Chapter 4
Graduation was a success there were still parties going on most of which I could not attend. I was leaving friends behind my own age and heading off to Yale in the fall. I walked into the house to find Cameron playing video games with my brother Zach. They both smile at me and Zach comes over to hug me as if he hadn't seen me in the morning. Zach was eight and having a bit of trouble with my leaving. He could be annoying at times but I loved my kid brother. I hug him.
"You kicking Cammie's butt Z?" He smiled up at me with those adorable dimples. Truth he looked just like my father at his age. They could be mistaken for twins if the pics were side by side.
"I am a Drake." He replied as if it should be obvious. That winning was ingrained in our DNA.
"Hey Z, you are losing and don't forget I am a Spencer. I may intentionally use bad grammar but I ain't no slouch kid." Zach rolled his eyes.
"I let you win. I got bored with it." Zach said casually and I laugh.
"Aw Cammie are you offended by an eight year old?" He rolled his eyes.
"I told you not to call me that and you should put some clothes on before your dad gets home." I look down at my shorts and tank. Okay maybe it was a midriff but I was hardly dressed like a whoochie.
"What is wrong with what I have on?"
"For one, your shorts leave little to the imagination but ignore me." He shrugged.
"Z are we playing or not?" My brother walked back over to the couch.
"Are you supposed to be playing video games?" Cam looks at me.
"Yeah, Patrick said it was cool. I was hanging with him until your dad got back from a consult." He explains. It was odd because my dad normally would not allow me to have a guy around when no one was home but he saw Cam as family so he didn't mind him as much but he watched him closely.
Just then Alec, my mom, and Aunt Brenda walk through the door. I squeal and run to hug my aunt and my friend Alec. Alec checks me out. My mother gives me a disapproving look.
"I don't mind the shirt but change your shorts." She scolded. I notice Cam give me the I told you so look and I stick my tongue out at him. Then I ran up the stairs to change my clothes.
When I came back down only Cameron and Alec remained in the living room. I look at them suspiciously.
"What's up Al?' I said sitting on the couch next to him.
"Not much. In town for a visit. I was wondering if we could catch a movie later. I mentioned it on the way here. Now I think our mothers are in the kitchen planning our wedding." He laughed but I notice Cam gag.
"I actually had plans later. Maybe tomorrow?" I had plans to go paintballing with Cam, Spencer, and Lila.
"Sure we will be in town for a week at least. Dad has some business to attend to." Jax had adopted Alec and he was being groomed to be the next corporate raider in the Jacks family.
"Cool. We are actually going paintballing. If you are down you could come." I suggested and I notice Cam cut his eyes at me. Cam was a charismatic guy but he had few friends. He preferred to keep things in his inner circle which consisted of me, Spence, and Lila. Sometimes he included Morgan. Joss and Molly but not always.
"I am always down for a little action." Cam snorted causing Alec to look at her.
"Is there a problem Cam?" Alec asked.
"My allergies are acting up." He frowned then held his stomach. "Too much cheese in the room." Alec studied him.
"I thought we were cool Cam. You seem a little hostile." Cameron looks at him then at me.
"I am never hostile Al." He said in a way that only he can. He was amused by Alec and was getting on my nerves.
"Cameron likes to kid around. Ignore him, I do all the time." I smiled. I look at Cam and something tells me that he had something up his sleeve.
Paintball started out fun but Cam decided that Alec would join me and Lila on our team since we were females and he was a pretty boy. Alec absorbed the insult. He was pretty. He was very pretty, I mean the boy could model for Burberry or something. He had dark hair and grey eyes, he was tall with a lean physique, the boy was gorgeous and dresses straight out of GQ. He had playboy written all over him. Cam was more casual with his dark eyes, curly brown hair and frown. He was very attractive but it took no effort, he was just cool like that.
Alec and I were hiding in the trenches with Lila as we became the hunters. Alec leaned in close to me.
"You know Em, you are all grown up. You looked nice today. I didn't mind the shorts. I am thinking about attending Rutgers. Maybe we could see each other over the fall." I stare at him for a moment and he brushed a hair that had fallen from my ponytail behind my ear and lifted his mask to smile at me, first I feel it and catch a glimpse of a red paintball fly by me. Alec was focused on me and by the time I could react it hit him in the face.
