Smexy Championship
Oh! I'ze a beeze a backs! Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
It's sortof funny, cause I never left! You see, when I make a story, I always post the first three chappies together! That way, you can decide if you really want to finish reading my story, with a bigger selection and sample! Hooray!
(excluding one shots)
This is my third story! Hooray! I believe I have this story scheduled for 5 chappies! NOT A LOT I KNOW! But my previous story is 25 chapters already, and I only started 3 months ago! It's extremely long, because I'm having difficulty on finding ways to end it! I'm still not finished!
So I finally decided "screw it!" I'm started this story, cause I've waited long enough!
Special thankyou to: JC (not my partner AR), because she helped me come up with this story! Without you, it wouldn't exist!
Special MEAN SNIDE SARCASTIC thankyou to: AR! Who didn't help at all! Bugger face!
JUST SO YOU KNOW: I will talk about the the person AR a lot, so just to clarify things, AR is my partner. NO! NOT THAT KIND OF PARTNER! He/She is my writing partner, we share an account! I am "AC"! She/he has written the story "The Stupid Idiot", it's hilarious! So check it out! And while your at it, check out my other stories, "Seta Kaibelle", and "Beating up a CEO in a back alley!". Ummm… Seta Kaibelle has a really stupid title, but it's not what you think! Or is it? Read the summaries.
Chapter 2:
Seto Kaiba sat in his parlor, drinking brandy.
(huge smack) "OWWW! What was that for?"
"HE'S FRICKEN SIXTEEN! HE CAN'T DRINK BRANDY! WHAT THE HELLS A MATTER WITH YOU?" My oh-so-beloved editor says while giving me a spit shower.
"FINE! B-But I like him drinking, you never know what he could do when he's drunk!" (evil snicker)
(O.O) "WHAT? All the more reason to change it! Now… CHANGE IT!"
"huff!"
Seto Kaiba sat in his parlor drinking "POOH!"
(O.O) "NOW YOUR JUST BEING DIFFICULT! NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT A GUY DRINKING POOH! YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID CHOCOLATE MILK! IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! SMARTEN UP! JUST BECAUSE EYOU CAN'T GET YOUR WAY, DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO RUIN THE STORY FOR EVERYONR ELSE!"
"It's my bloody story, and if I want him to drink pooh, than that's what he'll drink!"
"GOD DAMNIT! FINE, LET HIM DRINK POOH! BUT I'M GIVING A MESSAGE TO THE READERS!
ATTENTION: the word "pooh" is to be defined as chocolate milk!
-
Seto Kaiba sat in his parlour drinking pooh. A huge huff escaped his mouth.
He threw back his head, and took another loud gulp of pooh.
"I'll win that competition if it's the last thing I do!"
He through his cup at the wall and large portions of pooh splattered everywhere.
"This is one competition I'm NOT letting Yugi beat me at! I will win! No matter what! No one will stop me! Bwahhahahahaha!"
Ring… ring…
"Yes oh mighty Mr. Kaiba?"
For Kaiba had rung his little silver bell, calling one of his servants to his side.
"Clean up this pooh! Bwahajhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"
Seto Kaiba left his parlor, to get ready for the tournament.
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At National Fountain park:
"good, I see all the contestants are here. Now, let's go over the rules and regulations, shall we?"
The King of the world, stood before the 7 contestants, and took out a large piece of paper.
"1: if you are caught cheating, you will be automatically disqualified
2: no steroids
3: the final word is given by, and only by the judges. You must respect their decisions, and nothing can alter their choice
4: if you fail to show up to a contest, you are automatically disqualified
5: failure to complete a task, will stand in disqualification
6: and basically, if you do anything mean, you are disqualified"
"Got it?"
"No…"
"failure to complete a task, will stand in disqualification
6: and basically, if you do anything mean, you are disqualified"
"Got it?"
"Yep"! Chanted the contestants.
"Good, now the first contest is a simple one!"
