's alarm clock to ring, and cursing all the fates, she hurried out of the room to have an early breakfast down at the mess hall.
Sometime during cereal she realized that somehow word of the Illyrians invading Cornwall territory and returning unscathed (probably told by word of Toby and Andrew, and maybe even Maria) had spread, and more than a couple of guys saluted her in mock praise. Surprising enough, so did the game they'd played and the fact that she'd kissed a guy (although they never did find out WHO she'd kissed), and while some dudes were now giving her wide berth, Viola hadn't cared, it was exactly what'd happened to her at first with some of the girls at Cornwall when she'd come out officially as bi-sexual.
She just felt bad because she'd obviously just fucked up Sebastian's life.
Funny thing was that by lunch she'd avoided Duke, Olivia, and heard countless people whispering to themselves concerning her sexuality. It went from 'eeewwww, he's bi or something' to 'I heard he keeps TAMPONS in the closet' to 'Oh my God, he's our own metrosexual Beckham, how hot is that?!?' Apparently, being compared to Beckham's sexuality diffused the situation, and by lunch she was surprised to find the cheerleaders, Melody and Kelly, sitting on each side of her.
"I always wondered why your skin was so soft." Melody announced after a whole half-hour of the cheerleaders speaking about how cool they thought he was and if he wanted to go to the salon with them sometime they could go on a date afterwards—just the three of them. "What moisturizer do you use?"
She named a product she'd seen Paul use. "Nivea. Paul, my hair stylist, also helps me with that stuff." Viola's eyes widened. Alright, NOW they'd be sure she was a gay guy and run away, quickly.
"Oh, Nivea's good! I'm a Neutrogena girl myself, but my skin's not half as soft as yours." Kelly replied, chewing her chewing gum loudly, surprising Viola into shocked silence. "And you have your own stylist? How cool is that?"
"Totally cool." Melody answered as if Kelly had been expecting an answer, running perfectly manicured fingers through Viola's short tresses. "You're hairs so silky. We should so totally go to your beauty salon."
Viola just sat mutely, blushing like hell. She was quite embarrassed and unused to such blatant flirtations, and didn't know what to do, whether to stop it, or let it happen and let Sebastian enjoy the fruits of her embarrassments when he finally took his rightful place in Illyria.
"Why don't you call your stylist and get us an appointment?" Kelly wanted to know. "Do they do nails as well? Mine need some touching up."
Realizing that she would be getting Paul more clientele if she played her cards right, and that her friend deserved something good to happen to him, she cleared her throat nervously. "Actually, he works in a Beauty Spa, so they do hair, facials, nails, massages---."
"Trés cute!" Melody giggled, moving closer towards her. "I'm in need of a massage! I'm so tense!"
"Cheering practice is hell." Kelly agreed, shaking her pompoms for good measure.
"I'm so full of knots." Melody complained.
"I can give you a back rub if you want." As soon as those words were out of her words, Viola knew that she'd said the wrong thing. She hadn't meant anything by it, she was used to giving massages to Yvonne, Kia (and even Justin while they'd been going out) after soccer practice, so when she'd heard Melody complaining about knots she'd offered. But seeing the looks the girls sent each other, she was about to retract that offer immediately.
"You know how to massage?" Melody purred.
"Uh, yeah." Viola nodded, not realizing that every eye in the mess hall was on her table. The guys assessing Sebastian, all confused because although news of his 'homosexual kiss' had filled the halls, he seemed to be even more in demand with the girls than before. And the girls, well, they were just watching. "I learnt some."
"Lucky me." Melody gave Viola her back, and when the other girl reluctantly placed her hands on her shoulders, beginning to massage her, the cheerleader closed her eyes suddenly, biting her lip. "That's, uh, actually, quite good." She managed out in a groan some moments later.
"Really?" Kelly gasped, getting up in surprise. "It's good?"
Melody nodded wordlessly, tilting her head to the side as Viola worked on a particularly hard knot. "Oh god that feels good!"
