I HAVE A PROBLEM.

This was meant to be a one shot... its not even my ship of choice. But I want to continue with it... Damn my writing addiction.

So if this isn't great... tough. I had no hint of plan for it when I wrote the one shot and I am almost entirely making it up as I go (I do have the basic outline but no filler at all so that's all pretty spur of the moment).

You ask for it... I do it. Usually.

-HTTYD-

Hiccup knew it was sick, and he knew it was wrong. Every time he struggled to perform with Astrid and had to picture his own mother to become aroused, every time he had to bury his face in her blonde hair to muffle his whispers of "mom" at the point of climax. Every time he had to make love to her in enforced darkness so his fiance would not see the bruises Valka left when she bit him to quiet her cries.

It didn't stop him.

His mother could tell when Hiccup was in a turbulent mood, would lower her nightdress and let him latch on to her breast. It had a dual effect everytime, both soothing and arousing them both. He knew from passing conversations with new parents that nursing a baby could both feed and calm them. Apparently it still worked on an adult man. When his pulsing cock would wait no longer, Hiccup fumbled to remove the night tunic his mother wore and kicked his shorts down.

"Here. Let me."

His mother climbed into his lap, lowering herself down on his erection and kissing him gently. He knew what she was doing - Hiccup could be a little too rough as he fought to contain his desires, this was her usual way of slowing him down. He let her, finding almost the same enjoyment in her soft sighs riding him as her desperate cries when he fucked her. This way at least, he could bury both hands in her hair. It was just like his but longer, thick brown locks cascading down over her shoulders and Hiccup couldn't keep his hands off it.

It should be losing its spark, the intensity should be waning after almost a year. But as he watched his mother achieve climax, clenching in the most exquisite way around his cock, Hiccup felt like it was only getting hotter. Thrusting up to release deep inside her, he let her cradle his face against her breast and listened to her rapid heartbeat.

Gentle fingers traced the crescent moon shapes patterning the back of his shoulders, small patches of broken skin where his mother had clutched tight to anchor herself through the peak. Valka kissed his sweaty hair, sighing contentedly when he massaged her scalp where his hands were embedded deep in her glorious strands.

"I should hate myself for this."

"No my boy. You shouldn't."

She tilted his head back slowly, leaning to kiss him soft and gentle. It was unhurried and intimate, more so than most other times and Hiccup didn't know how to deal with it. It was far easier to seperate things if he felt like he was in love with Astrid, and just... had this connection to his mother.

It got harder the more those lines blurred. Feeling the heat rise again, Hiccup murmured against her skin before he got lost in the desire.

"Are you too sore?"

"No."

She whispered back, wrapping her arms around his shoulders so he could roll them around and lay her down. If she had been too sore, Hiccup knew they would just trade pleasure with each others mouths, but blissfully, she wasn't denying him this. Pushing her thighs apart and bending her legs at the knee, Hiccup successfully spread Valka open to his ravenous gazes and watched the delicate flush cross her pale skin, surprisingly smooth for someone who had lived amongst various thorny reptiles. Tracing a hand down the quivering inner thigh muscle, he shifted into position.

"Do you want to hear something funny?"

His mother looked mildly confused, then her face went slack as Hiccup penetrated her. The position he put her legs in allowed for deeper penetration, as close as two could possibly be. Feeling the familiar intense heat wash over him, Hiccup rolled his hips to savour it before focusing on trying to speak again.

"Well. Do you?"

Valka clearly didn't care for a conversation right now, bucking her own hips to attempt to encourage Hiccup to move. As if he needed more reason, more desire to consume her, devour her body in the most erotic way possible.

"I'm going to tell you anyway. They say the truest thing about a Viking is that the place he is born from is the place he spends until death trying to get back in to."

Punctuating his point with a deep, purposeful thrust, Hiccup watched closely to see her back arch, eyes flutter closed and teeth close around her own bottom lip to quiet her sounds. His mother was a vocal lover, frequently expressing her pleasure and desire for their sins. Placing the tips of his fingers on her stomach, Hiccup dragged them downwards to stroke and press against where their bodies became one. He stilled, waiting until her eyes opened and stared deep into his.

