Tadashi stared at the ceiling above his bed.

It should have gone like this:

Tsukki would ask 'Why are you drooling over a naked picture of Aoba Johsai's captain, Tadashi?'. Tadashi would shove the phone in his pocket, launch into the Yamaguchi Grin, try his best to fumble with a cover story. He'd talk and talk, come up with lines about malware, and prank links sent from a friend, and did he mention this isn't even his phone? What's a phone, Tsukki? Where am I? What day is it?

And Tsukki would hold on to his glare until eventually he'd had enough. It was never long until he'd had enough. He'd reach out and lean against the fence, one arm either side of Tadashi's neck, and gaze deep into his eyes.

"Tadashi," he'd say. "Stop it."

The Yamaguchi Grin would vanish.

"Tsukki," the name would squeak out, and his cheeks would flush pink. "I..."

"Shh."

And he would shh.

And their foreheads would touch.

And he'd be able to feel Tsukki's breath on his lips when he spoke again.

"Tadashi," Tsukki would whisper. "I've been such a fool."

And their lips would be unbearably close, and it would be him—Tadashi!—who closed the distance. The kiss would be everything, and it would start raining or something romantic like that, and all the after school clubs would rush over to mark the moment. Chamber orchestra club would score it. Mood lighting club would make sure they both looked their best. Gardening club would dust them with the petals of a hundred cherry blossom trees.

"You want Oikawa instead of me, and it's all my fault. I ignored my feelings for too long," Tsukki would say. "Forgive me. Forgive this Great Fool."

And he'd answer.

"Oh, Tsukki. If it's a choice between a Great King and a Great Fool, then I am in love with a fool."

The rest would just be kissing. For hours. Maybe forever.

Back in his room, Tadashi ran a hand through his hair and sagged.

That's not how it happened, though.

Wasn't how it would ever happen.

Instead, Tsukki kept true to his word and stayed away from the topic of Oikawa and the Gay Japan News. They'd talked about practice, and the original ways Kageyama had managed to annoy Tsukki today, and how they hated the pile of homework waiting for them at home. Tadashi saw him off at the door of his house and walked the final few minutes home, where he plugged in his phone and lay in his bed.

It was awkward and uncomfortable, and it was all Oikawa's fault. Big mouth Oikawa with his hypnotic abs, and whatever those lines are called beneath his hips that disappear into his shorts. Why'd he have to make it all 'Hollywood' and actually come out? If he'd kept it to himself like everyone else did—like he was supposed to—he'd never have muscled his way into Tadashi's Twitter feed. With his muscles.

Tsukki would have seen nothing, and everything would be fine.

He blinked at the ceiling and pushed out a sigh.

The counterpart to his grin: the Yamaguchi Sigh.

Grinning long enough was guaranteed to bring out the Yamaguchi Sigh. He practised it every time he was disappointed or tired or sad, and by now it was pitch perfect. Even his Karasuno team mates knew about it.

Everyone had their trademark thing. Kageyama had the perfect quick pass. Hinata was the ultimate decoy. Nishinoya had Rolling Thunder. Asahi had his power spike.

He had a grin and a sigh.

Awesome.

He closed his eyes and immersed himself in the dark. His heart in his head was all that stopped things from plunging into total silence. He let it pump out a rhythm for a little while, then forced himself to sit up.

He sniffed at his arm pit, which smelled like a volleyball match. Time to bathe and think about something other than Oikawa Tooru.

All the while he showered, and bathed, and showered again, he didn't think once about Oikawa's cheeky come-to-bed smile. Or how he used that smiling mouth to kiss other men on their mouths. And he certainly didn't think about how that would feel, and whether Oikawa was as good at kissing as he was at sport. Because obviously he was. Men who weren't good at kissing didn't come out to the entire country when they were eighteen. That sort of confidence implied exceptional kissing skills.

Back in his room, he still wasn't thinking about it as he half-assed his homework. Though claiming half-ass might've been a bit much. He'd committed, at most, an eighth of an ass to Japanese and Science. English got slightly more ass, but he was worse overall at the subject. To an impartial observer it was a sixteenth at most.

