Pokemon Whoa!

-Demise of Jigglypuff-

by metallicwolff

Harry was frustrated. He'd been working for Professor Willow in a more permanent capacity for about a month, and everything had been going fine until his most recent request. Willow was an erratic individual, extremely brilliant, but erratic. He was often considered the 'Father of Pokemon', as he had, in his public life, promoted the sport of Pokemon more than any individual in the world. He was the most respected scientist in the study of the strange creatures that shared the world with humans. But his private life was something different altogether.

Professor Willow, secretly, was the owner of the most popular nightclub around, Pokestop. What people didn't know was that deep underground, in the basement of the nightclub, Professor Willow ran an illegal Pokemon Gym and a resturant that served Pokemon on the menu, exclusively. Pokemon had been on the endangered/protected species list since the late 80s. Considered special creatures, mostly magic, though no one could prove they were magical, they had been loved by almost everyone since the start. So it came as a shock to Harry when he found out about the true nature of his benefactor.

Always one for a quick profit, and not one to really care what the the rest of society thought of him, Harry had jumped at the chance to work for Willow. Not that he really had a choice in the matter. Willow had used his army of golem and gravelers to coerce him into agreement. He'd have capitulated anyway, but there had been no room for negotiation. And that, at least today, was pissing Harry off. Willow would contact Harry via unorthodox means, usually a captive Pokemon of some sort, and given Harry orders. It was often 'I need two dozen Pidgies for the bar, we are running low on chicken wings' or something like that. For the most part the orders were easy to fill, as Harry was a seasoned veteran Pokemon Trainer, but this recent one was a bit more difficult.

The current order was for a dozen Jigglypuff. One Jigglypuff was bad enough in the area they lived, but a dozen by one trainer was nearly impossible. Unfortunately the laws for trading Pokemon had not been passed yet, so he had to catch them all himself. At level 23, Harry could handle the request, but in the timeline given; well, he was having difficulty.

Over the past three days, Harry had slept very little. He had used all of his contacts and tracked down eleven Jigglypuff. His twelveth objective was currently playing rough with a Ratata in the field just beyond the set of shrubs he hid in. Reaching into his belt pouch, he grabbed one of his many Great Balls and prepared to throw. He had to be careful not to hit the Ratata. He had no need for the little rodent. He had plenty, and not even Willow really wanted them. He used them as food to feed the other Pokemon he held captive in his underground gym.

Stifling a yawn, he saw an opening and whipped his arm back for a throw. Giving it a little twist, the Great Ball curved out in an arch, striking the Jigglypuff right in the face. Tired as he was, Harry was spot on in his aim. The Jigglypuff struggled against the pull of the ball, as the Ratata scampered off. Harry dug into his pouch for another ball, just in case, but it was unnecessary. With a final thrash, the Jigglypuff succumbed to the ball and disappeared into the circular, portable void.

Sprinting to the ball, Harry scooped it up and jammed it into his backpack. Now that the current order was filled, he breathed a sigh of relief and headed towards the Pokestop. He had plenty to deliver besides the Jigglypuff, including a very plump Drowsy. He hoped he could persuade Willow into letting him try that for dinner. He'd never had Drowsy before and thought it might taste a bit like pork.

As he entered the Pokestop, walking without comment past the golems standing as doormen, he slipped past the ancient Asian man that acted as the maître d'. He still didn't like the way the old man looked at him when he visited the nightclub. He had never asked Willow if the old man knew what was really going on, but he suspected he did.

Giving a nod to the bartender, Harry walked behind the counter and through the curtained doorway that led to the kitchen. Continuing past the hustle and bustle of the kitchen staff, he went to the private doorway and descended the many steps to the hidden world below. Now, as a member of the staff, he had access to the area below. Once in, he found Willow watching the night's activities by himself, as usual.

Looking away from the bout, which was between a Vaporeon and an unusally strong Venamoth, Willow asked, "Did you get what I needed Harold?", insisting on calling Harry by his formal name.

Also looking away from the strange bout, which looked to be very interesting, Harry replied, "Yeah, but that was one hell of an order for one trainer is such a short time."

Standing, Willow smiled at his youthful business partner, "Of course it was, but I had no doubt you could manage it. Level 23? Quite the accomplishment, that."

"Yeah, I guess. There are many higher than I, but I do okay."

"You're entirely too modest Harold, now come, show me what you've got?"

Walking to a large table in the back of Willow's private chamber, Harry unceremoniously dumped the contents of his backpack on the table. As the table had been equipped with a lip around the perimeter, the filled Pokeballs simply rolled around, but didn't fall to the ground.