"But I'd say I'm the only Viking who went this far to do it."

Unable to hold back a second longer, Hiccup ground their hips together and drank down her desperate sounds, hearing murmurs of "my sweet boy" between their lips as he hooked one of her legs around his waist before letting the primal instincts take over.

It didn't matter how many hundreds, maybe even thousands of times by now he had experienced this slick, welcoming embrace, Hiccup could never seem to tire of finding new sounds to win from her, new ways to make his mother grow wet and need his touch. Slim hands gripped at him, clutched and tugged at his hair as the pace grew hotter, their sloppy kisses blistering.

"Gods mom, I won't last much longer."

"Me too Hiccup, you make me feel so- ah!"

Her voice had grown strained, gaining pitch at the end before she cried out in pleasure as she climaxed. A perfect storm of emotions and sensations, reactions Hiccup was intimately familiar with, a dedicated student of his mothers pleasure by now.

Filling her again with the messy, sticky substance she seemed ever-desperate to extract from him in all manner of eager, pleasurable ways, Hiccup bit down on her shoulder to quiet the feral growls in his throat until the rush began to ease. Grabbing a glorious handful of that tempting mane of hair, Hiccup hauled her mouth to his to kiss her roughly before dropping heavily next to her and panting through the exertion.

Valka turned and curled into Hiccups chest, sighing happily as she settled and he accepted that they were done for the night. He couldn't help it... once was so rarely enough. Their bodies seemed perfectly built to torment the other, and once Hiccup accepted his mother could make him hard, his cock constantly called to be inside her again.

The gods must frown on their union, Hiccup knew. How else could they have been doing this for so long and have not created a child? Especially given how they had virtually never used the protective sheathing Astrid insisted on. Toothless certainly didn't understand it, his confused expression every time he found mother and hatchling together, nude and post-mating in his mind.

The familiar tingles of shame were lingering low in his gut when he woke, his mothers bare thigh pressed to his morning erection and Toothless warbling low in his throat. Reaching his free arm to pat the reptilian nose, Hiccup answered the judgement in his face.

"I know bud. I know."

Everything had begun to slow down around them, the dragons were all fine and the village was essentially back to pre-Drago. Minus the loss of his father that was, except for that statue Hiccup loved and hated in equal measure - the dedication was amazing, proof of how amazing a chief Stoick had been. But his father would seem to be watching Hiccup, knowing what he and the chiefs widowed wife did.

Astrid wanted to take advantage of that slowness, wanted their official marriage to be happening but Hiccup kept finding excuses. Kept finding ways to ensure he spent most nights having access to intimate contact with his own mom. By the time Hiccup had cleaned himself up and dressed in his riding gear, shame was quite eagerly becoming guilt. And yet he was watching his mother dress, lamenting the way her skin disappeared beneath each garment but enjoying her shy smile, the fact she didn't hide her body from him.

Giving Toothless his usual barrel of fish, Hiccup watched as Valka prepared a herb-based tea while he ate some leftover chicken to quiet his growling stomach.

"Mom, are you sick?"

"No, of course not. I would have told you my dear. This is just something Gothi gave me to settle my stomach pains."

Nodding in understanding, Hiccup resumed eating. He knew from Astrid alone that when they had their monthly female fertility indicator, it could cause pains in their stomach. And if he admitted it to himself, he knew by now when roughly those three nights his mother solely pleasured him with her mouth were due. Which was soon.

"So you're alright?"

"I am wonderful. I'm here with you my sweet boy."

Knowing it was too risky, Hiccup let her cup his cheek and kiss him softly anyway. The herb tea was not a pleasant flavour, but he doubted his cold chicken breakfast was any better and her soft, small mouth could still make the usual arousal begin.

"Mmm. Not here. I have chief things to do."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

Hiccup considered it, watching the beginnings of sunlight catching the auburn hints of her hair.

"Are you sure you're alright? I don't want to send you out if you're sick."

"I promise I'm fine. And Cloudjumper would always take care of me, you know that."

Picturing the mammoth Stormcutter dragon, Hiccup was inclined to agree.

