Jack let Sam drive on the way to pick up Nathan from the daycare. The trip was made in silence. Loosely holding Sam's right hand, Jack absently ran his thumb over the back of her fingers as he stared out the window, both of them lost in their own thoughts. Sam pulled to a stop in front of the daycare.
"I'll get him," Jack said even as he opened the door.
He walked into the building, greeting Suzie at the front and asking for Nate.
She went to the playroom and Jack bowed his head, sighing deeply. He was so stupid. He just had to go off world again, didn't he?
"Daddy!"
Nate came running out of the back room, big grin plastered on his face, and threw his arms out to Jack. Jack bent down and caught him in a big hug and instantly his anger washed away. He was shocked to find himself fighting back a sob.
"Hey, buddy!" he greeted, giving his son a genuine smile, even as he fought the lump in his throat. "You have fun today?"
"Uh-huh. Mommy here too?"
"Yep. She's out in the car. Let's go, squirt."
Jack picked up his boy, nodding a quick goodbye to Suzie, and listened to Nathan ramble away nonsensically about his day all the way to the truck.
"Hi, Mommy!" Nathan waved from the backseat where Jack was buckling him in his car seat.
"Hey, baby!" Sam reached back and touched his leg. "How was your day?"
Nathan started to tell her about 'dinawours' and 'rocks' but frowned when he saw her eyes shining with unshed tears.
"Mommy okay?"
Sam pasted a big toothy smile on her face. "Mommy's fine, baby. Don't you worry."
Jack had gotten into the truck by then and Sam looked over at him to find him staring back at her intently. He'd been listening to Nate and her talking and got caught up in the normalcy of the moment. Jack leaned over, pulling her face closer to his with one hand, and kissed her chastely but with a desperate edge.
"Ewwww," was heard from the peanut gallery. Jack and Sam both smiled against each others lips and Jack put on a serious face as he turned to the back seat.
"It is not 'ewww' when I kiss your mother."
Nathan wrinkled up his nose, but said, "Okay. But jus' Mommy."
Sam laughed. "Definitely just Mommy," she affirmed, sneaking a glance at Jack.
He grinned back at her, stealing her hand and placing a kiss on her knuckles. "Wouldn't catch me kissing anybody else." he told her seriously. Looking back at Nathan, Jack added, "Well, except maybe Nate. Is it okay if I give you kisses, Nate?"
"Yep. You're kisses go," Nathan made a loud kissing smack sound.
Jack and Sam both chuckled, thankful for the levity their son provided them.
Sam threw away the take out boxes and watched Jack playing with Nathan from the kitchen doorway. To anyone else, it looked like a normal night. Jack was throwing Nathan up in the air, tickling him, and chasing him all around the living room. This was typically when Sam would warn Jack to be easy with him, otherwise Nathan's dinner might decide to make a reappearance. Instead, she watched them, holding back fresh tears when they both fell on the couch in a giggling pile, exhausted.
Sam blinked away the tears and walked to the end of the couch. Nathan lay sprawled on Jack's chest, determinedly fighting to keep his eyes open as Jack ran his finger's through the boy's hair.
"You wanna give him his bath?"
Jack raised his gaze from Nathan to her and nodded. Lifting Nathan up in the air, Jack announced, "C'mon, kiddo. Bath time."
Nate's eyes snapped open. Jack tossed his son over his shoulder, causing the boy to giggle.
"Ducky?"
"Yep. Ducky will be there."
"Pane?"
"Plane, too."
"Bot?"
"And Bart."
"K."
Jack tickled his side as he carried Nate up the stairs, Sam following behind the pair. She went into Nathan's room for some pj's while Jack took care of bath time. Giving the boys plenty of time for play, Sam busied herself with picking up stray toys and grabbing Nate's favorite pair of dinosaur pj's. When Sam went to give the pj's to Jack, she spotted the calender on Nate's wall. They were just a week away from Nathan's second birthday. Another wave of emotion washed over her when she thought about the possibility that Jack might not be there.
Jack and Nate were busy having a squirt war. Nathan armed with the water squirting Bart doll while Jack had the equally potent rubber ducky. When Nate decided Jack wasn't getting wet enough, he resorted to good old fashioned splashing. Settling things down a bit, Jack gave Nate a shampoo Mohawk and Nate retaliated by giving his Daddy a bubble beard. Jack finally declared bath time done when he himself was more than a little soaked.
Bundling Nate up in the towel, Jack quickly dried him off. Having Nate grab the top of the towel over his shoulders, he said, "K, kiddo. Go find your mom to get you in some pj's."
Nathan alerted Sam to his coming with the stamping of his little feet down the hall and she was greeted by her naked son, using his towel as nothing more than a cape.
