Chapter 2: The Price Paid

"This was what love meant after all: sacrifice and selflessness. It did not mean hearts and flowers and a happy ending, but the knowledge that another's well-being is more important than one's own."

- Melissa de la Cruz

OOOOOOOO

Remus awoke in the Hospital Wing of Hogwarts.

He recognised the distinctive smell immediately, having spent more time than any other student in there when he'd been younger. It had the strange effect of making him feel both ill and safe at the same time. The Hospital Wing was inexorably associated with painful, helpless days spent after a full moon and yet it was also the place where his friends' loyalty and dedication was displayed in its gentlest form. The sharp, acrid smell of healing and cleaning potions and the stark cleanness of everything was often followed by the distinct scents of his friends, detected by his sensitive lupine nose. The memories of the pain experienced in the Hospital Wing were soon overshadowed by the armfuls of chocolate and sweets that were dumped in his lap, notes set on his bedside table on the subjects he had missed in class, thoughtfully taken by boys who never took any for themselves, and the terrifying and often humourous tales filling in what he didn't remember during the full moon.

So it was with cold despair that when Remus opened his eyes he found that he was alone in his bed, the room lit by a half-full moon. For the briefest of moments he had been thrown back into his student-self by the familiar situation of waking up with the distinctive Hospital Wing smell, and had sincerely expected to see his three friends sitting by his side, waiting for him to wake up. Shoving away the deep but familiar sense of loss for the time being, he tried to recall what had happened that had brought him here.

Talking to a young boy sitting on the dais, Sirius behind the veil, Sirius looking at him, really looking at him. Sirius alive.

He sat up with a start. It was then that he realised his muscles ached and shook weakly and his head throbbed painfully. He lifted a slightly shaky hand to his forehead, momentarily distracted by the sudden pain.

"Ah, so you're finally up", Madame Pomfrey exclaimed as she bustled over from her office, her wand and a goblet full of something vile-looking already in her hands, "Reckless behaviour, Mister Lupin, I never expected something so rash and dangerous from you. I near passed away when I heard what you did".

Remus didn't even possess the presence of mind to process her concern. The only thought penetrating the pounding ache in his head was 'Sirius, Sirius alive. He's alive. Sirius is alive'.

"How is he?", he pressed earnestly, uncaring that his voice had a harsh, desperate edge to it that was rarely heard from him, "Is he alive? Is he alright?"

Before Madam Pomfrey opened her mouth, Remus was already throwing the light covers back, twisting his body so he could swing his legs off of the bed. The hope that he felt at the prospect of seeing Sirius again could not be suppressed. He had to see him now.

"Mister Lupin!", Madam Pomfrey exclaimed, appalled that he dared to try and escape her clutches when there was still healing to be done, "I really must protest! You are in no state to be out of bed and while you are in my care, and you are very much in my care, you will be brought back to health before you go gallivanting off again!"

Remus felt as if he was reverting back to his former student-state again as the Healing witch gave him a firm push so he sat against the headboard of the bed and he obeyed without another protest. Endless days spent in her care had taught him not to argue with her when it came to the healing of those in her care.

She forced the goblet into his hand and he obediently raised it to his lips. The sour, thick taste was familiar and it was only a few moments before he recognised it as Strength Replenishing Potion. That potion had saved him quite a few times in his increasingly hazardous life.

Having taken the potion as ordered, he immediately returned to his task.

"I have to see him. Is he alright?", he pressed, hardly even noticing that the headache was easing and he no longer felt weak and shaky, "Please, Madam Pomfrey, Poppy, you must understand, I have to see him for myself".

Madam Pomfrey pursed her lips tightly but at the sound of her first name her eyes softened. It was an appeal to her sense of mercy, she knew, and she recognised desperation when she saw it.

"Mister Black is alive and quite well as far as I have been able to tell", she admitted, her features softening further as she saw the crippling relief grip her patient, "And I will allow you to see him when you're feeling stronger, although I must warn you that he has not awoken yet and I do not know when he will do so".

Remus felt his heart falter and the relieved expression slip from his face. Fear and dread reared their ugly heads deep in his stomach and he knew such emotions flickered on his face because Madam Pomfrey quickly added, "It does not necesarily mean anything. I have simply decided not to wake him yet as he seems to need the rest more than anything".

