I was glad the rain had come to a stop. The river was cold on my already frozen body, but easy to ignore. My eyes glistened with satisfied lust, and new comprehension on my raging swirls of emotions. I felt invincible with Jasper, powerful even. He didn't make me feel like a housewife, a mother, or a vampire. I could only feel happiness. One form of which I've never felt before.

I felt like a little girl at the amusement park for the first time, wanting to experience every ride, every taste of everything new and sensational. I wasn't disappointed with the first hour of my experiences. I smiled to myself and plunged under water for the third time, trying to remove every inch of dirt from my body.

Even under water I could hear Jasper's beautiful laughter, "Having a little too much fun there, Bella?" he called.

I poked only the top of my head out of the water, the water revealing my eyes as I stared into his. He arched an eyebrow at me, and the water gurgled to my laughing response. Jasper grabbed me by the waist and pulled my body out of the water and pressed me to his, "Now I'm having too much fun," I breathed into his ear.

He groaned into my hair and kissed the top of my head, "I can get used to your kind of fun."

I smiled against his neck and placed gentle kisses against his fair skin, "We really shouldn't be doing this." How many times had I said this in the past hour? Ten, maybe twenty times? And how many times did Jaspers eyes fill with childish craving? His hand ran through my hair, and gripped in a rough but gentle way. I moaned in response to his touch, simple as it was.

"I shouldn't be messing with a married woman, should I?" he asked.

I pulled my head back to look into his eyes, "Something so wrong should be illegal." I bit my bottom lip and grinned at him. "But we probably should head back to the house."

He smiled, a bit grim, and nodded, "Yes, that's probably a good idea." He sounded as reluctant as I felt.

"So," I started as I pulled myself from his grasp. "Explain to me why you aren't nervous to get home?" I know I was. With Alice being able to see the future and Edwards mind reading talent, it was a wonder neither of them had caught on and followed us into the woods.

"Alice can see the future when a choice has been made," he began, helping me out of the water and to my feet. "But she can't see something that was as spontaneous as what just happened. She might know that we planned to swim in the river, but she won't see any harm in that. Edward can read my mind, but I can keep myself distracted for the majority of the time. And if I can't keep it together, Bella, I'll need your help."

My hand was moving in fast circles, twirling my gown in an attempt to dry it, "My help? What can I do?"

"Well, I was thinking that you could use your talent - your shield - to keep Edward out?" he asked.

The gown was dry now, and I slipped it over my head, "I can try. But only in emergencies. You know Edward would know something if there was nothing going on in your head for a long period of time." I laughed.

"I know," the corners of his mouth pulled up. "But it's going to be hard to keep my mind off of you today."

"Well, there's another factor that you left out, Jasper," I said.

He raised an eyebrow.

"Jacob and Renesmee," I grinned at his confused expression. "Those two have a strange affect on Alice's visions. Remember?"

There was a mixture of relief and disappointment on his beautiful face, and I could only guess that he was unhappy with not thinking of that conclusion first. "You're right. So she probably didn't see anything at all."


It was relatively easy to pull everything off once we got home. Jasper returned to Alice, in his same quiet mood and I trailed up the stairs towards the bedroom I shared with Edward and my daughter. I took my time, realizing that the closer I was to my husband, the faster a new, more familiar feeling, dawned over me. Guilt.

I struggled to keep my breathing steady as I neared the bedroom door. Through it, I could hear Edward singing in a hushed voice to Renesmee. Her heartbeat was steady, following her sighed breathing. She was fast asleep. A big part of me was relieved for this. The guilt was already flooding my airways, nearly closing off my throat.

Once I made it to the door, I didn't hesitate to open it. Edward would hear any steadied sigh I made. By the smile in his voice, he already knew I was coming. I hoped Jasper's scent was washed off of me when Edward got to his feet and walked towards me. Then I made I huge mistake; I looked into his eyes.

If my heart hadn't already stopped beating, it would have just now. The love in his eyes, the trust, the compassion and happiness ripped me to shreds. What had I done? How could I be so horrible to this man? The man whose loved me from the very beginning, saved my life on a daily basis, gave me a beautiful daughter, made me who I am today - how could I do this to him? I was wrong in every way possible.