"Hooray!"
"You will be selling cookies!"
…?
"WHAT?" (O.O)
"You heard me, you will be selling these Smexy patented cookies! You can only sell them in Domino city, and the person who makes over 500 dollars first, wins! The person who sells the least, and doesn't make it over 500, is disqualified."
…
"So everyone, grab a box of cookies and get selling! The contest will end at 4:00! Remember, the judges have the final say!
"This is gonna womp!"
"OH! ONE MORE THING! Any one caught using their own money, will be disqualified!" Everyone eyed Seto Kaiba.
"What? You think I'm that low as to use my own money? Well than, you're all idiots!" In truth, that is EXACTLY what Kaiba was planning to do.
"CONTEST BEGIN!"
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"Eugh!... Stupid cookies! Why do I even have to do such a degrading task anyway?" Kaiba sulked, while walking down the street with a large box strapped to his chest!
"I absolutely refuse to be as belittled in such a way, to actually sell cookies! I am sooooooooooo not doing that!"
Kaiba took his cookies and dumped them in a ditch. He then started on his way to The Domino City bank.
"Hello! How may I help you?" Said a cheery voice from behind a counter.
Seto eyed the girl. She was tall, fat, chunky, hairy, eating a fish on a stick, three moles on the left side of her face, unplucked eyebrows, errr… eyebrow that strongly resembled a caterpillar and a boogey nugget in her right nostril.
"Maybe me and you can go out some time?" The girl suggested batting her eyelids.
"DEAR… GOD!" Seto Kaiba fell over and feinted.
2 hours later:
Seto woke up on a hard floor with about 8 people staring at him.
"What is it mommy?" Asked a child.
"It's a hobo… DON'T TOUCH IT!" Screamed the mother, upon seeing her child hold out a finger.
"I'm not a hobo!" He yelled back at the lady.
I hours worth of a lecture about who he is and what he is capable of doing later:
"Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go to the bank.!"
(O.O)
There was a line up going through the whole bank.
"DAMN! Oh well… it's only old lady's. No one will miss them."
With that, Seto Kaiba took a grocery carte, and shoved it down the line. People upon people piled into the cart (mostly old lady's), and soon, it was 43 feet high!
Kaiba kicked the cart out the door, and made his way to the bank counter.
(yells and screams came from outside the door)
Lucky for him, the other lady's shift ended 1 hour ago, so a new man took her place.
"Hi, how may I help you?"
"I would like a deposit from my bank please."
"How much?"
Hmmm… I need a high believable amount that won't make it seem like I'm cheating.
"2.8 billion, please."
(O.O)
The man fell over and feinted.
"Do I have to do everything myself! Gosh damnit! Fine, I'll just use the money in my wallet, and hope I have enough!"
Kaiba dug in his wallet, but only found 12 thousand dollars.
"Damnit! This won't be enough! Oh well…"-
"HEY! What do ya tink ya doin, Kaiba?"
"Uh oh…"
"I saw dat! You's a cheatin!"
"What are you talking about mutt?"
"You took money from your own wallet!"
Kaiba stared at the mutt in front of him who was carrying two boxes of cookies. How did he find out my brilliant scheme? There's only one thing to do now…
"Ummm… no I wasn't. I was… was… was taking some money to donate to the poor! Yeah, that's right!"
"A lie if I ever heard one!"
"NO REALLY! You can, … you can even come donate it to the poor with me!"
"Really?"
Dope! What an idiot I am!
"Ummm… yeah, come on, let's go."
Kaiba turned around and started heading down the street. Joey followed.
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"Kaiba, what kind of charity program is dis?" Joey asked rubbing his arms.
The two had been walking for half an hour, and right now, they were in a deserted part of town, that was completely run down. The getto.
Kaiba turned onto a dark alley.
"We're almost there, came on, this is a shortcut!"
"I don't tink so…"
"Sure it is!"
The alley was full of old boxes, and pieces of garbage.
