Me: I did not expect to ever update this again.
Reborn: I expected better of you. ~smacks Tsuna to the ground~ Dame-Tsuna, it's your job to inspire your subordinates to achieve greatness, not fail at the simplest tasks.
Me: Er, since when am I- ~dodges bullet~ Okay, okay! I'm his lackey!
Tsuna: Reborn, you can't force people from a different universe to follow your whims!
Reborn: ~presses gun to my head~ Oh, but I can.
Me: ~weighing chances of escaping, looks at readers~ I'd like to thank the following people, because I'm more than a little late to the replies (I won't be making a habit of this):
LaughterGirl: I'm kinda baffled by the fact that people are still reviewing this measly thing so long after the first chapter, but I applaud your optimism.
pinkus-pyon: Many thanks for the encouragement!
AriennaNatalitha: Isn't it? At first, I was going to have the Ninth force them to be there to strengthen bonds with the Varia. Then I realized that's been attempted before, and the premise ultimately sucks. And yeah, Xanxus gets a non-Levi stalker. ~laughs~ Reborn's always pulling the strings in fanfiction, so it's nice to see him be a victim. Oh, stop it. ~blushes and grins~ I'm glad that I can get even a single reviewer like you over ten "Great story!" comments. And you would be correct in assuming Squalo would play a strong role in all of this; all of the Varia will be show-cased, but I've got plans for Squalo. I hope you stay tuned to figure out his role in all of this.
meglepetes: I honestly was not expecting anybody to actually find that funny. I'm shocked and pleased.
Azalie-Kauriu: ~blush~ Thank you. I hope I stay on your alert list.
W.QuillToolazytosignin (Haha, getting this thing to say your name pissed me off. ~brittle smile~): Yeah. ~laughs~ Originally, he was going to be in on it, but somehow, it turned into Reborn being a victim too, which works out, considering he's never exactly been a fan of any of the Varia. I think my subconscious wanted revenge for him being such a bastard here.
Reborn: ~knocks me out with the butt of his gun~ You and Dame-Tsuna are being far too mouthy. ~turns to Tsuna with glint in eyes~
Tsuna: HIE!
Disclaimer... I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn! If I did, I wouldn't have ended the series so soon.
*How Did It Become Like This?*
"VOI! BEL, YOU ARE DEAD!"
Tsuna jolted awake, looking around wildly for the source of loudness. When he took in the Western-style room and heard familiar voices taunting each other as several expensive, fragile things met their end, he buried his face in his pillow and flopped back on the bed with a groan. It hadn't been a dream!
He looked up when he noticed that the comfortable weight of Reborn resting against him could no longer be felt. As he dragged himself out of bed, he saw the baby's bags opened haphazardly and took note of the emptiness of the suitcase which usually held Reborn's communication equipment.
A buzzing sound drew his attention to the window, and he promptly let out a shriek. His tutor's face was covered bugs again! Although... He peered at the infant. It looked like he had his computer in his lap as well, though he couldn't say for sure.
"Are you telling me that any and all secure flights from Italy to Japan have been effectively grounded?" his tutor growled.
A collective buzz answered him. Reborn gave a 'tch' before dismissing the insects and closing his laptop. He hopped down from the open window to stand on top of the room's coffee table and gave an irritable sigh that Tsuna usually wasn't privy to hearing.
The boy's eyes clouded with concern. If Reborn was too irritated to even hide his emotions from him, then he guessed the hitman had exhausted all of the sources he could immediately get a hold of in an attempt to get them back home and was unsuccessful. Which was a problem because Reborn doesn't tolerate anything that's not successful even being associated with him.
"Tch, let's go get something to eat. I'm in a bad mood, and I need food," ordered Reborn, leaping onto his student's head to save him the effort of walking.
The only reply he got was a quiet 'yes' as they made their way out the room and down the stairs. There wasn't a single threat of getting lost–not that Tsuna was inclined to anyways–thanks to the sounds of chaos echoing from what could only be either the living room or dining area–nowhere else could have that many expensive things constantly being shattered.
