Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Kishimoto does. It would be great if I did.
Chapter Dos
(HA TAKE THAT, I STILL REMEMBER SOME `S/P\A/N\I-H-S) SPANISH) *AN: Pretend it's scribbled out, they don't allow strikethroughs, I think*
(But apparently not enough English)
I found myself standing by my favorite blonde brat. He still looks like Minato and Kushina. It was 9 am in the morning and Kakashi is obviously still not here. I find it hilarious that Kakashi is notorious in the village for being late, and it seems these three still haven't caught on.
Naruto seem a little surprised to see me… "HEY, WHO ARE YOU?" His eyes squinted at me as if he was trying to remember if he's seen me before. Well of course he has on multiple account while Kakashi and I stalk him. Sasuke and Sakura both quietly watched as they glanced at the swords on my back.
"Just a ninja spying on the village prankster, waiting for the right time to strike," I replied trying to hold back laughs. Honestly, I want to mess with these three as much as Kakashi already has, I already bought a bunch of ribbons, getting ready to decorate Minato's and Kakashi's son for the upcoming bell test.
Naruto's gaze darkened a bit. (Fuckkkkkk, just then I remembered how much hate he gets from the villagers, hopefully I managed to lighten up his mood again.)
I dramatically took out a storage scroll from my bag and released extra chakra into it to create a shroud and retrieve those ribbons from whatever dimensions they were residing in. Sasuke's hands hovered over his kunai and Sakura shrieked before she ran behind Sasuke for protection. Naruto had his hands in the position for his Shadow Clone Technique. But they didn't do anything yet.
Once the chakra smoke resided, you could see that Naruto had ribbons draped all around him. Naruto's and Sakura's jaws dropped. Sasuke just kind of stood in Uchiha shock where the only facial expression he made was eyebrows raised. (How are they so normally emotionless and apathetic yet so emotional at the same time? They're freaking paradoxes.)
After a few seconds of silence, Naruto suddenly created an outburst, "Wh-What?! Did you just prank me? That's not fair! You're older than me!"
Sakura quickly started lecturing me, "We thought you were going to attack us! You should be more responsible with younger children!"
"Damn genins, sucking the fun out of everything!" I loudly exclaimed. (Don't judge, I got bored and I don't really find genins fascinating... Even if they're going to be super powerful in the future.)
I could see Sakura's eye twitch. Sasuke seemed a bit more relaxed, but a tiny bit bewildered. Naruto on the other hand… "ARE ALL NINJAS LIKE THIS? KAKASHI IS HORRIBLE AT BEING A NINJA AND YOU, YOU'RE INSANE!" Wow, was I just roasted?
I shrugged at this, "Eh, why be a ninja if I can't have fun with it?" I could see I struck nerve in Sasuke. Oops, probably Itachi related. His eye twitched and I could see him contemplating if he should attack me or not, time to get out of here before Sasuke decides to assassinate me!
"Bye little genins! I'm going to get some breakfast alone, unless any of you guys want to come along!" I started walking away from the three. Their stomachs growled from the lack of food and I can imagine their pouting little faces wishing they ate breakfast. They listen to Kakashi so well…
I decided to walk through the market and look for Kakashi. He usually hangs around here with other Jonins up until they realized that he should be somewhere else. Other times he kind of just lingers by where he's supposed to be and wait until the people that are waiting for him goes insane. He's gotten insanely talented at it. (1)
Today morning was particularly quiet… Whispers from civilians, uncertainty in the crowd, and upon examining the market, it's a lot emptier than normal. What the fuck is going on?
Kakashi dropped from a tree in front of me still reading his book. As he did that the civilians around us noticeably flinched, "Hey Hoshi, isn't it a lovely morning?" I bet he wouldn't know even know if it was raining with that book in his hands. Once he dropped from the tree, the civilians kind of backed up a bit looking really upset.
"Kakashi… What did you do?"
Kakashi, still not looking up from his book, answered, "Not much, just educating the ignorant." One of the civilians looked super pissed. At this point, I can only assume what Kakashi tried doing.
