"YOU SHIT! I HAVE TO SUFFER JUST 'CAUSE YOU COULDN'T KEEP YOUR PANTS ON! FUCK THIS, FUCK EVERYTHING AND FUCK YOU STEVEN ROGERS!" Tony was lying on his bed with legs spread apart and was at this point, attempting to choke his husband. Jan had called the other Avengers just as Thor had asked and it turned out that Steve had been on a secret mission by himself, and since he hadn't come back dead, Tony had decided to try and change that. Thor was looking for any progress on Tony's dilation and since he was the one who was going to deliver the babe, he had put a blanket over Tony's private area in order to give the labouring man some dignity.
"That's what got us here, babe." Steve said with a smirk. He held onto his husband's hand and kissed his forehead.
"Thor, we've got the hot water and towels. Where do ya want 'em?" Clint and Hank entered both carrying things for the delivery. Hank had the towels and Clint had the water.
"Beside me please." Thor said, not looking away from Tony's birth canal. The two men walked over to Thor and put the supplies next to him. "My friends the time has come. Now Tony, who do wish to be present to witness this miracle?"
"YOU CALL THIS A 'MIRACLE'?!" Tony screamed. "AH FUCK THIS HURTS! WHOEVER WANTS TO SEE THIS STAY, WE'RE A TEAM! HOWEVER, IF YOU DON'T WANNA SEE THIS THEN GET THE FUCK OUT!" At that point, Steve tried to escape Tony's grasp. "THAT OPTION DOESN'T APPLY TO YOU, ROGERS!" Tony grabbed his husband by the collar of his shirt. With Steve holding one of Tony's hands, Jan decided to take the other.
"You're doing so well, Tony! I'm proud of you!" She said, kissing him on the cheek. "It's almost over…it's almost over…!"
The only one who left the room was Clint. Actually, Clint was taken out by Hulk after he passed out when Tony began pushing.
"WAKE UP, CLINT. YOU ARE MISSING EVERYTHING. AND I SO AM I." Hulk said trying to snap Clint back into consciousness. As Clint began to come around, the two heroes heard Tony screaming.
"Surely it can't be that painful…can it…?"
"Do not push anymore, Tony. You are now in the 'crowning stage', I need you to pant because if you push, you may tear and cause some serious damage!" Thor continued his position in between Tony's legs as Hank wiped sweat from his brow. Jan and Steve did the same with Tony.
"PLEASE, I NEED TO PUSH!" Tony began to bear down, but Steve eased him back.
"You can't, babe! Just breathe okay? You can do it, like this: 'hee hee huu…"
"Hee hee huu…hee hee huu…!" Tony squeezed his husband's hand tighter as he tried to copy Steve's breathing technique.
"The child's head is born!" Thor announced proudly. "The child has a full head of black hair, like its mother. Would you like to feel your child, Tony?"
"C-CAN I?!" Tony asked, his voice a tremble. Steve and Jan helped Tony to balance on his tail bone and then Thor took his hand. He then guided Tony down to the baby's head. "MY GOD! I DID THAT?!"
"Yes you did, love…yes you did!" Steve put his hand on top of Tony's and kissed his forehead. Suddenly Tony gasped and nearly fell back. Steve caught him and laid him back against the pillows.
"OH GOD, HERE WE GO AGAIN!" Tony screamed as the next contraction came.
"Push, Tony!" Thor said. Tony bore down and pushed…but nothing happened this time. Realisation then hit Hank.
"Stop Thor! Stop telling Tony to push! It's the umbilical cord; it has to be wrapped around the baby's neck!" Tony nearly stopped breathing. He squeezed both of his friends' hands really tightly as tears formed in his eyes. "Hang on, Tony! We're going to try and loosen the cord…almost had it…got it! The head's free! PUSH NOW TONY!" Tony bore down and pushed the rest of the baby out and then fell back against the pillows.
"It's a girl!" Thor and Hank said in unison. Tony smiled and closed his eyes.
"Well done, babe. I love you!" Steve said locking lips with Tony.
"…oh no…" The kiss was broken when Thor spoke. Silence then filled the room.
"Why isn't she crying…?!" Tony asked, his smile faded.
