Chapter 2: Epic Comrades
So DEN! Some dude in armor runs in. "HAS ANYONE SEEN A SMALL TEEN WITH BLONDE HAIR AND A RED COAT?"
Blade: Ummmm...yea he's right there. *points to the small teen with blonde hair and a red coat sitting opposite him.*
Al: OOOOOOOHHHH!
Izze: We were just talking about you.
Al: O rly?
Izze: No.
Al: T_T
Blade and Ed: -_-"
Al: Well can I join you?
Blade: *whispers to Izze* I don think he'll fit.
Al: WHAT WAS THAT!
Blade: I said I don't think you'll fit.
Al: Oh * slams ben's head into table*
Izze and Ed: -_-"
Blade: AAAAAAANYWAYS! Hai I'm Blade the dude who keeps changing his weapon (the name I just made up five minutes ago...)
Izze: Hai Im Izze the Ice Alchemist. (the name I made up four and 3/4 minutes ago.)
Ed: Yes I know.
Blade: WELL WHO SAID WE WERE TALKING TO YOU SHORTY!
Ed: ONOUDIDNT!
Blade: OYESIDID!
Ed: I WILL KILL YOU!
Blade: Hes mad.
Ed: SPAAAAAAARRRRTAAAAAAAAAAA!
Blade and Ed fight a bunch.
Blade: Wait a second!
Blade claps his hands together and and a giant tornado appears and hits Ed right in the face!
Ed: OW MY LEG!
Ed: Damn I didn't know he could do that!
Blade epically does a triple backflips and makes two swords out of...something, and Izze randomly conures up 29436464 grenades and threw them all at Ed and den it ESPLODED all over the place and Blade ROFLed so hard but then Ed got up so Izze just conveniently had a wind circle set up so she made a whirlwind of DOOM!
A giant (like big) jet of wind hits Ed and he goes flying back and his arm falls off. His left arm. No jk his right arm.
Winry: DAMN U ED MY GOD STOP BREAKING UR ARM!
Izze: Where did you come from?
Winry: WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW HUH?
Izze: ummm...
Winry: SHUT UR FACE!
Izze: -_-" *throws Winry into Ed*
Blade: Well that was pretty easy...
Ed: I wasn't ready!
Blade: Riiiiiiiight.
Bartender: (yes were in a bar) GETOUTNOFIGHTING!
Izze: Oh look a convenient window to conveniently escape out of!
Everybody runs away.
Winry ran away crying to herself.
Ed: WAIT WINRY I LUVS U! NOOOOOO!
Izze: So you DO like her...
Ed: NO I DONT STOP ACCUSING ME OF STUFF IM NOT DOING!
Izze: (freezes Ed in a block of ice and throws him out the nearest window)
Izze: WAIT! Why did I throw out one of my favorite characters?
Omniscient Narrator: Because I made you.
Izze: WHOWUSTHAT!
ON: Im the narrator of this story.
Izze: Oooooooh! WAIT UR MEAN!
ON: Well that's life.
Izze: .\_/.
(Meanwhile at some other random part of Central which is actually the best known cafe around)
Al: (slamming Blade's head into the table repeatedly) This is fun!
Blade: If I could get my hands together you would die. Oh wait I can!,
Blade: (tries to blow Al away but he's too heavy) DAMMIT! (fills the armor with water by blowing a barrel of it into Al)
Al: NOES! I CANT MOVE!
Blade: HaHA! I hath foiled thou knavish ploy.
Al: Excuse me?
Blade: I don't know I just said that out of nowhere.
ON: (Laughing to self)
Blade: (creates a whirlwind around Alphonse and Al goes flying out the window)
Blade: Why did I just throw out one of my favorite characters?
Izze: (Appears out of nowhere) Ive been having the same problem!
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Al: (slams Ed's head into a tree) THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! IF YOU HADNT MADE THE NARRATOR MAD WE WOULDNT BE HERE!
Ed: Where are we?
Al: NEW JERSEY!
Ed: EEK! NOT NEW JERSEY! Where in New Jersey?
Al: The sign here says...Something ending with an n but I can't see the rest.
Ed: HMHMHMHMMMHMJMJMMHNJHBUNHJM!
Al: O_o
Ed: I'm thinking.
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Blade: Three twos.
Izze: One three.
Blade: BS!
Izze: No.
Blade: Dammit.
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Al: Ed I'm bored.
Ed: You've been saying that every three seconds for the past four hours.
Al: Ed I'm bored.
A whirlwind appears below them and they suddenly appear in what looks like an apartment, but it's way to messy to know.
Ed: It looks like a storm hit here.
Blade: It did. Hurricane Katrina got bored and came back.
Izze: Funny how it only hit here...hmmmm...
Blade: Wanna play BS?
Al: Sure...
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Blade: IM BORED!,
Izze: Well...you don't have to yell about it.
Blade: ARDGRGEHFFIJFNUWUKBWKUHOU!
Izze: ...
Ed: Why don't we go find some random people to beat up?
Blade: WOOT! YEAH! LETSDOIT!
Izze: Whaaaaaatever.
(everyone runs off)
(A few piled up bodies and some blood later...)
Al: That was fun!
Blade: All you did was slam peoples heads into everything.
Al: EXACTLY!
Riza Hawkeye: Hey guys what's up?
Izze: Oh hey Lieutenant we were just beating up some peoples.
Hawkeye: O my em gee those are all the guys on the top ten most wanted list how exciting! If Colonel Mustang was here he would be happy.
Izze: (freezes all the baddies in a block of ice) Here you go...
Hawkeye: GEEEEE THANKS GUYS UR THE BESTEST!
BladeIzzeEdAl: -_-"
Blade: Hey what's that?
