"Now then back to a warm hug?"
Joey remained on the couch, in shock that Zane had taken his phone. When he'd answered a few minutes ago, Seto hadn't been too happy that Joey didn't show up for their "alone time" today. In fact, it was the second time in a row that Joey had stood up the CEO, not desiring to be used up and then thrown out like so many times before.
Sighing, nerves wrecked and stomach churning; he resisted the urge to throw up. Fuck, his hands were getting clammy, his skin was flushing, and his head was aching oh so badly. A person shouldn't feel like this when they love someone. In fact, the emotions should be the complete opposite of what they are now. He should feel happy, full of joy and warm. He should feel the same way that happy boyfriends do, when they know that they have someone out there that truly cares.
Resting his forehead in the palms of his hands, Joey bent over with a dramatic sigh, and rested his elbows on his knees. It wasn't long before he began to cry. As the wretched sobs that he'd tried so hard to keep pent in coursed through his body, he thought of the man that he loved so very much.
Sometimes Joey thought that Seto loved him, mostly because Seto always told him he did…behind closed doors that is. Yeah, in front of Joey's friends it was different, and there was nothing he could do about it. At school, whenever Joey would see the trim, bombshell CEO in his skin tight leather pants, sleek dress shirts, and flattering trench coats, his heart would always flutter and crumple a bit. He knew beforehand that he'd have to deal with the harsh nicknames of mutt, trash, worthless loser, or whatever else the teen could conjure up between breaks. See, Seto didn't want anyone to know that he was actually "with Joey." However, nights at the Kaiba mansion usually began and ended on a different note. There, Seto claimed he could be himself.
Over the course of nearly three years now, Seto had attempted to convince Joey that hard-ass barrier that he kept up, had to stay in order to keep his respect. He pleaded with the boy, saying that people wouldn't understand how much he really loved his pup if he were to admit to a relationship. Most importantly he'd said that he didn't want his little brother Mokuba to know that he was gay, that his brother was too young for subjects such as same sex love.
Making love with a closeted man of course takes it tolls. Being with Seto was horrible, heartbreaking, constant, downer. While Yuugi and Yami shared kisses at the lunch table, Joey had to watch and pretend like he didn't wish for Seto to steal a kiss from him from time to time. While Ryo and Bakura held hands in gym, Joey's lover was behind his back, pointing out how horrible he was at sports and saying rude things like he should stick to what he knew, being a worthless loser.
Tonight Joey felt like that worthless loser. In fact, lower than that, because thanks to some misinformed information, Seto had just called and accused him of fucking around, just because one of his men had seen Joey leaving the riverside with Zane.
"So, you really are a fucking mutt?" Seto had accused, shouting into the phone. "You disgust me Wheeler, really you do." The use of the surname had hit Joey harder than reality itself. He knew that the surname trick was only something to get at him, because it was so petty. "How the fuck could you do this?" Seto had demanded, not allowing Joey to get another word in edgewise. He had noticed Zane's curious glances, and had wondered if he was hearing what Seto was saying. Joey had hoped he didn't, but of course now, he knows that the man had.
"I want you and your filthy fucking shit out of my mansion." The blue eyed brunet had roared. "And I don't want to see you around here again Wheeler, you are done. We are done. I hope you had fun ruining what we had you piece of shit…" That is when Zane had grabbed the phone. That is when Joey had broken.
Rocking a bit to calm his nerves, Joey was determined to stop his crying before Zane got back. Crying was for losers and for the guilty. This isn't the first time Seto had flown into a jealous rage. In fact, it was quite normal…frequent as well. No matter where Joey went, some goons from Kaiba Corp were watching him. He didn't think it was fair. If Seto loved him so much, then whey wouldn't he just say screw the rules, and have Joey as much as Joey wanted to have him? Was he not the first man Joey had ever been with physically and emotionally? Why did this have to hurt so much?
Upon hearing Zane yell a less than pleasant, "Goodbye." Joey rose from his sulking position and hastily wiped the remaining tears from his eyes with the corner of his tee-shirt. His eyes may be a little red, but if he were asked, he would lie. He would say that his eyes were red from lack of sleep, and he'd tell a corny joke or two to get the man off of his ass. Yeah, he had this all planned out.
…He wasn't expecting Zane to ask him to return to their hugging. Joey looked up at the tall, slender, smirking man, and after being passed his cell phone back, he debated.
"If you don't mind." He simply stated, refusing to let his lips tremble. "I'd like another hug."
Upon standing there the sight that Zane saw shattered his heart into a million pieces, he heard what rotten language that brunette had used before he'd taken the phone. He had seen a similar thing when his brother first started dating.
That's when he changed a little for the good actually instead of the cold stoic he was he did show more emotion. It was true that Zane and Syrus never got on during duel academy, even at home. He was always the 'big bad brother' and it was true he may of been a little harsh on the guy.
