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(Jacob)
"Your not going to win. So you should really just give up now." I had to tell it to him like it is. He wasn't going to win. The little dude just need to accept that. I was not being mean or unfair. All kids need to learn not to be sore losers. I guess today was just his day.
"Nuh uh, your not gonna win. I am." He said it with such confidence. It was so sad, because he was going down.
"Yuh huh, I'm so kicking your butt right now." It was true my car was in 1st place. His was in 5th, and the 3rd lap was almost done. There was no way he'd catch up to me.
"'Ding dong'" The doorbell rang
"Hey pause the game, would ya?" I expected him to do it. But the little stinker goes and keeps playing. He passes all the other players and steals 1st place at the finish line. While my unmoving cart gets 12th also know as dead last. The score board comes up and they play the "Mario Karts" theme song. And I see Diddy Kong 1st – Donkey Kong 12th.
"You little stinker!" I say as I tackle him and start my attack of the tickles. He giggles.
"Daddy, stop." he says in between my tickles.
"Never!" I exclaim in a fake bad guy voice.
"'Ding dong'" The doorbell rings again. I stop tickling him. He smiles.
"Ha ha, now you have to stop tickling me. Cause you gotta go get the door." He mocks in a sing-song voice.
I get off him and go to answer the door. "Fine, but I'll get you later." I warn. He screeches and runs off to hide.
I open the door and see Bella standing there. She came over every so often just to see how we were doing. She tried to limit the time she came over, at my request.
It was just to hard to see her. She was just another reminder of "Her". And I already had enough of a reminder every time I looked into Jesse's chocolate brown eyes. Those eyes might have belonged to Charlie and Bella first, But to me they were always "Her's".
"Bella, what are you doing here?" I tried to sound polite, but it probably came out rudely.
"I stopped by to talk to you a bit. I hope that's okay." she explained looking apologetic.
"Uh, yeah. Sure."
"BELLA!" Jesse shouted and ran to her. She picked him up and held him in her arms. He called her 'Bella' because I didn't want him calling her grandma. Then I'd have to get into the whole mother thing. And I didn't want to, I knew I'd have to eventually but not now.
Jesse wasn't stupid. He knew he didn't have a mom, but I didn't have the heart to tell him why. I would never hurt my son like that.
I knew he felt the pain though. He was in preschool, so he saw all of his other friends get picked up by their mommies. And all he had was me.
I tried to do anything a mom would. I hugged and kissed him all the time, and I always told him I loved him. But somehow it still wasn't enough. I knew that, because I grew up without my mom. So I knew everything his little heart yearned for. Sometimes I thought of just marrying some chick so he'd have a mom. But I knew I couldn't do that. I'd be a horrible husband to her on account of my still being in love with someone else. Guess I was a lot like my father in that way, he could never marry anyone else either.
"Jesse, wow your getting so big. Almost too heavy to carry." She was joking. Jess was small, petite. He was premature at birth. But he's a little fighter. He'd get through anything.
"Daddy says, one day I'll be big and strong just like him." He said proudly. Bella smiled at me.
"Oh, I'm sure you will be." she reassured him
" I actually came over to talk to your Dad though." she said looking at Jesse them to me.
"Alright buddy, how about you go play in your room a little while so I can talk to Bella?"
"Ok daddy. Buh- bye Bella." He said giving her a little wave.
"Bye sweetheart." she waved back.
"So... What's this about?" I asked
"Well, more or less, it's about Renesmee." My heart stopped for a moment. If there was one person I never talked about it was Ness. If there was one person I never talked about with Bella, it was Ness. Why was she being brought up now?
"How, so?"
"Well you saw Charlie yesterday." Charlie looked horrible, all bruised. He took a couple bullets to the back. It was amazing, the guy didn't get shot in his spinal cord. Charlie was a lucky man, he could hardly move but it was still better than not moving.
I went by myself to the hospital during Jesse's preschool hours. I didn't want Jess to have to see him like that. So Billy and I were the only ones who went.
"Yeah I saw Charlie." I sighed "Bella can you just spit what ever your trying to say out?" It was pissing me off that she kept beating around the bush. Get to the fucking point, woman!
"Renesmee, is going to take care of Charlie." My world came crashing down.
"Of course. She comes back for Charlie. Not me or Jesse? But Charlie." I muttered. I was more than pissed I was fucking furious. This whole time I tried to tell myself it was Forks she hatted not me or Jesse. But obviously I was wrong.
It makes me sad to know that I fell in love with someone so selfish. Sad, because I'm still in love with someone who's so selfish. And I don't think my love for her will change. Just like I don't think she'll ever change either.
"Jacob, stop torturing yourself. It's not your fault or Jesse's. None of you could have changed her mind, once it was made. She's too stubborn for that. Jacob, your a great father and Renesmee, well she's a great pianist. Clearly both of you were going into different directions. And that's not your fault, it's fate's, if you believe." Bella was definitely a weird one. I think she tried to believe in fate so that one day her daughter would make sense to her. But really who knows.
