Title: My Goddess, My Heart
Disclaimer: I have no claim on the characters of Twilight. All rights belong to Stephenie Meyer.
Rated M
AU Story
Summary: When I first caught her scent, I turned my wanting into hate. Later as my cold yet sparkling hand touched her warm flesh, sunlight streamed through the trees making her skin glow as golden as the sun. It was the day that secrets where spilled and lives changed forever. I had at last found a reason for my eternal life, someone who understood my pain.
Last Time:
Bella's POV
Renee had always told me that our kind was a dying breed. I was seven when I told her that I was alone, that there was no one out there for me. That was the first time since she had left Charlie that she cried. Only this time her tears were for me, because we both knew I was right. Due to my mortal side one day, maybe a hundred years from now, I would start to age and I would die.
My fear was that the day I died would be the end of my mother's immortal life as well, for I was afraid that her sorrow at my death would be too much. However now Renee had Phil, he was an immortal as well. He had thought that he was the last one of his kind until he met my mom. Renee had told me that the minute their skin touched a warm shock had pulsed through them, letting them know that they where meant to be together for eternity.
It was that memory that had led me back to the strange feeling I had toward Edward Cullen when he had brushed by me; but why had it happened? After all, Edward was a human - wasn't he?
Chapter 2: Savage Tortured Bliss
TaintedDarkInuShemeeko
Edward's POV
My mind was still spinning as I headed out to hunt. It was utterly unbelievable that my family had forbid me to leave. I had a feeling that Rosalie and Emmett hadn't known about Alice's talk with Carlisle and Esme. I knew that Jasper would have known and would have sided with Alice.
Up ahead of me I caught the scent of a large herd of deer; they were at least five miles away. I however, had caught the scent of a buck less then four miles from where I was now. With my crystal clear vision I spotted him right away, his large frame bearing the scars of his past battles. The rack on his head told that he had been walking the earth for almost fifteen years. I was about to change my course and head back around to where I knew the herd of deer was. The old stag had sensed my presence and decided that I was a threat. His warm breath caused two streams of smoke to form in the cold air as he snorted and stomped the ground. The stag then backed up and took off away from the other deer.
It was what my predator instincts needed - the thrill of the hunt. My body moved without effort through the trees, without breaking a single branch. I had his body pinned to the ground in seconds; he fought me at first and then crumpled beneath me. His breaths were shallow at first and then they stilled. The stag's blood seemed to satisfy the burning in my throat at first. Then I pictured Bella Swan inside my mind's eye and her scent seemed to swirl around me, causing the burning in my throat to flare up once more.
Only the blood of a predator would cool the fire in my throat. However, I wasn't sure if I was going to find what I needed, but there was no way I was going to give in. Using my lightening inhuman speed I was at least miles away in less than a few minutes. It was a feat that would have taken a human three hours to do.
My focus was on the hunt; my instincts were almost humming in my ear. When her pale yet beautiful face flashed through my mind, I felt the same shocking pulse that I had felt earlier and had brushed off. This time however I stopped, this girl had somehow overridden my primal instinct to hunt and kill. I brought my left hand up to touch my right arm, it felt warm. Unfortunately, before I could roll up my sleeve to look at my arm my salvation came in the form of a small grizzly. I wasn't really thrilled about taking his blood; bears were more of Emmett's taste.
Mountain lions were more my thing, but there were none in the area I was in, so bear it was. Upon catching sight of him, I thought he would be an easy take down. The bear however, proved me wrong, for he gave me a run for my money.
However no matter what I did, Bella appeared in my mind's eye and the spot on my arm burn more intensely.
I used my speed to get behind the bear, and did my best to grapple my arms around his front legs as he reared up. He bellowed at me and I roared back, however this did nothing to deter him. The youngster actually did his best to try and knock me down; he turned his head ever so slightly grazing my cheek with his razor-sharp teeth. My hold on him was like a vice; it was now that he started to whine. He knew he wasn't going to beat me. The bear was finally starting to give in to me; his medium frame fell forward onto the ground, his warm breath causing smoke to appear in the frosty air just like the stag. He whined again as his breaths turned to pants of exhaustion. I was the victor of this fight.