"You know, I read in Vogue that David Beckham lives on massages." Kelly offered up. "Sebastian, when you're finished with Mel-Mel can you give me a backrub?"
"Sure." Viola nodded to keep the peace. "But you know, I'm nothing compared to the guys at Hair Heaven. They have these nice massage rooms where they lay you out naked on these comfortable tables and lay a towel over the 'naughty bits'" she chuckled at Paul's favorite way of calling those parts "and rub oil all over your body while you listen to soothing oriental music…"
"Oh god…" Melody moaned louder, eyes closed, catching the attention of more students.
Viola, suddenly realizing that her description of the place could also be seen as seduction in verbal form, decided it was best for her to just shut up and continue with the backrub.
"Dude." Someone to her behind her whispered. "If I'd known chicks digged those weird kind of guys I'd have--."
"Sebastian!"
Jerking away from Melody and towards the sound of that voice, Viola came face to face with a disgruntled Olivia Lennox. "'Livie!" She cried out, remembering to keep her smile friendly but neutral at the same time. "How's the hangover?"
The blonde blushed at the spontaneous pet name. "I—my head is killing me actually."
"Hang over?" Kelly asked, raising an eyebrow at Olivia in distaste. "You were at the party at Cornwall with Sebastian?"
Melody turned from where she was sitting with Sebastian. "Excuse me?" She snapped. "Say it isn't so."
Olivia opened her mouth to snap right back at them.
Viola quickly stood up. "Now, now, pretty ladies, don't frown—you'll get premature wrinkles." That shut up the cheerleaders immediately. "And yes, Livie—Olivia—and I met up at the party. Just like I'm sure you two met up with a lot of guys last night here in Illyria."
The cheerleaders frowned darker, but kept their peace.
She turned to Olivia. "You know, I'm sure Duke must have something for hangovers. I would ask him for one myself—but I've been way too busy today. Haven't seen him since I woke up actually."
Yes, remember, you're supposed to be hooking Olivia and Duke together. Kisses be damned. You gave your word, and Duke kept his—you're first stringer aren't you? So, you're helping him with Olivia!
Olivia smiled. "I got some thing from Maria, don't worry."
"Oh." Viola was at a loss for words.
Thankfully, Kelly wasn't. Turning to Viola, she smiled prettily. "Well, Mel-Mel and I have cheerleading practice, so we have to go now."
"Yeah." Melody stood, both girls flanking Viola on each side, each grabbing hold of part of her shirt teasingly. "Remember to call your place for that appointment." She leaned forwards and planted a kiss on a blushing Viola's cheek.
"And remember, you owe me a backrub." Kelly interjected, kissing Viola's other cheek. "Come over to Mel-Mel's and my dorm any night. I'm sure I can find some massage oil and oriental music. I'll even strip for you."
Viola gulped loudly.
The girls giggled and after giving Olivia another glare, sauntered off towards the field to practice.
"Appointment?" Olivia asked with a raised eyebrow.
"We're going to the beauty salon together." Viola replied weakly with a shrug.
"Ookay." The blonde shook her head before motioning towards Viola's untouched tray of food. "On a diet as well?"
"Nah." Blushing darkly, Viola sat down and took a large bite out of her apple just for the heck of it, speaking through her chews. "I just didn't get the chance to sit down before those two accosted me."
Giggling at the appropriate wording for Melody and Kelly's actions, Olivia sat down as well. "So…"
"So…" Viola echoed.
"Do you remember anything of what happened last night?" Olivia suddenly asked, blushing darkly. "Because, I don't remember much. Did I do anything stupid? Embarrass myself or something?"
Thank you God! Viola could just hear the Angels singing the Hallelujah chorus somewhere up yonder. You're finally giving me a break!
Schooling her features to pure innocence, she blinked. "Well, I can't remember much really. I think it's the alcohol. The last thing I remember was making out with Helen in the game last night and from there everything is real blurry."
