Chapter 2

That summer, I didn't see much of my right hand man. Taylor preoccupied most of his time. She was headed off to Yale, after all, so I perfectly understood. Despite his certainty about it when he encouraged me to move on from Gabriella, Chad wasn't quite ready to let Taylor go.

With Zeke and Jason also hanging around each other in the aftermath of Zeke and Sharpay's inevitable break-up, that left just me and Ryan. It was Ryan and me, taking advantage of the time we had together, before he set off for Juilliard in the fall.

Yes, Ryan and Kelsi were the recipients of the Juilliard scholarship. The scouts loved Ryan's choreography in the spring musical so much, they gave out an extra scholarship, just for him. Even though the prospect of losing both of my Drama Club friends completely terrified me, I put my best face forward, like I had with Gabriella, and congratulated the both of them.

I had twirled Ryan around and hugged him during the musical. As we sat together on his massive bed, I was so proud and happy for him, I couldn't refrain from hugging him tightly again. "You deserve it, you know," I told him.

"Sharpay and I have always dreamed of going there," He stared into space, his eyes misty, "But New York is so far away. From Shar, my parents…" He broke off, fidgeting uncomfortably. There was something else.

"Yeah?" I prompted gently, my heart in my throat.

I watched his creamy throat as he swallowed, blush creeping over his fair, porcelain skin. "Juilliard is so far away from you."

His words hung in the air and, from the emphasis on that one word, I realized something that should have been obvious to me. "Oh, Ryan," I murmured. I wanted to punch myself in the gut, slam my head into a wall. Any pain I dealt myself, however, would never equal what I had unknowingly done to him.

"Troy, it's fine," he began assuring me.

"No, it's not."

"It's not your fault. I shouldn't have said anything." He was hurting and vulnerable in his own bedroom, all because of me. All of the times I had paraded my relationship with Gabriella around the school, around Lava Springs, he still stood by me, he still supported me. He was never anything but an amazing friend to me. Knowing that, how badly I had hurt him, how much pain I caused him, hurt me more than losing Gabriella ever had.

"You didn't do anything do anything wrong," I told him.

He looked at his bedroom floor, his skinny body still, but I had a feeling that, inside, he was quaking.

"Ryan." I drew him into me, and was immensely relieved that he didn't struggle, or oppose my touching him. With his body so close to mine, our hearts practically beating against one another, something inside of me began to completely unravel. It wasn't until my eyes closed, that I noticed the moisture clinging to my eyelashes.

-Two Worlds-

I took Gabriella out for dinner four times over the next month. Even though the former Montez house was being browsed by potential buyers, Gabriella's mom had made arrangements with a friend at her work to allow Gabriella to be able to meet with me in person. I was really grateful for this.

Other nights, Gabriella and I would watch a movie together over webcam, talk on the phone, or, when she was in town, hang out in my tree house. Every kiss was initiated by her, like always. But, something in me had changed. For some reason, even though I wanted to feel her mouth on mine, I froze up every time our faces were close enough for me to feel her breath on my cheek, or on my neck.

I knew eventually she'd ask why. How could I tell her that her dark spiral waves of hair, smooth skin, and liquid brown eyes, were now unexpectedly unable to hold a candle to Ryan's golden blond hair that he hid under countless designer fedoras, his curvy hips, and his incredibly alluring sky blue eyes? And, that kissing her while knowing that one of my best friends was in love with me felt wrong?

I never left Ryan out, either. I always called him, refusing to give him a chance to say no because he thought he was, "tainting", me. We went to the mall to shop for our dorms and enhance my wardrobe. Ryan's quite the style consultant, you know. We watched movies in his family's home theater and playfully argued the logistics of Iron Man 2, Ryan offering his own hilarious commentary. During our X-Men round of all nighters, this time in the den, seated on a couch that was piled with expensive lumpy cushions, I noticed him yawning behind his hand while X-3 reached its end. His eyelids fell several times through the first twenty minutes of X-Men Origins: Wolverine. When Kayla, Logan's girlfriend, "died", I realized that Ryan had nodded off on my shoulder.

The sight of him sound asleep, and the feeling of his light weight and his bodily warmth, reduced my heart to ooze. Warm sticky, thick, ooze. I felt a smile tug up the ends of my mouth. Carefully, so I wouldn't disturb him, I removed his hat and eased both of us back on the sofa, so that his head was resting on my chest.