Cam and Spencer run over. "Dude why the fuck did you take off your mask?" Cam said feeling a bit guilty. I snapped into action.
"Are you okay?" I asked. The ball had splattered on his cheek.
"I am fine. I am tougher than I look." He looked pointedly at Cam.
"I had already fired when you took your mask off. My bad." He shrugged. "So does this mean game over?"
"Yes it means game over." I shouted then helped Alec up.
"Come on a hit to bare skin can bruise. Let's get this cleaned up." I said and he smiled at me. We walk away. I hear Cam say, "What?"
"Cameron, you aimed for the head!" Spencer accused.
"Kill shot. He is a man. I am sure he is fine." I didn't see it but I knew he shrugged and Spencer looked at him disapprovingly while Lila just looked uncomfortable.
Later we met at the Lila's house to go swimming. Alec still had a welt on his face but he was in good spirits. He was pissed with Cameron but he was a good sport about it, or so I thought.
"So my parents are taking me to Puerto Rico for vacation. Em, you should talk to Aunt Robin about coming with us." I see where he is headed.
"I love Puerto Rico." Lila smiled.
"I have never been to Puerto Rico but I do love the beach." I smiled.
"Lila, you and Spence could probably asked your parents if you could come." Alec was going there. Cam was not bothered.
"Yeah Spence. I know you prefer the Grecian Isles but Puerto Rico could be a nice change." Spencer looked at Cameron.
"I am sorry that I didn't invite you Cameron but I didn't want to put you out." Cameron chuckled.
"Now why would I be put out? I mean, you and I have a lot more in common than you would like to admit. Criminal biologicals and looney toon relatives. I am a live and let live kind of guy. I don't sweat the small stuff. So this little pissing match that you want to start, well, I am not even in the match." He grinned with a shrug.
"The difference is that my biological was a powerful man who was born with money. Money that he left to me but I turned it down. Yours was merely a lowlife criminal." Cameron laughed again and I open my mouth to put an end to it but Cam stops me.
"All criminals are low lives. I mean, Sonny Corinthos is loaded but he is still a low life. But look kid another difference is that I am a grown man where as you are still a baby. You don't want to match wits with me. Me with my backwoods education might just make you feel embarrassed." He stood.
"Lucky for you, I have a date. You can continue to try to impress Emma without dragging me into it now." He chuckled then walked away.
"Okay Alec what is your problem?" I barked at him.
"He shot me in the face and you are asking me what my problem is?" He shot back.
"Dude you were playing paintball and broke a cardinal rule, protect your face." I sniped back.
"What is the issue? I was being myself. You weren't checking him." He argued.
"He left." I argue lamely. He just didn't know the things that I knew. He shouldn't have been trying to insult my best friend on the sly. "This night has gone from action to lame in no time. I am out." I stand and leave him confused. Lila and Spence got it. They knew how we rolled.
Chapter 5
That little rich pretty boy snob tried to one up me. I didn't bring my A game. Talk of my father had been pretty difficult lately. I did shoot him in the face on purpose but I wasn't expecting the idiot to take off his mask. He should have been paying attention.
I went out to Wyndemere. There was a bluff that I sometimes chilled at. I decided to go there to think about things. When I was a kid I wanted my mother to get back with Lucky. She didn't right away. She had been dating Jason again and then when he went back to his wife and kid she dated his brother. She confused me and I started to resent her.
Lucky was no better. He had come home to help find Emma's mom but he didn't stick around long. We communicated by phone for a bit. Then a year later he came home. They tried the whole co-parenting thing but the tension was thick.
I did stupid shit like tag graffiti. I was just trying to express myself. Then he moved back in and asserted himself in my place as man of the house. We butted heads a lot but Aiden loved having him around so I mellowed out. As a result, I faded. Our relationship was never the same. I didn't call him Lucky but the man who raised me for the first six years of my life was foreign to me. Maybe I am just the one he fucked up and Aiden was redemption. I hadn't figured it out yet.