"Oh." There was an odd sound in her voice, and when Olivia looked up she was smiling…forcefully?
Just then Viola noticed something out of the corner of her eye and turned to see Duke watching them, face a blank slate. She winced. From what she knew of Duke, his face being blank was never a good sign.
"Yo, Duke my man!" She called out a little too loud, gathering the attention of the whole mess hall again. Wincing slightly, she returned to pretending to be the boisterous Sebastian everyone had come to expect. "Olivia and I were just talking about you!" Yes, make him realize that you're still trying to hook them up. Maybe he won't totally kick your ASS if he realizes that the deal hasn't changed. "You have something for a hangover? Olivia's suffering from it badly."
Instead of smiling boyishly, rubbing the back of his head, and saying he'd get his 'miracle hangover cure' he'd bragged about some days later, Duke only scowled.
Oh SHIT. Viola was starting to get hysterical. He's still pissed! I'm getting my ass kicked. SOOOO kicked!
"Yeah." Olivia nodded. "And we were talking about the party last night."
Duke's scowl turned nearly feral.
"And how neither of us remember what happened." Viola was grasping at straws, and when she saw Duke's eyebrows rise in surprise, she thanked every deity she knew and continued on that line, hoping that this was what would keep the bigger, buffer guy from hurting her. "All I remember is going at it with Helen and then from there I don't really remember anything."
Duke was silent as he stood there in front of them, holding his books against him awkwardly. "So…" He said after a long period of uncomfortable silence. "You two don't remember anything?"
"It would seem so." Olivia muttered bitterly.
"Why?" Viola asked with the most innocent expression she could muster. "Did something interesting happen? Or embarrassing?" She pretended to look mortified. "Dude, I've been known to be a spaz when I'm drunk…my sis won't go to parties with me out of fear of how I'll embarrass her." Which was true since the real Sebastian was a complete idiot when drunk.
"No—no." Duke shook his head rapidly, blushing slightly. "Nothing out of the ordinary happened, man. We all just played some games and then Olivia collapsed and we came back here. That's all. Yep. That's all that happened. Everything."
Viola raised her eyebrow. Duke had just uttered a purely 'Sebastian' babble…something she did whenever she let something slip, or nearly slipped some information when caught off guard.
Olivia didn't seem to notice this, because she was busy pouting darkly for some reason or the other.
The silence that fell over them was pure awkwardness. "Sooo, Duke, you came over to get me?"
"Huh? Me? Get you? Me?" Was Duke blushing?
Viola raised an eyebrow suspiciously at his weird behavior, then again, whenever he was around Olivia he acted like a total spaz. "Yeah. You know. For our uno-a-uno practice? I know I made it to first stringer, but I still wanna try and get that stupid twirl and kick thingy you were trying to teach me."
"Uno-a-uno…" Duke gulped, beginning to sweat.
"Dude, I think you should go see the school nurse." Viola replied, getting up and placing a hand on Duke's sweaty forehead, concentrating on trying to figure out if he had a fever, and never realizing how he gulped loudly and jumped at her touch. "You might have a fever—but then again—my hands are always cold."
"Oh god, your hair looks awful."
Jumping, Viola nearly reached for her phone at that voice, but realizing that it was coming from behind her, she turned and blinked, surprised to see the handsome, stylishly dressed man standing behind her. "Paul?"
He waved off her greeting, picking up a lock of her hair and shaking his head in horror as he rubbed it between the pads of his thumb and finger, feeling the texture. "How could you do this to your hair? When was the last time you washed it? Honestly, what has it ever done to you to deserve this treatment?"
Smirking at his overly dramatic expression, Viola turned to her friends. "Duke, Olivia, I want you to meet my best friend from Cornwall, Paul."
Duke nodded silently.
Olivia smiled. "Hello."
Paul allowed his eyes to roam over the petite blonde, and he smiled. "Now she knows how to take care of her hair." He said as a reproach to Viola, rounding on her once more.