When I told Chad about waking up to discover Ryan and I had maintained these positions throughout the night, he used my words to craft what would be his joke for the next several weeks: "You and Evans slept together."

While I took the teasing in stride, like always, I'm not sure that Gabriella would have found the situation funny at all.

-Unfaithful-

Gabriella's early enrollment at Stanford kept tugging her away. We both recognized it, and, while sometimes, she spoke cryptically about, "goodbyes", and not being ready to grow up, at other times, she started getting clingy, asking me to talk to her until she fell asleep. If I happened to be tired out from shooting hoops with my dad out back, or helping my mom with the groceries, or hanging with Ryan, and fell asleep first, Gabriella would get very upset with me the next day.

At first, it was just mildly annoying, but then it began to escalate to the point where I couldn't stand it anymore, so I calmly asked her to, "please knock it off, okay?". Just like I expected, she didn't take that well.

I figured that I needed even a day long break away from her before I let my irritation get the best of me, and completely screwed up our relationship. Again. It was always me screwing things up for us.

As July rolled around, bringing with it a massive heat wave, Ryan and I frequently took dips in the fantastic pool at his mansion home. It took a lot of coaxing, and even more sunscreen, SPF 100, to get Ryan out of his shirt, but damn did it pay off. Modesty is important, yeah, but I'm not exactly embarrassed to say that I got my first hard on for another boy as I watched water droplets making their way down Ryan's body, trailing down into the waistband of his curve-hugging swim trunks.

I had never seen him shirtless before, at least, not like this. The only time I had seen Ryan shirtless prior to us swimming together, was when my eyes wandered while we were sharing a dressing room during the rehearsals for the East High winter musical. His body was nice, and his skin looked soft, but I never would thought about calling him hot.

Right then, however, I wanted to lick every single drop of pool water right off of his sun-warmed, creamy skin.

I felt his eyes glued to my pectorals, my abdomen, the prominent bulge at the front of my trunks. It was one of those cosmic moments where we noticed each other noticing each other. Cliche as it is to say, I felt like I was seeing him for the first time, and I really, really liked what I saw.

-Listen To Your Heart-

A week later, Gabriella asked to join us. This posed a bit of a problem for both me and Ryan, but I agreed to it at Ryan's request. I think he might have been aware that I didn't want to have to answer to Gabriella's looks of betrayal, her pained sighs, or my own guilty conscience.

Gabriella and I floated and swam around the pool; if she playfully splashed me, I'd splash her back, but my enthusiasm was lacking. Ryan rotated between chatting with us, reading a book titled Homunculus, and staring listlessly into space. He wouldn't join us unless someone invited him. That was unfair. It was his house, and his pool. I wanted to invite him in, I should have, but I was afraid of how Gabriella would have reacted.

Around three that afternoon, Ryan asked if either of us were hungry. Gabriella looked at me expectantly, so I replied, "Yeah." I've learned that some girls will almost never admit that they're hungry, because they've been convinced that such a thing is, "unladylike". Personally, when I'm hungry, I eat, and I think that's how everyone should look at it.

Ryan offered to get the food, and I prepared to climb out and help him. It was bad enough that he had to sit there and watch other people splash around in his pool. He shouldn't have had to get food for us all by himself.

"No, Troy, it's all right," he said hastily.

"It's fine, Ryan. I insist."

Gabriella's mouth opened, then shut, as if she wanted to protest, but thought better of it. I asked her what she'd like and she murmured, "Never mind. I'm not really hungry anymore," then turned away from me, folding her arms. I was upset that she reacted in such a way. I was only helping a friend.

At least, that's what I told myself I was doing.

I followed Ryan, my wet feet slapping against the walkway. The wet smacks were timed with the padded clacking of his flip flops. We entered his pantry, and Ryan remarked, "She's jealous."

My heart missed a beat. He put to words what I couldn't even begin to think about. I swallowed, feeling like my face was burning, all of the sudden. I leaned into him and inquired in a low voice, "D-Does she have a reason to be?"

He looked at me, his eyes glowing with a feeling that had been absent from Gabriella's gaze for the last two weeks, maybe even longer than that. "I don't know," he answered. His arm twitched and I imagined his hands on me. His cool, slender, hands massaging my chest, sliding down… down... Ryan swallowed before speaking again, his light voice low, almost husky. "Does she?"

My hand reached out as if it had a mind of its own, and I dragged a knuckle down his cheek. His breath hitched as he released a sigh. Fuck, I thought, my heart hammering. Yes. Yes, she does.

