Disclaimer – ½ Prince and all of the characters belong to Yu Wo
Note – The other day, I was listening to Dead or Alive's You Spin Me Round as I drove home from class. Gui immediately popped into my mind (complete with creepy hip shaking like the also-purple-clothed singer in the music video.) That song fits him so well. Too well. xD
Prince sat sullenly at a table in the Infinite City Cafe, shooting glares over his empty plate at Lolidragon, who was shoveling food into her mouth with far too much enthusiasm. Prince's carefully constructed persona as the icy gentleman, the Blood Elf, was crumbling down around his ears as Lolidragon made little effort to pretend to be Prince. Ugly Wolf was glancing between the two nervously as if expecting them to begin another brawl at any moment. Prince probably would have, if the situation had allowed. But regardless of their surroundings, Prince had a feeling that even if he headbutted Lolidragon until their foreheads were reduced to a bloody mush, he wouldn't get his body back. That suspicion combined with the sniffling and sobbing noises coming from the corner behind their table was causing Prince's mood to drop lower and lower.
He glanced down at his plate. It had been yet another extremely distressing moment for him when he had discovered that Lolidragon's already-snug armor gave absolutely no room for him to fill his stomach in what he considered was a satisfying manner. All it had taken was a small plate of food and he was feeling like the armor had started shrinking.
An extra-loud hiccup from behind him on the floor abruptly drove away the tiny remainder of his patience. He gingerly picked up his plate and weighed it contemplatively in his hands for a moment. Twisting around in his chair, he lifted the plate and brought it down as hard as he could on top of Gui's head. It shattered into several pieces as Gui yelled in pain and looked mournfully up at Prince, with large tears of endless misery still spilling down his flushed cheeks. He'd been crying without respite ever since several hours before when Prince had told them what happened.
"Shut up and sit at the table already yet, you idiot!" Prince snarled at him.
Yu Lian put her head in her hand as Gui shakily stood up and obediently wandered around the edge of the table, dribbling pieces of the broken plate onto the floor as he went. "Prince," Yu Lian whispered just loud enough for those at the table to hear. "Please, calm down. And stop breaking things."
Prince turned back around and tried to relax. "Sorry." He picked up his glass of water and took a long drink for something to do. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Gui lower himself into the last empty chair wipe the tears off his cheeks.
Gui sent Prince's body a miserable glare. "Are you positive you don't know how to change back‽"
"Yep."
The suspicious gleam in his eyes didn't disappear as he continued to stare. Prince also had his doubts that the GM truly didn't know how to switch back. She was the one who caused the glitch in the first place. Accident, or not, she should have been able to fix it as well.
"If this doesn't get resolved by tomorrow, what are we going to do about the meetings we have scheduled for this week?" Yu Lian asked as she shot an accusatory glance at Lolidragon, but it softened to one of sympathy as she turned to Prince.
"I don't know," he admitted.
Lolidragon raised a finger excitedly. "I can stand in–"
"NO WAY!" several people simultaneously yelled at her suggestion. A look of indignation settled on her face at the interruption.
"I think it'd be fine," chirped Doll from her seat. She'd been alternating between feeding Meatbun bits of food and watching the conversation's progress with a look of extreme amusement.
"Look, Lolidragon…" Prince sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "You've done really well in the past with stuff like that, but ever since this happened," he paused and gestured to himself before continuing, "you've done nothing but cause trouble." Gui nodded violently in agreement.
Lolidragon crossed her arms in a very characteristic way and frowned like she was offended. "I can behave myself. If I have to…" She glanced at their disbelieving looks and sat up straighter. "I'm being serious! I wouldn't go so far as to cause that much trouble!" She looked at Prince pleadingly.
After several moments of silence, he finally nodded. "Okay, fine. Just promise you won't mess things up."
"I promise." Lolidragon beamed at him. Prince wondered if he'd just been tricked. He tried to brush it off. She'd always been very playful and devious, but oddly serious whenever things of importance came up.
Gui on the other hand still didn't look convinced at all. His narrowed eyes followed her fork as she dug it into the food once more and popped it into her mouth with a smile.
Prince sighed and pushed his chair away from the table. As everyone turned to look at him expectantly, he stood up and announced, "I have to go to the bathroom."
Gui's face flushed at his words and he glanced at a spot somewhere around Prince's middle. "O-oh…?"
Lolidragon stood up and sent Prince a suggestive look. "Shall your big sister show you how?"
"I already know how. As if I wouldn't…" Prince muttered without thinking. His eyes widened as he realized what he'd just said and he glanced around in horror at the surprised looks he was getting and inwardly screamed profanities at himself for being so thoughtless.
Lolidragon burst out laughing and nodded. "Yes, you are experienced in that area, aren't you?"
Gui's stricken expression took on new depth as tears began to pour from his eyes once more, at a much faster rate than they had been. His shirt front quickly became damp with the warm droplets. "Your Highness!" he whispered tragically as if Prince had somehow betrayed him.
"Oh, shut up and stop assuming things." He glared at Gui and stomped away toward the restrooms, Lolidragon on his heels. There was a loud clatter as Gui leapt from his seat and ran up a moment later. "Why are you two following me‽ Go away! I don't need help!"
"But, Prince–!" Gui began, wiping the tear tracks off his face once again.
"I said go away!"
"I'm not following you," Lolidragon corrected as they stopped outside the restroom doors. "I have to go, too."
Prince's mouth dropped open. He hadn't foreseen this little complication. "Oh, no. No, no, no…"
Lolidragon glared at him and turned toward the men's room. "Tell that to your bladder!"
Prince and Gui immediately grabbed the back of Prince's body's shirt and pulled it out of the doorway. For once, Prince cursed his own character's strength. "Don't you dare!"
"It's only fair! You get to go in my body, so I get to go in yours!"
"Where the hell does fairness come into all this‽"
"You'll never be allowed to see His Highness, Prince's–!"
"Shut your mouth!" Prince screeched as he pulled as hard as he could.
Lolidragon slipped backward a few centimeters as she lost her grip on the door frame. "You morons!" she yelled over her shoulder. "Do you want me to pee myself that badly‽"
Prince stopped tugging, though he kept his firm grip on the shirt back, and stared at Lolidragon. He didn't want that, either. "Well…"
Gui's face suddenly brightened as if he'd just had a wondrously clever idea. "Oh! Your Highness!"
"…What is it?"
"I shall go inside with her, and watch her close to make sure she doesn't do anything!"
"THAT'S EVEN WORSE!" Prince yelled at the bard's maddeningly happy face. He let go of Lolidragon and grabbed Gui instead.
"No, wait! I'm only trying to protect you—Ow!"
Prince abruptly dropped Gui on the floor when he noticed Lolidragon was no longer beside them. He launched himself toward the door. "GET–!"
Ugly Wolf suddenly clamped his paw around Prince's shoulder and gently pulled him back. "Prince, I'll go."
Prince smiled up at him in relief. In his terror, he'd completely forgotten about the others. "Thank you, Wolf-dàgē," he sighed as Ugly Wolf crammed himself through the too-small doorway and shut the door. Prince knew his body was finally safe.
If only for the moment.