Once finished I caught a small drop of blood on my finger as it tried to escape. I was sure that my eyes were rich butterscotch now. Bella Swan's face once more invaded my head. There was no burning in my throat this time, which caused me to let out the breath I had been holding, something I did out of habit. It looked like Carlisle was right - I would have to feed more often until I could control myself around her. Not giving the strange feeling in my arm another thought, I headed quickly for home.
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Once I reached home, I was greeted with anxious looks and thoughts. Esme was at my side instantly, making me smile gently at her as I read her thoughts.
"I'm fine for now Esme. It appears that Carlisle was right. I will just have to be careful and feed more often then usual, so stop fretting so much. I'm not going anywhere."
I smiled slightly at her last thought.
'Oh, thank goodness.'
Alice was singing something in German, the Star Spangled Banner I believe. It was a good sign that she had something on her mind that she didn't want to share with me. Jasper's thoughts were of support and worry.
There was still no sign of Emmett or Rosalie, which meant they were still out for the evening. Carlisle's thoughts were quiet; he was simply reviewing some of the cases he had at the hospital. He also seemed to be very pleased that he had been correct on my needing to feed more often when planning on being around Bella.
Later on in the evening I found myself at my piano, my long fingers gliding across the keys, letting lose a sweet melody that reminded me of a meadow. The piece was no where near complete. Storing the notes in my head, I made my way up the stairs to my room. An image of her floated through my thoughts, and that was when the same warm feeling spread over the same spot it had in the forest. Only this time I had no distractions; I quickly pulled the sleeve of my shirt up.
My golden eyes widened in surprise as I took in the now discolored skin that was no longer a pale white. My fingers shook as I reached out to touch my skin. The small patch indented at my touch and it felt warmer than the skin surround it. I quickly pulled my sleeve down over my arm and ran a panicked hand through my hair. What was happening to me? Were all these years of solitude causing me to lose my mind? I paced my large room in two steps as I scanned our home for everyone. Esme had left with Alice and Jasper to go seek out Emmett and Rosalie. Carlisle was still in his study, I was down the hall in one second.
"Come in, Edward."
The smile that was on Carlisle's face left the moment he caught sight of the panic in my butterscotch orbs.
"Edward, what's wrong? What happened?"
I quickly jumped in and started to tell him everything. Not just how her blood calls to me, but about the strange shock I felt when I brushed against her. I then continued on about the warm feeling I felt on my arm in the forest while I was hunting. My words were so quick that if a human would have been here they wouldn't have understood them. Last of all I told him what had happen mere seconds before I came to him.
Carlisle then asked to see my arm, to which I pulled up the sleeve and offered it to him. I didn't move as he touched my marble skin until he brushed the place on my arm I had told him about. My body flinched without warning.
"Your fingers are cold, Carlisle."
I had seen his eyes widen the second he touched the skin there. He appeared just as stunned by my body's reaction to his touch as I was.
"I wish I had an answer, Edward, as of right now I have none. However, I can tell you that you are most definitely not losing your mind. I can see the difference of your skin with my own eyes. We shall keep this to ourselves for now - I do not wish to worry Esme more. I will start doing research right away."
Carlisle's eyes were serious as he continued to look at me.
"Edward, come to me if anything else starts to feel strange."
I nodded and numbly walked from the room. Before I knew what I was doing, I found myself outside the Swan home. Isabella was asleep in her bed. I chuckled to myself when I remembered the thoughts I had read today; she preferred Bella over Isabella. I would have to keep that in mind for tomorrow. The bed creaked loudly as Bella rolled over quickly in her sleep, mumbling something in her sleep that I almost missed.
"I don't want to be alone, mom.
Why can't I? It's not fair."
I lifted an eyebrow at hearing this. Why was she afraid of being alone? Did her mother leave her? I had thought that Renee Swan had moved to Forks as well, it would appear now that I had been mistaken. She rolled once more and mumbled again.
"Maybe I don't want to be special anymore.
He hates me and doesn't like to be stared at. No, I wouldn't."