Remus nodded, feeling only a little reassured by her words. The risk he had taken to retrieve Sirius from the veil was a dangerous one, fraught by despair and the unknown. Before he had stolen him back from the veil, Remus had only been able to concentrate on getting him back, giving little thought to what they might have to sacrifice to do so and thinking that whatever it was, as long as he was by Sirius' side that he could live with it. Now, he was not so sure that it would be that easy.

He knew that while Sirius slept no one may have been able to know what price either of them had to pay for returning from the veil. Few people had passed beyond the veil and returned, but those who did were changed in one way or another and did not discuss what they had experienced in their journey behind the veil. The changes though...The veil seemed to require a sacrifice from those who attempted to rescue loved ones held in its clutches. He had read of a case where it had taken a woman's eyesight and another case where it had taken a man's ability to read and write, and in both cases no amount of magic could amend the situation. It almost seemed as if the veil took something that was precious to the specific person in question, although the limitations and details of it were not clear. And Remus could now see why the people had refused to speak of their experiences. The things he had seen and felt in that room were too personal, too close to everything he had both striven for and fought against. He knew he would never tell the world what he had faced that day. The proposal of the boy with the large, sad amber eyes and gently swinging legs would be his secret, his triumph and shame until the day he died.

"Mister Lupin. Remus", Madam Pomfrey said worriedly, her hand gentle on Remus' shoulder as she woke him from thought, "If you're sure that you're feeling strong enough, you can go see him now".

Remus jumped to his feet, ignoring the way he swayed dangerously and the fierce worry which set in Madam Pomfrey's eyes.

"I am. I feel fine, just stood up too quickly", he assured her as she reached out to steady him.

"Well don't strain yourself. If you feel at all unwell sit down and call me immediately".

"I will. Just, please, I need to see him".

Her conviction seemed to break at his words and she nodded silently, leading him to the far end of the Hospital Wing where a bed was blocked from view by the hangings.

She made to open the hangings so he could pass through but hesitated.

"I feel I should warn you: there have been some remarkable changes to Mister Black", Madam Pomfrey's lips quirked as if she wanted to smile as she continued, wanting to appease the dread she could clearly see in Remus' eyes, "Not bad changes, in fact, I'd even go as far as to say that these changes are of the good sort".

She smiled tightly at him before pulling back the hangings and saying simply, "Perhaps it's better to see for yourself".

Remus stood in shock, limbs frozen, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape.

Sirius lay beneath the sheets, peacefully sleeping and silent. But he looked healthy, just as he had behind the veil. There was no drawn, waxy look to his face that he had had after Azkaban and he no longer had that sickly, unfed look to him. He was older than he had been when he'd gone to Azkaban, and he no longer had that fresh-faced young adult look to him anymore. In fact, he looked to be the same age as Remus himself, although Remus had aged before his years and had not had the fortune to have aged as gracefully as this Sirius had.

Deaf and blind to all else but the vision before him, Remus walked forward slowly, his steps unconsciously measured and placed carefully, as if he were afraid that he might disrupt the wonderful scene and find it all an illusion. The scene stayed, however, and Remus stood at Sirius' bedside, looking with wonder as the chest rose and fell slowly beneath the blankets, the face so familiar and yet so different, as if the version Remus remembered had been constantly in shadow and now he was seeing Sirius in light for the first time. He gingerly crouched down beside him, not hearing Madam Pomfrey's sharp reprimand to let Sirius rest, and brushed the back of his fingers reverently over a lightly stubbled cheek.

His heart jumped frantically when Sirius' eyelids fluttered and his body squirmed slightly, awakening from sleep. He was waking, he was alive! Remus knew he was smiling like a fool but he didn't even bother to attempt to hide it when Sirius' eyes flickered open and the clear and wonderfully familiar eyes turned to him. Remus thought he was going to burst with relief and happiness but suddenly felt his smile slip at the way Sirius frowned in confusion and recoiled slightly from his hand. Then his words – his words felt like someone had ripped his lungs from his chest; it felt like losing him all over again.

"Do I know you?"

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Le gasp! Ze Cliffhanger! But I promise not to keep you waiting too long :)

Consider this a Happy Australia Day present, all the way over from Down Under, to America, Canada, UK, and wherever else you may hail from :)

However, I feel compelled to mention that our national day is also the day that should be recognised as a mourning for all the Indigenous Australians killed by the arrival of white Europeans. So really, I take back the 'Happy Australia Day', and give you 'Depressing Mourning of Genocide Day' instead. In the way it should be recognised and not swept under the rug.

I digress. Ignore my ramblings and don't forget to review! Reviews really keep me typing away.

Love to you all!