II
Broken Memories
Anna was hurrying to Elsa's room. When she first found out that Elsa had been found in some strange room of the castle, collapsed and unconscious, she had nearly gone crazy from the panic, though all of the hours spent at her bedside had yielded little as Elsa remained asleep for over two days, with little explanation from the doctor as to why. The stress of her impending wedding was obvious, but there was something unnatural about her sudden slumber, even as Elsa had seemingly slept so little before the incident. Anna tried to remain calm as she marched forward, yet she was also a victim of her heart, stretched by both Elsa and Yasha, until she was unsure what she needed to prioritize, though with the immediate concern apparent before her.
Now that Elsa had suddenly awoken, she made a straight line to see her.
"Is she awake? Is she okay?" she called as she found the familiar figure of Johann standing in the hallway outside of the queen's room. Her questions barely made it out past the panting.
Johann turned from the door and faced her, raising his hands up to both calm her concerns and her breathing. "She's fine. She's fine," he replied, though something in his voice made her wince, as if he wasn't totally convinced of that. "There doesn't seem to be anything amiss. She's awake, and the doctor has requested that she stay in bed a bit longer to regain her strength."
"But?" she said, knowing there was more to this than that.
He took a deep breath and looked towards the door. "But...Queen Elsa seems distant. Cold, even. I can't really explain it, but she hasn't eaten anything since awakening and she barely speaks. It's as if something in that room has taken her, though I can't explain what," he explained, looking back to her to offer the true depth of his concern. "It could be the stress, or it could be something else. I don't know what to make of it."
Anna looked to the door as well, finding the same strangely sickening feeling as when she had looked at her door in the past, but then shook off the bad feeling that was coming over her and looked back to him. She was far beyond retreating from her door.
"I'll talk to her. It's nothing that I can't handle," she claimed confidently and dramatically started rolling up her sleeves.
Her confidence was contagious and he offered a slight smile, hoping more than anything that she would be able to succeed. He knew that if anyone could bring the queen from her depression, it was Anna. "Good luck then," he said with a nod, reaching over to open the door, but then stopping her abrupt entrance with a soft touch to her arm, making her look back to him once more. "Have patience, Princess. The queen may not seem herself. I don't need to explain to you what she's been going through, but give her a little time. If anyone can reach her, it's you."
The echoes of his concerns struck her more powerfully this time, but she had every confidence in the world that she could shake Elsa from whatever was bothering her, just as she had done before.
With his warning hanging over her, she stepped through the open door into the room. Instantly, she was aware how cool it was. The balcony doors were open and it sent a breeze through the sheer curtains that hung around the bed, casting Elsa's figure like a ghost. She was sitting upright, looking out quietly. Anna shivered.
To wave off her anxiety, she hurried around the ghostly veil to Elsa's side, though her sister didn't even look at her. "Hi," Anna said softly, taking the chair next to her bed and leaning forward, placing her hands tightly onto Elsa's. The queen's eyes fluttered a bit, as if she were broken from a trance, then they slowly moved to her, though their initial response shocked her. It was almost like Elsa didn't recognize her.
"Anna," she whispered after a moment.
"Yeah, it's me," Anna replied worriedly, "How do you feel?"
Elsa thought a moment, her eyes falling.
"Cold."
A twisted smirk flared over Anna's face, for she couldn't tell if she was being serious or trying to make a joke. Everything about her behavior was making her heart race, and she was trying to restrain the overwhelming alarm that was rising in her chest. "That's kind of weird. You know, what with the magic and all. I thought it never bothered you," she laughed, awkwardly trying to inject a lighter mood in the room but feeling intimidated by her strange response.
Despite the attempt, Elsa continued to look away, though didn't look like she was looking at anything at all. Anna's restlessness grew. "Anyway, a storage room is a pretty bizarre place for the queen to be taking a nap. At least you could have used one of the couches and pulled one of the sheets up around you so you didn't catch a cold. Your colds are pretty wild, after all," she said, reaching up softly to press her hand to Elsa's forehead, but finding the touch deceptively normal. She had been expecting a fever, or something much colder.
"What exactly were you doing in there?"
Elsa's brow twisted and her eyes moved slightly, as if she were trying to remember a dream.
"Chasing shadows," she whispered.
"Uhm, okay," Anna replied, not understanding.