"Alright. I want you to head out to Dragon Island, you have a better real world experience of species and I know there's been some new species migrating closer by. Do not put yourself in danger. I don't know what I would do without you."

The last sentence was said near silently, but it was clear Valka heard every word as her smile - the smile he had inherited - crossed her face.

"I'll head out as soon as Stormcutter is done eating."

"Don't come back unless you have to. I'll join you there this afternoon."

They seperated, and after Hiccup saw her off and did his circle of the island, he went to grab Gobber from the armoury and dragged him up to Gothi - he needed a translator and Fishlegs talked too much.

"Gothi, do you have a minute?"

The wizened elder nodded, picking up her staff and shooing away the terrible terror atop it. Gobber hobbled over alongside Hiccup, watching as he knelt down. He had to check.

"Is my mom sick? She says no, but I have to be sure."

Gothi tipped her little head to the side, then started scratching symbols into the sand.

"What did she say Gobber?"

"She said that for her sacrifice, the cods-OW sorry, the gods have granted her a second dance. Ow! Second chance!"

Rubbing his head where Gothi had hit him, Gobber translated the scribbles. Hiccup, still confused, asked the elder and healer to elaborate.

"I'm not repeating that! Sorry chief, I am being dismissed."

Gobber ambled away, leaving Hiccup even more confused than ever. Kneeling back next to Gothi, Hiccup waited for an answer.

"What is it Gothi?"

Watching her scratch away was frustrating, because he couldn't translate what she said nearly as easily as others. However, she drew something even Hiccup could understand.

"She's pregnant?"

The elder nodded, then turned away to potter over to her barrel of herbs. She came back with a small bag, pressing it into his hand.

"The tea she's drinking. That's for the sickness, right?"

Another nod. Hiccup thanked the tiny woman, standing back up and tucking the pouch of herbs into Toothless' saddlebag. He wanted to go straight for Dragon Island, but that would be suspicious. He did a few of his standard chief tasks - checked food stores, checked on Bucket's bucket and held hands with his fiance. All the while, his mind was elsewhere.

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Sorry Astrid, I didn't sleep well last night. I've been a little out of it."

The blonde considered him, but seemed to accept that he was telling the truth and smiled a little again.

"Alright. As I was saying... how about your dragon-versary? For the wedding? Since without you meeting Toothless, I would never have noticed what a wonderful man was standing right before me."

Far from a compliment, Hiccup felt his skin crawl. Wonderful... Astrid had no clue her 'wonderful' fiance spent nearly every night cheating on her. With his mom. Who he needed to speak to. Desperately.

"That's real soon. I'm not sure it could be arranged that fast."

"You let me worry about that. Is that a yes?"

Though few would be surprised, Hiccup knew it was probably less than normal how Astrid was in control of their relationship. Guilt-ridden, Hiccup had denied her very little. Except the wedding date he had inadvertently just set. Her face was so excitable, Hiccup had to make himself force out the word.

"Yes."

Astrid beamed, throwing her arms around him and cheering. Several nearby Vikings eyed the display of elation in confusion.

"I'll get right on it chief. I would say I'll come over tonight, but actually... I think we ought to maybe wait until the wedding. Then maybe we could... start trying?"

Hiccup wanted to vomit, he was sick with himself. Making himself smile in return, Hiccup shrugged.

"Maybe. We should see how we feel on the night. I don't want to start trying because that's the traditional time."

"Of course. I'm going to go get started planning. Leave it all to me, you go be chief-y."


Valka stretched out along Cloudjumper's back, taking a break from her usual wing-walking method. The dragon took it in stride, flying a little more evenly to let his rider stay comfortable. The tea Gothi had given her did wonders for her sickness - she could not imagine being unable to fly for fear of nausea.

Dragon Island was swarming with dragons, a few species newly arrived in the last year. Cloudjumper kept a close vigil, but many of the wild dragons could clearly sense that Valka was a friend - like they did with Hiccup. Her precious son.

Speaking of, Cloudjumper turned in perfect time to indicate the black dart through the sky, Toothless and her darling boy Hiccup landing as soon as they spotted Cloudjumper.

"Hiccup! I have much to tell you."

