Hm. Not many people are reading this story, compared to my other ones... Plenty of people are reviewing, however, which makes me happy! Thank you very much!
Anyway, lets get on with this twisted tale.
Dr. Insane-O continued to scream as he sailed through the sky. He was zooming across the Soul Society just a few feet off the ground, and every few seconds he would crash through one side of a building and out the other. This went on for about a minute before he finally lost speed and hit the ground. He rolled far too many times to count before slamming into a tree and coming to a stop. He stood facing the tree for a few seconds, and then he dropped to the ground limply and didn't get back up. "That was fun..." he commented once he'd recovered from the shock and awe of what he'd been through.
Dr. Insane-O stood up and dusted himself off. A few people were staring at him from inside their houses. A few of the braver ones had actually comes outside for a better view. "Hey look, people!" Dr. Insane-O stumbled forward. "Maybe they can help me find... something!" He staggered over to a wise old man standing by his front door. "Excuse me my good sir, can you tell me where I can find a job?"
"A job?" the old man stared at him in confusion. He had no idea who this crazy guy was, what he wanted, or why he was dressed so stupidly.
"Yeah, a job," he replied. "I'm stuck here, so I assume I'll need a source of income. Where can I find a job?"
"Aw, poor thing. Did you just recently die?" the old man seemed to feel sorry for new arrivals to the Soul Society.
"I dunno. I DID just get thrown through a lot of walls..." Dr. Insane-O removed a small sliver of wood from his hair.
"Hm. Well, I'm afraid I cannot tell you a reliable source. You see, many of the people here do not have jobs, so you're going to have to fight tooth and nail to get one before them," the old man replied.
"Tooth and nail?" Dr. Insane-O arched an eyebrow. "So I'll need a weapon, too... Oh hey, what's your job?"
"I don't have a job," the old man shook his head.
"Then how do you support yourself and make money?" Dr. Insane-O stared at the old man.
"Stocks and stuff," the old man smirked at him.
"Oh, right..." he nodded his head and turned to walk away. "Right, right... stocks and stuff..."
---
"Ouuuuuch..." Agent HUNK was sprawled out on the ground, staring at the sky. He'd been thrown around the Seireitei several times, and his kevlar vest had quite a few dents and gouges in it. He was too tired to get up and run again, so he figured he'd just sit there for a minute and catch his breath. At least it was a bright and sunny day. "I wonder if it rains in the Soul Society..." he thought out loud.
"It rains blood, if you're lucky..." a voice chuckled from behind him.
H tilted his head back enough to see who it was. "Oh snap..." he muttered weakly. Zaraki Kenpachi was standing behind him, a sly smile plastered across his face.
"So you're the guy Gin was talking about..." Kenpachi surveyed the tresspasser. "Yeah... you look strong..." he seemed to be talking more-so to himself than Agent HUNK.
"Strong?" Agent HUNK chuckled. "Mr. Zaraki, I am afraid you are mistaken. I would not present much a of a challenge to you. Fighting me would be waste of your time."
"Heh, how'd you know my name?" Kenpachi smirked. "And I'm pretty sure you'd be a good challenge. Don't sell yourself short. Now get up and fight me."
"That's okay, I'll pass," Agent HUNK waved at him from the ground.
"No. You won't. Get up!" Kenpachi snarled.
"Dude! I just got impaled 7 times and thrown all over the Seireitei! Give me a minute to catch my-" Agent HUNK was interupted by Kenpachi reaching down and grabbing him by the throat. He then lifted him off the ground and stood him up on his feet. "Breath..."
"Now draw your weapon and fight me..." Kenpachi placed his hand on the hilt of his Zanpakto.
"Er..." Agent HUNK looked around for some way out of this bizarre situation. There wasn't one. "Um... hey wait!" he suddenly exclaimed. "Before we fight, can I do something real fast? It won't be a problem. I want to take a photograph of you to show my friends if I survive!"
"A photograph?" Kenpachi looked at him in confusion. "What is that?"
"Ta-da!" Agent HUNK pulled a polaroid camera out from behind is back. "Long story short, I press a button and a piece of paper will come out with an image of you on it."
"Hm, I suppose so..." Kenpachi shrugged.
"Great! Now just smile, and I'll..." Agent HUNK hit the flash. Kenpachi screamed and clawed at his eye in agony. "RUN FOR MY LIFE!!!!!" And with that, Agent HUNK took off running, hoping to escape before his opponent's vision returned.
---
"I've got to get some cash, or a weapon... or both..." Dr. Insane-O walked through the crowd of spirits around, lost in thought. "There's got to be an easy way to... aha!"
Standing up ahead was a Soul Reaper. He was just an average run-of-the-mill Shinigami. He was standing there smoking, completely unaware of what Dr. Insane-O was planning. Sneakily, the madman crept up behind the Soul Reaper and reached into his lab coat. He pulled out a rubber chicken, his only weapon. Slowly, he raised it into the air, and with a fierce battle cry, brought it down on the Soul Reaper's head. The Shinigami slowly turned around to see what had hit him. "What are you doing?"
"Trying to kill you with a rubber chicken and take your stuff..." Dr. Insane-O shrugged.
WHAM.
The Soul Reaper drew his Zanpakto and smashed the handle into Dr. Insane-O's face. He fell to the dirt in a crumpled heap. The Soul Reaper smirked, sheathed his weapon, and walked away. "THOU HAST FELLED THE INSANE-O!!!" Dr. Insane-O exclaimed, pointing a weak finger at the sky. "OF EXPERIENCE, THOU HAST GAINED NONE!!!"
Madness. Plain and simple madness. Review, please!