However that was only because he wanted to draw the best out of him, so the cold shoulder it was and it worked slightly he had learned especially when it came to their show down just after his return to Academy Island with the underground deck. Shortly after snapping out of his hell Kiaser their repour grew a bit but still wasn't perfect but they smiled a lot more around each other. That was till Chazz got in the way.
Zane snapped when he first saw his brother, it wasn't unknown that Chazz Princeton didn't like those that came from Slifer red dorm. And even though Syrus had went from Obelisk Blue to Ra yellow. To Chazz he was still the 'Slifer Slacker' even when they began to supposedly dating. Syrus had tried to keep it quite but the constant digs and the odd punch thrown, not even his best mate Jaden had the time since he was off in his own relation with Jesse.
Zane will /never/ forget that night it hurt a lot, he was just about packed ready to leave when his only little brother burst through the doors crying his eyes out. He looked down to see the boy he'd cared for beaten and bruised by said Princeton. All because Syrus had spent the evening revising with Jim Crocodile Cook. The bastard was so jealous he had hurt the one thing that Zane loved.
He literally saw red it was the first time that the old top duelist was violent Chazz ended up in hospital due to it. And he told Syrus to find someone that cares not just wants you alone and in private that isn't what a relationship was.
That all ran through his had upon seeing Joey he wanted to go out and batter that CEO into hospital how could you treat someone you care for like this. Quickly pacing up to the blonde he sat back down and quickly pulled Joey into his chest stroking that wheat hair. Moving his hand down the softly caresses those damp cheeks.
"Let it out Joey, just cry if you want to any man can stand tall but a true one shows his emotions." He uttered feeling a single tear fall out of his own eye quickly wiping it away.
Zane wanted to shift the focus away from that man this pain for the blonde. Raising Joey's head up still running a thumb back and forth and staring into those huge auburn eyes he leant forward resting a forehead against a forehead the teal and blonde locks mingled together to form a curtain to hide their faces.
He was just happy with keeping Joey like this close warm and comfort available. He wasn't going to move any further to anything as a kiss not unless Joey wanted it. "Your beautiful Wheeler, anyone that controls you are blind to it. Therefore should deserve to have you as theirs, let alone to treat you like an object that can be /owned/."
Joey didn't dare more. They were too close and he was too confused. The feel of Zane's forehead against his sent an instant warning though his system. He was losing control of everything. He didn't have the ability to keep it together anymore, and it scared the hell out of him.
For what seemed to be an eternity they sat, just as they were.
Zane was so close, that Joey could feel the man's breath on his cheeks. And what was this? Was Zane crying? Timidly, Joey raised a hand to feel Zane's face…fingertips coming in contact with moisture.
"No." Joey whispered to the man, who was so close yet so far away in his own thoughts. The incident with Seto must have dug up some old wound within Zane, because Joey was sure as hell it had nothing to do with him directly. He could see it in his friend's eyes. He wasn't here in the present with Joey, he was somewhere deep in the past. Somewhere in a place full of hurt and despair, thanks to Joey.
"No." He repeated with a bit of force. "C'mon man." He voice was sincere. "Zane, honesty I didn't come here to upset ya. I didn't mean for Seto to get so pissy at me and take it out on you. Me and him…," He let out a frustrated grunt. "I..I don't know. I don't know what to think. I can't keep doin' this wit him."
When Zane didn't reply, he continued, "If having me here is going to upset ya, then I'd rather not be here. I shouldn't have came. I knew how he was, and I know how he is. This…this is nothin' I swear." A small hiccup sounded from him, his words losing context. Although he was attempting to ease Zane from his own shadowed memories, he handn't stopped crying himself. Worthless.
Yet, as the tears fell he didn't feel just sad. He felt… he didn't know what he felt. No matter what it was though, he didn't want to move from their gentle position. Something fragile was in the balance and he knew if he moved he would fuck it up.
Slowly, he raised his head a bit, his red rimmed amber eyes curious, in order to sneak a peak at Zane. Droplets of tears were falling from his dark lashes, and Joey couldn't stand it. Fuck, what had he done?
Not considering the consequences, and in the heat of the moment, he pulled Zane to him, allowing the man to crumple into his embrace, his free hand stroking the soft yet spikey hair, his heart reaching out to him fully.
"I'm sorry." He whispered. "It's just like he said, it's all my fault."
Zane brought a finger up before Joey could continue. Yes it was something that hurt him but that because he hated seeing beautiful men that had a heart the size of the world abused.
"It's not your fault it's all the men out there that think its perfectly fine to treat young beautiful men like myself my brother like you. It's not right that's why am slightly teary. I just want to make you smile just lie it was about ten or so minutes ago. That was pure bliss and you looked so peaceful. I just want to bring that back."