"I've got a number of others for you, aside from the twelve Jigglypuffs. I was sort of hoping we could celebrate the catch by, um…"

"You'd like to eat one of them?"

"Well, yes, I would. I caught a rotund Drowsy and I figured, since it wasn't particularly strong, we might have it for dinner."

Clapping the youth on the back, he smiled and said, "An excellent choice, and of course we can have it for dinner. You caught it, and you're my partner, you can decide what happens to it."

Clapping his hands, he called for his servant, "Meowth!"

A moment later, a unique Pokemon entered the room, "You called for me Professor?"

"Ah yes, Meowth. Please prepare this Drowsy for us this evening," picking up the appropriate ball. "I'd say as a nice roast with mixed vegatable and a light gravy."

"An excellent choice sir, will there be anything else?"

"No Meowth. That will be all. Harold and I will be in the lab. Call us when it's ready."

Nodding, the talking Meowth left the room. "I still can't believe you got your hands on him. I thought he was only a legend."

"Oh, he is legendary. And so is the greed of his former associates. It was easier than you could imagine once I tracked them down. He was a bit dejected at first, but I think he's grown to like it here. He has a certain level of freedom, and he lives very well here.

"But that is another story. Back to the table. What did you get?"

After showing Willow his captures, six Pidgies, five Ratata, two Spearow, a weak Nidoran, four Psyducks and a half-dozen Magicarp, he asked, "You mentioned a lab to Meowth, what is that?"

After dropping all but the Jigglypuff filled Pokeballs into a shute in the wall, he said, "Gather up the Jigglypuff and I will show you."

Harry had been in may places of the lower levels of the gym in the month since he'd been in business with Professor Willow, but the hallway they now walked was not one of those places. At the end of a dark corridor, Willow went through the usual biometrics to gain entry, but Harry could see that this one was different, and commented on it.

"Only I have access to this area, for now. If you continue down the path I have laid before you, you will have access as well. But not quite yet.

"Now, have you wondered why I asked for a dozen Jigglypuff all at once?"

"Sure, was was thinking about that the whole time I was catching them. What gives?"

Flipping a switch on the side of the doorway, the rooms in front of them flickered to life. It was a laboratory unlike anything Harry had ever seen, not that he'd seen many.

"What is this place?"

"As I said, this is my lab. Come, bring the Jigglypuff and I'll show you another side of my 'business'."

Following the Professor, they entered into a side room. In the middle of the room was what appeared to be a large mixing kettle, equipped with a large rotary laddel, which was attached to a motor above. Also above the mixing kettle was a strange device; part vacuum tube, part meat grinder.

"Have you ever wondered how incense is made, or what it's made of?"

"Sure, I guess," shrugged Harry.

"Well, it's one of my many inventions. It is protected under extreme copyright laws, so no one really knows what it's made of. As a matter of fact, only I know…and now you know as well. Give me the Jigglypuffs."

Wide-eyed, Harry handed the backpack over to the Professor. Stepping up on a small stepstool, the professor dumped the contents of the backpack into the glass hopper above the kettle. Shutting the lid, Willow flipped a switch and the blades started to rotate, moving the dozen Pokeballs around the glass chamber.

Stepping away from the machine, Professor Willow moved to a control panel on a desk full of such things and flipped another switch. After that switch was engaged, the blades started moving at a much faster rate, while a distinct vacuum sound could be heard. Within moments, the blades started to shred the Pokeballs and the contents into bits.

Unable to take his eyes off the process, Harry listened to the Professor as he described the process. "The balls are made of a special metal. When you grind them up and keep them moving at a high rate of speed, they become magnetized and are sucked up to the electro-magnet at the top of the vessel. The vacuum sound is sucking the ground up Jigglypuff down into the mixing bowl below.

"Once the process is complete, I will add a few minor additives to the juiced Jigglypuff, perservatives mind you, and after two hours of mixing, it can be dispensed into the incense canisters. A batch of twelve Jigglypuff will produce about three-dozen incense canisters. At the current rate of exchange, that is one expensive commodity."

Amazed and slightly sickened, Harry could only say, "I never knew."

Again, with a slap on the back that roused Harry from his thoughts, the Professor said, "Come, let's gather the other ingredients from the store room. I'll show you just how much to add. By the time we finish, that Drowsy will be just about ready."

Harry followed the mad professor into the next room. He wondered at the life he now lived; wondered if his future held a similar fate to that of the unfortunate Jigglypuffs in the mixing kettle. With a shrug, he shook of the morose and went about learning a new part of the job.