And, then we remembered where we were, who was just outside, and what we were supposed to be doing. Quickly, we broke apart. I helped myself to the peanut butter and jelly. Ryan grabbed the wheat and white bread, an apple, and a banana. I fixed myself and Gabriella peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, which are about the full extent of my culinary skills. Ryan made himself a peanut butter and banana sandwich.

"Is that good?" I asked.

"Mm. Try some." He severed the sandwich with a neat, swift cut, and offered me a half.

Without a second thought, I bit off of it, eating right out of his slender hand. The combination of peanut butter and the soft, sweet creamy fruit was more than just "good". It was awesome. Ryan's taste was impeccable.

-New Divide-

After the 4th of July, the duration of my phone calls with Gabriella began receding. From three hours to two and a half. From two and a half to an hour. An hour to forty-five minutes. We were running out of things to talk about, to say to each other. She always sounded preoccupied, and there would be periods of extended silence before one of us would come up with some half-assed excuse to get off the phone. Sometimes, I'd hear the voice of another guy in the background, and Gabriella would giggle before telling me that she had some studying to do.

It also didn't help that my mind kept wandering to Ryan while I was on the phone with her. The distance between us, the former "Primo Couple" of East High, just kept widening. And, there was nothing that I could do to stop it.

A voice at the back of my mind wondered if I really wanted to stop it.

Chad informed me that Gabriella was telling Taylor that I was, "making her feel neglected". He wanted to know if I was falling for Ryan, and a huge part of me immediately gave that an affirmative. I wasn't "falling", for Ryan, however.

No. I knew that I had already fallen for him. The feelings were just getting more intense.

-Potential Break-Up-

The steady decline of my relationship with Gabriella finally plunged into rock bottom. She went away to Stanford for a week to catch up on her studies. Before leaving, she spent an entire afternoon with me. A very awkward and uncomfortable afternoon that shouldn't have been awkward and uncomfortable. Her hand rested on my thigh, and she kept giving me these looks that made me feel lower than the floor.

Or maybe, that was how she always looked at me, and I was just starting to notice how it made me feel.

"You're still going to Berkeley in the fall, right?" she asked, gazing intently at my face.

"Yeah." I paused, swallowing. "That's the plan, right?"

Her lips curled up into something that wasn't really a smile. "I wish it was fall, already."

I found myself forcing a smile on my face. "Me, too." Honestly, I didn't know if that was the truth, anymore.

She pressed her lips to my neck, and I had to fight with myself not to flinch away. When her mom showed up to pick her up, I wasn't sure what to feel.

I walked her to the door and she blew me a kiss goodbye, fluttering her eyelashes. That strange, off-smile never left her face.

The next day, she sent me a text that read, "I love you, Wildcat. But, I think we need some time apart." I may have played sports for most of my life, but I'm not a neanderthal. When a girl tells you that you, "need some time apart", it means she's considering breaking up with you.

I texted her back, asking her if that was the case.

Five minutes later, I received her response:

Idk, Troy. I'll talk to you later. Bye. :(

I was so frustrated and pissed, I threw my phone onto the bed and ran my hands through my hair. I knew I had been tempted, but damn it, I hadn't done a damn thing with Ryan that would have been considered an act of infidelity. And this, right after her visit the day before, too? Fuck me. I lashed out at the wall, and probably would have cried out in frustration if I wasn't so sure that my mom or dad would hear, and come rushing in to find out why their perfect son was so perfectly fucking up. Like always.

The urge to scream was detracted as my ringtone for Ryan, "I Want To Hold Your Hand", by the Beatles, sounded off. Quickly, I retrieved my phone and, composing myself, spoke into the receiver. "Ry?"

"Troy, hey!" His light voice was like a splash of cool water on the sting left by Gabriella's abandonment.

"Hey," I returned, trying to keep my voice steady.

I didn't fool at him at all.

"Gabriella, huh?" He inquired.

"Yeah," I replied, bitterness overwhelming my voice.

He didn't ask if I wanted to talk about it, like my mom or dad would have. He just knew that I'd rather not. Instead, he invited me over to his house to help him practice his audition for a community theater production. And, to get my mind off of my relationship troubles.

I couldn't refuse him.

-Chemicals React-

I got to his house and he lead me to the rec room, where a stereo was already set up. He told he had to run through his routine, and I could feel free to jump in whenever I felt like it. The music started, and he began to sing, his body swaying in time to the beat. He pulled off these almost snake-like movements so effortlessly, I was spellbound.