He finally pull back removing the finger to brush it past an red ringed eye scooping the about to fall tears. His expression slowly turned back into that soft smile, sweeping that soft big floppy fringe out of the way.
He bite his lip nervously, he wanted to just lean in a kiss those trembling lips to make the pain melt away. To show just how caring he can be, how much he wanted to make Joey fell comfortable.
But those words lingered in his mind, and he saw how much that Joey cared for the man So he held off from not only indulging himself, and distracting Joey. However he did lean forward to pour a good shot of liquor and handed one to the blonde duelist. Wanting to help his nerves again because he seemed so racked with guilt and that was not what Zane wanted.
"It's my fault I invited you here to help you instead I just made your problems worse I just wanted to see you smile and make that pain melt away."
"And I don't blame you for dat." Joey interrupted, shaking his head in disapproval of the statement. "I made da choice ta come didn't I? Ya didn't drag me here. Ya didn't force me to come here, now did you?" His words were stumbling over one another and he was sounding like a goofey kid again. He couldn't help but laugh at himself, the way he stumbled and rushed over words in order to assure Zane that nothing of the sort had happened.
"Seto is a drama queen." He sighed. "I just have to figure out when I'm ready to stop takin' his bull shit and start havin' a mind of my own. Ya know, if he wasn't so sweet to me behind closed doors…" He stalled, looking up into Zane's cool eyes. "If he could jus the way you are wit your boyfriend." He drooped his shoulders a bit, the crimson returning to his cheeks. He didn't really mean to let that slip, that he'd been scoping out Zane for awhile now, watching him from a far so to say. The usually quiet dualist always stuck an interest in him. He didn't know if it was from the way he carried himself, or if it was because he secretly wished he had what Zane had.
Tilting his head to the side, he shrugged a bit. Wondering what he should do or say. He couldn't just make a rash decision at a time like this. Zane's words may be true, but how could he just get over his Seto? His stomach quivered a bit at the thought of the brooding CEO, possibly at his office right now assigning another group of goons to keep an eye on Joey. He wouldn't be shocked if the Kaiba Corp limo pulled up outside of Zane's place at any moment or lurked behind him on his way home, ready to snatch him up so he and Seto could have a "friendly talk"…usually ending in mock makeup sex that always ended up feeling cheap in the end. He sighed. Could he get a break, just one?
"Let's talk about somethin' else." He suggested hastily. "I don't wanna think about him."
Zane's face turned into something of bewilderment, had Joey been watching more than what he had seen. He remember Aster pointing it out once but thought nothing of it. Shaking his head and gave a short chuckle at the man's words stumbling.
"Joey my darling little blonde if you have been watching me, that silver haired man you've probably seen me with is certainly /not/ my boyfriend. We're old pro rivals and something of the occasional bed partner, we could never commit to each other he spends most of his time working I could never live with that. So yeah am a lonely single man."
Softly caressing that cheek, shaking his head taking deep breath really unsure on what to do. Joey had said he didn't want to talk about Seto anymore and Zane didn't want to talk about his single life anymore than any single man did.
Sighing deeply he looked Joeys auburn eyes, with honest sparkling teal eyes. Swallowing his pride his fear it all. He wanted to distract the blonde, so with his hand still gently stroking he swooped in the place a tender kiss enjoying the sweetness, before sense came back and sapping him face.
Quickly pulling away a deep crimson flowed to his cheeks. "I...I am sorry..." He stuttered out quickly making a bee line to the open porch that was out in the back garden. Mentally cursing himself for doing such a stupid and selfish act, for letting his compassion and over all lust wins the battle over his mind.
Dumbfounded, Joey replayed the last five seconds in his mind. Lips still slightly agape, he wondered if he'd imagined it all. Did Zane just kiss him, and did he, Joseph Wheeler, like it?
"Oh..." He whispered with a slightly confused grin, reality hitting him like a ton of bricks. "Wow." He didn't have words. He didn't know what to say. All he knew is that he just received a kiss from…Zane, and before he could even reply or attempt to talk about it, he bolted. Pressing a hand to the back of his neck, Joey rubbed, and hard. His face was beyond crimson now, the blush a telling sign of his thoughts.
"Zane." He whispered, his lips still warm with kiss. He looked around the room, finally realizing that he had to go and find him. There's no telling what he was thinking off to himself right now.
"Where did he go?" He asked rhetorically as he scanned the room quickly, not really sure which way his companion had fled. It had all happened so fast. First the comforting words, then the reassurance, and then…that kiss.
"He probably thinks I hate him." Joey reasoned aloud, nervousness lacing his voice. "He thinks I'm going to be mad at him because of Set-." He stopped himself. No, he couldn't say that name right now. There has been enough talk of Kaiba for one night, and he's the least of his worries. No, he had to find his friend and make sure he was alright. He had to find out what that kiss meant.