I let out a sigh and then asked another question, "Did anyone get hurt in the process at least?"
"Not that I know of. The only person that's getting hurt is the one that was targeted." Wow, so vague, like I understood whom he was referring to. (2)
I was completely done with Kakashi so I grabbed his hand and told him, "We can talk about this on the way to Training Ground 3." As I dragged him across the market Kakashi was still reading his stupid book as if he just did absolutely nothing.
Once we finally reached the outer part of the village, I started chastising him, "C'mon Kakashi, we both know better to bother civilians. Sure they're annoying in many instances, heavily biased, and also ignorant, but there's no reason to threaten them. They're mostly harmless." (3)
Kakashi's aura quickly turned into a serious one (4), "It was about Naruto."
Oh. That made a lot of sense. Those sons of cookies. Those little fuckers. The civilians always have bothered Naruto…
"Sorry about that then, I shouldn't have lectured you on that," I apologized. Seriously, the civilians really need to fucking learn not to be so ignorant. Even civilian ninja parents tell their children to stay away from Naruto. Sure, his childhood made him the good person he is, but he could really use more friends. And in this matter, I really appreciate Shikamaru and Chouji for being there for him.
Kakashi shrugged, "It's alright, I would've probably done the same thing if you were being vague."
My left eye twitched a bit. Well it's nice to know that he knew he was being vague. Kakashi may be one of my best friends, but he could definitely be a pain in the ass... "Anyways... Kakashi, what time are you planning to get there?"
He paused for a moment, "I was thinking maybe around 10:30, I'll go to the Memorial Stone, then at 10:50, I'll watch them a bit, and once it hits 11:05, I'll pretend I've just arrived and wait for their reactions," Kakashi said thoughtfully. Oh no, it's even worse than I thought. His lateness is freaking planned out like a schedule.
"Ok then..." I glanced at the clock and it was currently 10:28 am, "So... To the Memorial Stone?"
Kakashi nodded, "To the Memorial Stone."
We quietly walked toward Training Grounds 3 as Kakashi reads and as I think about my upcoming set of missions. I'm actually quite nervous about this. The Hokage knows that I know more than I should, so together we came up with a plan. At first, he wanted to go for the direct approach, as in taking out the issues through violence. Sure Hiruzen is a peaceful man all in all, but as Hokage, he knows when it's necessary to use violence. Though my way might bit a more peaceful, but it'll include slightly traumatizing the very few friends I have, but as long as they're safe and healthy (Well, most Jonins are already mentally unhealthy...), it's definitely worth it.
Around five minutes later, we've finally reached the Memorial Stone. The good thing about it, it's outside the view of Training Grounds 3 but at the same time it's really close. The future Team 7 wouldn't be able to see us. Both Kakashi and I stood silently in front of the stone. I could see his name carved into it. I wish I could've done something more... Rin, Minato, and Kushina all died because of me. It's all my fucking fault, but hopefully I can make it up to by helping out Naruto. Making his life a bit easier. It's unfortunate really, he should've never lost his parents...
I couldn't even save all the Uchihas either... They're all dead too, and I couldn't do anything. (Before you get mad over the fact that I did nothing, you're right, I was automatically knocked unconscious, and did absolutely nothing. I should've made some type of seal that could've kept me conscious in this scenario. Should've been a psychic.)
After a while of standing quietly in front of the stone, Kakashi turned to me and asked, "Do you want mess with the kids now?"
I grinned at the thought, "Hell yes, of course I do."
Together we walked toward the direction where Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura are waiting for us.
We decided to skip out on observing these kids since we were getting pretty excited in fighting them. I honestly want to see all of this play out. It's going to be fucking hilarious. Kakashi was eye smiling the whole time as he walked with his book in hand. He then put it away and waved his hand, "Hey guys, good morning!" I also waved, but I didn't really say anything.
"IT'S YOU!" and "YOU'RE LATE!" were uttered at the same time by Naruto and Sakura when they saw both of us. I think Naruto is going to harbor some type of grudge against me for pranking him. While this thought makes me sad, it also makes me feel extremely amused. Sasuke, on the other hand, was completely quiet. Observing both of us, and sizing us up.
