Once again I don't own anything. It all belongs to the wonderful S.M.
I'm still looking for a Beta, if any one is interested.
Chapter 2
BPOV
It was getting late and the sun was setting in the huge windows that seemed to make up the Cullen house almost entirely. As the dark rain clouds started to drift through forks I couldn't help my thoughts from drifting back to my conversation with Jacob. What if this was it? What if this really wasn't going to work out? If I kept going with this, not only could I lose my life, but I could lose everything that has ever meant anything to me. Edward. The Cullens. Charlie, I really didn't want to leave him this way. Renee. And than there was Jacob. MY Jacob.
I already knew Edward would go back to the Volturi and have them do something I couldn't bare to think about if anything happened to me. How could I let that happen after all we had been through?
I also knew that Jacob wouldn't be able to handle it either. And although Jake could be a little dramatic at times - Like the time the newborn army was out to kill me, and he kind-of manipulated me into kissing him…well, not kind-of, he did. Not that I would change it for the world. I still blush to think about it, even now laying on Edwards and my bed. I will NEVER regret that kiss. But my death would mean his death too, one way or another. I was sure of that.
Than there was my vision from that mountain top, it seemed so long ago, another lifetime. And it was another lifetime. The life that I was supposed to live. Jake, Charlie, Billy, Renee, and my other family the wolfpack, all together and happy…. It was all so far away from where I was now. Than it hit me, those two beautiful little children with silky black hair and bronze skin with Jake running after them into the woods giggling all the way. MY children, the ones I was meant to have. The ones I still could have if I just did as Jacob asked.
It had only been a few hours, but I was already missing Jake so much. Jacob was the only person I could truly be myself with. He was the only one I could confess just how much this hurts to . And Jacob was the only one I wanted comforting me.
What was inside me was hurting me, killing me. What baby would do that to it's mother? And what exactly was inside me? Carlisle said the membrane around it was too hard and thick for the sonogram to see through. All my dreams of a green eyed little boy made no sense to me now. I had to face it. This wasn't a normal pregnancy, and this was definitely not going to be a normal baby.
I couldn't do it. I finally knew this. I just couldn't take the pain. But most of all I couldn't hurt the two people I love the most. And for what, for something that wants me dead? How can that ever be right?
"Oh, holy crow!" It kicked hard, really hard leaving yet another purple mark on my stomach. I grabbed the golden bedspread covering me to stop myself from screaming. Both Edward and Rosalie were in the room in an instant. But the only person I really wanted was Jacob.
Edward looked at me with that look of alarm that I was beginning to get used to. "Bella love, are you okay?"
I wanted to scream out. I wanted to say of course I'm not okay! I have this demon in me killing me from the inside out. But I knew that would only make things worse and Edward would feel even more guilty. So I tried my best to put on a small smile, not that I was fooling anyone. "Edward, I'm okay. It was just a little kick, really." I gasped out. I was such a bad liar.
"Yeah Edward, Bella's fine. The baby is just strong, that's all." Rosalie had a big grin on her face. I really wished her dream would come true and she was the one carrying this baby - if that's what it was - with it clawing its way out of her. Then she could tell me how fine I was.
"Bella, do you want me to get Carlisle? I know this is worse than you want us to believe. You must tell us when you're in pain. Promise me you will tell us, Bella?" Edward looked so scared and tired. How could a vampire look tired? They never even needed to sleep. They couldn't sleep. Something that I loved to do. Something that had always been an escape for me.
"Yes Edward, I will." Edward sat down on the side of the bed. " Actually I need to talk to Edward alone if you don't mind Rose."
"Is that really such a good idea, Bella?" She eyed Edward warily.
"Rose…please, he would never hurt me." I knew it was going to be hard to get rid of her.
"Bella, it's not you I'm worried about." Yeah, I was finally beginning to see that.
"Rosalie, my wife want's to talk to me alone. You WILL leave!" He stood up and glared at her with menacing eyes. This was one of the few times Edward really did look scary.
Emmett must have heard all the commotion because, the next thing I knew he was standing in the doorway. "What's wrong babe?" He walked over and put his arm around Rosalie. Who was standing there, arms crossed, defiant as ever.
"Nothing. Edward is just trying to get me out of the way so he can hurt the baby."
"Babe….."Emmett said a little exasperated.
"Rose, I was the one who asked you to leave first, not Edward. And Esme is right downstairs." I didn't care that I sounded annoyed. I didn't care about anything right now, except getting this thing out of me before it really was too late.
"Fine Bella. I hope you know what you're doing." Rosalie said through clenched teeth.
Edward gave a low growl at Rosalie.
"Yeah…. Rose and I need to go hunting anyway, so we'll give you two some time alone" Emmett tried to sooth the situation, but it wasn't helping. Rosalie gave us all one of her hateful stairs as she left the room. She knew something was up.
Edward sat back down on the side of the bed and we both waited until Rosalie and Emmett were far enough away from the house not to hear.
"Edward, I don't think I can do this." My voice was barely above a whisper.
Edwards eyes shown with something I hadn't seen in awhile, hope? "Bella, please tell me you are going to allow Carlisle remove the…..fetus."
"Yes… Edward, I can't hurt the people I love like this. It isn't fair." I could feel the tears well up in my eyes. Edward took me in a gentile embrace, but moved back when he realized he was making me shiver.
"Bella, I will go get Carlisle right away so we can finally get that thing out of you." Edward started to get up.
"Edward, would you first go get Jacob. I'd like him to be here too."
Authors Note:
Thanks everyone for reading this. I've had a lot of hits and alerts, but no reviews so far. Please, if you have time to read this, you have time to review. It would mean so much to me. Love it, hate it, let me know. Thanks!
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