Turning the corner, Tsuna barely managed to dodge something large thrown at him. He stared at Squalo picking himself up off the floor, swearing at what most would consider a normal volume, but was probably a mutter for the loud shark.
The silver-haired man glared at him when he caught the teen staring. "Voi! What the hell are you looking at, brat?"
"Hie!" Tsuna jumped and hit his back against the wall. "I-I was just surprised to see that it was you that got thrown!"
He looked at Tsuna like he was an idiot. "And why the hell does that surprise you?" He was under no illusion that the Varia came off as anything other than violent, psychotic, childish bastards.
"W-Well, I just was expecting it to be Levi..." said Tsuna, twiddling his fingers. "Not that you look like Levi or anything!" he quickly added. "I just figured that Levi was the one that constantly got thrown, you know, since he seems like the one who..." he trailed off.
Squalo stared at him for a moment before laughing and walking back, leaving the teen staring at his back in surprise.
A no longer irritated voice brought him back to earth. "Oi, Tsuna. Let's go."
"Right..."
If Tsuna weren't used to dealing with Dino's habit of dining like Western royalty when visiting, Tsuna might have gaped at the opulence of the dining room and the multiple trays of food. As it was, he just tried to figure out which chair was closest to the exit and farthest away from the terrifying people he was staying with.
"Shi shi shi. Don't sit near me, commoner. I don't want to catch any peasant disease."
'He acts like I have fleas...'
"I refuse to acknowledge that the impostor is eating in Boss's dining room!"
'Well, it's not like I'm thrilled with this either!'
"Muu, if you pay me enough, I'll make sure to warn you when someone throws food at you."
'At least I'll only have to worry about food coming at-'
"Ah-ah~! Please don't waste all of my hardwork! Use the silverware instead."
'I should've known not to get my hopes up.'
"Voi! Trash, if you start any kind of trouble or even make any stupid comments, I'll kick your ass six ways to Monday!"
'So, it comes down to this anyway...!'
Reborn hopped off Tsuna's head into a nearby chair, waving for Tsuna to sit down. Seeing no better alternative, he took a seat and looked at the spread before him*. Directly before him was a platter piled high with some kind of cooked toast that had a sweet smell, and on one side was a large bowl of glistening strawberries with the other side showing a small bowl of what could only be whipped cream. Further down the table were plates of bacon and ham and sausage, dishes filled with biscuits & complementary marmalades, and pitchers holding fresh fruit juices.
Before his mouth could even start to water, butter knives came flying at him and forced him to duck down. He looked back up to ask whom had thrown them, only to freeze at the sight of Bel and Levi both brandishing multiple forks. At seeing his terrified expression, they both smirked. With a shriek, he shoved himself out of the chair and twirled it around to shield him. He moved not a moment too soon, the forks embedding themselves in the back of the chair.
Tsuna shivered at the close call, thanking his (usually un-)lucky stars and glaring at Reborn's approving smirk. The sound of more things breaking and a particularly loud voice shouting had him cautiously peeking around his improvised shield.
"-and what the hell gave you the stupid idea to use forks? FORKS. Show some goddamn dignity and at least use a knife, you dumbasses!" Squalo shouted as he kicked at the now prone forms of Tsuna's attackers.
He opened his mouth to thank the swordsman, only to shriek and dive back behind the chair when the man's attention turned to him without any prompting. The brunette cowered in the seat as stomping footsteps made their way to him. When they stopped, he opened his eyes and almost fainted at the steely eyes glaring into his own gold ones.
"As for you!" he yelled, despite being only inches from the teen. "This is your last warning; next time you cause trouble, I'll finish you off myself!" Tsuna could have cried.
'I didn't start anything! All I was doing was sitting here!'
An undisguised snort drew his gaze to the suit-clad baby that had the gall to call himself a tutor, his smug gaze mocking him without words.
