Dragon Ball GB ("Gender Bent")
A fanfiction written by Christopher .J.
"Dragon Ball" created by Akira Toriyama
This is non-profit fan-based work. Dragon Ball and all characters are owned by Akira Toriyama, Toei Animation, Viz Media and FUNimation
Chapter One: "Boxers and the Monkey Queen."
A long, long time ago in a deep dark forest far from civilization, beyond a towering range of…well, you get the idea. Anyway, this tale is about a little girl who was once lost in a forest as a baby. The baby was found by Son Goha, a female martial artist and became the baby's grandmother. What made Son Goku different from other little girls was that this one had the strength of at least 5 men. Therefore, she was taught by her grandmother the ways of the martial artist. However, as Son Goha died, Goku had to fend for herself in the forests of Mt. Pazou. And in this forest, is where our adventure begins….
In a forest somewhere down the mountains, a little, spiky, blacked haired girl with a monkey's tail and wearing a light blue gi with red pants underneath is rolling down a pathway on top of a log, like a lumber jack. She catches the eye of a family of monkeys.
"Hey, guys! How's it goin'?" said little Son Goku to the monkeys. She giggles as she heads down to a little hut. Later, Goku stares at the log and goes into a fighting position. She then runs up the log, grabs it and throws it up into the air. She then kicks the log and it breaks into many pieces.
"Well, that takes care o' the woodchoppin'" said Goku as she gathers all the pieces and stacks them up. "Only now, I'm hungry." she complained. She enters the hut and looks at an orange ball with four red stars on it. Goku bows down to the ball and enters a prayer position.
"Hey, gran'ma" Goku called the ball. "I'm gonna go get me somethin' to eat now. I'll be back soon." Goku leaves the hut. Soon, somewhere far from the hut, a lavender-haired young man, who looks to be about 16 and wearing a t-shirt that says "Bloomer", is seen standing near his car, as if he's searching for something.
"Got to be right around…here" said the young man. He looks at a strange contraption he is holding and pushes a button. It makes a beeping sound.
"Or maybe a little more to the west? Anyway, I'm close!" The young man hops into his car and drives off. Now, Goku is seen walking to a cliff. Down, she sees a giant lake. "Well, looks like I'm gonna have fish tonight!" she said before leaping off the cliff. Goku soon grabs a tree branch and swings and lands on a nearby rock. Goku begins to strip herself nude and dips her tail into the water.
A fish is swimming around until it sees Goku's tail, thinking it's a worm. "Huh?" said the fish. "All right! Som' dinner!" The fish leaps out of the water, and Goku jumps up and kicks the fish, killing it. Later, Goku, with her clothes on, is dragging the fish back to her hut.
"Wotta catch! Wotta catch!" said Goku as she giggles. However, her giggles stop as she hears a strange noise coming from the pathway. "Huh? What's that?" questioned the little monkey-girl. Soon, the car the young man from earlier was driving is headed straight towards Goku.
"AHHH!" screeched Goku! "WAA!" screamed the young man as the car skids across the road, narrowly missing Goku. "Hey, stupid!" screamed the boy. "Watch where your going!" After a brief moment of daze, Goku gets angry. "So, a monster, eh?" screamed Goku. "Tryin' to snatch my dinner from me?" Soon, Goku lifts the car up and throws it at least two blocks from her. She grabs a red pole from her back and stands as if ready to fight.
"Well, come on you coward! C'mon and fight!" screamed Goku. The boy comes up from the wreckage with a small pistol and begins shooting at Goku. "Eat lead, demon!" cried the boy as he continuously shoots at the little monkey-girl. As she lies on the ground, seemingly dead, the boy displays a quick sense of remorse. "Oh, no" said the boy, quietly and remorsefully "I killed that kid."
However, Goku gets back up on her feet and moans in pain. The boy appears surprised that the little girl had survived. "Wh..What the hell?" asked the boy with a sense of fright. "Why aren't you dead? I…I just shot at you!" Goku huffs and says "Stupid! Y'think those little ouches can hurt me? My skin is tough as the toughest stone! Now, prepare to die, witch!" Goku leaps up into a fighting position and yells a battle cry. Soon, the boy drops his gun, raises his hands up and says "HEY, LOOK! I'M NOT A MONSTER OR A WITCH! I'M A HUMAN!"
