Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Title: your bad dreams are all about me
Characters: Azula, Ursa
Word Count: 1115

Summary: Four times Azula never sees her mother (and one time she maybe does).


your bad dreams are all about me
(you left me all alone and I never cared)


1.

Her brother never sits under that tree in the garden after she left. Neither does her father (but he never comes there except for that one time so no one misses him anyways) and Azula, for the tenth time this week- finds herself alone in the too-quiet garden under the too-big tree looking at the stupid turtleducks.

There's a loaf of bread in her hands and she cuts that for being a tradition (and not because).

A frown appears in her 12-years-old face as the pond's occupants squawk annoyingly and, as she watches, it seems as if they were swimming away from her direction.

She tests the theory by coming closer to the pond; and yes, the turtleducks quickly scurry away- the biggest one (their mother, she presumes) squawking left and right.

After the ripples settle, she can almost see a tall figure with a red robe and an all too-familiar crown (she averts her eyes so she can't see the long black hair and the golden eyes and the pale heart-shaped face) and she hears that voice, carried by the wind.

"That's what moms are like. "

She takes a stance, right hand back, left foot forward- her right wrist tightens its hold onto the bread-

"You mess with their babies-"

A perfect swing, bull's eye- and she knows without looking that Mother Turtleduck is sinking down, knocked out (hopefully) and dead (regrettably)- the ridiculous amount of its offspring's squawking that happens precisely a minute later indicates the same thing.

"-they'll bite you back."

Note to self: Tell daddy we need a new set of turtleducks. A stupid servant mixed up their food and one of them is dead now.

-

-

2.

Ty Lee proves to be very agreeable after a few pushes and pulls- Azula smiles as the acrobat excuses herself from the dressing room for packing- the tent flaps open and closes; it's all hers for now.

The ornate mirror that her friend used earlier catches her attention- an antique; the details of a gold lining are still visible although it's rusting- probably smuggled from the palace years ago. She smirks, all the material to use for her- she doesn't like that Circus Master; people like him succumbs fast to power, and she can't have Daddy breathing down her neck if he finds out that she's forcing a nobleman's daughter on her quest, can she?

Not that Ty Lee's a nobleman's daughter any longer anyway- that fool of her father probably had disowned her by now. His loss, then.

She fingers the mirror's edges- definitely one of the palace's- and at the same time, a wind breezes in, snuffing some of the candles off.

Ignoring that as she continues inspecting the mirror, she can't help but think that in this light, the dim tent almost look like the Royal Palace, and the mirror look like one of the dressing room's- her mother's-

"Be nice to your friends, Azula."

She snaps up and her reflection's hair is longer, eyes older-

Crack.

No one in the circus ever asks about the broken mirror in its former star's changing room.

-

-

3.

The last Earth Kingdom's stronghold is going to fall any day and she founds herself somewhat satisfied.

(Only somewhat, because- well, Ba Sing Se is still standing. For now.)

Ty Lee is sleeping and Mai is off out there doing who-knows-what; she's amused at the mere thought of the stony girl 'mingling' with the Earth Kingdom peasants. Identities are the one thing she can worry less about - the Kyoshi outfits, dreadful as they may be, have proven their value upon her entry, and will continue as an important tool in her plans.

Tonight is a very good evening, enjoyable enough for her to ignore the shadow she sees at every turn and every stop; the shadow of a figure she does not want to think about right now.

She turns around and there she is; a ghost from the past- she hates to think that it's only because of the exquisite power and knowledge she holds right now that she's able to do this.

(They never meet face-to-face until now)

The ghost is silent and dissipates into ashes when she walks through.

She tries to forget those disappointed eyes.

-

-

4.

Zuko is back and the palace has one less empty room.

There are still a lot of them left (and it's not like her brother stays in his room- she has eyes, a fact that dear little Zuzu always forget) and she stays in one of them- the one that has plans and schemes all over it (it starts to feel a little more like home) and starts planning.

Alone.

Her father is busy, Ty Lee is with her parents and Mai is with Zuko- her brother himself is all over the place, a koala-sheep trapped in the house of spider-snakes- she waits for him to fall prey and she'll take whatever's left of his miserable carcass.

The thought almost distracts her. Almost.

"It's okay if you don't like being alone."

Her face crunches and she hisses, "Shut. Up."

"I will always be-"

Her own voice sounded like ice.

"Stay away."

Fire Lord Ozai doesn't even move his eyes when one of the palace's staff reports the removal of all the mirrors in the rooms that are currently being used by the Fire Princess.

-

-

5.

She refuses to acknowledge that she's falling apart; jagged pieces are falling right and left in front of her eyes courtesy of daddy dearest and her lovely little friends who turned traitors- because she is not. She is in control, right now. She is about to become Fire Lord, and no one- no one is going to stop that.

Stalking down the hallways- left, right, turn down- she sees no one (good, they're useless) and slams the doors open to find an empty dressing room.

With a mirror in the middle of it.

She sees a woman she does not recognize- hair mussed, face crunched and eyes wild (she still refuse to fall) and fights the urge to scream; because this is supposed to be her on top of the world and she can not for her life figure out why does she feel like nothing right now. Why something is not right. Why her father is up there taking over the Earth Kingdom and she is here playing royalty and everyone else just seems to be fine with it. Why-

Why her hair is not what it's supposed to look like right now.

A cut and there-

"What a shame, you always had such beautiful hair."

She starts falling.


So.. the usuals. Avatar is not mine, the characters are not mine. Reviews and constructive critics will be deeply appreciated.