"She better not hurt my son." I say. Because if Ness does any emotional damage to him. God, I don't know what I'll do.
"If I know my daughter like I think I do, she'll avoid both of you as much as possible." Bella said sadly. Great she was just going to ignore us, pretend like we don't exist. Pretend like we were never in love. Pretend that Jess wasn't her son. Basicly just like usual, except she would be around us this time.
One day I'll have to tell him about the birds and the bees. Which will then lead him to ask who made him. And that conversation will devastate me as well as him.
"Okay." I said so Bella will leave. She takes the hint and hugs me then goes.
I sit on the couch with my face in my hands.
How could the girl who brought me so much happiness bring me so much pain? I'll never know.
I remember when she told me about the pregnancy. It was the same day she broke up with me.
(Flashback)
It was September of 2006.
I was nineteen. I was a mechanic who hoped to one day own his own garage. Except it would be a specialty garage dealing with only vintage cars.
I had the most beautiful girlfriend in the world. My sweet Nessie, she was sixteen and I loved her with all my heart. Her dad hated me, but we didn't care because we loved each other.
I was working on this classic 64' white mustang. I was under the car when I saw creamy white legs wearing black converse with a white dress. The same white legs that I loved and worshiped. I got out from under the car.
I went to give her a kiss, but she turned her head away from me. I thought it might be because I was covered in oil and grease. But I saw big fat tears in my girl's beautiful chocolate brown eyes. Why was she crying? If anyone did anything to her, I swear to god I'd kill them.
"Sweetie, what's wrong?" I was worried for my baby girl.
"Something bad happened..." she couldn't even look at me when she said it.
"What honey, what happened?" I asked desperately
"I I'm..."
"Whatever it is baby just say it." She could tell me anything, I would always love her.
"Don't say that word!" she spat
"What? What word? Baby? What's wrong Nessie? Your scaring me."
"Jacob I'm pregnant."
"Oh..." I didn't know what to say. But I'd do anything for her. Was she worried I'd be upset, because I'm not. I love her. I wanted a family with her, maybe not now per say, but still.
She looked at me and scowled.
"I'm not keeping it Jacob." What?What was she going to do?
"What do you mean your not keeping it?" I asked
"Exactly what I said."
"But Nessie, we could be a family."
"I'm only sixteen. I can't have a baby. I'm in high school now. But soon I'll go to college, and not just any college, Juilliard. Do you know how long I've waited to go there? My whole life, I've dreamed of it. I'm not going to throw my life away for some baby. How is that fair?"
"Don't you love me at all anymore?" I asked not believing the words that just came out of her mouth
"Sometimes love, just isn't enough." she said simply
"Your not going to have an abortion are you?" I asked horrified. How could she do that to OUR baby?
"My dad suggested it. I'm thinking it over." Of course, this had Edward written all over it. He never liked me, so he wouldn't want me to have any ties to his daughter.
"Nessie, please don't do this." I begged
"I told you I was just thinking about it."
"Well you can't do it." I said firmly
"This is my body and I'll do whatever I feel is right."
"I'm the father I must have some rights." I said hoping I could stop her from killing our baby.
"But you don't. Not while this thing is inside of me." she stated. 'Thing' that's what she thinks. Our baby is not a thing, it's a human life. A human life we created.
"I can't believe this." I said, I felt numb.
"I can't believe you want me to keep it just because we had sex." Sex? It wasn't just sex.
"No. I want you to keep the baby. Our Baby, because we didn't just have sex. I love you, we made love, not sex. Every kiss, every touch, that was me loving you. That wasn't sex. Our love created that baby. So don't try to make this some cheap and dirty one night stand, because it's not. I never would have touched you if I didn't love you." I said sincerely.
She was crying again, she nodded her head.
"Goodbye Jacob." and she left.
(End of Flashback)
I must have said something right because several months later my son was born.
I named him Jesse it was sorta a mixture of my name and Ness'. Stupid probably, but that's what he was, a mixture of us. Our creation whether Nessie wanted to accept it or not.
Every year I hoped and dreamed that she wake up and say she missed me. That she's say she wanted to be a part of our lives. But each year my dream grew dimmer and dimmer. Now I'm at the point where I know it won't happen. But I'm glad that I have my son.
I might have bitter feelings for that woman now, but I will always be grateful to her for giving birth to my son. She brought the most amazing little person into this world. He inspires me everyday and I wouldn't trade him for the world. If she didn't want to be apart of his life that was her loss. More than it was his.
"Daddy are you okay? Why are you crying?" I didn't even realize I was crying until he said something. But sure enough I felt water running down my face.
"Everything's okay. Daddy's fine Jesse." I tried to reassure him. I just held his four year old form in my arms. He kissed my cheek, I kissed his head.
Everything was okay. Or it would be. Jesse and I could get through anything together...
Please review, you have no idea how happy I get when I see those reviews.
So review for Jesse and Jacob.
Next chapter will be in Nessie p.o.v.