Choked sobs were fighting their way up, and my eyes pricked with dry tears. Edward was not a dumb man. Looking at him, I could see the understanding. Those first emotions never left his eyes, but were now joined by concern. He knew something was wrong.

"Bella?" anguish rang like church bells in his voice. He had always told me; my pain was his pain. His arms pulled me into a tight grip. "Bella, love, please tell me what's wrong. Tell me why you're hurting."

I wound my arms around him, my hands clutching his shirt for strength as I searched for the strength to pull myself together. His compassionate mood enveloped me, blanketing me with so much guilt that it hurt to breathe. How did I, even for one second, doubt my love for this man? I rested my head into the crook of his neck and breathed in his familier scent.

"I love you, Edward," I cried into his neck. "I love you so much. Please don't ever doubt that."

His body relaxed under me, and he sighed into my hair, "I know you do, Bella. I would never doubt that." He pulled away from my body and placed a hand under my chin. With such fondness that I didn't deserve, he brought his lips to mine. For someone who claimed to have no soul, he sure was pure hearted enough to make me feel like the devil. Edward deserved better than this, better than me. His lips returned to the top of my head and rested there.

"Would you tell me what's wrong, Bella?" he asked into my hair. "I want to help you."

"Please stop," I begged him, pressing my face into his shirt. "Stop being so nice to me." I'd never known kindness had such power. It was reeking havoc over my world.

Edward sighed and tightened his grip on me, "I see, love."

I stiffened, my eyes gone huge and my heart begging to pound a hole through my chest, "What?" It took work for that one word.

"Jasper?" he asked, his tone too calm. What had he heard? I couldn't answer him. It had been hard to say one word to him, how could I offer an explanation? "I'm not angry with you, Bella. But I wish you weren't naked." His voice was half amused.

I still didn't relax. What I did with Jasper was okay? As long as I wasn't naked. Edward wasn't making any sense.

"You were bathing in the river," Edward explained. I wanted to tell him that it wasn't his place to be explaining. "Jasper came along to see if you were okay, and saw you. He didn't look away either." By now, he was laughing. Laughing.

I sighed into his chest, relieved. That was a close one. "Edward?"

He looked down at me, laughter in his eyes, "Yes, love?"

"Would you like to take a shower with me?" I asked.

I didn't get an answer. Not with words, at least. Since becoming a vampire, I was hardly clumsy, and I always walked for myself. Edward never felt the need to pick me up unless it was something romantic. So tonight was one of our nights. I was suddenly thankful for our walk-in shower.

It didn't take any effort at all for Edward to lift my gown over my head, and toss it uselessly to the floor. With me still in his arms, he turned the shower onto our set temperature, then set me down. It wasn't long before he joined me, giving me perfect few of his flawless body. The water glistening in his hair and on his chest was making it hard to retain mysel to this one spot. But after my treachery, somehow, Edward seemed much more beautiful than he ever had.

No words were spoken before his lips were pressed against mine, his body crushing me to the wall. His hands explored every part of my body like he had never touched or seen it before, and I couldn't help but tremble under his touch. Jasper floated somewhere in the back of my mind, and I did my best to keep him there. I was more focused on the here and now, as my husband initiated our love making.


Okay, I know that was short, and almost pointless. But it isn't over yet. About two more chapters and this fic will be finished. Ideas are bouncing around and my head, so I'm finding the best one and sticking with it. So far, I think my general direction is great. I'll post the next chapter soon!

Oh, and something I noticed yesterday... I constantly check my Email, and I have alot of messages from ff dot net. There are alot of people who put this story in their favorites or put me on alert, and did not review. I'm not going to nag, but I am trying t pursue writing as a career, and constructive criticism and praise is very helpful. Thanks.

And I know some people are wondering "why Bella and Jasper"? Well, I am a die hard Bella and Edward fan. But part of being a good writer is to expand your options, and to challenge yourself. I love Edward as a character, and I don't like writing any kind of betrayal in his marriage, but it's something that caught my interest. My next story is a B/E. Promise.

Lady Loser.