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"The Grand Canyon."

Annie chews out each word.

"Jeff and I are going to the Grand Canyon."

She scrunches up her face as if the words have an unusual taste.

She tries different inflections.

"Jeff and I are going to the Grand Canyon."

Nope.

"Jeff and I are going to the Grand Canyon."

No.

"Jeff and I are going to the Grand Canyon."

She pouts slightly, Still nope, before turning hesitantly to face Jeff.

"Jeeefff, why are we going to the Grand Canyon?"

He pretends not to hear her over the purr of the engine and the not-quite-as-deafening-as-he-would-like-sound of the warm air blasting over the windscreen.

She smacks him on his shoulder with just a tad more force than was necessary to get his attention.

He ignores her.

"Hmmph."

She has got to have the most adorable affronted noise ever.

He turns his head slowly to face her before letting out a long, extraordinarily exasperated sigh and focusing on the road again.

"Yes Milady?"

"Explain yourself, mister."

"Well you see...we're going to burn it down."

There's a long pause before Annie looks at him; her eyes rimmed with concern.

She lets out a short gasp.

Jeff has earphones in both ears, aviators over his eyes and a huge smirk plastered on his face.

"Jeeeeeffffreeeyyy Wiiiiiiiingeeeeerrr!"


October 2019

"Honey, I'm hooome!"

Jeff winces slightly. Hey I'm allowed to be cheesy alright? It's not like I just had major surgery or survived a car crash or anything, geez! Wait where's Annie?

Instead he's confronted by his former study group who are standing solemnly in a vague semicircle around his couches, their faces anguished and their eyes darting from one to another.

"Hey guys, where's Annie? What's going on?"

"Jeff I think it's best if you were sitting before we told you."

He looks inquisitively at Britta, cocking his head slightly, before sitting down. The group files out from behind the couches forming another semicircle in front of him.

"Okaaaaay, where's Annie?"

A chill runs down his spine when he can't meet the eyes of any of the study group. She's not…no she can't be…it's impossible…I would know if she were…

"She's gone Jeff."

dead.

"WHAT?"

Britta starts to ramble, her words stumbling over themselves as she tries to get them out.

"She left two nights ago, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

The whole study group instantaneously becomes animated.

"That bitch, I should have never given her any of my pies."

"I'm sorry man, but if you're up for it we can egg her house tomorrow and then we can cook it and then birds will come and that will attract wild cats which will eat them and then she'll forever be known as cat lady, the lady with a thousand cats, yeahhh."

"You know that's also Jeff's house right?"

"…oh yeah...buzzkill."

"Don't worry my friend this was only your first marriage…you've got at least five more to go."

Jeff slumps back into the sofa, his head lolling back. He raises his right hand in the air, clamping his fingers softly down on his thumb, and slid it fluidly through the air as if he were closing a giant invisible zip.

Everyone immediately becomes quiet.

"Well at least she isn't dead."

To everyone's surprise the words aren't cynical or bitter or sarcastic or even hostile in any way.

He eyes them all in turn, his line of sight sweeping slowly across the room.

"Shirley, I know this must be hard for you, but it is okay for you to not hate her, I understand."

Her expression softens slightly from the absolute rage that had been etched onto her face.

"No, no Jeff I'm with you on this one a hundred percent, I just don't think I can ever forgive that…bitch."

Jeff bites back a laugh and looks at her softly, one side of his mouth is quirked up sardonically.

Shirley looks guilty as she bends her head forward and redirects her attention to her feet.

"Okay maybe I still like her a little."

"That goes for you too Pierce, she is your favourite."

"Was my favourite."

"You mean…?"

"Pshh…in your dreams gay boy, it's now Shirley."

Shirley looks horrified. Britta looks affronted.

"Pierce!"

He just shrugs and when he thinks no one's looking, he meets Jeff's gaze and winks just once.

I've got your back... even if it is occasionally gay.

"Well I for one won't stand for this; no one walks out on their spouse no matter how much I disagree with the concept. How could she? She was the one who was so determined to keep us all together. How could she just walk away from us like that?"