Still one night, I heard them talking when Dante brought me home after he saved me from a cell. My mother worried that my father was coming out of me. I found it funny because I never met the man. What is it that they say about nurture and nature? I would never truly know which one it was. Lucky was a cop but he wasn't the most upstanding of cops. So any logic that I tried to form of my so called life was blurry. It wasn't concrete because I couldn't figure out quite who I am.
I heard her walking through the brush. She is the only person who knows about this place. We came here when her father cheated on her mother with Dr. Westnile, it wasn't his fault really. I must say, the woman was patient. She waited years for her revenge. I tease her about her so called perfect life but I know that it hasn't been. Her problems aren't like mine but she has her own.
"What are you doing walking up here this late?" I turn to look at her. She shrugs and I could see that she had questions but was afraid that I would bite her head off. I had a temper and so did she. So when we got into it, feelings got hurt. So we try not to fight if we can help it.
"Well, dad." She came to stand next to me. "I came to see if you were cool. I mean Alec was kind of a jerk but you bruised his pretty ego." She smiles that smile at me. I know she was pissed by the shot but she quickly gets over it when she is pissed at me. It is our thing, we piss each other off sometimes but we never let it linger. Alec is her friend but I am her best friend and as a result she often takes my side. Even when I am wrong, but she calls me on it.
"He shouldn't have taken his mask off. He was also hitting on you. I don't think he is the kind of guy who will wait for you. Why make things awkward between your mom and Bren?" I look at her. It was one of the reasons, besides the two year age difference that we could never go out.
"I like Al but not in that way. I am not into boys who are prettier than me." She laughed. She was wrong, I had never seen anyone prettier but of course I will never tell her that.
"Seriously are you okay? You kind of bolted." I shrug.
"I'm good Em. I have just been thinking about Zander lately. I am thinking about trying to find my family on that side. Thing is there is no one left. So I did a little research. He signed over his parental rights and was enticed by money to do so. He was implicated in his own father's death by fire, see the connection? So I contacted Gia Campbell to get some insight. I knew of all of his crimes and when I heard the story from Gia it made me resent my mother." I laugh.
"I mean she wanted Ric, so she asked him to sign his rights away. Was that to keep me safe? If so then why the hell was she with Jason twice? Oh and don't get me started on him. He and Spencer's mother framed him for murder which led to his death. Courtney is dead but Jason is going to pay for that. Nikolas stole Emily from him and he was never the same. Maybe there was some bitterness there. I talked to Nik about it. But I mean he stole Courtney from Jax so what could I expect. He thought he was the better man." I pace as she listened.
"I was conceived on a one night stand. His dad didn't want him because he blamed him for his brother's suicide. Maybe that is why he acted out. I can understand what it is like to lose a brother. It was hard when Jake died. See he just gave me away but I cannot help but wonder if he had lived, if he would have ever met me, would he have changed his mind? Would he and I have the bond that Aiden and Lucky have." I shake my head.
"I think that once he met you and held you in his arms he would have fought for you." She hugged me from behind. I actually loved her height. Almost, I had her by a couple of inches. I am glad I hit a growth spurt, I was under five foot for far too long. She is tall for a girl, she takes after her father that way with a little of her mother's DNA to balance it out.
"And don't go drawing parallels between you and your father. You are a good person Cam. Sarcastic, temperamental and jerky but good. You cannot atone for his sins and you cannot take them on as your own. And how are you going to go after Jason?" I shrug. I don't cry. I haven't cried since Jake died. Sometimes when I think about the biological, I feel like crying but it never quite comes out.
"Don't worry. When I come for him it will be legit. He will pay for all the things he has done to both Lucky and Zander. Why should that cyborg get to live?" I really hate Jason. I hate his kid, I hate everything about him. He just gave Jake away like my father did me. I hear her intake of a sharp breath. "I am not talking about killing him. I am just talking about ruining him." I sigh.