Goku soon stops dead on her tracks in amazement. "Huh? A human?" Goku said. "Really?" The boy steps out of the wreckage. "Yeah, silly." said the boy. "Take a gander." Goku investigates the boy, checking if he's telling the truth.
"Well", said Goku. "You kinda look like me, but…somethin's different. Your look flatter, leaner…and a lot less bumpier." The boy, annoyed at the monkey-girl's naivety, huffs. "Well, no duh, Nancy Drew!" said the boy. "Your a little feral girl, and I'm a handsome boy!" Goku stands shocked and amazed. "B..Boy? You mean….a male?" asked Goku.
"Well, duh!" said the boy. "Surely you seen a boy before." "Are you kidding?" said Goku. "I've never seen another human before. But, my dead granma always told me, 'when you meet a boy, treat 'em nice'" The boy stands flattered. "Well", said the boy. "you'd make a good wife one day. Now, shouldn't you get started." Goku soon turns the back of the purple-haired boy. "So, males don't have tails, huh?" said Goku. "Man, that's weird." The boy stands a bit shocked, and then laughs. "Pff! What a bimbo!" thought the boy. "She probably thinks wearing that stupid fake tail makes her look sexy!"
Goku walks over to the boy's car and stares at it. "So, what kinda monster didja catch anyway?" The boy sighs. "That 'monster' happens to be my car." explained the boy. "Wow!" exclaimed Goku as she jumps uptop the young man's car.
"So, this is a car. Grannma told me all about these, but I've never seen one before. And, as of right now, I'm not really impressed." Goku jumps down from the car and looks up at the boy. "Say, mister" said Goku. "are you from 'civilization'?" The boy answers "Well, let's just say I'm from way, way far west." Goku soon picks up her fish and begins to walk towards the hut. "Well, come over to my place" said Goku. "Since your boy, you're probably hungry, so I'll feed you." The boy soon follows Goku to the hut.
"You know, for a little girl, you're pretty strong" said the boy. "Yeah" said Goku. "Granma trained me good!" The boy flashes a smile across his face, as he has a thought about what to do with Goku: "She may be some freaky tomboy, but I think I can use her strength to my advantage." The duo reaches Goku's hut. Goku enters the place, as does the boy. Goku soon goes on her knees in-front of the orange ball. "Granma, look!" said Goku. "It's a male! A real-life human male from civilization in our house!"
The boy stares at the orb with some interest, until…"HEY!" cried the boy. "That's it! The Dragon Ball!" The boy rushes over little Goku and grabs the orb he calls a "dragon ball." "This is it!" cried the boy! "I knew it! The scouter was right on!" But, Goku angrily grabs on to the boy and yells "HEY! LEGGO OF MY GRANMA!" The boy stands confused. "This ball was her last, most prized possession! Even boys weren't allowed to touch it!" said Goku. The boy sighs and says "Oh, well. Looks like I gotta tell you my little secret."
The boy pulls out two other orange orbs, one with two red stars and the other five! "Voila!" exclaimed the boy. Goku stands with sheer amazement. "Wow!" said Goku. "Two Granmas!" "No, stupid!" said the boy rather rudely. "These things are called 'Dragon Balls', and if your thinking about the actual balls of a dragon, then keep your mind out of the gutter! These orbs are part of a collection of seven mystical artifacts. From my research, I have learned that when your gather all seven balls together, a magical dragon will come out to grant one wish, and it can be anything!" Goku is amazed at the boy's story. "I found one of them in my cellar." said the boy. "Before my research, I didn't even know where this came from….and neither did anyone I asked."
"Granma has a ball with four stars" said Goku. "Yes," repiled the boy. "That's the Four-Star Ball, 'Sushinchu'. The one I found was the Two-Star Ball, or 'Arushinchu' and this baby right here is the Five-Star Ball, 'Oshinchu'. I've spent weeks trying to find these balls." Goku is amazed that the boy had made such a seemingly perilous journey. "So, what's your gonna wish for once you find all these balls?" asked Goku. "Well," the boy said. "I was gonna wish for a lifetime supply of strawberries, but now, I think I'm gonna wish for one super-sexy girlfriend!" The boy blushes and giggles at the thought of it. Goku, angry that the boy had taken such a fantastic journey to make such a crazy wish, grabs the Four-Star Ball away from him. "No way!" cried Goku. "I'm not gonna let you take Granma away just to a make a dumb wish like that! She's the only one I got left!" The boy is now angry that Goku is keeping him from his quest, but regains composure and looks at the girl with a sly smile.
