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About a half an hour has passed and Amherst returns. He carries an emotionless expression as an obvious sigh escapes from his lips. I have this sudden feeling like he's disappointed from the progress we've been making, or lack thereof.
He takes a second to write something down in his notebook, not even speaking a word. Finally after a few minutes I speak up. "I have to go to the bathroom."
Amherst looks up for a second and nods in acknowledgement, standing and pressing a button at the door. The door opens and two men step in and instantly grab my arms to escort me to the bathroom. They're far from gentle, I note silently.
Shutting the door to the bathroom, I sigh heavily. The door is slick and I feel like sliding down to the floor but my legs refuse to bend. Looking across the tiny room into the mirror, a gasp escapes my mouth.
I've always thought I was pretty. Not a stop-in-your-tracks sort of pretty where people dare to look twice. I was given a natural, original beauty. But now looking in this mirror, all I see is emptiness. My once flowing, maroon red curls are grungy and stringy. My eyes carry a look of fear and hesitation instead of lust and confidence. My lips are pale instead of that rosy full look to which I'd grown a liking to. Who is this girl before me? So pale and frail, I'm like a fictional character in a horrific story.
As I sit back down in my chair after the guards escort me back, I realize how silly this all feels. Why did I have to fall in love? Was it jealousy? Idiocy? Lust? Or regret? Draco Malfoy was the last boy I'd ever consider sleeping with, and now I am another one of his conquests. Except I'm not. Malfoy loved me and no matter how hard I try to deny it, the feeling prevails. It was a forbidden love and that was what kept our fire burning. If it hadn't been for the feeling of it being so wrong, we would have stopped at the beginning.
"So Ms. Weasley," Amherst fixes his eyes on me and I hardly move. "What started this desire for Draco Malfoy?"
- - - - -
It had been nearly three months since Harry broke up with me and I couldn't have felt any worse. I'd been sleeping in later, eating at irregular hours, and speaking to my parents in ways that I never would have imagined doing before. They could sense my aggrevation and pain, yet when they tried to help it only pushed them away further and I just wanted out. Not only would I snap, but I would use violence. If they weren't in hitting distance, I would throw some object at them, screaming bloody murder.
I wanted to feel like I had no one and finally my family came to leave me be.
It was the night before our return to school when I had finally had it. Harry had been visiting for the past week and I'd spent that time locked away in my room. I didn't want to face him. Finally, on that night, when I was just about to fall asleep, I heard a light knock on my door. Grumbling, I rolled over, until I heard that familiar voice calling out, "It's me, Harry. I need to talk to you."
I had my back to the door when he entered. Even though I wanted him to assume I was sleeping, my eyes were wide open, staring at my wall.
"Ginny," I flinched as he spoke so calmly. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry for what happened, but I don't regret it." My eyes swelled up as he said this, but I couldn't find any tears to let fall. "You are like a little sister to me and I didn't want anything to happen that would destroy our relationship forever. Ron is my best friend and I knew that this would be awkward from the start but I gave it a try. It wasn't until after that I realized it couldn't work because of the circumstances." I bit my lip in frustration as he continued. "But I still love you, Ginny. As a sister, not a girlfriend. I just.." He paused and I could've sworn I heard a sniffle. "It wouldn't have worked, that's all."
I heard him stand to leave, but instead his footsteps drew closer and I felt a clammy hand on my bare arm. "Ginny, I.."
"Don't touch me." I whispered coldly, a ball forming in my throat.
He left as if he didn't know what to say and I spent the rest of the night tossing about in fury. I suddenly decided that I hated Harry Potter.
- - - - -
"What made you hurt so bad after he broke up with you? Why didn't you mention it to him before?" Amherst breaks the stiff silence.
I sigh, eyes darting around the room uncomfortably. "I was the happy Ginny Weasley hidden behind kind eyes and a smile that could accidentally break your heart. No one knew of my pain nor even guessed that I possessed any. It was all I knew how to do."
"What corrupted this blowout, then?"
"I realized that all this time I had spent pining for Harry was wasted. He wanted people to believe that it was better this way; that he was protecting me from harm that would be inflicted upon him. He was a hero, or so people saw him to be." My voice grows angrier as I talk, fists clenching. "But now all I see is a coward."
Amherst nods, hand flicking vigorously away at his notepad. I'm tempted to just lash out and snatch it, reading what he's written, but resist the urge.
