Girls talk, Boys listen, Girls get shopping trip
by LuckyDetective
Disclaimer: Own by Marvel and Disney. And I ship Steve x Natasha
Author's note: back by popular demand and be sure to check out "Girls Talk, Boys listen" as I redid the chapter again for those who didn't see.
"I guess I should call you now Captain who all our girlfriend want to slap his ass America" Tony narrowed his eyes at Steve who rolled his eyes.
"At least your behind is safe" Steve countered. "Now I feel like I have to watch my back around them or one of them will slap my behind"
"I wish Pepper would slap my butt" Tony sighed "I can't believe she likes your butt better" Steve just stared at Tony.
"Don't forget the fact Pepper had bigger weenies" added the ever so helpful Clint with a smile.
"Thank you Clint" Bruce rolled his eyes while Tony sighed.
"While it is true the ladies prefer the behind of Captain America, it may have been for the best we should have not listen on to their conversation to begin with. Knowing too much of what they would not voice to us could sow seeds of discord among us" Thor said thoughtfully.
"So is agreed we never do this again and let's hope they never found out" Steve said. Bruce then added
"Activate the self-destruction on the bug Tony. You don't want them found out about it."
"Fine" Tony agreed as he turn on the bug instead. Before anyone could object to it, Jane asked everyone a question that everyone seemed interested in hearing the answer. Everyone expect for Steve who wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer to.
"Anyone else you ladies like to have a one night stand with, given the chance?" Jane asked. Everyone looked at each other.
"I like to try Tony's "wave"" Jane smiled.
"And I would like to try Thor's hammer" Pepper countered.
"I like to be Roger's first" Natasha smiled a cat like smile.
"What about you Betty?" Pepper asked and Betty just shrugged.
"To be honest I don't know and I feel bad thinking of that. Given Bruce's condition" Betty sighed sadly.
"Is your boyfriend not good in the sack?"
Everyone turn to the voice a older man approaching Betty. Betty turn around to look at them.
"Can I help you?" Natasha asked him calmly.
"How about I get your name and your number" the man winked at Betty.
"I'm happily taken" Betty smiled at him.
"Doesn't your boyfriend have some kind of condition. What is he impotent or something?" There was a awful silence that suddenly fell on the group. All the ladies looked at each other and were thinking the same thought "thank god Bruce didn't hear that or he would be flat as a pancake.
"Excuse me!" Betty glared at the rude man and before Betty could say anything else, there was a loud crash and loud thunderous voice that boomed:
"HULK MAKE YOU IMPOTENT!"
The whole room was silent as random guy who didn't know he had a death wish just accused Bruce of being impotent. Tony ran out the door to be suited up while the rest watched as Bruce just snapped and turn green with rage. Of course they could have tried to say something, anything but instead took a step back and watch as Hulk leap out of the window with Iron Man flying after him. Thor swing his hammer and Rogers hanged on to him as they both went after them. Clint stayed behind as he reasoned A) they got the Hulk B) he gets to listen in on them as the ladies will no doubt figure out Tony bugged them.
Iron Man was able to grab Hulk in time before he landed, thereby preventing a Hulk crater from being made. The ladies stared as Hulk dangled in mid-air with Iron man holding on to him. Meanwhile the guy stared in horror.
"Easy big guy" Iron man soothed Hulk who kept trying to make a grab at the guy that made that impotent comment. Betty smirked as she noticed the guy was on the floor with a noticeable wet patch on his pants.
"Tin man let go Hulk. Hulk wants to smash puny human to mush" Hulk growled at the man who looked like he was seeing his life flash before his eyes.
"Wait a minute! How did you know what he said?" Betty glared at Hulk. Hulk looked at Betty in surprise and then looked down.
"Hulk don't know" Hulk pouted and Betty glared at him and Hulk looked on the floor.
"Hulk sorry" Hulk said sadly while Betty continued to glare.
"Were you guys listening to us?!" Betty asked the pouting Hulk.
"It was Tin man's idea" Hulk said. "Tin man put bug in pretty red hair bag"
"Oh thanks a lot big guy!" Iron man yelled. "The incredible telltale!
"Don't yell at him and call him names!" Betty scolded Iron man while Hulk looked at the ground sadly.
"I can't believe you guys were listening to us!" Jane said. Pepper instantly looked into her pursue to find the bug and crushed it. She stalked towards Iron man as he gently let go of the Hulk who made a large dent on the pavement.
"Tony..." Pepper narrowed her eyes at him as Tony held up his hands.
"How about we all go shopping...in Paris...hell...why not all over the world...on my credit card." Tony backed away from angry Pepper.
"Tony if you think you can...well..." Pepper smiled "That does sound nice. And you guys can hold our bags" Meanwhile Thor arrived with Steve in tow. Hulk continue to look sad then Betty gently patted his head.
"Is okay Bruce" Betty said softly seeing a sad Hulk was too much. It was like a large baby. "I forgive you." Hulk smiled at Betty and she kissed him on the top of the head.
"Forgive us Jane" Thor kneeled before Jane once he and Steve landed safety.
"Curiosity got the better of us. All I can do is beg for your forgiveness" Jane smiled. She had to admit, part of her attraction to Thor was how he talks.
"You are forgiven" Jane said charitable. "I need someone to help me carry my bags as Tony so generously offered a shopping spree around the world."
"Did you listen as well?" Natasha asked Steve.
"I'm afraid so" Steve answered. "I'll be careful around you ladies, seeing how everyone loves my behind."
"Oh you don't need to worry. I'll be glad to watch over it" Natasha smiled and held out her arm to Steve.
"While everyone else can enjoy the shopping spree, why don't you show me around NY city as if it was still 1940s?" Steve took her arm and smiled.
"Sure."