As I sat on her window sill and watched her, I found her to be an even more curious human than I had first thought. It seemed like she was having a conversation with someone in her sleep, how odd. I then glanced up at the clock; it read 5:10am. I had spent six and a half hours sitting here and watching her sleep. I knew I needed to be gone before she woke up. I quietly slipped out the window.
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Bella's POV
I tossed and turned in my bed for what felt like hours before a restless sleep took hold of me. I then fell into the dream world where I would sometimes find my mother. She was here tonight, telling me that she had felt what a horrible day I had...
"I don't want to be alone, mom."
"I know you don't. Don't you worry you'll find someone who is very special, I know you will. You just have to stay strong a little while longer."
I wasn't too sure about my mother's words. She must have noticed something in my face.
"There's a boy isn't there? Oh Bella, you know you can't."
"Why can't I? I'm half mortal - maybe if I was with a mortal it would cancel out my other half."
"Bella, you know why you can't. If you grip a cup to hard it will break and you'll cut yourself. You know you don't heal like Phil or I. Or if you fall you could cause an earthquake, or a sink hole. You're special baby."
"There is a boy, but he hates me and doesn't like to be stared at."
My mother laughed at me.
"Well would you like it if some new kid in town just stared at you?"
"No, I wouldn't."
"Well there you have it then baby, try not to look at him and things will be normal. I have to go, I love you."
In a flash my mother was gone and I found myself standing in a meadow alone.
"Just great. She says she loves me, but can't stay. God...newlyweds."
Just then I heard the sound of a branch moving and I spun around quickly to look at my left.
"Who's there?"
Upon turning I came face to face with Edward Cullen. I stifled a scream as I took a step back. His eyes were a golden emerald green color as he sneered at me.
"What did you do to me? What are you?"
He was so close to me that I could smell his breath - it was sweet and spicy at the same time. There was a moment when I thought he was going to kiss me, and then I suddenly jerked awake.
My eyes darted around my room, but I was alone. I ran a shaky hand through my messy long brown hair as I looked at the clock - 5:10 am. It was then I noticed that the wind was blowing my curtains. Had I opened it before I went to bed?
Once the warm water of the shower started to roll across my skin, I realized that after my mother's visit I must have fallen into a real dream. The Edward I had seen wasn't real. However, I couldn't help but think how real it had felt.
"Another joyful day at school; I just won't know what to do with myself."
I was dreading my History class, and lunch period, and Biology as well because I had all three with Edward Cullen.
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Edward's POV
I knew that I wasn't going to be late, and had to force myself to slow my pace. I snagged two deer for breakfast and then double backed to my home. I ignored the thoughts of my brothers and sisters, especially Rosalie and Emmett. Emmett's thoughts were just full of questions and worry, much like Jasper's. I stopped on the fifth step and turned to look at Emmett.
"I have some errands to do before school, would you mind taking the jeep, Emmett?"
I was surprised by his response.
"Yeah, sure, Edward. I have no problem at all with that bro."
I hid a snicker at hearing Rosalie's thoughts toward her husband. I continued on my way up the stairs when Emmett's voice stopped me.
"Are you going be all right, Eddie?"
I forced a small smile on my lips as I answered Emmett's question.
"I'll be fine, and I'll see you at school. I promise."
This seemed to satisfy him, allowing me to continue on my way until Alice's thoughts yelled at me.
'You're hiding something from us. What is it, Edward?'
My eyes narrowed as I looked at Alice. My eyes told her what I was feeling before I spoke.
"You first Alice, then maybe I'll share."
I didn't even wait for her answer, because I knew she wasn't going to share her secret with me yet. I sighed to myself as I heard the engine rev and pull out of the drive. I changed into a pair of dark denim jeans and was removing my shirt, when my thoughts drifted to my arm. My eyes slowly started to move toward the spot from yesterday. It was no longer hot, nor was it soft any longer.
I sensed Esme's thoughts in the kitchen; she was worried about me still. As I hurried out the door to catch Carlisle on his way to work I slipped a light blue tee shirt over my head.
"Carlisle, there is something I must show you."
I held my arm out to him.
"It's gone back to normal now. Have you been able to make anything out of it?"
Carlisle's fingers felt warm to me now instead of cold, like they had been yesterday. His ocher eyes were baffled and curious at the same time.
