Disclaimer: Phaerie claims no ownership of Harry Potter and Co.
Who is writing what, yet again:
Lily Evans
Charlotte Abernathy
Helen McAllister
Giving Him a Chance
Chapter Two
Of Writing Lists and Conflicting Characteristics
Lily just wanted to work on her Potions essay that was due next week; was that too much to ask? Apparently, since her friends had dragged her back to their dorm as soon as classes were finished and were refusing to let her leave—even for dinner—until she wrote some damn pro/con list about that wanker more commonly known as James Potter.
"You agreed to write the list, so get to it already," Charlotte demanded, hovering over Lily's shoulder. Lily had been sitting at her desk in front of a blank piece of parchment while twirling her quill around in lazy circles for at least ten minutes now, but she was still clueless how to even start. She figured this problem was mostly rooted in the fact that she didn't want to write the fucking list in the first place.
Helen, who was hanging upside down off the side of Lily's four-poster, lifted her head just enough to get a peek at the parchment. "You might start with making two columns and labeling them. At least, that's what I'd do were I writing a pro/con list. 'Cause, you know, without the two categories spelled out right there at the top for me… I mean, I may as well just be writing any old list, yeah?" she drawled sarcastically, flopping back down to watch her long brown hair spill onto the stone floor.
"Well I don't want to actually write the list, now do I?" Lily returned scathingly, "So, you know, if I don't bother starting it, then—well, look at that—no ridiculous list."
"None of us are leaving this room until this is finished," Charlotte declared with finality, throwing a quick hex at the door before the other two decided to attempt an escape.
"What!" Helen exclaimed. "Lily, write the effing list already!" she wailed.
Lily whirled in her chair to regard Helen incredulously. She was just as in on this shitty mess as Charlotte was; what the hell was she complaining for? Charlotte meanwhile regarded them both coolly before muttering to Lily, "She's supposed to be meeting Seb by the lake for their own private dinner."
A smirk wormed its way across Lily's features at this news. "Really, Helen? That seems awfully romantic of Seb. Do you two have something special planned?"
"Bugger your way right out of my business and get to work, damn it!" Helen shouted, flailing her arms a bit to better emphasize her impatience. She stopped suddenly and put a hand to her head. "I feel dizzy."
"That's because all the blood is rushing to your head and you're flailing about like a madman," Lily informed her. Helen attempted a glare, but she wasn't really sure which Lily she should aim it at as she was currently seeing four or five spin around the room.
"Sit up already, will you?" Charlotte asked her concernedly. "And Lily. Start writing already. I'm getting hungry."
"But I don't know what to write!"
"James' pros and cons. Obviously," Helen reminded her. She was presently trying to pull herself back up in the bed, but with little success.
Lily rolled her eyes and turned back to the empty parchment.
"Just start listing things." Charlotte suggested. "What are James' pros? His good qualities? His redeeming characteristics?"
"He has none!" Lily exclaimed, fighting down the urge to pull at her hair in frustration.
"He does so. Stop being a blind fool already, will you?" Helen demanded just before a loud thump sounded in the dorm. Lily and Charlotte turned to see Helen sprawled on the floor groaning and cradling her head, having just rolled off the bed.
Lily shook her head and turned back toward her desk. "I can honestly think of nothing good to write about Potter."
"He's attractive," Charlotte supplied.
"No he is—"
"Don't even try to deny it," Charlotte quickly interrupted, "We had this conversation already. And it's in writing. Do we need to pull it out in order to refresh your memory?"
Lily glared a glare to end all glares. "Alright. So he's moderately attractive. But excuse me for looking just a bit deeper when considering whether or not to date a guy."
"Which is exactly why we're forcing you to write this list," Helen explained, having finally picked herself back up. "If you'd just look at James, really look at him as he is now, you'd see that he's perfect for you!"
"Precisely," Charlotte continued, "James is totally your type. You just won't admit it to yourself because of your silly pride. But we're sick of waiting for you to realize it so we're going to make you realize it."
"You two are mental," Lily declared with an incredulous look at her friends. "Potter is anything but 'my type.'"
Charlotte crossed her arms across her chest and said decisively, "We're not letting you leave here until you write that list—after which realization will finally dawn, hopefully—even if it takes all night."
"What!" Helen exclaimed frantically. "But I don't have all night! I'm meeting Seb! Lily!"
Lily held up her hands and shrugged. "Don't bitch at me! I can't do the impossible."