Just the expression Elsa wore was enough to stoke the terror she felt inside, but to hear the tone in her voice as she gave such obscure responses was more than her courtesy would allow, for she was genuinely worried and wanted to know exactly what was bothering her, and how to make it better. "You're acting pretty weird, you know. Even Johann's worried. I know you've got a lot on your mind, but I need you to talk to me about it. No more closed doors, remember?" she continued, then carefully squeezed her hand to reassure her that she was there, pleading to her with her eyes. "I'm here for you, no matter what. Just…please talk to me."
Finally, Elsa looked to her, but the chill remained. Her eyes were like ice. "Did they find the mirror?"
"Mirror?" Anna repeated, "What mirror?"
Elsa's gaze dropped again, once again suffering her hazy recollection. It was obvious that the events of the night were as much a mystery to her as they were to anyone else. "There was a beautiful mirror in that room, but it shattered. The shards felt like they went inside of me," she recalled as she placed her hand over her chest, "Now I can't remember if it even happened at all. Any of it. And the shadow..."
By now her eyes had risen back up and for the first time, Anna felt like she was looking at her sister, something that both frightened her and gave her a strange sense of relief. It looked like Elsa had a name trapped on her lips.
"They didn't find anything in that room, Elsa. There wasn't a mirror, even a broken one. It must have been a dream," she assured her
Elsa frowned. "It wasn't a dream," she replied, then looked slowly back out the open doors, appearing much as she was when Anna first came in.
"It wasn't a dream."
Seeing her revert, Anna desperately tried to keep her, not wanting to her to continue down the path that brought out such strange responses. She began to think there really had been mirrors and shadows. "Well, if it wasn't a dream, what was it? What exactly did you see? I'm sure we can figure it out together," she offered, but Elsa seemed distant again and didn't answer. Feeling as if she were once more talking to a sickly patient, Anna's overtures became more heated and she scooted closer to the side of the bed, doing whatever she could to try and reach her. "Come on, Elsa, stay with me. Even if it takes all day, we'll figure out what happened in there. You don't have to face this alone."
A heavy silence filled the room.
"Go away."
Anna flinched. "I'm sorry?" she replied, trying to figure out if she had her sister right.
"Go away. I want to be alone," Elsa repeated in a tone that was as sharp as it was distant, and something Anna was no longer accustomed to.
With painful memories of the previous distance between them, Anna's panic began to strangle her, keeping her from forming any coherent words for a few moments. Not since Arendelle had been frozen had her sister been so barbed, with those feelings of fear and helplessness raging inside of her far more potently than the memories themselves. "You can't be serious," she gasped, shaking her head slightly as her back stiffened and her voice rose, "You're found passed out in some weird place in the castle, then you sleep for two days and suddenly wake up like this, talking about mirrors and shadows. This isn't funny, Elsa. What's going on with you? You're not acting like yourself at all."
Elsa didn't answer and it only carried her panic further as she began to paw at her sister.
"Answer me, Elsa! Please!"
By now Johann had entered the room, taking a few hurried steps in to see what commotion was, though he was completely unprepared for what he found. The air bit at his skin and his breath came out as vapor. There was a sheen of frost around the ceiling and walls, and he was instantly reminded of all those times he secretly saw Elsa in her youth suffering her slipping powers. Anna was desperately trying to connect to her sister but she seemed even more distant than before, something that brought a similar level of apprehension in him, though he was quiet as he tried to find his place in their exchange, albeit with a clenched jaw.
Elsa's eyes never left the strange distance, though it was apparent she had noticed that he had entered. Her eyes continued to be ice.
"Escort her out, Captain," she ordered.
Both Anna and Johann were lost in disbelief. Nothing about Anna's appeals should have warranted such a cold response. Anna felt as if her heart was cracking in her chest and she made yet another pleading squeeze to her arm, but Elsa's behavior was vicious, for she didn't respond in the slightest, not even to pull away.
She simply sat there, as if Anna didn't exist at all.
After witnessing such a tragedy, Johann's hands tightened at his sides as he was torn between his duty and his instincts. Elsa wasn't acting normal. He knew her well enough to recognize that, but he also knew that there was little they could do about it at the moment, with so much unknown. The doctors had no answers. The room had no answers. There were nothing but questions, the only thing they seemed to have in abundance. In the end, he could only do his duty, pressed painfully through a deep breath and the emotions that followed it.
"Princess," he whispered, hating himself for what he was about to do.