But it took his mind off Oikawa at least, who got no fraction of ass at all.

His phone only lit up once all night—a message from Sugawara asking everyone to be at practice a little earlier tomorrow morning. He sent back the smiley that Tsukki once said looked like his grin and left it at that.

No grumpy messages from Tsukki. No string of 'kittens sleeping' videos from Hinata. It was entirely quiet, like nothing at all had happened since practice ended this afternoon. By the time midnight came around and he was sprawled out in bed, he was almost convinced nothing had.

Tsukki hadn't seen anything incriminating. Oikawa had chosen to come out on a niche gay site where nobody would ever notice it. It was all a storm in a tiny, tiny teacup. One of those Italian espresso shot cups. Come tomorrow, nothing would change. Oikawa would just be the Great King of Aoba Johsai, and Tadashi would be the guy who grinned and sighed his way through every day.

Nothing would come of it. Nothing ever did.


"Oikawa is GAY?" Hinata shouted.

Tadashi could feel his face drain of blood as he watched the club room erupt. Sugawara and Daichi had gathered them around and made the announcement before morning practice. Sugawara passed his tablet around with the article up, and there was a team surge to get a look at it.

"Does he mean 'happy'?" Tanaka asked. "Maybe he just means happy."

"Yes, Tanaka," Nishinoya said. "He did an interview and photo shoot with Gay News Japan to let everyone know he's feeling happy."

"Photo shoot?"

"Yeah, look. See?"

"Whaa! How does he get so chiselled?"

"Photoshop," Kageyama said, voice stern. "Definitely."

Tadashi took two half-hearted steps toward the frothing group of his team mates and caught sight of the photo again. It looked better on Suga's screen.

"How did you find this, Suga?" Asahi asked.

"I didn't," Sugawara said. "Yachi did. She said her friend from Date Tech got a text from her friend at Shiratorizawa High, and she was browsing Twitter when she saw one of her friends from Ougiminami High link to her friend's Tumblr. That friend goes to Aoba Johsai, and she said it was like there'd been a funeral only the girls at the school were invited to. It didn't take long for Yachi to find the article. She sent it to Daichi and me last night."

"With a warning not to open it in front of anyone," Daichi said. "For which I'm grateful."

Tadashi was sure he was shaking all over. He could tell Tsukki was looking at him, but he kept his eyes forward and shrugged into his training gear.

"Why are you so excited?" Kageyama said to Hinata.

"It's cool, don't you think?" Hinata said. "The Great King, he's doing something nobody's done before! That's brave, right?"

"It doesn't affect me one way or the other."

"Well it affects me!" Nishinoya yelled, clamoring atop one of the wooden benches in the corner. Tadashi looked around, heart slamming against his rib cage. "More girls for Yu!"

"Ha ha!" Tanaka yelled. "You're right! His fans will need a shoulder to cry on. Oh Tanaka-kun, I am so sad that my Tooru only kisses boys! Comfort me!"

"And you, Nishinoya-kun!" Nishinoya added, taking an invisible girl in his arms and cradling her.

The tablet finally made its way back to Suga, and Tadash was able to turn his back on the room again. He slid his elbow guards over his wrists as slowly as he could.

"It brings a whole new meaning to his favourite saying, doesn't it?" Tanaka said, and Tadashi watched him from the corner of his eye.

"What do you mean?" Asahi said.

"You know!" Tanaka said, thrusting his hips forward. "If you're going to hit it—"

"Hit it 'til it breaks!" Nishinoya joined in, sticking his butt out behind him.

They both collapsed to the floor laughing.

"Oi!" Daichi said. "Okay, enough. We didn't bring this up so you could laugh yourselves sick. I want to be very clear."

Tanaka and Nishinoya picked themselves up, and all eyes and ears fell on Daichi.

"This doesn't change anything. Oikawa has made a personal choice and that's as far as it goes. None of you will treat him any differently than you already do, or you'll answer to me. Understood? Tanaka, Nishinoya, I want you to say it."