"AND ANOTHER THING," Squalo practically screamed, snapping Tsuna's attention back to him, "DON'T FUCKING USE 200-YEAR-OLD FURNITURE AS A SHIELD FROM DAMN SILVERWARE!" He grabbed chocolate hair and yanked the boy's face inches from his, eyes narrowed to slits. "Got it?" he growled.
Terrified, the poor boy could barely nod through his shivering, but he managed out a shrill 'yes' that the long-haired man deemed good enough. He let go of him and proceeded back to his own seat calmly to continue eating. Tsuna could only stare after him in fearful bewilderment, not understanding the man at all.
'What have I gotten myself into?!'
After breakfast had settled down considerably, without Bel's antagonizing and Levi's hostility making everyone tenser, Tsuna asked Reborn about everyone back home. He tried to ignore the way the Varia were paying attention to them.
The hitman hummed as he gathered his thoughts. "I told Maman that we were traveling for your lessons and wanted to surprise Iemitsu with a visit, so she wasn't to tell anyone we were here, not even your Guardians."
Tsuna blinked. "Wait, is Dad being kept out of the loop too?" At Reborn's nod, his confusion grew. "Why?"
A snort from across the table drew the brunette's attention to their hosts, whom all had very flat looks on their faces. Bel smirked at his questioning gaze. "The lion doesn't want others playing with his cub," he sang.
It was Tsuna's turn to cast a deadpan stare at everyone. "Dad doesn't want me around mafioso. Right," he said flatly.
Reborn smacked him over the head and settled on the table. "Believe it or not, Iemitsu's got issues with you getting directly involved with the mafia. Especially the seedier aspects of the mafia."
"Tell me about it," Squalo groaned, leaning his head back as if pained by a sudden memory. "The bastard bragged about his "adorable" family from dawn 'til dusk, telling stories about you every chance he got, squealing at letters he got from his wife, showing off thousands of photos," he shuddered at the memory.
The teen wasn't much better, horrified at how embarrassing his father was, even in the mafia underworld.
"But," the man continued, "Getting actual information about you guys out of him was like pulling teeth from a shark. You were liable to get your limbs ripped off before you could even get ahold of even one. He guarded everything like it was fucking gold."
Lussuria nodded in agreement. "He was such a charmer whenever anyone wanted to act friendly, but the fastest way to get those claws out was to suggest meeting his family." He sighed dreamily. "Ah~ If only he were younger~!" His comrades shuddered and leaned away from him in disgust.
Honey eyes stared in absolute disbelief. "You've got to be joking..." he muttered.
Levi heard the words and turned to fix him with a glare. "Are you calling the Varia liars, you usurper?" he threatened, gripping his umbrella tightly.
The teen didn't notice it as he glared up at them, a fire to his eyes that startled the Varia. "You're telling me my father actually cares about me?" He stood up from his seat, hurt and anger crushing his heart. "You're saying he abandoned me and lied to me to keep me safe?" His voice was steadily rising, almost a yell now. "He's the one that pushed me into the mafia and sent insane assassins after me and my friends! And you're think he's some overprotective father that looks after his family?!"
"Tsuna..." Reborn started, though only halfheartedly trying to stop his student's tirade. It wasn't like he didn't understand, and his student rarely vented as it was.
"He's nothing but a liar and a deadbeat, AND I CAN'T STAND HIM!" the normally timid boy finished with a shout, shoulders heaving with the effort to hold back sobs. He felt the tears welling up in his eyes and quickly escaped into a random hall to avoid embarrassing himself more.
The dining room was quiet as the Varia stared after the boy in various states of shock. Reborn observed them for a second before he headed back towards their room. He was re-energized and ready to continue his search for a way back to Japan.
"Oi, Reborn," Viper called, making the other baby halt at the door. "Aren't you going after your student?" he asked curiously and perhaps even a little hesitantly.
He snorted. "He'll calm down eventually. I can't help him with this," Reborn started walking again, "That's Iemitsu's problem."
