Just because I got a favorite. People are awesome :) To SuperWhoPotterAvenge-X. You officially made my day :D
I own nothing. Except the creative liberties that (hopefully) worked.
Romanogers is the ship unless otherwise stated. Just because I love them so much.
20. Tony shall not be seeing any musicals
"Good morning Neeeeew Yoooorrk!" Tony's pitchy voice filled the speakers of every room in the tower, causing a) Natasha to sleepily shoot the living crap out of it-even half asleep she was a perfect shot, b) Thor to halfheartedly throw Moljnir at offending object, effectively breaking it, and c) Bruce turning green enough that alarms were sounded, causing Tony to stop singing abruptly.
"I apologize for the...unexpected wake-up call," JARVIS apologized profusely after the performance had ended. "Miss Potts took Master Stark to see "Hairspray" last night, and I'm afraid he's become slightly... overenthusiastic about the performance numbers,"
"I thought hearing Tony singing the shower was scarring enough," Clint moaned, who'd lived through that experience once without any desire to go through it again. "I think my ears have started bleeding,"
"Miss Romanoff, should I arrange to have a new speaker installed in your room?"
"Not until Tony stops singing those goddamn musicals. I knew there was a reason I declined those missions. At least the opera's sort of depressing,"
"Remind me not to take you to Broadway anytime soon," Steve chuckled. She fixed him with a "you'd-better-not" look, and he put his hands up in surrender, giving her a kiss on the head before sliding out of their bed to make some much-needed coffee.
"And you, Agent Barton?"
"Nah, just deactivate 'em unless for an emergency. I don't feel like letting Stark into my room to replace any tech. I'd do the same for Bruce, too."
"Embodied voice of the residence, I wish to have my speakers removed," Thor sleepily boomed.
"As you wish, Master Odinson."
"What's crack-a-lacking, dudes?" Tony slid into the kitchen wearing nothing on his feet but socks. "Isn't it a great day to be in New York? Picture me, just another cool kid on the street, near the Park and the Met. Life is sweet, Yankees on the Bronx pretzels on the street, just how good can it get?"
"I am so talking to Pepper about this," Bruce grumbled. "The next time she takes Tony to see a musical, it'd better be freaking Les Mis,"
"Hey, that one's actually kind of depressing," Steve turned to Natasha, who was in the process of perfecting her coffee. "Maybe we could see-"
"No."
"Aw, Capsicle, don't let her get you down! You know what, Pepper and I will take you to one. How 'bout Guys and Dolls? Fame? No, wait, I've got it. Beauty and the Beast. Y'know, Pep and I can get you the best tickets for any of those, all you have to do is ask-"
"Stark," Steve answered wearily, "I'm not going to see a musical with you,"
"But whyyyyyy?" Tony whined. "There's only us, there's only this, forget regret, or life is yours to miss!"
"Я кастрировать вас," Natasha muttered into her coffee. Clint choked into his, and had to leave the room for fear of cracking a joke that would lead to his death.
"Not even just one, man? I promise I won't sing through it or anything!"
"Are there any musicals you don't know the words to?" Bruce questioned. Clint, having sobered up, returned with his coffee.
"Not that I know of," he answered. "He sang all of them in between last night and this morning." He turned to Tony. "The vents aren't soundproof, man,"
"Miss Romanoff," JARVIS announced, "your new speaker has arrived. Should I direct the men as to where to place it?"
"No need, J. I'm on my way back anyways," Natasha snatched her mug and headed back to her bedroom. "I can just glare at them and they should be able to put it in the right place. Especially if Steve stands there with his shield in the corner,"
"You'd think they'd know to listen to us by now," Steve muttered, following her. "After what happened the last time,"
"The last time I saw Paris, her heart was warm and gay, I heard the laughter of her heart in every street cafe-wait, Natashalie-my speaker-WHAT?!" The fact that Natasha and Steve were replacing a speaker finally registered in Tony's brain. "What happened to the old one?"
Steve paused. "It'd probably be best if you didn't know,"
"What?" Tony demanded. "What happened? Cap? Cap?! JARVIS, tell me what they did!"
"It appears that Miss Romanoff lodged several bullets into the body this morning, sir,"
"SEVERAL BULLETS?!" Tony shrieked. "HOW COULD YOU, YOU TWO?!"
"You sang, Tony," Clint answered in between gulps of coffee. "Believe it or not, you actually sound like Tasha when you sing."
A knife whizzed over Clint's head out of nowhere. It seems the Black Widow hadn't missed that comment. Steve's laughter could be heard all the way from their room.
"Don't make me bring up Budapest, Barton," was the muffled threat that came in reply.
"Then I'll kindly remind you about Tokyo!" he hollered back.
"Tokyo? What happened in Tokyo?" Steve asked a glaring Natasha. She pointed to the corner, and three moving men scurried to set the supports for the giant replacement speaker.
"It was an undercover mission," Natasha deadpanned. "Got mistaken for Selena Gomez, ended up having to film her music video, long story short, it's got 236 million views on YouTube,"
"And I thought you said you didn't do musicals,"
"And I don't," she answered sweetly through gritted teeth. "So don't ever try, or else your sketchbook may or may not go missing..."
Steve gulped. She was serious.
"Shot my speaker," Tony muttered to himself, stalking out of the kitchen. "We'll see who has the last laugh,"
Tony's revenge didn't come until a week later.
Steve was out on a mission, leaving Natasha alone in bed. It was only supposed to be a couple of nights, thank goodness, but the loss of his presence was still there. She'd almost fallen asleep when-
"The hillllls are aliiiiiiiiiiive with the sound of muuuuuuuusic..." Natasha's eyes widened as an astonishingly pitchy voice blared through her speakers. He wouldn't dare do this now. Especially when everyone in the tower knew how she got when Steve was on missions. But apparently, Tony felt like risking his life, for he sang on. "Doe, a deer, a female deer, ray, a drop of golden suuuunnnnn..."
The next morning, Tony found himself in the local hospital, wearing one of his suits and surrounded by kids who happened to be huge fans of Iron Man.
"Stark and charity work?" Coulson smirked as he read the report later that day. "There's got to be a story behind that,"
Reviews are appreciated! Please? I'll work in something for you if you do. And probably put up a new chapter in your honor :D