"She outgrew us," Jeff states simply.

"You know she only left me right? I'm not stopping you guys from being with her."

"We know Jeff, but we, we are a family and family sticks together. She walks away from one of us; she walks away from all of us."

"How are you so cool about all this? I've seen you break down for much less."

Jeff scoffs.

"Ah, when?"

"Ah, shorts?

Jeff winces.

"Ok, point made and instantly forgotten."

"Wasn't she the love of your life? Shouldn't you be punching walls, listening to Joy Division on a never-ending loop and drinking yourself to an early grave?"

The small remnants of humour vanish from Jeff's face before he closes his eyes and states in careful, measured words:

"I guess I just always knew that she would eventually come to her senses, realise she's married to a gross, jaded, self-centred man 12 years her senior, cut everything and run. Frankly I'm surprised that it took this long."

Everyone's faces fall before they are hit with the kicker:

"So yes, she was the love of my life, but I always knew I was deluding myself when I imagined that I was the love of hers'."

Troy breaks down and starts to weep.

Jeff plasters a deadpan mask on his face before ushering everyone towards the dining room.

"But that's enough drama for tonight, c'mon everyone grab a beer, let's celebrate!"

"We're celebrating Annie leaving you?"

"No, Britta, we are celebrating all the fun times we had; both as a study group and the ones between me and Annie, and there were a lot of them, some right here on this table."

"Oh, oh dear…"

"Awesome…"

"Jeff don't be gross…"

"Exactly where on this table?"

As the group descends into normality, well as normal as the can get, talking animatedly around the dining table, Jeff seeks out the one person who hasn't said anything all night.

"Rich?" he mouths, his eyes inquisitive.

Abed just nods.

Jeff sighs resignedly before joining in on the conversation.

He'd better not be a serial killer.


June 2017

At Britta's insistence they don't get married in a church.

At Troy's insistence they don't get married during the day.

("Because, Annie, duh, it's a cliché.

…You've been around Abed too long.

You're about 8 years too late to that party Annie.")

At Pierce's insistence they don't get married at night.

...This proves difficult.

("Why Pierce, why are you trying to ensure that I don't get married and die alone surrounded by the cats I'm sure to buy? Do you hate me? Oh no you don't still think Jeff is gay do you? Explain yourself old man."

"Old? I'll show you old! Troy drop a beat."

"For the last time Pierce NO!"

"Okay, okay geez, well if you must know all of my marriages have been at night, in Vegas, Atlantic City, Reno…"

"This explains so much about you."

"Shut it, Winger…and after so many failed marriages… I just…I see you guys… you know I care about…I want yours to go differently."

"Okay")

At Abed's insistence their wedding was to be epic.

("Preferably with you two saying your vowels whilst leaping over alligator infested waters and then having passionate sex whilst hiding from a Blorgon invasion.")

At Shirley's insistence they have a strict dress code.

("Because I'll be damned if I'm going to a wedding NOT in a church AND without a proper sense of propriety.")

They do end up having a strict dress code…just not the one Shirley had envisaged.

The guys are dressed as steam-punk time travellers and the women are dressed as Goth fairies after the great Greendale Library flood of 2014 left many soaking wet clothes with hours left until the wedding.

("Say what you will about Greendale, its costume shops have a surprisingly large quantity of these."

"That's because no one ever buys these, Britta."

"Oh yeh…right.")

They get married at dusk on the side of a mountain range overlooking a giant inland lake. A gentle breeze periodically winds its way through the picturesque valley, lazily flicking at the warm grass, causing the surface of the water to shimmer with slivers of warm orange and languid red, and pushing puffs of cloud across the darkening sky.

Jeff and Annie are seated on the very edge of the lake, their hands entwined and their bare feet skimming the surface as they watch the stars come out.

"Have I told you how ridiculous you look?" Jeff mutters, still staring off into the distance.

He can't see her but he's sure his new wife is pouting.

"Yes, plenty of times."

"Just checking."

He slings an arm around her shoulder and pulls her closer.

"Well, what about you?" asks Annie who wriggles slightly as she adjusts to her new position.

"Hmm, what about me?"

