Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, it belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. I only own the plot.

OMG!! I'd never realized how scary dentists can be until…a few days before…I had my wisdom teeth removed and it's the scariest thing ever…and what's worse? In the clinic, they were showing Spy Kids 3…I was in the middle of laughing and wanting to scream…not a good combination huh

Ok, this chapter might be a little weird because I'm currently on drugs…lots and lots of painkillers and antibiotics…so yea…haha

There's a few people who I wanted to thank DarkFeenix, Rockyspirit, zerotru, Patch5129, thei, and residentevilgirl for reviewing. This chapter is dedicated to you guys. Thank you so much for reviewing! ;p

Setting: 2 years after the group had failed to retrieve Sasuke

Spoilers: up to chapter 242

Warning: swearing and sexual innuendos, nothing too bad…I swear

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Operation: Hunt Shikamaru Down!-Chapter 2

Shikamaru looked left and right before allowing himself to collapse on one of the roofs of the houses in Konoha.

Dear god, life cannot get more troublesome than this.

Finally…he closed his eyes and rested for a moment, enjoying his short moment of freedom before…

Shikamaru wanted to apologize to everyone out there.

He had a confession to make.

He was about to…no he couldn't afford to say it out loud…if he did, then the end of the world would be near!

Well, he supposed that he was being overdramatic, since…it was only a word.

But it was a forbidden word, for him anyways. If he says it; he would scare the hell out of everyone within Konoha. He didn't want to be the one responsible for the causes of inhabitants' heart attacks. Yet, if he doesn't say it now, he might never be able to say it anymore. After all, even with the 200 IQ of his, he couldn't determine whether or not he would be able to see the next sunrise.

He was desperate.

There he said it. Yes, there weren't anything wrong with your ears.

Shikamaru was DESPERATE.

He wasn't supposed to be desperate. In fact, he was always one of those who would be in control of the situation. However, it all changed ever since he had met a person, who was the one and only person who turned his world upside-down…literally.

The person's name shall not be mentioned for it shall bring disaster upon himself!

He really didn't know what to do with 'her'. He tried everything, and when he said everything…it was EVERYTHING that his brain could come up with…(although it may not make perfect sense…)

Act 1, Scene 1: Complain to the 'Higher Power' (see how he even created a title for this?)

(Terminator music starts to play)

Shikamaru nodded to the shinobi he saw as he walked up the stairs toward the Hokage office. He then saluted at Shizune, the Hokage's secretary, as she opened the door for him to enter. He found Tsunade sitting at her chair in front of a messy desk. She was going through her piles of scrolls. She looked up when he stood in front of her desk; she raised her eyebrow, questioning his purpose for being there.

Shikamaru cleared his throat, "Hokage, I got a problem at hand and I wished to have your assistance."

"What can be so difficult that not even our genius, Shikamaru, can't even take care of?" Tsunade questioned, "I'll give you whatever assistance you want, money, assassins, anyone or thing you wanted. You name it and I'll give them to you. After all, you are so important to Konoha that nothing should ever be in you way."

Shikamaru coughed, "it's not a mission…actually, to be honest, it's about a certain woman…"

"You mean Temari of the Hidden Sand Village?"

Shikamaru nodded, "I'm sure that you have heard about hm her… obsession… about… hm… trying to kill me. I found it difficult to concentrate on my occupation as a Chuunin as she…"

Tsunade gave him a wave, clearly not interested. "I'm sure that she means no harm." Then she gave him a wink, "don't tell me you don't like the attention you are getting Shikamaru."

"But you are Hokage, aren't you suppose to protect the wellbeing of the people within Konoha?"

"What do I look like Shikamaru? Your baby sitter? You are already 15, a few years later; you are going to be a Jounin. I say you get your ass out there, sort out everything with Temari and get on with your life. Now get out of my office before you make me want to kill you too."