"Yeah, yeah, you know I let you deal with that." She shook that off. "So, what're doing here?"
"I haven't been here since I dropped you off your first day." Paul announced breezily, looking around at the guys in the mess hall. "Wanted to see how you're doing, and I can see by the looks of your hair that I was sent as an angel of mercy to save your hair from your severe neglect."
"Talking about hair and all that..." Viola turned to Paul, forgetting Olivia and Duke, who were listening in interest to this other side of 'Sebastian' that they hadn't known existed. "Melody and Kelly, two cheerleaders from here, want to book an appointment with you to have their hair done---and Kelly said something about getting her nails done as well."
Paul smiled a genuine Colgate Smile, his perfectly straight and white teeth nearly blinding as they reflected the light in the room. "Cheerleaders huh? You've been busy I see." He nudged a blushing Viola teasingly, surprising himself when that earned him a dark glare from both Olivia and Duke. The man raised an eyebrow at the obviously oblivious Viola. Hmmm…interesting development.
"Don't be stupid man." Viola grumbled.
He smirked. "Of course not, I know what your true type is." The handsome man sneaked a glance at the two blondes behind them, who were doing their best to not look like they were desperate for him to continue. Oh V, I bet you have no idea about this. You innocent, naïve bird you.
"Yes, yes, whatever." Viola shrugged that off and then turned to Duke and Olivia. "Well, I'll see you two later. I'm going to show Paul around."
Without letting them speak, she turned and ushered Paul away, rolling her eyes at him as he got a good eyeful of the men-candy in the room.
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(Olivia)
What did he mean when he said that he knew Sebastian's 'true' type?
Biting the tip of her pencil, ignoring Malcolm's attempts to get her attention, Olivia watched the back of Sebastian's head in English once more. Eunice was sick that day and so there Sebastian sat alone, looking like a handsome prince in slacks, facing the Dragon of their teacher all alone.
He's so handsome.
A sigh escaped her lips as she continued to watch him.
How is it that he could forget how we made out last night? She whined to herself, pouting royally. She'd never been so fully kissed—she'd never cum with such ferocity—and he couldn't remember! It's not fair! How do I always take one step forwards and two steps backwards with him?
That kiss had only proven to her that Sebastian Hastings was the one. No one else had ever made her feel that way with just the touch of his lips, and she knew that no matter what she was going to have him. No matter WHAT his "TRUE" type is. Her eyes hardened in determination.
Sebastian Hastings mightn't remember what transpired between them last night, mightn't realize the monumental happening had occurred, but she didn't care. She remembered, she knew that no matter what Sebastian's secret was, she was going to make him hers and only hers.
It's only a matter of time.
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(Duke)
"Dude, I've been thinking it out." Sebastian appeared from out of nowhere after class and flung his arm around Duke, causing the taller boy to stiffen immediately. "You and Olivia are really different, you know? That's a problem." He continued speaking, ignoring his nearly ridiculous popularity as all the girls giggled and waved at him as they walked down the hallway. "We need to find some common points and work on those."
How to tell Sebastian that he wasn't so interested in Olivia anymore without raising suspicions?
"And I remembered something about last night."
Duke went cold all over. This was it. Sebastian had remembered their kiss.
"You and Olivia kissed, didn't you?"
Duke didn't realize that he'd breathed out a breath of relief. "Yeah."
"So…?" Sebastian rolled his hand as they continued on, removing his arm from around Duke. "Come on Dude, this was your dream, right? Kissing Olivia? So how did it go? Were there any sparks? Fireworks?"
With you? Yeah. "Uh, we kissed man. That's all."
"That's all?" Sebastian was frowning. "Dude. You've been dying to kiss her for years and now that you have you describe it as 'that's all'?"
Shit! He was getting suspicious! "Dude, we were both drunk. I don't think that--."
"Oh, I get it." Sebastian cut in. "Alcohol inhibits, makes people clumsy and do stuff they normally wouldn't."