Some random scientist dude: Oh hey would u like to try out my new teleporter?
Izze: Ummm...no (runs up and steals teleporter and runs off)
Some random scientist dude: HEEEEY GIVES IT BAK PLZ!
Blade: (Throws random scientist dude into the Eiffel tower which is a looooong way away.)
Izze: (freezes dude onto tower so he can't escape)
BladeIzze: !LOLOLOLO
And den suddenly ROY MUSTANG appears!
Blade: ummmmmmmmm...hi?
Roy: Yo wassup homies?
Izze: *stabs Roy in the eyes* never say that again
Roy: NOT AGAIN!
Izze: Wait, why did I just stab one of my favorite characters
OmniscientNarrator: LOL this is fun
(Everyone teleports away)
Roy: So...how did you get automail arms.
Blade: I tried to bring my fish back to life and That Thing thought I was trying to bring a human back to life. So I explained the situation and he said he was bored so he took my arm. It's my left too. IM A LEFTY DAMMIT!
Izze: I told That Thing that he was a perv for not wearing clothes so he took my arm as punishment...
Roy: Oh...
Blade: CAN YOU AT LEAST FORM A SENTENCE INSTEAD OF SAYING OH ALL THE TIME! (hits Roy with keyblade)
UR LUCKY THAT YOU DONT HAVE UR HEAD TAKEN OFF RIGHT NOW!
Roy: Owwies...
Izze: Do you want ice for that? (impales Roy with giant ice block)
Roy: My head hurts...
Blade: (hits Roy again) MAKE LONGER SENTENCES!
Al and Ed: (still playing UNO oblivious to the beating of Roy)
(Meanwhile somewhere else)
Envy: IM BORED!
Lust: Shutup.
Envy: NO IM BORED AND IM FREE TO EXPRESS THAT!
Greed: No seriously shutup.
Gluttony: OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!
Envy: Waaaaiiiit! Aren't you supposed to be dead?
Greed: Yes.
Envy: ...
Greed: I feel like beating people up.
Lust: YEAH! LETSDOIT!
(Meanwhile back to our rambunctious crew)
Blade: Wouldn't it be so funny if a male cross dresser with spiky hair crashed through the window right now.
Envy(aka cross dresser): (smashes through window) I HATE YOU ALL!
Blade: (throws knife which impales Envy on the head) *sigh*
(Meanwhile in a random classroom which I stole the idea from one of Izze's stories)
Teacher: Bobby? What is Lust?
Bobby: Lust is a hot chick who has giant spikes that come out of her fingers. Oh and she hangs out with fat people and cross dressers.
Teacher: Umm...-_-"
Class: -_-"
Izze: BLAAAAAAADE! YOU JUST STOLE MY STORY IDEA! I am so sueing you...*walks away mumbling*
(Back at the LAIR OF THE COOLNESS PEOPLE!)
Al: MEOW!
Ed: AL!
Al: That wasn't me! It was the kitty cat!
Ed: *sigh*
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Führer King Bradley: I WILL KILLS U ALL!
Blade: Y?
Brad: BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT MY WRATH WILL KILL YOU ALL! AND MY NAME ISNT BRAD!
Blade: Is ur name Wrath?
Brad: URGGGGG! I KILL YOU!
(insert epic battle)
(JK I'm gonna write it this time)
Izze who just appeared out of nowhere: Well...every story has to have at least one serious part...(claps hands and slams them onto the floor and nothing comes out.
Brad: THERES NOTHING THERE!
Izze: Thats what YOU think! (Hits Brad in the side with invisible sword)
Brad: OWWIES! AND CALL ME WRATH!
ON: Fine...
Blade: (claps hands and brings giant cleaver out of wall) U die. (Thows knives)
Wrath: (gets hit in the leg) OWS MY LEG U EVIL PEOPLE!
Blade: (swings cleaver and cuts Wrath's head off then waits for it to grow back, then cuts it off again and again and again and again and again)
Izze: (joins in cutting various body parts off Brad I mean Wrath)
Izze: HOW LONG DO YOU LAST!
Wrath: A pretty long time...
Izze: (creates icy lake under Brad) HAHA U ARE STILL CALLED BRAD!
Brad: No not ice water! (starts freezing)
Blade: (uses gust of wind to push Brad under the water)
Brad: (freezes and dies)
Blade: Is he dead yet?
Izze: I think so...
Lust: NOOOO HE CANT DIE!
Blade: (throws Lust into water) You hang out with the wrong people...
Izze: Im bored now.
Blade: I KNOW WHERE TO GO! ED! AL! COME HERE!
(inside the RV)
Al: MEOW!
Blade: Was that you Izze?
Izze: Im not a cat...
Blade: Ooooooooh!
Izze: (punches Blade)
Blade: It was just a joke...
Ed: AL PUT THAT CAT BACK WHERE HE BELONGS!
Al: ED! Ur so mean!
Blade: Where iz te kitteh?
Al: Here...(gives cat to blade)
Cat: MEOW! (sees green chair than freaks out and rubs itself on it, then sees green toothpaste and eats it all)
Izze: It really like green doesn't it. (presses button and chairs turn purple) Thats better.
Cat: HISS!ROWR!
Blade: I shall name him...
GREEN OTAKU!
Izze: Seriously?
Blade: Yes, I happen to think it's a good name, thank you not rly very much.
Otaku: MEOW!PURRRRR!PURR!PURR!
Blade: See, he likes me.
Izze: His eyes aren't even green...
(cats eyes turn green)
Blade: Cool...
(cats eyes go rave)
Izze: I feel dizzy...(faints)
Blade: I think this can come in handy. :D
Otaku: :D
