I call Usagi to tell her that it's going to be Jadeite who's with me today. As the guys insist to be around me on our dates (pointing out that some of these dates have been deadly in the past), Usagi usually brings one of the girls, so it's not too awkward. Sometimes, it's fun, like a double date. Zoisite and Minako are fun, but with the other senshi, Zoisite is shy, and he generally suffers in crowded places. Kunzite is fun with Minako, too, and with Makoto. Kunzite and Rei can be sweet together, or horrible, it depends. Kunzite and Ami... isn't even imagineable. Nephrite is uncomplicated with senshi, but picks fights with everyone else who looks at us in a funny way.
Jadeite would theoretically be fun. He likes to socialize, is easy to entertain and doesn't lecture me. Usagi adores him. He would be fun to have around. If it wasn't for...
"Fine, I'll tell Rei to come over!"
This.
Jadeite. Is. Dead.
"Usagi... please... is that really a good idea?"
"Aw, they're so cute together! Jadeite likes her!"
"No, he doesn't. And Rei hates him. She'll bugger him all the time."
There is a special giggle on girls. Anyone of you who's had a girlfriend will know what I mean and feel an icy coldness creep into their guts.
*giggle* "... but he likes that!"
"She will torture him!"
"He likes that too!"
"But I don't! I don't like to watch it. How about that?"
"Mamoru, you know how Jadeite-kun is often so depressed and not getting over the Dark Kingdom and all. But he's really spirited when he's with us. Don't you agree this is a good thing?"
"Well... the ends doesn't always justify the means..."
"Don't be so lame, Mamoru Chiba! This is going to be fun! I tell you, we'll bring them together."
I. Am. Dead.
"Kunzite will throw a fit."
*giggle* "...then tell him from me that I am the senshi of love and justice, and if he interfers with my mighty matchmaking powers, I'll punish him. Tell him if hear one single complaint about his attitude, he's next on my list. I have lots of cute girlfriends who adore grumpy old men."
Have you ever shuddered so hard that you almost dropped your phone?
"Usagi... I love you more than words can say... but I'm not going to tell Kunzite that."
"Ah, that's okay. Sorry I bothered you with it, honey. I'll tell him myself."
"Usagiiiii..."
But she's already hung up, no doubt to giggle some more.
I turn to Jadeite.
"Guess who she'll bring."
"I heard it."
"Is that a smile on your face?"
"Last time, I won."
"That's exactly what's worrying me. Rei has had a lot of time to grudge. She will roast you."
"Yeah..."
"Look, Jadeite... I know you think this is just a game, but be careful. This can be serious in a heartbeat. Remember what happened last time, and how you promised this isn't going to happen again. Ever. Don't mess with Rei today. Be nice. Okay?"
"Of course, Master. If it's your wish, I'll be extra nice."
Somehow, I don't have a good feeling about this.