You make me feel

Out of my element

Like I'm walkin' on

Broken glass

Like my world's spinnin'

In slow motion

And you're movin' too

Fast

His voice, for lack of better terminology, was a vocal orgasm in its purest form. Smooth, velvety, light, impassioned. In the two years I had known Gabriella, she never put such sincerity into her singing. Every joint in Ryan's body seemed to be driven and powered by it. Performing was his natural forte for a reason, after all.

Were you right?

Was I wrong?

Were you weak?

Was I strong?

Yeah, both of us

Broken

Caught in

The moment

We lived and

We loved and

We hurt and

We jumped

Yeah

He slid in close to me. Placing his fingers under my chin, he leniently tilted it up and gazed into my eyes, blue into blue. His eyes held the world at their cores.

But the planets

All aligned,

When you looked

Into my eyes

And just like

That,

The chemicals

React

The chemicals

React

I soon joined in, singing along. The words just came to me, as if they had been stored away inside me, and I was extracting them again. For some reason, singing this song with Ryan, to him, felt more right than anything had in the last month or so. I was venting, getting all of these feelings that I had for him off of my chest.

Hesitantly, I took hold of his hand, and, pressing our palms together, interlocked our fingers, never detaching my gaze from his.

You make me feel

Out of my element

Like I'm drifting

Out to the sea

Like the tide's

Pullin' me in deeper,

Makin' it harder

To breathe

We cannot deny

How we feel inside, he sang. The expanse of his eyes encompassed the world, and as I gazed into the surface of his shining sky blue orbs, recognizing the reflection in them, I realized it was me. All me.

We cannot deny! I sang with him, letting our voices intertwine, fuse to create a blend more pure than any we had experienced and experimented with during our years at East High.

Were you right?

Was I wrong? Ryan asked, sliding in close, only to slip just out of my reach.

Were you weak?

Was I strong? I countered, each verse flowing out of me as naturally as breaths.

Yeah! We exclaimed, rejoining our voices. Harmonizing.

Both of us broken

Caught in the moment

We lived and

We loved and

We hurt and

We jumped

Yeah, Ryan ducked, twirling himself under my arms.

But the planets

All aligned,

When you looked

Into my eyes

And just like that, I did a half twirl and followed, reaching for him as if my life was dependent on my catching him and holding him close. Because, maybe it was.

The chemicals react

The chemicals react

Kaleidoscope of colors, he began, letting the intensity build as the beat of the accompaniment drove us to the song's climax.

Turnin' hopes on fire

Sun is burnin'

I reached him and took his hands. Looking unguardedly into his eyes, I tried to convey all of the things I felt. How much I was needing him. We sang together again.

Shinin' down on

Both of us

The inner wall he had fortified to keep himself secure fell away brick by brick.

Don't let us lose it, Ryan vocalized softly.

"Don't let us lose it…" I whispered. I thought back to my kiss with Gabriella on Prom Night, and how happy I had been to feel her lips against mine. Then, I thought of every kiss after that; how awkward, and how wrong they had felt. I considered all of the times I had wondered what Ryan's lips tasted like. I envisioned my lips brushing against his, feeling how soft they were.

I pictured Gabriella, her shining curls falling into her face, her olive fingers stroking though the dark hair of some other lucky guy, her shimmering lips and petite form pressing against his strong, muscular body. His hands stroking her smooth cheeks.

I love you, Wildcat.

But, she wasn't here with me, and I wasn't there with her. She couldn't even get on a plane to go to the prom with me. No, the person in front of me was Ryan. Sweet, caring Ryan who was always there when I needed him, even if he had other things to do. Beautiful, incredibly attractive Ryan, whose succulent lips were parted, his eyes aglow. In those eyes, I saw myself moving closer, closer. Hesitation left me. I couldn't deny him- or myself, what we desired anymore.

I captured his lips with my own, my heart swelling, my pulse throbbing in my ears. When I closed my eyes, the image on the inside of my eyelids was Ryan, and then an explosion of fireworks. My arms wrapped around him, and that was all of the coaxing that he needed to fling his arms around my neck. His sweet scent of lavender, with a hint of something more masculine, drifted into my nostrils, and I finally knew that his mouth tasted of mint, strawberries and everything wonderful.

A/N: Please, if it isn't too much trouble, leave a review, and let me know what you think.