Helen looked like she was about to have a nervous breakdown at that point. Charlotte eyed her concernedly. "Alright, calm down. Lily, you just worry about James' cons. We'll cover the pros."
"How will that help?" Lily asked, irked that they just wouldn't drop the stupid list idea entirely.
"We'll review the lists once we're done. So then, let's get started!"
Charlotte's declaration was followed by a lengthy lack of conversation. Lily was scribbling out a list of James' cons rather aggressively, her grip on her quill tightening at an alarming rate with each giggle and snort that erupted from Charlotte and Helen, who were sitting on her bed working on their own list of James' so-called pros. Lily's quill soon snapped in half, but it was just as well since it gave her an excuse to stop writing. She couldn't really think of anything else to add to her list at the moment. Her friends finished soon after and Helen sprang up from the bed excitedly. While Helen rushed to their bathroom to check her hair and make-up, Charlotte handed their list to Lily and snatched up Lily's in turn.
James' Cons
(not restricted to simply those listed below)
As observed by Lily Evans
1. He's an arrogant prick.
2. He's a bully as well.
3. He's always pulling immature pranks with his idiot friends.
4. He somehow cheated his way to becoming Head Boy.
5. He never takes notes, never pays attention, never visits the library—yet his grades nearly match mine.
6. He practically flaunts his wealth.
7. His hair looks like a crow's nest.
8. His singing voice is absolutely horrid. Worse than the strangled cries of any dying animal that I've ever heard.
9. He's too persistent.
10. He's a two-faced liar. And a bad one at that.
11. He doesn't like me, he likes the idea of me.
12. He's a distraction.
James' Pros
Brought to you by Charlotte Abernathy
And Helen McAllister
(because Lily can only see the goblet as half empty)
1. He's hot. (Though not as hot as Sirius, as previously established due to genetics.)
2. He's Head Boy. Dumbledore vouched for him, so there has to be something there that's worthwhile.
3. His hair just looks so touchable. Don't you just want to run your fingers through it? Or put it up in a gazillion little ponytails?
4. He's nearly your academic rival. Good for intelligent conversation.
5. The rogue-ish prankster persona plus aforementioned hotness equals one delish boy.
6. He's got plenty of money, i.e. financial stability.
7. He's just your height. Well, a few inches taller, but not too much. You won't get a crick in your neck trying to snog him for extended periods of time.
8. He's an awesome Chaser. Could be a back up career should the whole Auror thing fall though for him.
9. You've been a right bitch to him, but he still likes you. Shows devotion and infallible loyalty.
10. He's always trying to impress you. It's adorable.
11. Lily Potter rolls right off the tongue. And it looks good on parchment, too.
12. He's really very sweet in his own way.
13. He's heels over head for you.
14. He makes you laugh, even though you always hold it in until you're somewhere far, far away from him.
15. You two have a definite spark.
Lily rolled her eyes multiple times during the course of reading through James' so-called pros and turned to Charlotte to tell her that their list was a load of bull only to see Charlotte rolling her eyes at Lily's list.
"This is all a load of bull, I hope you know," Charlotte commented with a dry look.
Lily snorted indignantly. "It's your list that's complete bollocks."
Charlotte waved a hand dismissively. "We'll go over these in more detail once Helen gets back tonight. I'd say we just go ahead and do it without her to get this over with already, but I don't think I'd have the patience to explain her points."
Lily sighed and let her head fall heavily onto her desk. Helen swept out of the bathroom right then and with a wide grin bid them goodbye. "I'm off. Don't wait up!"
Lily lifted her head to smirk as Helen practically skipped out of the dorm and called after her, "As your best friends, we're going to want details!"
Helen's voice rang clear from the staircase, "If you want details on tonight, then I want details of a heated snogfest with James!"
"Not fair!" Lily screeched back.
"Very fair," Charlotte cut in. "And it looks like this will have to wait until tomorrow."
"Oh, how unfortunate," Lily remarked, trying to hide her smile. "Now if you don't mind, I'm going to dinner."
"Oh no. I don't mind. I'll even join you," Charlotte offered, setting the list down and linking arms with Lily as they left the dorm.
"Goody. I hope they'll have pie tonight."
"You say that every night before dinner."
"Because every night I hope for pie. It's that hope that gets me up every morning."
"Really? 'Cause I wake up every morning in hopes that there'll be a dishy bloke waiting for me at dinner."
"A dishy bloke waiting for you with a pie."
"Ah, heaven."