We both ignored the two frustrated individuals as Kakashi set up the clock, "Ok, it's set for noon." The fun's about to begin. The three kids were pretty confused at what they were supposed to do. I bet many questions were running through their tiny adorable genin heads. Kakashi gave them a moment before holding up the two bells and explaining to them on what they were supposed to do, "Here are two bells," he jingled them a bit before continuing, "Your task is to take these from me before the time's up. Those who don't have bell by noon... Gets no lunch. I'll not only tie you to one of those stumps, but my friend there and I will eat right in front of you."
A wave of realization went through the three kids about the reason why Kakashi told them not to eat breakfast. Their faces distorted into a panicked expression while Kakashi continued to explain the directions on what they were supposed to do, "You only have to get one bell. There are only two of them, so one of you will definitely be tied to the stump. And..."
Kakashi dramatically pauses for a second and then emphasized, "The person who doesn't take a bell fails. So at least one of you will be sent back to the academy." He let the last statement sink in for the trio. Then he continued his explanation, "If you want, you can use kunais or shurikens, since you won't succeed if you unless you come at me with intent to kill."
Sakura, somehow worried for our safety, quickly countered, "But you'll be in danger!"
Naruto smugly said, "Yeah you're so slow, you can't even dodge, a blackboard eraser! And your friend is definitely too insane to be able to fight properly. We'll definitely kill you!" (Jeez, if Naruto wasn't a ninja, he could roast people for a living.)
Kakashi, clearly done messing with them, retorted, "In the real world, those with no talent often bark the loudest. Well, ignore Mr. Deadlast and start when I say-" I giggled at the insult and then moved a bit away from Kakashi as Naruto charge for him. I forgot how impulsive Naruto can be... Sasuke and Sakura was a little shocked by how sudden this was.
Of course Kakashi was okay as he quickly grabbed Naruto's right arm, the one that's holding his kunai, turned him around, and pointed the kunai to the back of Naruto's head. The two seemed pretty impressed by his speed. Kakashi cooly (As in cold cool. Only Gai thinks Kakashi is cool, but he's more cold than cool.) said, " I haven't said start yet, calm down."
I rolled my eyes a bit and muttered, "He's as freaking impulsive as Kushina..."
Sakura pointed out, "What about your friend, is she going to help you out?"
"Sure, I guess, I'm mostly here to watch you guys get beaten up, but now that you mention it, I should help Kakashi," I grinned at her.
Sakura just murmured to herself, probably regretting that she said anything.
"Anyways," Kakashi brought the attention back to himself, still holding Naruto, "It seems that you're finally prepared to come at me with intent to kill. So you've finally acknowledged me?" He chuckled, "It seems like... I'm starting to like you guys," he emphasized every word.
He lets go of Naruto and then announced, "Ok let's begin! Ready... Begin." And in a flash, all three soon to be genins ran off.
Kakashi turned toward me and gave me a bell, "This way we can split up and make it a bit harder. I doubt they're really going to target you, but eventually they'll figure it out."
I nodded and then walked to a random direction as I yelled out, "Don't get murdered by genins Kakashi!"
I could hear Kakashi faintly say, "I doubt that'll happen..."
It's already been 10 minutes and I've placed multiple alarm seals around my surroundings. I'm way too lazy to keep alert on my phone. If Naruto comes by, he should be pretty easy to detect, and if Sakura should come by, she should be even easier. Not so sure how much does Sasuke know about alarm seals.
Thinking about it... I should really go find Naruto and Kakashi and watch the fight. Eh, but it's better if I stay here... Might as well create a clone for this. I placed my hands the same way Naruto does to summon a clone. (5) I'll let her do all the watching
My clone POV
HA! This is super exciting. Naruto is going to be epically defeated by my best friend Kakashi! (6)
I walked over to where they are. Hide. Then watched. Then poofed myself.