"Do you know how ridiculous you look?"

Jeff scoffs gently.

"Always was queen of the comebacks."

She slaps him on the chest.

"Hey I can't help the fact my costume consists of a suit, and whilst there are many things I am not completely amazing at…"

"Hmm, like pottery," Annie quips.

Jeff scowls slightly.

"Yes Annie, like pottery."

"Just checking."

"Hmmph, anyway, I can't help that I look good in a suit, no matter what the suit is, even if it is brown and lined with what I assume to be the inside of all of Greendale's clocks. You on the other hand look like a depressed butterfly that's made a lot of bad life choices."

Jeff pauses slightly.

"Beautiful though."

"Yeah?"

"Absolutely stunning."

They kiss passionately under a field of stars.

There isn't a Blorgon in sight.

"Maybe we should get back," Annie says hesitantly after they pull away.

"C'mon Annie it's your wedding, live a little, now if at no other time."

Jeff uncorks a bottle of wine and gulps down a mouthful before setting it down in a hole to his side. Annie looks at him curiously.

"What is that?"

"It's a wine hole, Annie; it's where I put my wine."

"I was referring to the wine itself, actually."

"Oh, I thought that was self-explanatory."

Annie doesn't say anything.

"It's wine, Annie."

And he gulps down another mouthful.

She looks affronted.

"Did you steal that?"

"Yes Annie, from our reception."

"Still that doesn't make it right, what if someone else wanted to drink that wine and then the only recollection they'll have of this wedding is the wine that went missing, didn't think of that didya punk?"

Jeff looks bemused.

"Punk? Annie what is this really about?"

"Well it's just, we've been married less than an hour and you're already trying to get drunk."

She looks so put out that Jeff can't help but laugh.

"Hey!"

"No, it's not what you think Annie, it's just that it feels like I'm on the edge of something, figuratively and literally, and I'll be damned if I'm sober when I take the plunge."

"So you need to be drunk to be with me?"

"No…"

Jeff smirks.

"..but it does help. Besides who said I was being figurative."

And he pulls them both into the water.


"Did you ever remarry?

"Mhmm, twice actually, once to Britta."

"What?"

Her tone seems to scream SCANDALOUS which makes Jeff laugh.

"How did Troy take it?"

"Better than most, surprisingly, after we got it annulled he even told me that he was glad that we had gotten it out of the way."

"Really, why?"

"I think it was something Abed told him, he kept rambling on about destiny and compatibility, it would have been quite funny if it wasn't so…strange."

"I would have thought that he would have taken it much worse, like, I dunno punched you in the face or something."

"What, like you did?"

"Yeah I guess but you know maybe a touch more macho?"

"Well it is Troy."

"Hey! I'm sure Troy can be as manly as he wants to be…whenever he chooses to do so."

"You realize you're talking about the guy who came to our wedding in a steam-punk suit and fairy wings because he thought they formed a sumptuous duality of colours and textures."

"Yeah Troy and Abed were really weird during their British art critiquing phase."

Suddenly, "Roxanne" by The Police starts blaring from Annie's phone.

"Oooh, you've been driving for four hours, it's time to switch."

"I dunno Annie, I feel fine and you know, you look kinda tired and besides we're almost there."

"How much longer?"

"…about four hours."

"How is it that you're even more protective of your new car than your old Lexus?"

"Hey! Hey, this isn't any old car; this is my 1990 Porsche 964 Cabriolet."

"You mean Hank Moody's 1990 Porsche 964 Cabriolet?"

Jeff lets out a resigned sigh.

"Yeah okay but take care of her, Betsy and I have been through a lot these past few years."

"You named your car Betsy? And what things? You've only had it for a few months."

"Oh I never got around to telling you the other person I married."

Annie looks at Jeff suspiciously.

"Okay…who was it?"

"Annie Kim."

"WHAT?!"

"Are you going to drive or aren't you woman?"


A/N: Sorry if Jeff seems out of character here but lets just say that it's been a long seven years for him. Next chapter, they "burn down" the Grand Canyon, and more flashbacks!

Thanks for reading!