You have NO idea. Duke gulped, getting momentarily lost in the memory of the kiss that'd brought on his current confusing situation.
"So what you need is a sober kiss."
He blinked. "Huh?"
"We'll go on a double date man! It's perfect!" Sebastian grinned broadly. "You, me, Olivia and whoever will go out with me."
Duke raised an eyebrow. Given the fact that all the girls seemed to be drooling after Sebastian he doubted the shorter boy would have any problem finding a date.
"I'm a genius!" Sebastian smirked, pounding his puffed chest with his closed fist in pride. "I'll get us a reservation for a nice romantic restaurant, then we'll see a movie, then we'll go out dancing before calling it a night!" He snickered mischievously as he elbowed Duke in he ribs. "Who knows? You might get to see the inside of Olivia's room!"
Duke knew that there was a time for everything, and that this was definitely not the time for the question that'd been bugging him ever since that morning, but he blurted it out rapidly before he even knew what was coming out of his mouth. "What did your friend mean when he said that he knew your true type?"
Did Sebastian like guys?
Sebastian froze and turned to look at Duke with a deer-caught-in-headlights expression. "Paul? Well, uh?" He cleared his throat and looked away, scratching the back of his head nervously. "Yes, well, yeah, ahuh, you see, Paul…" He was looking around him frantically, waving at a couple of girls that had caught his eye and giggled at him. "Paul's known me forever and likes to think that he knows my type. That's all."
"What is your type?"
"Um…" Sebastian waved at yet another girl. "I like someone who is smart, has a good personality, great sense of humor, takes chances on what is important for that person…and looks would be a bonus." He winked at someone. "Hey pretty mama."
"Hey Sebastian!" The nameless girl giggled irritatingly.
"Maybe I'll ask her to the double date." Sebastian commented thoughtfully.
"Look, man," Duke began, trying to find a way out of this and get Sebastian's mind off of asking the girl out all at the same time. "I don't think--."
"Sebastian Hastings!" a voice screeched behind him.
Sebastian went as white as a sheet of paper.
Duke frowned, wondering who could have that affect on him.
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(Viola)
She couldn't get away. Before she could run away she felt a hand on her shoulder that twirled her around, and she came face to face with her worst nightmare.
Monique.
Viola closed her eyes. This was it. Monique would definitely see the difference between her brother and her and would tell the whole world.
She was so screwed.
"Closing your eyes won't make me go away Sebastian Hastings!" Monique growled. "You and I have to talk!"
Viola opened her eyes in surprise and then confusion. Monique was right in her face. Couldn't she tell that she wasn't Sebastian?
"And I'd prefer if it wasn't in front of all of these losers." Monique sneered at those around them before coming closer to Viola and smiling seductively in her face, playing with the string of her jacket. "Please?"
Viola blinked.
Then blinked again.
Monique didn't recognize her!
"Uh—umm." She deepened her voice more than necessary. "Duke, uh, this is my ex girlfriend, Monique. Monique, this is my best friend, Duke Orsino."
Duke nodded tersely at her.
She raised an eyebrow at him. "The 'ex' is being worked on." Turning back to Viola she smiled. "Let's go to your dorm room and talk things over?" Somehow, the way she said talk made it sound as if they were going to do anything but that. "I want you back Sebastian. And I know you realize your mistake in dumping me and want me back too."
She's as bad as Justin. Viola thought. She frowned when she remembered Duke's near refusal for the double date. Why would he do that? Did he think that she liked Olivia?
Well, it wouldn't be too far from the truth considering that she was attracted to the pretty blonde.
And if she was to be truthful, Viola's growing attraction for him wasn't a small matter either.
I have to make him think otherwise. Duke has been in love with Olivia since forever, and I'm a girl, and Sebastian is going to take back his life anyway. And Sebastian seems to like Monique for some reason. So maybe I'll be doing them both a favor. I'll help Duke get his girl and keep Monique content for Sebastian when he returns.