(Terminator music ends)

Act 1, Scene 2: Complain to the 'Higher Power'

Shikamaru opened the door of his house as he slammed it after him. He ran up the stairs as he asked 'calmly', "MOM! WHERE ARE YOU!"

Scream? No way, Shikamaru would never scream…he would only raise his voice a little bit…only during…hm…

His mother came out, wiping her hands on her apron. Her eyes looked at him with concern.

Shikamaru ran to her, stopping before colliding with her, "Mom, there's this psychotic woman…"

Her eyes flared as she reached out to pinch his ear, "what kind of language are you using young man! Didn't I tell you that you cannot swear no matter what!"

What! He didn't even swear! What did he say wrong this time?!

Was it impossible to understand the way of how a woman's mind works? Hell, he was her son wasn't he? He had half of her genes and yet he still couldn't comprehend the way she thinks…

The doorbell rang.

"Hm… I wonder who that could be."

"Mom, NO! Don't!"

His mother, despite his protest, walked down the stairs. She dragged him along down with her by his ear. She opened the door and there stood the 'devil'. Shikamaru quickly duck out of Temari's visual range, which was behind the door.

"Temari! What a pleasant surprise." His mother and Temari smiled together. "I'd heard all about you from my son, how you are always trying to hunt him down so that you can chop him up into millions of pieces and stuff."

"So, is he here?" Temari questioned, with a tone that was almost too eager.

"Of course dear," His mother said sweetly, "after all, you can't kill without your victim. In fact…"she pulled Shikamaru out, "here he is!"

"Mom?" Shikamaru said incredulously.

"Have fun killing Shikamaru Temari," His mom shouted and waved at him as he was being dragged out of the house, "I'll miss you Shikamaru, but oh well, no worries, your father and I will have another child soon and we'll name the person in respect of you!"

Act 1, Scene 3: Complain to the 'Higher Power'

Shikamaru and his father was sitting across from each other, with a chess board in the middle.

Silence…

Shikamaru cleared his throat, "dad? I wanted to you to help me about…"

His father raised his hand, motioning him to stop. "As a father, I'm going to support you no matter what, except there are a few simple guidelines. First of all, I won't be able to help you to go against your mother. Come to think of it, don't come to me about woman…or your mother will start to get ideas and it won't be pretty for me…Go talk to your friends about your woman issues…Also…"

And his father goes on about how woman are…woman, which was totally pointless and cause Shikamaru to waste his whole day.

So what about the whole 'I'm going to support you no matter what'?

Finally, his father patted him sympathetically on the shoulder, "just accept your fate. The men of the Nara family shall always be under women. There is no escape, the more things you do to counter it, the more painful it'll be. Your father is a walking proof…"

"…"

Can someone say 'shit' for him? He didn't want to get his ass kicked by his mother…

Act 1, Extra Scene: Complain to the 'Higher Power'

Shikamaru approached his friends, "Guys…I needed help regarding about my situation and I'm wondering what I should do."

Act 1, Extra Scene 1: Ino's

Ino smiled as she walked onto the platform. Suddenly, the place darkened as there was a white light shining brightly on her. Out of nowhere, she took out a worn out book that was an inch thick and placed it on the podium before her.

(holy music starts to play)

"Shikamaru, it's time for me to tell you how woman are destined to be the rulers and men are destined to be ruled." Ino cleared her throat, "Once upon a time…"

(holy music ends)

Act 1, Extra Scene 2: Chouji

Chouji looked at Shikamaru with both of his hands occupied. One of his hands was holding onto his bag of chips while the other hand was busily transporting chips from the bag to his mouth.

Chomp, chomp, chomp.

Then Chouji shook his head, "your luck sucks Shikamaru, but I'll be there for you…mentally…May god be with you. If you need anyone to listen to you rant or anyone to help warp bandages around your injured and broken body, I'll be there for you. You can count on it. After all, I'm not your friend for nothing."