Back to my POV
I was laughing, laughing hard. Oh my kami, that was more hilarious in person than it was in both the anime and manga. Also knowing that this is pretty impossible back in my home world, makes it even more hilarious. Tears of laughter rolled down my cheeks as I held my stomach. Jeez, this may be the best moment in my whole entire secondary life.
Eventually I calmed down and started taking deep breaths... A buzz in my head went off... Someone triggered my alarm seals... I wonder who it was. I placed a genjutsu on myself and hid between the branches. I looked through the leaves and found that Sakura was running around yelling for Sasuke. Welp, there's no danger here. I'll kind of just watch her running around, screaming Bloody Mary.
I felt a bit bad for Sakura, but didn't do anything to help her. Though it does seem that Kakashi has mentally messed her up a bit. Our old bell test wasn't as mentally scarring as it was for her. Sakura kind of just collapsed and calmed down. She was still shivering of course, but better than her ear-piercing screams. After a couple of minutes, she finally got back up and ran to some direction, perhaps she went back to look for Sasuke. After she left I decided to relax and sit back. I started reflecting on the differences between this bell test and the one I took with Minato-sensei.
There are some similarities. I mean both teams had an emo one (Obviously Kakashi and Sasuke), each team had the super loud and brash one (No need to point out who), and each team had a girl (I'd like to think I'm completely different from Sakura. Well at least I hope I am). I guess each team is lead by two completely different people. Kakashi, who's laid-back in appearances, but quietly honors who he respects through his actions, also slightly more emo than the last Team 7 jonin instructor. Minato is, I guess laid back too, but you can tell he's stressed through how much he covers it, he's like a bright sun leading the way for others. I really miss him honestly, he's taught me a lot about Fuinjutsu, and I wish that I could've been able to do something about the Kyubi.
I guess there was so many ways for me to save them, but I guess I was too weak to do fucking anything. They're dead and it's already too late.
Never mind that.
Another large piercing scream that sounds vaguely like 'Sasuke' broke my depressing train of though. It must be Sakura again. Hopefully Kakashi will eventually teach her not to scream like that during missions, that kind of thing would get her freaking killed. I'll admit that she becomes pretty powerful in the future, but for now, it's just plain annoying. Hopefully she matures faster this time around, but I'm not exactly going to help out with that. You see, I'm actually more busy than you think.
Anyway, once I heard the scream, I quickly started branch hopping towards the center, because from what I've remembered, somewhere around this point is when it was closing to noon. Once it hits noon, this bell test will over and I'll get some free time to prepare for mission. Sorry for mentioning mission too much, but it's extremely important to me. I'm sure whoever's reading it is getting annoyed, so I'll stop for now.
As I headed toward the area where we all met up, I could faintly hear Naruto struggling against something, once I got to the three wooden stumps, I saw that Naruto was tied up to the middle one, and Kakashi was leaning against the one on Naruto's left look quite proud of his handiwork. Don't ask me why he has a sense of pride for tying up our sensei's son, I don't understand him, and he's my best friend.
Once I reached the branch on the edge of the forest, I jumped off and greeted Kakashi, "Hey Kakashi, having fun?"
Kakashi eye smiled and answered, "Of course I am." It's nice to know he's finding this as amusing as I did.
Naruto, looking at both of us and probably thinking he could persuade me to let him go, decided to start talking, "Kakashi's friend-san, can you please let me go? I'm sorry for calling you insane-ttebayo! You're not insane! You're uh... not insane! You're super strong!" I'm laughing in the inside, believe me. Most persuasive argument I've ever heard.
I decided to play his game and walked up to him. I took out a kunai as if I was going to cut the rope. Kakashi seemed to have no issues with this, I continued on, "You want me to cut the rope?" Naruto eagerly nodded, but afterwards, his gaze flickered to Kakashi's single bell.
"Nope, you've already been captured, and guess what?" I laughed and put the kunai back.
Naruto looking a little upset, dejectedly asked, "What."
After he said it, I took out the other bell from my belt, "Sasuke and Sakura hasn't gotten a bell either."
