__________________ Chapter 2: The Fangirl Menace ______________________

"You aren't hungry?" Hermione sounded skeptical.

"Actually… " Ron started, then glanced at Harry. "Ugh, no, I was up really late eating snacks in the kitchen." His stomach chose this moment to growl.

Hermione frowned.

"Yep, so I'll be sick if I eat anything right now. And, uh, Harry's on a diet."

"What?? I am not!"

Ron pinched non-existent fat on Harry's stomach. "You're looking a little pudgy there, champ. Don't worry, Hermione won't tell anyone."

"Well… all right. I'll see you guys in the library fourth hour." Hermione gave them one last quizzical glance, then went down the stairs to the Great Hall.

Harry slapped Ron's hand away. "'Harry's on a diet?!' That's not believable at all!" He walked down the hall, Ron close behind him.

Ron shrugged. "Well, it's as believable as me not being hungry." They climbed the stairs that lead to the astronomy tower. Harry leaned against the thick stones and looked across the field to the Forbidden Forest, where the sun had just risen. It didn't look so forbidding in the early morning sun. Dew drops on the grass scattered rainbows where the sun hit them, and with the blue, cloudless sky above him, it was a lovely morning.

"So why couldn't we tell Hermione again?" Ron asked.

"You know how she'd get. We need proof, first, otherwise she'll say we were imagining it." Lovely indeed. Harry just wished he could shake the feeling that something was coming.

"Morning, Potter, Weasley." Draco appeared at the top of the stairs, stifling a yawn. He had a cup of what smelled like coffee in his right hand.

"You drink coffee?" Harry raised an eyebrow. Meanwhile, Ron was intent on something else.

"I'm not a morning person."

"What's that under your arm, Malfoy?" Ron's voice was dangerous.

"This?" Draco looked surprised. He pulled a box from under his arm. "Oh, I forgot… um, donuts, croissants, muffins… whatever Jacques got around to making."

"Jacques?" Ron asked, eyes on the box.

"Mums thought they weren't feeding me right, so she got together with a few of the important families, and they found aaaah-" Draco yawned. "Pardon. Where was I? Ah yes, Dumbledore agreed that Slytherin house could have its own chef as long as we paid for him." He blinked, looking as if a thought had just occurred to him. "Oh… do you want some?" He opened the box lid.

Ron looked torn. His fingers stretched toward the box, then he froze. On the one hand, long experience had told him not to trust anything having to do with Malfoy. On the other hand, he was starving. His mouth watering from the smell of freshly baked dough, he reached for a big, flaky éclair –

The box snapped shut. "Ugh, what am I thinking? Pardon me, I'm not quite myself this early in the morning." He took another sip of his coffee. "Let's see… instead of 'morning, Potter, Weasley,' I meant 'your parents had relations with farm animals.' Oh, and by 'do you want some,' I meant, 'get your own, Weasley.' Anyway, aren't you on a diet, Potter?"

Harry glared at Ron, but Ron didn't notice, as his eyes were still on the box. "Yeah, he is, but I'm not… come on Malfoy…"

"This isn't what we're up here to discuss," Harry said.

Draco nodded. "Potter's right. Um… for once."

"Where are your goons, by the way?" Harry asked.

"Oh, Crabbe went with Goyle's family to the Bahamas. Mr. Goyle invited me too, but Mums says Crabbe and Goyle are bad influences. Anyway, about these fangirls…"

"We can't make a move until they reveal themselves again. Revolting as it is, I suggest we stick together until they do," Harry said.

"Mmf," Malfoy was melodramatically licking dripping custard off of his fingers. "But you must realize how difficult this is going to be for me. As a member of a higher social class than you…"

"Yeah, yeah, we won't be nice to you as long as you promise not to be nice to us." Ron didn't seem to blink. "But… Harry and I don't really need you. I mean, we can watch each other's back. You can be on your own against the crazies. Unless, of course…"

Draco stopped his make-out session with a jelly donut. "But… you're Gryffindors… you wouldn't…" He looked at Harry, but Harry said nothing. "Fine." He held out the box. Ron snatched the éclair he had been eyeing up, and Harry took two muffins.

"Ugh. I feel all warm and gooey. I hope it's just the coffee. Potter, you're ugly. Weasley, where'd you get that stupid tie?"

"I'mf nomt wearging a tie," Ron muttered through a mouthful of éclair.

"Shut up."



It was agreed that they would only leave Hogwarts if all three of them were together. Malfoy reasoned that Hogwarts was pretty much a locked vault, so they wouldn't worry about it when they were in school; this caused some relief on both sides, as neither wanted spend much time with the other. Besides, Harry and Ron only had a few classes with Malfoy, and skipping class would definitely look strange.

Everything went fine, until potions. Ron and Hermione had paired up, and, for no reason Hermione could fathom, Harry and Draco were partners.

"Potter, you dolt, the feather goes in the potion!"

"Argh! I already put one in, Malfoy. Now you screwed it up."

"Ahem!" Snape cleared his throat, and Harry and Draco both looked up. Harry expected points to be arbitrarily deducted from Gryffindor, but Snape barely glanced at him. He was looking at the back of the class.

"Harry!" Ron whispered, tilting his head in the direction that Snape was looking.

Harry turned around.

"Let me introduce our three new students."

There, in the back, were the three fangirls, looking like near-perfect imitations of Harry, Ron, and Draco.


Author's note: Um... dun dun DUN! Thanks for reviewing! (Especially Psycho, who reviews everything!!!)