Disclaimer: I don't own New Moon or any of the characters. Stephenie Meyer does.

Chapter 1: Decision

Edward's POV:

It has been seven months. Seven months since my existence became unbearable. Seven months since I decided to save...Bella—it hurt to even think her name—from myself and my black world by breaking myself and by hurting her. Seven months since I have felt whole, complete; like I had a purpose in this world.

I shuddered as I remembered her and what I had done to her. I hated myself, truly hated the monster that I am. I brought Bella, beautiful and loving Bella, into my dark and damned world. I didn't think about her safety; I just thought of my selfishness. My desire to be with her. I basked in her love, her warmth, but I didn't think of what my love, my world, would do to her; the danger they put her in. I broke her heart, told her I didn't love her, the very blackest kind of blasphemy.

I opened my eyes for the first time in what seemed like days. I was somewhere in South America, Brazil maybe. There were wooden beams that ran just above my head, which was lying on the floor. My knees were curled into my chest, my arms wrapped around them. I didn't bother to separate the thoughts from the voices of the occupants of the apartment underneath me. The sounds blended together into a noisy Spanish clamor that mixed uneasily with the smell of cooking oil, human sweat, thick smoke, and wood rot. They were all meaningless.

Everything was meaningless. The whole world was meaningless. My very existence was meaningless.

I closed my eyes and wondered how long I would be able to live with this unrelenting pain and hole in my chest. Maybe my attempt to save Bella was doomed. Maybe, if Bella missed me, too, I should stop torturing both of us and just go back to where I belonged...

That thought sent a new tremor through my body as I imagined being near Bella's warmth again. Just the image alone washed away the mountain of pain my body was under and made me gasp, suddenly dizzy.

I could leave this place and return to Bella. Right now. Bella smiled at me softly from behind the lids of eyes, inviting me.

No. No. No. I had promised her that I would never bring my black demons into her world again. Couldn't I keep at least one promise for her?

The seductive image of Bella's dark window snaked through my head again. My only sanctuary on this entire planet.

Just to check. Just to make sure that she was safe. Wasn't that the whole point in leaving her in the first place? Her safety? I wouldn't interfere, and she wouldn't even have to know I was there. I would just check on her, make sure she's safe and happy, and go back to my nothingness.

Yes.

My eyes snapped open. Yes. I'll just go and check on her, make sure she's safe and happy.

My body moving willingly, now that I had something to do in what seemed like the first time in years. I jumped out of the attic window and landed with a light thud. The sun was barely setting, the sky a soft shade of orange. I looked around, taking in my surroundings. I was standing in a dirt alleyway between two run-down apartment buildings that stood about three stories high. Further up and down the street were similar buildings with broken windows and peeling paint.

I turned toward the outskirts of the small town and started to run. I didn't pay attention to the thoughts or voices as I sprinted away, so I don't know if anyone seen my sudden appearance or disappearance, but I didn't care. I was going to see Bella and nothing else mattered.

Bella. My love. I pictured her fragile body, soft lips, warm eyes, and moved my legs even faster, anxious to see her. The air was warm as it whipped across my cold face. The trees flew by me in a green blur while the soft noises of the forest animals faded behind me.

I couldn't think about anything else but the fact that soon I would see my love.