"Oh" said the boy, with a bit of huskiness in his voice and as he puffs up his chest. "I think I might know what a girl like you might want. You said haven't seen a boy before, right?" Goku stands confused, but nods. "Well" repiled the boy, who rolls up his sleeve and makes a muscle, which is quite small considering his skinny build. "if you hand over that ball, I'll let ya feel my arm. Heck, I might even give you a peek of my abs." "Huh?" said Goku. "Why would I wanna touch your wimpy-looking arm?"
The boy is now furious as he says "IT IS NOT WIMPY, YOU RUDE LITTLE TOMBOY!" The boy regains composure again, but not by much, as he says "Look, your grandma told you be nice to boys, right?" Goku nods. "Okay then!" said the boy. "You can join me in my quest!" Goku stands confused. "You wan' me to go with ya?" asked Goku. "Why'd you ask!" asked the boy. "Your a jungle girl! Aren't you supposed to love quests?" "Well," said Goku, and during a brief pause. "Okay, I'll go with you. But, I'm not letting you take granma!"
"All right, all right!" said the boy. "I'll just borrow it at the very end, okay?" The boy laughs deviously as he thinks: Yes, perfect! Moron-Girl will be the perfect bodyguard! *sigh* I feel like such a wimp for letting a girl handle all the physical stuff. But, she is strong and I need that. Besides, she doesn't even know that once the wish is granted….the Dragon Ball'll fly off to the ends of the Earth!"
"Well, let's get going!" said the boy. "Hey, um, mister?" said Goku. "How are we gonna find the Dragon Balls if we don't know where they are?" The boy laughs arrogantly. "I ain't just a handsome face, y'know!" said the boy, as he pulls out the strange digital device he carried before. "This is my 'Dragon Ball' Scouter! This device can pick up the faint electromagnetic pulse of the balls. As you can see, there are three in the middle, which are the ones we have now, and the next closest is to the west, which is about 1,200 kilometers."
"Cool!" said Goku. "But, how are we gonna get there?" "Well," said the boy. "since you destroyed my car, I'll have to take out a new one." The boy pulls out a little container. However, he turns to the monkey-tailed girl and he asks "By the way, what's your name, kid?" "I'm Goku. Son Goku" answered the girl. "What's yours?" The boy soon begins to feel embarrassed and groans. "Um…" said the boy. "Bloomer." Goku starts laughing hysterically. "'Bloomer?' What kinda name is that for a boy?"
"SHUT UP!" screamed the boy. "I DIDN'T PICK THIS NAME!" Soon, Goku starts singing a song, which repeats his name. Bloomer stands quite angry as he thinks. "Damn it! This is why I ain't planning on ever having kids!" He soon opens up his container, which carries small little capsules with numbers on them. "Let's see" said Bloomer, who is trying his best to shrug off Goku's obnoxious teasing. "Ah, Number 9!"
Bloomer grabs the capsule that says "number 9", pushes a tiny button on top and throws it into the air.
*BOM!*
The little capsule explodes out a motorbike. Goku stands shocked and terrified! "EEK!" screeched Goku. "I KNEW IT! YOUR ARE A WITCH!" Bloomer just sighs as he gets on the bike. "Ah, give it a rest, Ape-Woman!" said Bloomer. "Everybody where I come from got Hoi-Poi Capsules. Now go swing your tail up here, brat!" Goku hops on the motorbike and they drive off. "EEE-YOW! WOW!" screamed Goku, surprised at how fast the motorbike's going.
And thus begins the many adventures Bloomer and Son Goku will have. In fact, up next comes an incredible chapter of our story. Just stay put!
(okay, if your confused, the bold text means that they're is a narrator talking and the bold text with * * stand for sound effects.)
Characters shown here:
Bloomer Briefs (Male!Bulma)
Son Goku/Kaka (Fem!Goku/Kakarot)