Naruto just kind of slumped and watched the clock tick to 12:00 pm. Once it hit the minute hand hit the 12, it started ringing as loud as Sakura can scream. I started covering my ears as I wait for the other 2 to get back. Kakashi decided to help me out somehow and covered my hands with his. (Yes, because that was helpful.) Naruto, for some reason, smiled mischievously. I can only guess why.
For 10 minutes, Kakashi and I stood next to Naruto, thankfully the alarm clock stopped ringing a long time ago. Sasuke and Sakura finally reached this point, both looking exhausted from what has happened today. They both looked at Kakashi, perhaps looking at him for some type of instructions, which Kakashi gestured toward the ground in front of Naruto. Both of them sat down.
Kakashi finally speaking, commented, "You guys look really hungry."
I just muttered under my breath, "I wonder why..."
Kakashi's eyes flickered to me before continuing to the three children in front of him, "By the way... Something about the training well..." he 'hesitated' for a moment, "Well... there's no reason for you to go back to the academy."
Naruto let out a sound of delight and you can see Sakura mentally cheering for herself. Sasuke, I think let out a sound of relief?
Sakura and Naruto got over excited and started cheering, "Then! Then! All of us..."
Kakashi gave his fake eye smile to the trio and agreed, "Yup! All three of you... Should quit as shinobi!" Then I started laughing. Like seriously, those two set themselves up for that, and the way Kakashi replied gets me every time. The shock on all three of their faces makes it even better. I'm not sure if it's directed toward my unexpected laughing or the statement that Kakashi made about their failing skills as a shinobi, but it's still hilarious.
Naruto quickly complained, "STOP LAUGHING, THIS ISN'T FUNNY! WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE SHOULD QUIT AS NINJAS!?" Naruto realizes it was probably because he failed the test, so he backtracked, "OK, OK, WE COULDN'T GET THE BELLS, BUT... WHY DO WE HAVE TO QUIT?" Fair point... If that was the point of the test
"Because all of you... are just punks who doesn't deserve to be a ninja," Kakashi indignantly said.
Sasuke, seemed extremely angry by the comment, got off the ground and charged for Kakashi the same manner Naruto did earlier today. Unfortunately for Sasuke, Kakashi easily dealt with him. In a mere second, Sasuke was on the ground with Kakashi's feet on his head, Kakashi patronizingly told Sasuke, "That's why you're a punk."
Naruto adorably defended Sasuke by yelling at Kakashi, "No! Don't step on Sasuke!"
Then Kakashi started getting into his important spiel about teamwork, eventually after bouts of confusion coming from the three in front of us, he gave the answer, "It's teamwork."
Sakura then counter argued with how there are only two bells, Kakashi countered that with how it's supposed to have them fight against each other, and then he pointed out what they did wrong teamwork wise. I don't really remember the specific words used for that whole entire part, but the most I remembered was when Kakashi gave the example, "Sakura kill Naruto! Or Sasuke dies!"
Naruto's reaction was actually kind of funny because he had that flabbergasted expression as he yelled out, "What?"
Afterwards Kakashi pointed out the Memorial Stone, "Look at the multiple names on this stone... These are ninjas that are recognized as heroes of the village."
My mood went downwards when he mentioned it. Mainly because his name's on it, and it's really a sore point. Especially since he isn't even dead...
Naruto, not knowing the special circumstances of getting his name on that stone, quickly exclaimed, "I've decided I wanted to get my name carved into that stone too!"
Kakashi's face went in an even more somber expression, "They aren't just normal heroes..."
"Oh yeah? What kind are they?"
Kakashi peered back over his shoulder with the most serious expression possible and told Naruto, "They are all heroes that died on duty." This invoked a strong sense of sadness in me. I looked at the stone and started wondering if O- I mean Insert-His-Name here, would even be accepted if everything went according to plan. We had so many good times, but even Rin's death made me really upset. Kakashi refused to talk to anyone for weeks after... that happened.
Naruto seemed to have a similar reaction as he seemed crestfallen after hearing that.