Anna shot him a glance and was horrified when he gestured to the door, showing that he would obey the command regardless of how vicious it seemed. "What? No! I'm not going anywhere!" she cried, then turned her attention back to Elsa and shook her arm, trying anything she could to try and get through to her again.
"Elsa, please! You have to tell me what's going on! Why are you acting this way? What did you see in that mirror?" she pleaded, though her sister didn't respond, not even to repeat her orders.
Johann had now approached and stood stiffly at the bedside, trying to give Anna as much time as he could and looking on just as pathetically, yet finding no other recourse but to follow the orders of his queen. He would have given anything to be the voice that reached her, or to somehow help Anna in her efforts, but nothing, not even the sound of the princess's pleading voice seemed to reach Elsa, and her former villain felt complete agony at following the command.
"Anna, please," he said, shifting his attention and addressing her informally, even though he felt the familiarity didn't suit him, "Don't make this any harder than it has to be."
Anna's eyes shot at him, red and agitated. The level of betrayal in them was almost as fierce as her desire to reach Elsa, but several more moments of denial and insistence began to erode her willpower. The situation felt inadequate to pull her away, but there was so much about it that was darkness and so much she didn't understand. It was difficult appealing to her sister when she didn't even acknowledge she was there and her emotions felt like they were overflowing from inside.
Anna didn't even know the moment when she finally gave in, but she knew that as soon as she rose to her feet, she felt her heart shattered like the mirror Elsa spoke of.
With a tearful gasp, she turned and walked from the room, leaving her sister there, still broken and quiet.
Johann had expected Elsa to react to her flight, but she remained frozen in place, staring out at nothing, as if a breeze had simply made its way through the room. Shaken by her actions as well, he parted his lips to speak, but retreated when he realized he had nothing to offer. All he could do was ask the same questions, but realized that he had no chance where Anna had failed.
In the end, all he could do was turn stiffly and walk from the room, leaving her isolated and strange as he quietly closed the door behind him.
Anna was standing in the hall, quietly crying and wiping the tears from her face. The encounter had left her drained and terrified, as much about her helplessness as she was for the cold look in Elsa's eyes. Not even when she had retreated from her during their childhood had she felt such a chill, so much so that she felt there were other forces at work that she couldn't see, shadows in the darkness. She knew she had to somehow discover what had affected her so strongly, but at that moment she couldn't think straight and only wanted to see her with a smile on her face, regardless of how it happened.
She just wanted her sister back.
"I'm sorry, Princess," Johann offered as he approached her, his face showing how angry he was at his own failure and how guilty he felt at having to obey the command, "I had no choice, and perhaps this is better for the moment."
Anna tried to snuff out her sobs, pressing her palm across her cheek as she shook her head. "It's not your fault, Johann," she whimpered. She knew he had done what he had to do and that he was as helpless in the matter as she was. "I just don't know what's come over her. She was acting like I was some stranger," she continued, finally looking to him even though she showed the residual pain in her eyes. "What really happened to her down there in that room? What mirror is she talking about?"
"I have no idea. There was nothing in that room but old furniture. No one had been in there in months and there was no sign of any mirror. It doesn't make any sense," he replied, exhausted.
Trying overcome the pain she felt at not being able to reach Elsa, Anna stared at the closed door, wanting nothing more than to march back into her room and refuse to leave until Elsa was herself again, but she knew there was no point. All she would do was put Johann in a terrible spot. Sadly, she realized she could only wait to see if some time and rest helped, though somewhere deep inside she feared that no amount of time would heal whatever wounds she was covering.
Not willing to stand by and do nothing, she decided to do whatever it took to bring her sister back, even if that meant relying someone that had a sordid past when it came to Elsa.
"Johann," she said, snaring his attention, "I'm going to need your help. We have to try and find a way to get her back to normal. There's more to this than we know, and I'm starting to think this mirror she's talking about is the key. There's got to be something in that room."
"We need to find out what happened to Elsa."
Johann didn't let the gravity of her request slip away, nor did he dismiss how difficult it must have been to rely on him when he had been less than noble in the past. He had spent many months making amends for his crimes, though it never seemed to be enough. He had betrayed so many and hurt even more, so knowing that Anna would trust him with such a crucial task made a wave of pride fill his chest, and he would do anything she asked to see his queen healed.
He wouldn't let this opportunity to redeem himself slip away.
"Of course, Princess. You can count on me."