"This is indeed most curious Edward. I shall continue to look for answers for you. Let us not worry for right now; just try to be careful today."
My eyes must have given something away, because Carlisle asked me something that was more of a statement then a question.
"You went to see her last night, didn't you?"
"All I did was watch her sleep. I was hoping that it would help me understand these feelings I have."
Carlisle said nothing as he put a hand on my shoulder and then climbed into his car. However, before he closed the door he did say something.
"Just remember, Edward, you have the will to control it, son."
I walked over to my Volvo as I watched Carlisle disappear down the driveway. I wasn't going to take any chances with Bella today, which meant I was going to have to go hunting one more time this morning. The down pour of rain and ice wasn't going to making hunting easy, but I'd make due.
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Bella's POV
Ice was my enemy, I was just happy that when I started to fall I didn't hit the ground hard, though my rear was screaming at me for landing on the rocks in the ground. Charlie had seen and had come running towards me.
"Are you all right, Bells?"
"Yeah, I'm good. Ice doesn't really help the uncoordinated."
I was half immortal but grace and beauty were two of the things that I did not get from my mother. I smiled at him when I noticed the chains on the tires. The old Chevy truck was really starting to grow on me.
"I better get going dad, or I'm going to be late for my second day of school."
Charlie nodded to me as he climbed in his car to go to work. As I pulled out of our driveway I drove off in the opposite direction from Charlie.
Once I got to school, I parked my truck and ran to building three and then headed to my homeroom, English class. After English I dragged myself to Trig, where Jessica Stanley tried to start a conversation, but I just wasn't up to it. I held my breath as I walked into my history class. To my surprise there was no Edward Cullen. After History class was over I made my way to Spanish II. During Spanish class, I found myself wondering was going to be like if I saw Edward in Biology class today. The bell suddenly rang signaling the end of another class period.
I did my best to try and look happy as Mike Newton walked me to the gym. In gym I only managed to knock Mike out with the ball once. When I say I knocked him out, I mean he hit the floor the minute my spiked ball hit the back of his head. He came to a couple minutes later, to which I apologized and then spend the rest of fifth period trying to make myself invisible. Especially since I had managed to give Mike a free pass to the hospital, I just hoped I hadn't given him brain damage.
If last period hadn't made me want to jump off a bridge, the look that Rosalie Hale was giving me made me want to wilt away right on the spot. I grabbed an apple and a bottle of water and walked out of the lunch room. I then made my way to the covered pavilion outside. I shivered once in the cold as I realized that it was still raining. I could deal with clouds, but why did it always have to rain?
I jumped slightly when I realized I wasn't alone. Edward Cullen was now standing in front of me.
"Hello, I'm Edward Cullen. You're Bella Swan?"
He had surprised me so much that I dropped my apple. Edward managed to gracefully catch it in his hands, and then gently drop it back into my lap. I nodded numbly to answer his question. I couldn't believe it - the guy who gave me the cold shoulder yesterday was talking to me today.
"I'm sorry that I didn't get to introduce myself yesterday. I had somewhere I needed to be."
I stared at him for a minute before answering him.
"So you're talking to me now?"
Edward turned his head to the side like he was thinking before he answered.
"Yes, I am. So what do you think of all this rain and ice?"
His question caused a small smile to appear on my lips.
"You're asking me about the weather?"
Edward gave me a small smile back.
"I guess I am. I was just trying to start a conversation."
"I don't really like the rain or ice for that matter. Snow is okay as long as I don't have to touch it."
This time he started to laugh at me. His laughter was like a beautiful composition of notes, not that I was musical. I gave him a stern look. He stopped his laughter and apologized.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh. If you don't like the rain and don't like to be wet then why did you move to the wettest state in the US?"
I didn't answer him as I stuffed my water and uneaten apple into my bag; just before the bell rang.
"Sorry, I really should get going. We'll talk more later."
I didn't even turn to see if he was following me to our Biology class. I didn't think that I was going to see him there.
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Edward's POV
For the first time in my life I was speechless. She hadn't answered my question. Had I been that cold to her yesterday? Then I realized that I had been far more atrocious than what she had just been. Perhaps, it was good that she hated me.
