The Perils of Reminiscing

Genre: Friendship, Humour

Pairings: None

Main characters: Greg, John, Sherlock

Eurstrade tie-ins: The Case of the Missing Pooh; How They Deal with Problem Bears


Greg Lestrade was jonesing for turkey.

Roast turkey, to be exact. With stuffing chock full of savoury vegetables and poultry seasoning, mashed potatoes, steamed vegetables, turkey gravy, homemade dinner rolls with real butter… even the pumpkin pie that North Americans seemed to love and Brits didn't seem to have much use for… in other words, everything he had been treated to on his trip to Churchill, Manitoba, in the Canadian sub-arctic.

"When I was in Churchill, it happened to be right on Canadian Thanksgiving weekend," Greg said. "The NCO in charge of the local RCMP detachment found out I was a copper, so after a full tour of their detachment and a ridealong in the cruiser, he invited me to join him and his family for their Thanksgiving celebration. God, what a bloody marvelous feast that was," he reminisced, almost dreamily, while meeting John and Sherlock at their favourite pub.

"It sounds fascinating," John said, looking down at the roast beef sandwich he had ordered. Suddenly, it didn't seem so special anymore. "Actually," he said, "it does sound bloody marvelous," he said, sadly. He pushed his plate away and sighed.

"Um, are you going to eat that?" Sherlock asked, eyeing up the abandoned sandwich. He had been too engrossed in a case that day to remember to eat, and Greg's talk of full course holiday meals was making his belly gurgle. John simply grunted, pushing the plate in front of Sherlock.

"Ah, I can still smell that dressing. Their entire house smelled absolutely divine. And pumpkin pie is highly underrated in the UK. They served it with real whipped cream too. Pure bloody bliss." Greg stared down at his own order of fish and chips, sighing sadly. It had seemed like a good idea when he ordered it. Now, it just seemed… sorely lacking somehow.

"Um… are you going to…" Sherlock began. Greg gave him a sarcastic look.

"Go ahead, my appetite seems to have headed across the pond anyway," Greg said, pushing his plate over towards Sherlock.

"You know," John said suddenly, "How hard could it be to cook up a feast like that? I mean really, it's just a roasted bird. The rest is just… extras."

And with that fateful suggestion, an incident would soon come to be known as "Sherlock Flipped the Bird". It was alternatively known as, "It Was John's Idea", and most popularly, "Shut the Hell Up, Greg."

It would go down in the annals of history in the kitchen at 221B Baker Street – the mere mention of which would raise Mrs. Hudson's blood pressure at the memory of what her boys had done to her kitchen, throw Molly Hooper into a fit of helpless giggling at the sight of Sherlock, John, and Greg in frilly pink and mauve aprons (courtesy of Mrs. Hudson), and make three grown men shudder from the memory of flames, a bird seemingly incapable of cooking through, dinner rolls you could play cricket with, and a dessert that would emphasize the reason why pumpkin pie had never caught on much in the UK.

When next they met at the pub, after the smoke had figuratively – and literally – cleared, it was generally agreed upon that Greg would keep his happy memories of his Canadian holiday firmly close to his chest.

Greg had been more than happy to comply.