Raven 174: Thanks for the review!!! Glad to have made your mouth curl, but you thought this was the end? Nooo, this is just the beginning!

Ahsirum: I shall indeed write more. Thank thee kindly.

"Won't you sit down?" squeaked Aziraphale, leading her to a chair behind the counter. She sat imperiously.

"What is you name, my dear lady?"

She stood imperiously. And all in one moment, Aziraphale was on all fours under her high heel. "Ha!" she cried. "I ztand here, a powerful zuccubus, in ze prenzzence of a lowly cherub, and he shows no rezzpect! My name is Jardis, and no, zat Lion, Ze Witch and Ze Wardrobe woman was named after me! My useless huzzband muzzt learn manners also! Would you like to go togezzer?"

"No, madam, you misunderstand. I merely wish to sort out the facts."

Aziraphale found himself standing up. "Ah, thank you. Now, you claim to be the wife of the demon Crolwey, is that right?"

"Yez." The woman seemed dispirited at this.

"Have you come far?"

Jardis answered him with a long hard stare, which told him all.

"Ah. Well, my good lady, would it be possible for me to just leave you here for a moment?"

Jardis sank down into the old leather chair, where her make – up re – did itself.

Aziraphale flung himself into the back room, and at the telephone. He tried Crowley's home number.

"Hi, this is Anthony Crowley, I am not answering because I know it's you…"

Aziraphale tried Crowley's mobile.

"Hi, this is Anthony Crowley, don't you ever try to contact me again."

Aziraphale tried Crowley's Bentley number.

"Erm, yeah, hi, this is Anthony Crowley, get outta the way, can't get there right now."

Aziraphale tried Crowley's London flat number.

"Hello?"

"Crowley, I have been phoning you everywhere!"

"I'm flattered."

"Crowley, this no time for flippancy, you never told me you were married!"

"…"

"Hello?"

"…"

"Crowley?"

"…HOW THE HELL DID YOU FIND OUT?????!!!!!"

Aziraphale jumped away from the phone, the steam of the demonic fume practically coming through the line.

"She's here!" hissed Aziraphale, glancing back in case she was nearer than he thought.

"Agh!"

"Crowley, you have to come over!"

"Fine. I'll come and kill her."

Aziraphale sighed.

succubus, Demon who rapes people in the night :/