Kakashi looked back down at the memorial and said, "This is a memorial... Our best friend's name is also carved in here..."
"Protecting your teammates is the most important thing as a shinobi in this village. He...definitely had the will of fire burning strong in him," I looked at the location where his name was carved, and wondered if ever visited this stone himself after he disappeared. It honestly hurts to think about him, but I guess there's still hope.
Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke all looked taken aback by this. I bet they didn't expect us to say that.
I decided was enough emotional turmoil for the day and poked Kakashi on the arm, "Hey Kakashi, I think I should go home and prepare for my mission tomorrow..." Kakashi, with worried eyes, nodded.
I walked away before I heard him say anything else, but I'm sure he passed the three. He would've beaten himself up if Minato's son wasn't able to pass the bell test.
Once I got home, I automatically went to create more of my seals. I've invented multiple kinds, and it does help when I've programmed for my whole primary life.
/* (1) Kakashi's lateness. Ever since He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named-But-Isn't-Voldemort "died", Kakashi's been trying to find different ways to honor him. He actually told me he considered wearing goggles, which I was highly supportive of (It's too entertaining not to have that happen), but he then decided that it was ridiculous and obvious on what he's trying to do. He then kind of just settled with being highly late and giving out ridiculous reasons on why. He also visits that stone that has all the ninjas that are considered heroes' names on it. Oh yeah, it was called the Memorial Stone. I spend a lot of time there too... */
/* (2) Assumptions. Did he attack someone else? Was he referring to Naruto? Was he referring to some other ninja? How the fuck was I supposed to know. Kakashi's habit of being super vague gets really annoying, it makes me wish that emo Kakashi was back. */
(My feelings are hurt Hoshi :P ~Kakashi PS: Why is half of your diary in a different language?)
(….If you're reading this Kakashi, go to hell. It's NOT a diary. It's a series of notes.)
/* (3) So I Thought. Jeez, bullying a fucking 12 year old for 7 years is going a bit overboard. Also ignorant on their part. Isn't it obvious that Naruto is completely different from Kurama? Let's see... One's a creature of hatred because so many people have mistreated him and the other one's the human of love and determination because he's not the goddamn Kyubi. Though people should treat Kurama well too. */
/* (4) Aura. I really love this trick, it really set a mood when talking to enemies or even creating a mood when talking to fellow ninjas. You get a bunch of respect for that. I used it a lot back in the ANBU days. You can dampen your chakra with a certain emotion and then let it leak out into the air or something. Not the best description but you get the point. It's like the killing intent with Zabuza I guess.*/
/* (5) My Shadow Clones. The only reason why I mentioned how I summon my clones is because I do it a bit more different than the average ninja. I learned how to make one through the anime/manga, so I use Naruto method. It works perfectly fine, but I thought I'd just mention it. Also, I almost died trying to use it the first time. Minato-sensei was shock as fuck. "Hoshi, where did you learn it from?" He worriedly asks. I easily just kind of replied with, "Watched the jonins did it." Being older than everyone by like 20 years, it really helps when you're trying to play the genius card. (Which I'm definitely not.)
/* (6) Shadow Clone Personality. It's kind of weird that their attitudes are different from mine. Usually they're the same personality as the user... But my shadow clones are super weird... They get super hyper, and they kind of reflect on the old me more than the current me by a lot. Probably because I'm mentally messed up. Well, it helps when you're a self-loathing and useless ninja.
The True Author Notes: I wrote this while waiting for that 12 hour period. Understandable that they want to prevent spamming, but it's such a drag. Also this chapter really bothers me honestly, there wasn't any change to the story, but Kakashi's speech was a great one... and this is just an info filler, I guess.
Tips and feedbacks are appreciated!
Also if anyone has any cool science related material, feel free to share ^^ (Am I allowed to request that?)
Statistics:
Word Count: 5,109
Time Taken: Like 12 hours
Possibility of Continuation: Maybe
Possibility of Drawn version of OC: Possible
Possibility of more description: I'm not that good of a writer.