"So what did this have to do with Malfoy?" I notice how Amherst never uses his full name, as if it's forbidden. That bothers me for some reason.
"Well that night I'd decided that I hated Harry Potter. I wanted to get back at him, not right away, but eventually. Something sparked inside of me that wanted to drive into his very soul and crush it." I smirk, realising how odd I sound at this very moment, then exhale. "It wasn't until the next day at the train station that I realized I would need Draco Malfoy to succeed in this."
- - - - -
"G'bye, Mum!"
That phrase seemed to've been used about ten times by an irritable Ron who was suffocated in loads of hugs and kisses from his blubbering mother. They were soon followed by two different versions of "Thanks again, Mrs. Weasley!" from Harry and Hermione. I scoffed, shifting uncomfortably as I clutched onto my trunk.
Today I had decided to show off the new curves my body could reveal. It seemed like over the past year I'd been developing, but this summer had finished it off for me. Low, tight jeans clung tightly to my hips, shaping my bottom quite nicely as I waited for the trio to get on the train so I could enter alone. Harry had tried to sneak glances at me, I had noticed, and he seemed astonished at how I had changed over the summer. Since he hadn't seen me at all while staying at the Burrow, and only a shadow the night before, I knew that it was a shock. Zipping up my gray jacket slowly, I rolled my eyes and adjusted my navy and white striped tank-top underneath. Muggles, I'd noticed, had far better clothing than witches and wizards. A lot cheaper too.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, the trio made their way up onto the train, after shooting me many disturbing glares. Ron seemed to have dubbed me his long lost sister, Hermione's long lost friend, and Harry's long lost ex. This would be a year from hell, but a fun one if my plan pulled through.
Eyes darting around the station, I was soon distracted by an awkward touch on the shoulder from my mother. "Ginny, have a nice year. You're always welcome to write if you want to." My mother always sounded bubbly and welcoming, no matter how hard she tried to sound formal.
"Goodbye, Mrs. Weasley." I call out softly before turning around and making my way towards the Hogwarts Express. My trunk rolled over a slight rut in the pavement which made me stagger, running into none other than Draco Malfoy.
"Watch where you're going, Weasley." He spat cooly, brushing a hand over his robes as if there was dirt on them. If I wasn't so desperate at that point to ruin Harry, I would've punched him and walked away. But I had a goal. "These are new robes."
Looking up at his face, I realized how tall he'd gotten over the summer. It seemed as though he was six feet tall. He towered over me intimidatingly, yet I found it unbelievably attractive.
Breathe, Ginny. Breathe. "What the hell are you doing here? Aren't you supposably working for Voldemort or something?"
He scoffed, looking me up and down. I wondered if he was either surprised at how I'd matured, or amused at how I was dressed. Blonde hair falling into his cold, grey eyes, he retorted. "I was under the imperius curse. Snape's doing. And after going through a trial and a shitload of my mother's meddling, I'm back here. Still on watch, though. I don't think the ministry trusts me too well." He sneered arrogantly.
Rolling my eyes, I let my trunk stand on it's own, hand resting on my hip. "Can you blame them? I mean, Harry saw you in the bathrooms crying about--"
He was quick to cut me off. "And you believe Potter? Didn't he dump you with some worthless excuse like 'Oh, I don't want you to be a victim!'? How typical. And I'm sure you're still fawning over him, the most I could expect from a prostrate Weasley like."
I let him ridicule me, wanting to show emotion but unable to. I wanted to let him know how I felt, wondering if it would make him understand. I wanted to be one of his conquests, one of his women. I wanted to understand how to work for him, how to serve him. I just wanted to know how to please him and to make him accept me. "I hate Harry Potter." I spat out icily, finally saying it out loud. It felt good to get it off my chest.
He stood there, mouth open as a familiar bitchy voice called out, "Draco! What are you doing? Let's go! Why are you even talking to that filth anyways?"
We exchanged quick glances and he turned away, pulling his trunks as he walked to meet his most faithful sex slave: Pansy Parkinson.
"She ran into me like an idiot," I heard him explain as they soon disappeared.
I stood there for a split moment, wondering if Draco's sudden pause had even meant something. But I figured it hadn't, so made my way onto the train solumnly, finding my way to the back of the train and into an empty compartment. After the train had started moving, I figured that I would ride this trip alone.
