Chapter Title: What should I do?
Summary: Izaya attempts suicide after years of bearing Shizuo's hate for him, when he wakes up he finds himself as his high-school self on the day of his initiation ceremony, while in the real world Shizuo takes Izaya to Shinra's and begins to realise his feelings for the 'flea'. Will the two ever be reunited?
This is chapter 2 of 'I was broken' I hope you'll enjoy it. And when there's like… some random shonen ai in the next chapter I'll just say a little something about it in the chapter before for those people who don't really like it that much. Anyway, on with the story.
Izaya: There's going to be some smexy stuff between Shizu-chan and me? I can't wait.
Shizuo: Yeah right, just shut up yea damn flea.
Izaya: I know you want me, Shizu-chan.
Shizuo: JUST SHADDUP
Mercy: You two make the perfect couple *insert innocent smile*
Izaya: I know right
Shizuo: *insert Shizuo blushing like mad*
Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or the characters in any way.
"I'll always hate you…" Izaya heard Shizuo's say those words before the darkness took over…
'So… Shizu-chan really hates me…' The unconscious raven started questioning why he kept coming back to Ikebukuro to get more of Shizu-chan. Originally he had thought that it was because he was addicted to the adrenaline feeling that coursed through his body whenever the duo chased the other, but now he wasn't so sure. Then he heard a voice… his own voice, he realised, and it was telling him something. After a minute of listening to the blurry words, the voice, most likely his conscience, finally said something the raven understood.
'It's because you want Shizuo to love you back.'
Izaya was a bit surprised when he heard these words, he knew he loved Shizuo much more and in a different way to all his other beloved humans, but he had never really thought that he had wanted to make Shizuo love him… unless Shizu-chan just happened to.
'For all these years, the only thing you wanted to do was make Shizuo love you, to make him feel sadness when he or someone hurts you, to be by your side wherever you go, and to make sure that no-one else but you had captured his heart.'
After the voice said this, Izaya was stunned, because now that it was pointed out to him in black and white he realised that those where, in fact, his exact intentions. But the raven knew he couldn't make Shizu-chan love him, after all hadn't he said so himself? I'll never stop hating you… As the words echoed throughout his mind, he knew it really was impossible for his wish to ever come true.
'Even if I force him to, it's not going to work.' Izaya thought he was going crazy now, talking to his conscience and all.
'So what will you do?'
Yep definitely crazy, especially since his conscience was answering him now.
'It's not crazy Izaya, I just wanna talk to someone.'
'Actually it is, you're my conscience, you shouldn't need to want to talk to someone' Izaya heard the voice sigh and then decided that it was probably okay for him to wake up now, and he was wondering, what would he do?
"Oi, Shinra, how is he?" Shizuo asked as he always did when he injured Izaya.
"Hmm? Oh he's fine. You can go in now if you want, just don't wake him up. I must go now to my beloved and have a wonderful evening enjoying her unique cooking." As soon as he finished talking Celty was behind him and hitting him on the head with a rolled up newspaper.
She started typing on her phone.
[That's practically an insult, saying that my cooking is unique.] She erased it then started typing again.
[I know it's not good,] she started typing more but Shinra stopped her before talking.
"What are you talking about? The taste doesn't matter so long as you love the one who made it, and I love you Celtyyyy!" He jumped to glomp her but Celty stepped out of the way and watched as Shinra fell face first onto the floor, then she started walking away to her room.
"Ah! W-wait Celty, just let me hug you once in a while, you know it's normal for people to think they cook badly, but your cooking is really good, it's always so bland and that's just how I like it." Shinra hurried after her through the door to the living room.
As Shizuo watched the door close, he heard a small groan coming from Izaya's room, and rushed in to find an Izaya with his head wrapped up and a drip in his arm. He couldn't help but snicker at Izaya for looking so defenceless but as soon as he saw those dull eyes he stopped and walked closer to get a better look at the flea.
"Oi"
No answer.
"Oi, flea."