"Dis charity place gives ma da willy's!"
"We're her!"
Joey looked around. "Here?"
"NOW YOU DIE!" Kaiba punched Joey in the stomach.
"OOFIN OOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Kaiba took a vase on the floor and smashed it over Joey's head.
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From outside the alley, all you could hear was many punches, a gunshot, many things smashing and a few curse words!
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12 minutes later:
Kaiba walked out of the alley wiping his hands.
"Now… back to business! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha-OH SHIT! It's 3:52! I'm not gonna make it!"
(challenge ends at 4:oo)
"AAARrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh out of my way!" Screamed Kaiba shoving a man into a brick wall, when he clearly had lot's of room to run.
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Almost all the contestants were at the park waiting, except for two.
"OK, the contest ends"-
"WAIT!"
"…NOW!"
Kaiba ran into the park, smashing into YuGi, who flew 7 meters and fell into the grand fountain.
"HEY! You got me wet!"
"SHUT UP! The only important thing is that I made it!"
"You know, he's right."
"SHUT UP!"
"That's it! Time to find out who won the contest!"
"Hooray!"
"OK, everyone, how much did you make, and show me the money."
Everyone took out a bag.
Yugi-700 dollars (he didn't know how to sell cookies, so he spent the whole day sitting on the street, wrapped in a blanket thinking. People thought he was a poor bum, so they gave him money, When time was up, he had 700 dollars)
Mokuba-756 dollars( he was so darn cute!)
Grandpa- 890 dollars (he owns his own shop, I think he knows how to sell a product)
Duke- 692 dollars (lot's of fan girls circulate him, so he had lot's of people to sell to)
Seto Kaiba-12 ooo dollars (cheater)
Joey- X (nobody knows)
Tristan- 50 dollars (loser!)
"Well, I think it's pretty obvious who the winner is! Seto Kaiba!"
Kaiba smirked at everyone else.
"Tristan, you only made 50 dollars! You… are… DISQUALIFIED!"
"Damn!"
"Bwahahahahahahahahaha… I beat you all!"
(O.O) "Wait a sec… where's Joey?"
(O.O)… "Your right! Where is he?"
Kaiba started to whistle.
"Has anyone seen him?"
"Hey Kaiba?"
"WHAT? IDIDN'TKILLJOEYCAUSEHEDIDN'TSEEEMECHEATING!"
(O.O) "What was that?"
"Ummm… nothing!"
"Right… have you seen Joey?"
"NO!"
BEEP BEEP BEEP!
"what's that?"
"It's an ambulance!"
"Why?"
The ambulance skidded to a halt in front of the gang. A man walked out.
"Excuse me, but I have some bad news. Your friend Joey Wheeler"-
Snort from Kaiba.
-"Was found dead in an alley way:"
A giant gasp was heard all around.
"DEAD!"
"I'm afraid so."
"Oh No!"
"Well, I have no choice but to disqualify Joey from the tournament, as well as Tristan!"
"Hooray! Now we're closer to winning!"
Yugi started crying. "My best friend!" He wailed!
Kaiba smirked.
"Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…Soon my plan will be complete and I will rule the world! Bwahahahahahahaha!"
(O.O)
"Ummm… Did I say that out loud?
Nod from crowd.
"Ah heh heh he……" He said rubbing the back of his head.
"Anyways… we will be holding a funeral for Joey tonight, at the Prickly Church. AND YOU BETTER ALL BE THERE!"
"Ummm… sir, I'm Jewish!"
"I DON'T GIVE A POOH! YOU'LL BE THERE NO MATTER WHAT!"
"o……k……"
"Oh, and I'll tell you the information for the next contest at the church! Have a nice night!"
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AC: Well I'm finished this chappie! Did you like it? It took a long time to write!
Oh well, I don't have much to say…
OH YEAH!
I just remembered! I have a website now, but it's not quite finished, so I'll give you more info later! Good bye!