Hiccup didn't answer, dismounting his dragon and scanning the surrounding terrain. Apparently seeing what he wanted, he grabbed her hand and pulled her along until they were half-hidden in a small cave with the dragons outside. Her question of what was going on was swallowed in his feral kiss, and their layers of clothing were in no way designed for quick removal. Hiccup managed anyway, fingers finding their way into her as he stimulated his mother to a heady state of arousal.

Despite his slighter stature, Hiccup had little trouble lifting her up against the wall and holding her there as his thick erection nudged between her thighs. His hands occupied, Valka reached down to help position him, crying out into the dark cave as he filled her. Clutching at him for stability, she let him take her the way he wanted to and took a great deal of pleasure from it herself.

It was over fairly quickly, Hiccups deep groans echoing in their hideaway as he spilled deep inside her body. He let her down onto shaking legs, both righting their clothes and she could see a proud bruise on his neck - she hadn't even noticed biting him, lost in the mindless pursuit of climax.

"You should have told me mom. I shouldn't have had to find out from Gothi."

"I had planned to my son, I was just trying to find the right words."

Hiccup burrowed his face into the crook of her neck, inhaling deeply to satisfy himself with her scent - a habit he had absolutely picked up from so much time with dragons.

"This is going to get complicated."

"The gods have smiled on us Hiccup. This is a blessing."

For Valka, it was as close as she could ever get to offering Hiccup the chance to experience her as a mother. With their own child. Hiccup wasn't having a full scale panic, but he was obviously further down on the happiness scale than she. He sighed, dropping his eyes so she couldn't quite make out his feelings.

"Astrid picked a date. I couldn't think of another excuse this time."

Hiccup was adamant he still loved Astrid, still wanted to marry her - in the future. It made Valka feel horrendously temporary, even as Hiccup clung tighter to her and admitted to things like his inability to become aroused solely by the young, firm Viking girl.

"We will get through this Hiccup. Together."

"Thanks mom."

His hands squeezed her tighter, then one slid around to splay across her stomach. It was slightly possessive, and that thrilled her in all manner of ways as she felt her undergarments grow wetter.

"How long have you known?"

"Only a few weeks. I was going to tell you soon, I promise."

"I believe you. Just... a lot to take in."

Embracing him tightly, Valka took a perverse sort of happiness from knowing her only child had sired the future one. He was beautiful and strong, their child would undoubtedly be a perfect gift of the gods. He pulled back eventually, reaching for the bruise on his neck and grimacing lightly.

"I better think of something to tell Astrid. Let's get outside before the dragons get antsy."

Valka couldn't resist watching when Hiccup attempted to explain the suspicious bruising to his fiance - it wasn't the first time by far she had marked her son as they lost themselves in carnal pleasure, but it had mostly been confined to shoulders and back, never visible out of his clothes. In the end, he relied on his public-knowledge clumsiness and the fact if Astrid was suspicious, she would take Valka's insistence she and her son were together that afternoon.

"Mom was trying to teach me that spinny-stick stuff... it didn't go well."

Astrid laughed and kissed his 'injury' better, making Valka itch to tell her to back off. She was not naive, knew Hiccup was still engaging in sex with her and would likely continue to do so. That didn't mean she relished the sight of Astrid touching the bruise at all, let alone putting her lips on that slightly scratchy throat Hiccup often squirmed from having touched.

"Did you hear Valka? We set a date!"

"That is wonderful news my dear."

Astrid, completely unaware she was all but intruding in their home - for now - beamed, sitting on Hiccup's knee with an arm around his shoulders.

"We were even talking about... you know, trying, but Hiccup being the smart stubborn one said we should see if it feels right then."

"Astrid, my mom does not want to hear about our... marital stuff."

Unabashed, Astrid sent Hiccup off to fetch the mutton for dinner. His eyes were apologetic over his young fiances shoulder, apparently knowing or at least making a guess what was going to come up when he was out of the room.

"Have you noticed... is it me? Hiccup seems so distant sometimes."

Her immediate instinct being to encourage the problems, drive a wedge between them, Valka restrained herself. Hiccup swore he loved this girl, she couldn't hurt him that way.