Still nothing, Shizuo was getting a bit frustrated now.
"DAMN FLEA, I'M TALKING TO YOUU!" Shizuo picked up an extra cushion on one of the chairs and threw it at Izaya's face. Shizuo then gave a satisfied smile as the raven blinked three times before his eyes focused on him.
As soon as Izaya woke up, he found himself under an unfamiliar ceiling, he sat up with a groan, the result of a strong headache that suddenly made its way to his head, his vision began tunnelling because of the headache. And during this whole time, which was actually a few minutes, he didn't notice Shizuo walking into the room and shouting at him, but as soon as he felt something soft hit his face he snapped out of it and looked up, vision beginning to focus as he blinked more.
The first thing Izaya saw was the debt collector, Shizuo, and as soon as he did he smirked as he always did.
"Ara, if it isn't Shizu-chan, watching me sleep - hehe - just like you always do." Izaya looked at Shizuo with those crimson eyes of his with a smug expression on his face.
"Tch, I didn't watch you sleep, I only just came in when you groaned, fle -"
"Hoo, and how would you prove that? How would you prove that while I was knocked out you weren't sitting on that chair next to you and fantasising about little me over here?" Izaya smirked as he waited for Shizuo's reaction, he knew what it was going to be though.
"He, I'LL ABSOLUTELY NEVER, EVERY FANTASISE ABOUT SOMETHING AS INSIGNIFICANT AND EVIL AS YOU!" Shizuo then went on throwing more cushions at the informant since it would be bad if he threw anything else there however tempting it was to throw one of the tables or chairs at the flea. Shinra would either use him for an experiment or torture him using his weird machines, and Shizuo really didn't either.
Izaya got out of bed, only covered by his shirt and the thin blanket that was on top of him when he woke up.
"Shizu-chan, I'm going to change so would you mind waiting outside and then throw cushions when I come out? Or, would you prefer to stay?" Izaya took a step toward the debt collector, but as he did, the collector took a few steps toward the door, then ran out with a slight blush on his cheeks. Izaya had noticed it, and he was definitely going to use it against him later.
The raven then started putting on his normal clothes, black pants, top, then pulled on his fur-trimmed coat. He spent a few minutes sitting on the bed after that, thinking about things like 'why does Shizu-chan hate me?' or 'what am I going to do?' he knew the answer to the first question, but he really didn't know what to do. As his quick mind brought up ideas, both smart and not so smart, he found none that would make him as well as Shizuo happy, after all, if you loved someone wouldn't you want that person to smile and be happy even if you're in the total opposite condition… even if the other absolutely hated you?
If Shizuo hated Izaya, then he decided that Shizuo would probably want Izaya gone, to never annoy him again, dead. And since Izaya loved Shizuo so much, he decided that he would do anything to make him happy, and so the small raven knew what he was going to do. He stood up and walked out the door, ignoring the cushions and words being thrown at him, only thinking of his destination.
A/N: Okay, so this is the second chapter of 'I was broken', I would like to say thank you to Capella Sherlock Holmes and RavenAndRobinLover for reviewing, to Akari Yukimura, Aliinna and Love-girl2015 for following.
And a special shout-out to Rikka-tan for giving me some advice on writing.
Just to make sure I update on time, I'll post the deadlines I've set for myself: Chapters 1 - 8 will be posted every day until the 13th of this month, October, and the rest of the chapters after that will come out at one week intervals.
Sometimes it'll be less (or more) time between updates but that just depends on what mood I am, how busy I am with yearly tests which are coming up in a month and however long it takes for my parents to realise that it's past 10:30pm and that I was still on my laptop. Luckily right now I'm on a holiday and we're staying in different rooms so maybe I can get out more than 8 chapters in the next week, we'll just have to see. But if I don't update on time just spam my PM's with something and I'll try get it up ASAP.
Well I guess I'll see you guys in the next chapter, don't forget to review and if you see something wrong with my writing just review and criticise freely.
Over and out,
~ Mercy ~