"Understood, Captain!" Tanaka said.

"I mean it," Daichi said. "You can joke, but if I—or Suga, or anyone else—feel it's crossed the line, I will pull you from the team. With my own two hands."

"It's fine, Captain!" Nishinoya said. "Really. My little cousin's gay and we get along great. I'm a very modern and mature man. Everyone says so."

Sugawara smiled. "Absolutely nobody has ever said that."

"Senpai!" Nishinoya said, clutching his chest.

"All right, all right," Daichi said. "Hinata, Kageyama. Say it."

"I still hate him," Kageyama said. "But not because of this."

Daichi nodded. It was the best Kageyama would give.

Hinata looked between the tablet and his Captain.

"Am I allowed to say anything to him?"

"Say anything?" Daichi said. "Like what?"

"Like, you know! 'Good for you' or 'You're awesome' or something like that?"

Kageyama smacked him on the back of the head.

"Never call him awesome."

"But—"

Daichi cleared his throat.

"Use your judgement. If you want to be supportive, go ahead. I had just better not hear the hint of a whisper about Karasuno being bullies. Oikawa did this to make things easier for gay kids in sport, not harder. Tsukishima? Yamaguchi? You hear me?"

Tadashi's whole body froze. He was half-on with one of his knee pads, stuck there staring at it like he'd forgotten what it was. His hands didn't work. He flapped them at the black padding like they were balloons tied to sticks.

Say something, he thought. Quick. QUICK.

Tsukki's quiet voice saved him.

"I care no more or less about Oikawa Tooru now than I did yesterday," Tsukki said, and cold relief surged through Tadashi. The sound of Tsukki reminded him what hands were, and how knee guards worked, and that he needed to answer his Captain.

There was only one thing for it.

By the time he brought himself upright from his crouch, the Yamaguchi Grin was working its magic.

"Of course, Captain!" he said, eyes half-closed from the force of his smile. "It's not a problem."

Please don't ask me anything else. Please don't. Please don't…

"Okay," Sugawara said, aloud to the room, not just to Tadashi. "Thanks, everyone. Sorry we had to do that. We're feeling our way through this as we go. If you think we're doing it wrong, tell us. Or Mr. Takeda. We'll just have to do our best to avoid being clueless jock cliches."

Asahi laughed.

"You have a way with words, Suga," he said.

A ripple of approval went around the room, and a minute later they filed out for morning practice. Tadashi sat heavily on a chair, his shoes still untied, and stared at them. Tsukki wasn't leaving. Suga, Daichi, Nishinoya, Tanaka…all of them finished dressing and took off, one-by-one, until Tsukki was the only one left.

Tadashi play-acted trouble tying his shoes.

Please don't ask me anything. Please don't—

"Are you all right?" Tsukki said.

The grin snapped to life again. He had no choice.

"Sure," he said. "I'm fine."

Tsukki stared at him, and Tadashi stared back.

Please don't ask m—

"Look, meet me at the rooftop for lunch," Tsukki said. "I think we should talk privately."

Tadashi's head was a mess of noise and fuzz, and he almost didn't catch what Tsukki was saying. He watched him walk toward the club room door, then stop and turn back.

"And leave that stupid grin behind."

Tsukki swept through the door and slammed it closed. Now, with the club room empty, Tadashi had nothing left to do but tie his shoes. Lace up. Get out to practice. Get on with the day.

Oikawa Tooru, he thought. You selfish bastard.

Daichi said he'd come out publicly to make things easier on gay kids in sport. Well, he missed the mark for Tadashi Yamaguchi. Missed it so bad he'd done the complete opposite, and made things a thousand times harder.

All his breath flooded out of him as he finished tying his shoe.

The perfectly honed Yamaguchi Sigh.

Somehow, he had to find the enthusiasm to play volleyball.

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A/N: This is being posted behind schedule. For the most most recent updates (Up to chapter 7 so far), visit AO3: /works/5107319/chapters/11749094