"There's my little man. Ready for your pj's?"
"Dinowoars!"
"Of course!"
Jack trailed into the room in his own pj's and Nate turned to him triumphantly. "I toad yous, Daddy! I win."
Sam looked at Jack incredulously.
Jack shrugged, unrepentant. "I went with the Air Force ones."
"Daddy weed?"
"Yeah, kiddo. I'll read. You gotta pick out your book though."
Nate kicked his legs, trying to run to his bookshelf, even though Sam was in the middle of putting on his Pull-Up.
"Nathan, hold still for a minute, baby. Let me get you in your pj's and then you can go pick a book."
Nate sighed dramatically, lifting his arms in the air so Sam could put his shirt on.
"Done?"
"No, I'm not done! You still need your pants, Mister."
Sam tickled his sides, making him giggle and squirm. Patting his butt once his pants were in place, she said, "Now you can go get your book."
Nate ran over to his bookshelf and eyed it seriously. "Bofe weed?"
"If you hurry up, we'll both read."
Nate quickly grabbed two books off the shelf and ran back to his bed. Jack went to lift him, but Nate pushed him away.
"I do it."
Jack raised his hands in surrender. "Okay. Okay. You're the boss."
Looking at Nate's selections, Jack couldn't help but grin. He swore that Nathan just got his sense of humor. His first book for tonight was 'Sam I Am', a present Jack had gotten cheekily for Sam to read to him. Nathan only let Sam read that book to him, no one else.
The next book was Nathan's favorite. All about dinosaurs. Nathan was obsessed with anything dinosaurs.
By the time Jack and Sam finished their books, Nathan was fighting sleep hard. Jack had no doubt which parent he took after there.
"Goodnight, Nathan."
Sam kissed his forehead and pulled the covers up, making sure he was all tucked in.
"Nigh, Mama. Wuv you."
"Love you, too, baby."
"Night, kiddo."
Nathan yawned, reaching up for a hug. Jack bent down and kissed his son's hair as he hugged him.
"Nigh, Daddy."
"I love you, Nate."
"Wuv yous, Daddy."
Jack closed the door to Nate's room and enveloped Sam in a hug, resting their foreheads together. He needed her comfort more than he was willing to admit. Jack had to believe that he was going to make it through this or he was going to lose it. He had to make them both believe that.
"Let's go to bed."
Sam made no protest and they walked down the hall together. Jack watched in silence as she changed into her night clothes and crawled into bed. They lay on their sides, facing one another.
"Jack..." Whatever she had planned to say died on her lips.
"You'll figure it out."
Her fingers drew nonsensical patterns on his chest. "How do you know?"
Jack grinned. "Because your Samantha Carter O'Neill, that's why." He stroked her cheek with his thumb. "You can do anything."
"What if I can't?"
"Not gonna happen."
"Jack!" she pleaded somewhat desperately.
He looked at her seriously before replying. "Then you'll grieve ...for a little while. And then you'll raise Nate and he'll be great, Sam. Another astro whiz adrenaline junkie who just happens to watch The Simpson's in his spare time."
Sam shook her head viciously, hot fat tears rolling out of her eyes. An uncontrollable sob broke loose in her chest and Jack closed the space between them, muffling her cries with his lips. She kissed him back fiercely, gripping his short hair in clenched fists. Jack shifted his position so that he was more or less on top of her. She pushed him back, making him rest over her on his elbows.
"No, Jack. You promise me. Promise me that if you ...if you die, you'll ascend."
"Carter..."
"No. Don't you Carter me right now. You damn well better ascend your ass and come back to me! Promise me, Jack. Please."
His brown eyes scanned over her face. Locking brown eyes with blue, he affirmed, "I promise. I'll do whatever it takes to come back to you."
She rewarded him with a watery smile. "Good."
Jack closed his eyes as she ran her thumbs through his eyebrows and across his cheeks. Turning his face into her palm, he kissed her flesh.
"I love you, Jack."
He met her eyes, both expressing more there than they ever could with words. Lowering his lips to hers, Jack kissed her tenderly and then buried his face in her neck, wrapping his arms around her body.
"I love you so much, Sam."
The desperation with which he said those words would be the only sign he showed of his fear, Sam knew. Always the strong one, her Jack.
Soft kisses ran up and down her neck and over her exposed collar bone. Rough stubble on his face tingled and sensitized her skin and long callused fingers sent shivers up her side as they grazed a path underneath her shirt. Jack kissed her lips and stared into her watery eyes.
Wiping away her tears, he softly commanded, "No more tears. Not tonight, Carter."
"Yes, sir," she whispered on a breath, even as he swept down to claim her mouth with his.