She'd be sure to get some karmic reward if she did this.
So assuming her best smile, she surprised them all by placing her arm around Monique's waist. "You know what? Maybe you're right and we should give it another shot."
Monique smiled brightly at her. "I knew you would say that."
"So, why don't you and I go on a double date with Duke and Olivia?"
"We haven't even talked to Olivia about--." Duke's voice was rough and tense for some reason, and a muscle in his jaw was jumping as he glared at them.
"Don't sweat it big guy." Viola clapped him on the back. "Leave it all in my hands."
For some reason Duke suddenly blushed and refused to look at her.
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"What?!?!?!?!?!" Olivia cried out during science.
Viola raised and eyebrow. She hadn't thought the blonde would react so strongly to the question. She'd randomly announced, during another dissection, that her recently ex girlfriend and her had decided to try and patch their relationship back up and she'd asked Olivia if she'd wanted to double with Duke on a date.
"Why are you two getting back together?" The blonde asked, eyes wide. "I mean, didn't you say that things were completely over between you two?"
"Yeah, but Monique has really shown some effort into wanting this relationship to work." Viola announced, trying to keep her eyes off of the dissected frog. "I mean, she's come here how many times now?"
"So just because she's stalking you in Illyria you're taking her back?"
"No." Viola really didn't see what the fuss was all about. She decided to use the phrase the real Sebastian had used when she herself had asked why he would go out with Monique. "Moni mightn't be the nicest person that I know, but she does make up for it to me in other ways." Viola even tried the cheap smile, wondering if she'd pulled it off.
For some reason Olivia looked pissed. Maybe she thought Viola or "Sebastian" only saw women as sex tools.
"Sex isn't everything Sebastian." She nearly hissed, folding her arms over her chest. "And anyway, you could get it from someone much nicer than her. Someone who loves you for you." She started to blush and wouldn't meet Viola's curious gaze. "Someone like---."
Thankfully Viola had finally changed her ring tone so when her cellular interrupted whatever it was that Olivia was about to say, it was "Pushing me Away" and not "I'm a Barbie Girl". "Hello?"
"Hey baby!" A chirpy voice said on the other side of the line.
Viola forced happiness on her face and in her voice. When Monique had announced that "Sebastian" wasn't picking up his phone anymore, she'd been forced to say that she'd gotten a new phone and gave Monique her number so she wouldn't get suspicious. "Moni, baby" (that was what her brother called her, right?) "you got back to Cornwall already?"
Olivia tensed.
"Just getting there." Monique replied. "So…what were you doing?"
"I was talking to Olivia about our double date."
"I wanted some time with just the two of us." Monique's pout was audible. "We need time alone."
"And we'll have some time alone." Viola promised, wondering how long she could drag this out until the real Sebastian came back and could be 'alone' with the blonde.
"But Sebastian!"
"Monique." Viola grounded out, annoyed and frustrated with the whole situation. "I said we're going to have some time alone and we will have some time alone. But right now I want to go on the double date with Duke and Olivia. So stop whining because you're not getting your way this time in our relationship." She decided that she'd have to stand up for her brother. "If I want to see a war movie, we'll see a war movie, if I want to play soccer—or my guitar—I will, and when I want to get you alone and do whatever to and with you that I want to do, I damn well will. Do you get that?"
There was a pause. "You've never talked to me like that before."
"Yes, well, get used to it."
There was a throaty giggle. "No problem boss. I love this new aggressive side to you."
Viola blinked, surprised; who would have guessed that bossy, controlling Monique liked to be ordered about? "Um, yes, well, speak to you later baby."
"Bye." She hung up.
The brunette turned to Olivia, who for some reason, was flushed. "So, you coming with us?"
"Definitely." She replied in a strange tone.
Viola didn't know why, but something about the glint in those baby blue eyes worried her.
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Review? Huh? Please? What should happen during the double date?