Halfway through the trainride I had fallen asleep, but I awoke to find Michael Corner, my ex-boyfriend, sitting in front of me, curtains drawn on the windows and across the sliding door. He was watching me closely as I came to, although I wasn't all that sure why he was there. "What do you want?" I whispered, still drowzy. I'm sure that if I wasn't half-asleep I would've screamed, performed some hex, and kicked him out. But I wasn't in the right shape or form.
"You know, Ginny." He replied cooly, eyes looking into mine with a certain plead.
"I thought you would've given up after I hadn't replied to the dozens of letters you sent me, Michael." I retorted impatiently, combing my fingers through my hair quickly, vibrant curls bouncing back in place.
"I figured you were in a rough patch after Potter." He moved across to sit beside me, ignoring my flinch absentmindedly as he took my hand. It felt rough and cold; just what I wasn't in the mood for. His green eyes were fixed on me, but I was determined not to look back at him. He was definately good looking; nearly-black locks hanging in his face in a sexy manner, his eyes hungry and pleading on his nearly-perfect chisled face. If I hadn't been so fed up with him at this very moment and particularly determined to find my way into Malfoy's social ranks, I would've ripped his clothes off right then. "I want you back, Gin."
I rolled my eyes, still refusing to look at him. He cupped my chin with his other hand and pulled my glance toward him, our eyes meeting slowly before I broke away. Corner seemed to be one of the few who had noticed my improvement over the past year, or so I'd thought.
"Stop it, Michael." I sighed, releasing myself from his touch and inching towards the window to my right.
"Why?"
"You know why," I replied sharply, suddenly not in the mood for his meddling. He would only break my heart later on anyways. Michael was flighty, the main thing I remembered about him. It was hard to get him to settle down.
"I love you."
"Stop it, Michael." My voice grew stern and I stood, stepping away from him quickly.
"Didn't you understand my letters? I thought I could break away, but then I realized how much I missed you and--"
"Stop!" I hollered, turning around and opening the sliding door quickly. Ignoring his calls, I made my way to the lavatory, weaving through the few students who were out and about, and the food cart. I was nearly a few steps from the bathroom but was suddenly forced to stop when I heard his voice.
"Crabbe, I've told you plenty of times to leave the matter alone. I'm here and that's all that matters. So just shut the fuck up."
I paused, turning to find him sprawled out across one of the seats, head resting in Parkinson's lap as she stroked his hair gently. His face was turned to face the two baboons he had for friends and I could only imagine what he was talking about.
"Draco, we're just glad you're back, that's all. I thought you were dead for sure. The dementor's kiss and all." Parkinson cut in, her voice annoying me on many levels.
"How the hell to I get it across to you lot? I dont want to talk about it," He groaned in frustration and sprang up suddenly, making his way to the door and sliding it open with a slam I turned to leave but he was quick to see me first.
"What the hell are you doing, Weasley? Haven't your parents taught you the consequences of eavesdropping?" He spat viciously and I turned to face him, but his wand was stuck to my throat as I did so. "What did you hear?"
"Nothing," I gagged, suddenly feeling weaker when looking into his cold, grey eyes. I hated this feeling and wanted more control over my body. It wasn't right that I didn't get a fair shot. Brushing a wisp of hair away from my chocolate eyes, I stand up straighter, suddenly losing all signs of intimidation. Two could play his game.
"You'd better watch yourself, Weasley." His eyes flickered menacingly. "You're already off on a bad start with me."
I met his eyes with the same fierce glare, pushing his wand away from my neck. "Well you'd do well to be nice to me, Malfoy." I sneered. "Remember my father's associated with the Ministry."
He scoffed, and I was suddenly aware of how much he was capable of. "Don't even try to threaten me again. You father is pitiful anyhow."
I didn't even try to defend my father; my own flesh and blood. Instead I watched his eyes travel from my eyes to my nose, lips, neck, breasts, and back to my eyes again. His smirk prevailed as a warm finger grazed my cheek. I wasn't exactly sure of what was happening, but went along with it nonetheless. "Have a nice day, Weasley." He commented coyly before turning around and locking himself in the bathroom.
Grumbling, I went back to my own compartment to find it empty which was quite the relief. I quickly changed into my robes as the faint sight of Hogwarts came into view.
It would be an interesting year after all.
- - - - -
Sorry this wasn't very interesting.
I'm still trying to get into the story before I start on all the chaos.
Next chapter will be much more entertaining.
Reviews are lovely.
