Fast forward…

10 years later

"Will Daddy be back today?" The four-year-old's voice was filled with hope.

I sighed, scooping the bagel out of the toaster and lathering it with butter in one practiced motion. "Not today, An." Anna's eyes no longer filled with tears at this answer but she gave the same premature sigh she gave every morning. My heart broke at the dejection in the back of her blue eyes, so similar to my own, as I placed the bagel on the counter in front of her.

"Da!" Roger wailed, right on cue. This is how every morning had gone for the past five months. I wiped my buttery hands on a dishcloth and scooped him out of his high chair, bouncing him in my arms and ignoring the drool trickling down his cheek and onto my shoulder. As a mother, you got used to it.

"Come on, baby," I cooed. "Let's go watch Thomas!" At that bribe his tears dried up, forgotten. I plopped him in front of the singing trains on the TV, surrounded by piles of toys.

"You almost ready, honey?" I poked my head back into the kitchen. Anna shoved the last chunk of bagel into her mouth and nodded, dashing over to the front door to pull on her pink rain boots.

"Wait-" she paused, looking up at me with her head cocked. "Are you forgetting something?"

She looked thoughtful for a moment before realization dawned across her face. "Oh yeah!" I smiled as she pounded down the hall to the bathroom. After a moment I heard the faucet turn on and the distinctive swish swish of a toothbrush. That done she returned to again pull on her butterfly boots and I handed her the matching plastic coat.

The doorbell rang and I opened it to reveal an elderly woman with an impish smile wringing out her ponytail. "Mornin' Chloe!" she greeted cheerfully.

Her very presence brought me a feeling of relief. "How are you today, Kathy?" I smiled, stepping back to let her in.

"Wet," she hung up her raincoat with familiarity and went to go find Roger. I heard his delighted squeal and her boisterous endearments coming from the TV room. Ever since…Stephen…I'd been having Kathy come over from 8 am to 4 pm on weekdays to watch Roger, now that I had to work. It was a cheap-paying post at the local library and I was quickly realizing just how hard it is to raise two young kids on a single-mother's income.

I lifted up Anna's Barbie backpack and helped her shrug it over her shoulders then pulled on my own coat. Ducking my head to keep the rain from lashing my face too badly, I propelled Anna towards our used navy car. Inside it reeked of damp upholstery: I had left the windows open last night.

Mentally cursing at my forgetfulness, I peeled out of the driveway and made the quick drive to St. Michael's pre-school. "Have fun today!" I waved to Anna as she stepped out into the rain.

"Love you mommy!" I lived for those three words. The car door slammed shut and she was gone, reduced to a pink blur dashing towards the propped open school doors.

This time the drive was even shorter, just down the street to the library. I ran out of the car, bracing myself against the rain until I was safely inside the thick oak doors. Knocking my hood off and fluffing out my hair, I wound around the shelves of books until I reached the cluttered circulation counter.

A short stocky woman with a towering grey bee-hive hairdo (it was rumored amongst us other librarians that that was an attempt at making up height) glared at me from behind bejeweled spectacles. I glanced at the clock; I was five minutes late.

"Good morning, Pearl!" I plastered a beam on my face though inside I wanted to say screw you, Pearl.

"You're late," she grunted, glare not wavering.

"Sorry. I had to wait for Kathy-"

"Your babysitter," her tone was fiercely condescending and she gave a triumphant smirk, knowing she had struck a nerve. Gritting my teeth I walked away into the back room, not wanting to risk my job over a public argument. It was a well-known fact she had something shoved up her ass and was willing to take it out on any of her co-workers.

"Hey, Chlo!" Emma called when I hung up my coat on the rack in the corner. She was sitting at a computer, typing up new call-numbers.

She was also old (it seemed like everyone else who worked at the library was) but while Pearl seemed like the crotchety neighbor who would call the cops every time a kid walked across her lawn, Emma fit the roll of a kindly grandmother.

"How's it going, Emma?" I called back.

"Pretty good but I'm gonna' have to shelve books today. Gracie called in sick." Shelving books was an exhausting (mentally and physically) tedious task that was notorious amongst librarians. Usually we employed a teenager to do it, but if she was sick the task was left to the rest of us…

In a sudden rush of affection towards the woman who had always been good to me, I offered, "I'll do the shelving if you want."

"Are you sure?" she chewed her lip doubtfully.

"Definitely." Not giving her more time to protest, I took hold of the cart and wheeled it back to the farthermost corners of the library, penetrated by few. It was predictably deserted.

I began the slow task of unloading the books onto the shelves, settling into the process. It wasn't hard- I had learned my alphabet twenty years ago. The long work gave me time to think.

I tried to create a mental to-do list, reminding myself Anna needed new shoes and Roger was due to the doctor's for a well-visit. There were groceries to pick up, bills to take care of, mortgages to worry about…

So why did my thoughts keep drifting back to green eyes? Stephen's green eyes and mousy brown curls. The other one's green eyes and deep black hair. Stephen's lopsided smile. The other one's intense look of protectiveness. The differences between them were ten years and five months, and yet neither could be forgotten.

My mind's meanderings were interrupted by a small cough- a throat-clearing gesture- behind me.

I jumped, book I had been about to shelve clattering to the ground. Instantly a big hand bent and picked it up, placing it back on the cart. My eyes collided with a thick muscular chest and I had to crane my neck to meet the man's eyes. I gulped; green eyes.

"Yes?" I asked when he didn't say anything for a minute. He wasn't the scrawny, nerdy-types who often hung around the library. I would have thought he would be more a professional athlete than a professor with his huge build, yet his eyes still contained deep pools of intelligence.

"Chloe Saunders." he shook his head, a disbelieving smile on his face.

"Do I know you?" I squinted, sure I'd remember green eyes so similar to those of my two loves. At first I didn't notice his use of my old name, the one no one had called me by for ten years.

"You won't believe how long I've been trying to find you," he brushed a dark strand of hair out of his eyes.

Something in the way he was looking at me, or maybe it was just the tone of his voice seemed familiar. Then I knew. I knew.

Standing in front of me was Derek Souza.

Confused? Don't worry- all will be explained in the next chapter! But in the meantime…please review!