I ran a hand through my hair as I looked in the direction she had just gone. I could still smell her sweet scent. It was then that I knew that the next hour or so was going to be tortured bliss for me. However, it would also give her a chance to answer my questions. I took off at an inhuman speed only to slow to a human pace just before some students rounded the corner.
Her words and body language made me even more curious about her and urged me to learn more about this strange little human that made me light headed. I slipped into the class room and took my seat beside Bella. Mr. Molina started in on today's lab. I however, was already familiar with the lab and knew the answers.
"Label the slides correctly, people! The first two groups to label the three phases correctly will be given a 20/20 and will not have to take the quiz scheduled for tomorrow. This, of course, means four of you are going to be very lucky."
I glanced over at Bella and scooted the microscope closer to her.
"Ladies first?" She gave me a curious look before leaning over to look at the slide I had placed there.
"It's prophase."
I gave her a lopsided grin as I asked, "Do you mind if I....?"
Bella shook her head as she spoke, "No, go right on ahead."
As I glanced down at the slide I couldn't stop the small chuckle; because she had been right.
"It's prophase."
Her face held no humor as she answered my statement.
"See? Just like I said."
I changed the slide and put a new slide down and looked at it.
"Anaphase."
This time it was Bella who challenged.
"Mind if I take a look?"
I pushed the microscope toward her as I spoke.
"No, not at all."
Bella nodded her head as she agreed.
"It's Anaphase."
I smirked at her this time, "See? Just like I said."
As I was getting ready to pick up the last slide, I chose this moment to change our discussion from Science.
"You never did answer my question from earlier."
Bella was watching me as if she was waiting for me to continue. So I did just that.
"If you don't like the rain, and don't like to be wet, then why did you move to the wettest state in the US?"
I waited patiently for her to answer. I watched as she seemed to be thinking about her answer; the fact that I could not read her thoughts fascinated me.
"Well, my mom remarried, so I thought it would be good for me to spend some time with my dad."
Her answer confused me, so I looked down at the slide in the microscope.
"Interphase. Would you like to look?"
"No that's ok, I believe you."
Mr. Molina came over and looked at our papers a smile on his human face.
"Class, we have our first group with a perfect score. Well done Bella, Edward. Looks like you're free from taking the quiz."
Mr. Molina looked away from us and announced that there were two more empty slots left and started looking over everyone's shoulder. I turned back to Bella to continue my questions.
"So, you don't like the guy?"
Bella just shook her head no. "No, Phil's great. He's really into minor league baseball right now; so they would be moving a lot. Phil makes my mom happy, so I came here to live in Forks for awhile.
The bell rang and I waited for Bella to collect her things.
"So you came here to live, so your mom could be happy with her new husband. But, you're not that happy about it?"
Bella shook her head as I walked down the hall with her.
"No, I'm happy. Really, I am. I love Charlie to death."
I watched as she cringed at the word death.
"It's just that I get lonely there with him. I haven't really found anyone who gets me. Plus, I won't always be here."
I tilted my head as I watched her body language, something was bothering her. Damn, what I would give to be able to read her thoughts at this very moment.
"So you're happy about being unhappy?" Once again this girl had made me smile.
"I'm just trying to understand you a little better. Usually I can read people pretty well, but you are a mystery to me."
Bella then stopped suddenly, "Well, this is my stop."
I looked up at the door - Art 101.
"So you're an artist?"
Bella shrugged her shoulders. "Not really. It's a requirement I could no longer escape. So I'll see you in History tomorrow?"
"Yes, I shall see you in History tomorrow."
I started to walk away when Bella's voice stopped me.
"Edward, I'm glad you're in a better mood today. You're eyes are more dazzling when you're happy. They were darker yesterday, almost black."
Before I could get mad or even ask her anything she disappeared inside the class room. My time with her had very much been blissful and the torture wasn't that bad either. I was most definitely going to have to see her after her class.
(AN: Oh my, what is going to happen in next chapter guess you'll just have to wait and see.
Question, how many of you guys can find the chapter titles some where in the chapter. The same goes for Chapter one of course.
Also feel free to review at the bottom; reviews bring a smile to my heart.
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