Act 1, Extra Scene 3: Shino

Shino looked at Shikamaru for a moment, before replying:

"…"

Act 1, Extra Scene 4: Kiba

Kiba laughed, "I'll be at your funeral Shikamaru."

Isn't life wonderful or what? Can it get any worse?

Act 2, Scene 1: Shikamaru Motivation!

Shikamaru and Temari were standing face to face. Shikamaru knew it won't be easy…however, that was what being a man is all about. If he wanted to get this woman off his back, then he would have to do this no matter what.

Temari gave swung her fan a few times before smirking, "so you are finally willing or face me huh. I'm going to have so much fun in this."

Shikamaru asked, "So after this, you are not going to bother me anymore?"

Temari answered, "of course. In fact, I'll get out of. In fact, I'll move to the end of the world so that you will never have to hear or see me ever again…"

She was interrupted when she felt Shikamaru's stone-hard fist on her face. She flew backward; sliding on the ground for half a mile before coming to a stop. After all, Shikamaru had gave it his all into that punch.

Temari jumped back up quickly, "so you have beaten me. I shall get out of here!"

With that, she ran out of the village…in fact, she left so fast that all everyone could see was the dust of trail which she'd left behind.

Somehow, hitting a woman felt wrong for Shikamaru but hell, he that desperate. That got to count for something right?

Act 2, Scene 2: Let's Get me Killed…

Shikamaru and Temari were standing face to face. Shikamaru knew it won't be easy…however, that was what being a man is all about. If he wanted to get this woman off his back, then he would have to do this no matter what.

Temari gave swung her fan a few times before smirking, "so you are finally willing or face me huh. I'm going to have so much fun in this."

Shikamaru asked, "so after this, you are not going to bother me anymore?"

Temari answered, "of course. In fact, I'll get out of. In fact, I'll move to the end of the world so that you will never have to hear or see me ever again…"

Shikamaru ran his hand through his hair…this was going to get hard. He had the urge to kick her ass (like he could in reality…NOTE: SARCASM INSERTED) but he had to maintain his spot, because if he doesn't, then his whole plan would be ruined…therefore…

He was going to allow himself to be owned…in hope that she'll get over him once he was… half dead…hopefully

He…will not fight back no matter how painful…how scary…

He focused back at Temari…as she came closer and closer to him.

He swallowed…okay, he HAD to stay…although he might ended up getting a few broken ribs…a massive blood loss…he might even scream like a girl during the process…and end up with a bad head concussion but…he would stay! As what Naruto had said…this is his nindo!...

That WAS his nindo until he saw what was behind Temari: Kankurai had his puppet waving at him as daggers started to slid out of the its body and Gaara smirked as sand came out of nowhere and started to swirl around behind Temari….

Okay…maybe that was a bad idea…

Therefore…this left with only one solution…

Act 3, Scene 1: Shikamaru's final decision!

Shikamaru started to sweat as he could feel Temari coming close to him…

Then he did this only thing that could ensure his safety…and it was something he was used to doing. In fact, a few times, he was starting to believe that that was his golden rule in life.

If you are being chased by some psychotic bitch…YOU GET THE HELL OUT!

And that was what he had been doing up till now…AMAZING wasn't it…and it all thanks to that 200 IQ of his really…

This was fine in the beginning but then lately...the matter between Temari and himself was really being a pain in the ass. He sighed; he was starting to wonder how pathetic he was becoming.

After all, he couldn't hide from Temari forever. What was even more frightening was that she was coming closer and closer to being able to find him in a short time. It was as if she was starting to be able to predict what he was thinking…

That alone cannot be good.

Maybe he should really have a chat with Temari…maybe he could talk his way out of this…somehow...without himself dying or being physically injured too badly…

Hope for the better right?

Right....


I just wanted to thank everyone for reading this chapter! What will happen next? Read the next chapter to find out!

PLEASE REVIEW so that I'll know what you think of the story!!! It really motivates me into writing. Once again, thank you for reading it. I hope that you like it. ;p