"You know Cam I was a product of a one night stand. I am not supposed to know but you know how people talk. My father wanted nothing to do with family or commitments. He turned out to be a pretty good pops. Lucky has been spotty but for the most part he has been a good dad. I just think that sometimes your identity or the quest for your own identity makes it blurry and you are not seeing it clearly. I am not minimalizing how you feel. I just don't want you to feel like you aren't wanted or loved. Loads of people adore you." I turned to her. This conversation was getting way too heavy.
"Why because I frown so much?" She shrugged and stepped back a little. She almost fell but I steady her.
"Because you are you. Have you talked to your mom?" I should have known that she would ask.
"And say what?" I look her in the eye.
"How you feel." She said simply.
"So that she can tell me it was all for me? Did you know that Ric kidnapped Carly when she was pregnant? He kept her in a panic room. He also allowed her to think that he raped her sometime before then. He worked for Sonny and Alcazar. He has a host of crimes including the fact that he was twisted. He was redeemed but hey, still, she wanted him to adopt me as oppose to my father." I say louder than I had meant to.
"So why do you carry it with you, let her have it. I don't mean disrespectfully but tell her these are things she should have spoken to you about. Tell him to, if you know where he is buried. If you need someone in the room to check your temper, I will be there. I mean if you want." I look at her. She was my girl always ready to go into battle with me.
Once I was getting jumped at the park. Emma was coming from softball practice and ran over with her bat and started swinging. Being the jerk that I was I yelled at her. I mean, I couldn't let my rep as a Spencer, or Smith, or whatever go down as my needing a girl's protection. I was 14 and she was twelve. I mean how the hell would that look? I was handling my own. I made it up to her with pixi sticks. She loved them and was not allowed to have many. She also told Lucky he was being harsh when I was punished for tagging. She got into trouble for not minding her business. Still she snuck over with her iPad to fill me in on the Yankees.
"Why are you staring at me?" I shook my head then smiled.
"I was thinking about batgirl." She laughed. "I swear that is why you gave Spence that name."
"Do you think he and Lila are dating?" I didn't have the heart to tell her.
"I don't know. Maybe, maybe not." They were secretly dating but had not announced anything to me but I had caught them kissing. It kind of pissed me off because one of them needed to be honest with her. "Why don't you just fess up already?"
"I am not ready to settle down. I am saving him for last." She shrugged. Nice concept but it didn't make a lot of sense.
"Anyway, feel like a road trip?" I ask her.
"Now?'
"Yep." I took her hand and we started walking.
Chapter 6
Emma listened to me vent to my father for a good thirty minutes. I said all the things that I had been thinking about. Then added how he never taught me a jump shot or saw me graduate not because he was dead but because he didn't want to be there. Then in the back of my truck we lie on our backs stargazing in the cemetery.
"You are the only girl I know who would lay down with me in a cemetery." I tease her.
"Well I would like to say you are the only boy who has offered." She laughed and slapped me playfully.
"Wait, someone has asked?" She shook her head. She was lying on my jacket.
"Yeah, Ryan thought that it was a turn on to have your cherry popped in a cemetery. He tried to woo me with dead people and ghostly presences." She laughed.
"He actually propositioned you? For sex?" I can feel the anger rising.
"Well we went out on a date and he brought me here with some beer and Kelly's. I thought he was joking but he wasn't. I wasn't about to drive with him so I called Lila and she picked me up." She explains.
"Why didn't you call me?" She looked at me with her eyebrow arched. Okay so sometimes I solved things with my fist. Still.
"Too bad we graduated. I could have accidentally on purpose knocked him into the lockers." She laughed.
"I accidentally on purpose put dye in Kelly's shampoo on the last day of Phys Ed." I laugh.
"Why did you do that?"
"Well she spent all of last year calling me flat chested. I was a late bloomer. I am still barely there but still. Then she broke your heart." I laugh again. She hurt me but I wasn't too broken up.
Problem was, I love the girl next to me but she is in love with my cousin, my other best friend. It is like some wacky triangle. Plus was eighteen and she was just 16. We talk for a bit then we realize that time has gotten away from us.
"Shit!" We say at the same time.