Lussuria hummed to himself. "Who knew that the Young Lion of the Vongola had such a bad relationship with his son?"
"Shi shi shi, his precious cub hates him. Poor lion~" the self-proclaimed prince snickered as he headed out to the garden to throw his knives at the birds.
The others also made their way out to do their own thing. All but one. Gray eyes looked in the direction the brunette had taken off, a thoughtful look to them for once.
Tsuna groaned as he once again came to a dead-end.
'It didn't look this big from the outside!'
After he'd hid away in a random study–that honestly looked more like the scene of a battle, if you asked Tsuna–to cry, away from people that'd only make fun of him, he'd inspected the scarred (and it was scarred, holy crap) room for a while, taking note of the familiar signs of some of the weapons he and his friends had faced when fighting these lunatics.
When his stomach growled, he looked at a worn clock and realized he'd been gone for hours, it already being after lunch. And it all went downhill from there.
He would swear up and down he'd covered every inch of the ground floor, but he never found the dining room again. Then, he'd headed upstairs to his and Reborn's room in hopes that he'd find a snack to tide him over until dinner or someone showed up to bring him back to the dining room.
Three hours, two floors, one dungeon, two training rooms, and a roof later, he was exhausted beyond the point of hunger and just about ready to start crying again, now for a completely different reason.
"This is all Dad's fault," he muttered to himself as he slumped in a corner to rest for a moment. His eyes started to close and he struggled to keep them open. "He's always making me messed up..." He started to doze off, chin resting on bent knees as he wrapped his arms around them.
He was unaware of the footsteps coming towards him or the figure that loomed over. "Stupid old man..."
When someone lifted him into their arms, he just curled into them, too emotionally and physically exhausted to fight whoever it was carrying him.
As he was laid on a bed, he felt something tickle his nose and wrinkled it in reaction before finally letting himself fall completely into sleep's embrace.
The muscular blonde grinned at the men as he climbed out of the car, casually straightening out his suit while waving at the first. "Afternoon, Coyote!" he nonchalantly shook the prosthetic hand before turning to the other man with a respectful air and going down on one knee. "Boss."
Timoteo smiled at the man he considered something of a son. "No need for such formality, Iemitsu. You're coming here as a favor to me, after all."
The man stood up and scratched the back of his head as he sheepishly said, "Yeah, but I'm not sure what help I'll be. That kid's never liked me, and I doubt the sentiment has improved."
"Well, if nothing else, you'll provide a distraction for my boy." He winced as an explosion rocked the grounds and windows on the third floor shattered. "And I need all the help I can get."
Iemitsu grimaced and mentally cried at the unfairness of his life.
'Ah, at least Tsuna's safe and sound in Namimori with Nana. Wish I was that lucky.'
Unknown to him, said son clenched his fist in his sleep, suddenly wanting to punch his stupid father.
*I only have a general idea of what an Italian breakfast consists of, but considering the Varia speak Japanese when they're freaking IN Italy, I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess they have a fairly multi-cultural life-style.
Confession time. I have no idea where I was going with this chapter; I had a plan of attack, to get the ball rolling and everything, and POOF! Gone.
So, if you're wondering why this seems a little aimless, yeah... My bad.
Also, Squalo. I understand him, yet I don't. I get him in his calmer moments, but his temper has always been a little weird to me, so I tend to screw up when he gets angry. If anybody could give me pointers, that'd be awesome.
As for Iemitsu... I don't think Iemitsu's a good father and he's certainly not a good person either. But he does love his son.
And does anyone know whether it's VARIA or Varia? VARIA is how the Japanese put it, but that might just be to subvert the confusion that the difference in capital letters and lower-case letters causes some. Varia seems right, since it's actually a word, but I just don't know. Can anyone tell me?
Review if you want. Favorite/Follow if you don't. But if you do review, at least give me some feedback. It can be negative, it can be positive; just... give me something.