"He has a heavy burden, it has made it difficult for him to grieve his father with so many calls on his time and soul. I know he loves you."

It was a fact she hated dearly, but it was true. Resisting the urge to cradle her still-flat stomach - she would have Hiccup's first child, regardless of Astrid - Valka made herself smile in an attempt at comforting.

"I know. It's probably just jitters, now we've agreed to the date and maybe a baby... I should go. We agreed to y'know. Wait. From now until then at least."

It wasn't technically considered proper for them to have relations before the wedding night. Then again, it wasn't in any way proper to have relations with ones offspring... perhaps she shouldn't make a big deal of their unchaste behaviour.

"Perhaps don't advertise that fact dear, many would not approve."

"And you?"

"All I want is my sons happiness."

They both took that in their own way - Astrid as a compliment of approval from the mother, and Valka knowing she was the only one Hiccup would be sharing a bed with until the wedding. And she intended to make him very happy until then.

Hiccup returned with the mutton, looking very confused to find Astrid gone.

"She felt unsure she could continue your abstinence promise if she stayed."

"She's gone home?"

At her nod, Hiccup practically leapt at her, mouths clashing roughly as his hands set to removing the fabric layers between him and his goal. Still in his riding trousers beneath his tunic, Hiccup groaned against her mouth when she cupped the tightly constrained bulge of his groin. They had never, ever let their trysts leave the bedroom before today, yet this would be the second time within a few hours.

Soaked undergarments finally yanked away, Hiccup hoisted her onto the table and knelt down to dive between her thighs. Gods, the things his mouth could do to her. She hadn't yet had chance to bathe since the caves, knowing he could undoubtedly still taste himself on her and it didn't slow him a jot. Clutching at the sturdy table as she writhed on his tongue, Valka tried not to cry out her immense pleasures for the whole village to hear. All it would take was one villager peering through the gap in the window shutters to see Hiccup's face between her spread legs...

Her climax came out of nowhere, hitting like a fireball as she reached to grip his hair, feeling his satisfied moan vibrate against her skin and it sent a wave of aftershocks rocking through her, pleasurable to the point of pain.

Hiccup stepped back, wiping his mouth as he straightened up and surveying her with smouldering eyes.

"You hungry?"

Knowing she would have to be more aware of eating correctly soon, Valka shivered with want under his intense look.

"Only for you."

"Good. Bed. I'll be one minute."

He turned to feed the dragons, something about his ability to care for them even as he desperately wanted to devour her body making her crave her son even more. She hastened to disrobe, skin finally bare as Hiccup slammed the door closed behind him and pinned her bodily to the bed. There was a new edge of brutal, primal need to his touch then, almost tearing his clothes in his haste to feel their naked skin touch and leaving bruises on her thighs in his need to get inside her.

"This is mine."

His hand cupped her ass, squeezing firmly and sending fresh shivers through her.

"This is mine."

Hiccup leaned down to kiss her, tongue invading her mouth as he claimed her again.

"This is mine."

His hand splayed over her stomach, referencing the life within they had created together. Hiccup was hell bent that entire evening and night, taking her repeatedly in bed, on the stairs, in the bathtub and one particularly memorable time as he gripped her hard enough to leave bruises and slammed their hips together until she was almost in tears, bent over the 'chiefs chair' in their home.

Sweet Odin's ghost, she could scarcely walk the next day but it had been worth every second. Hiccup was apologetic about how badly he had marked her, kissing the most prominent bruises and helping her bathe to ease her pains. Valka felt very little pain at all, but Hiccup clearly wanted to take care of her and she wasn't complaining.

She would take all she could get, as his wedding would change everything.

-HTTYD-

Hmm... I feel like this is one big smutty cheeseburger.

Allow me to explain that.

The actual storyline is the bun, shall we say. Holds it all together, but is nothing without filling. The smut is the burger, the important bit and the reason we are all here. The little extras, jokes and references and all the rest it... those are the condiments and cheese. Not totally necessary but improve the whole experience.

Probably won't get another update on this for a little while - I've been putting off writing Chosen Two for this! Then Rules To Bend... Basically I have stories to write! So I'll work on this as and when...