Cameron and I race home. We had driven an hour outside of the city limit to get to his father's grave. I know that I am in for it but he doesn't let me brave it alone. It is two in the morning and my curfew is 12. We walk into the house and not only are my parents sitting up waiting for us but his as well.
"Where the hell have you been? I have called you numerous times." My father's voice booms.
"It is my fault Patrick. Can I explain?" He looks hard at Cameron but nods
"No it isn't his fault. We went to the drive-in to see a double feature. I convinced him to stay for the second. We didn't have any cell service but I said it was cool because I had sent you a text. Only I didn't send a text because I know once you saw boy and drive-in you would lose it." I knew he was going to confess and that if he had he would have been forced to have a conversation that he was not ready for. He looks at me and he is about to call me a liar on the spot.
"She is covering for me. The truth is I had been doing some research on my father's family tree. I found out where he was buried and I talked to Em about it. She said that I should vent. We drove to his gravesite. We didn't expect to be gone so long. It is about an hour away. When we realized that we had been gone so long we came right back."
"You didn't think to call anyone to tell us of your plans?" My father asked still angry. "We were worried sick."
"The cell service wasn't very good and if I am being honest, I did not think of it. It was selfish and I apologize." My father doesn't soften.
"You are right you were selfish."
"Come on dad give him a break. He is owning it and I wanted to go. It has been a heavy night. We didn't do anything wrong. I will be away at Yale in the fall. You won't know my every move."
"You want to make me delay your admission?" He asks me and I shut up.
"Again, I apologize. It will not happen again. Emma knew that I wasn't ready to talk to my parents about my recent curiosity and tried to cover so that I wouldn't have to." I notice his parents are staring at him. He was in for a conversation that he was not ready to have. "Since I am eighteen, with all due respect, I am not going to have that conversation."
"Oh you are eighteen? That makes you a man? Will the eighteen year old man pay his own college tuition." Lucky challenged and I could see Cam's eyes darken then he laughs.
"I am eighteen and I am a man. I am not going to have that challenged by you or anyone else. I appreciate you stepping in sometimes but I am not going to be threatened with being cut off or thrown out. You want to teach me a lesson about standing on my own two feet? Cool, I am just going to go get my things, the ones that I paid for and I will be out." He walked out. His mother glared at his father then called after him. His dad apologized then went after them but I could hear the wheels screeching as he peeled off.
"Emma maybe it is best that you don't hang out with Cam for a while." I stare at my father.
"Why because he has questions about half of his DNA? You don't understand. You parents think that you can make all of the mistakes you want but we are supposed to be perfect little obedient offspring. It doesn't work like that. That is not life. You know he is a good kid." I ranted.
"She is right Patrick. Cam just found out a lot of things that are likely hurting him. Things that cannot be fixed because his father is dead. He made some mistakes but he was acting out and we both know why. He has gotten himself straight but he has pride and he is stubborn." She gave him a look that reminded him that he has likely said worse to my grandfather.
"Have we done something that makes you feel like you aren't understood?" My mom asks me.
"I… I feel like dad is way too overprotective but I have to admit it is nice that he is present in my life. Of 95 percent of my friends, I have the most normal child hood outside of the soap opera villain or three. Which is why they tease me about my perfect life. Some things weren't so perfect but I am okay. I think that I am pretty well adjusted. " I smiled.
"I mean, outside of Lisa, I learn a lot from you two about what love is. I learn a lot from dad about how I want to be treated and I learn from mom not to take crap from anyone. Cam has just confirmed that he had been stuck in a game of musical daddies for most of his life." I tell them leaving it at that.
"You have strong feelings for Cam." I snort at my mother.
"Cam is my best friend. I call him frownie. I do have strong feelings but not for Cam. Cam knows who he is but it is not our time yet. I need to focus on graduating by the time I am 19 or 20. Can I go to bed now?" I ask.
"Sure but you are grounded for the rest of the week." My father said and I am a little bugged but it was lenient so I let it go.
"You guys are good parents." I hug them then trot off to bed. I worry about Cameron. He received a scholarship. He didn't even tell his parents. I was planning to have him a surprise celebration. Now I wasn't so sure.
