Chapter One
The next morning, Sheppard again strolled through the corridors of Atlantis. His mind recalled the day just over a week ago when he had taken this exact route. In fact, his actions last night had been pretty similar to that day with one glaring difference. When he woke this morning, he'd been faced with the same realization that he'd faced for the last four days. Earth no longer existed.
After Weir's announcement, the city descended into a state of shocked silence. Children sensed their parents' despair and sought to comfort them any way they could. Some children, like the Lorne girl, never knew Earth as their home. They were either Athosian or children of parents who were given Anna's ATA therapy. Sure, they had visited Earth, but they only knew it as a vacation spot.
Sheppard had left the control room and went in search of Nadia. She still sat in her lab, the information on the society that captured her attention scrolling unnoticed on her screen. It was the first time he'd been down here, and he didn't care who saw them. After all, everyone had left their posts and sought out the comforting presence of their friends and family. Nadia went to him immediately, and they walked to her quarters. Once there, he held her as much as she held him. The act of comforting another human being soothed him only marginally.
Sheppard listened to the sounds around him as he walked. No one had gone to work. The shock was still too great. Late last night, Nadia had finally broken down, and Sheppard held her until she slept. In fact, he didn't leave until she woke and assured him that she would be fine. The fact that he walked away so easily told him that this wasn't a relationship. They might have been sleeping together, but they didn't love each other. He wondered what to do now that he realized this. Break it off? No, it was too close to the destruction of Earth. Besides, he really liked Nadia. She was smart and funny, and she needed him. He liked being needed.
The silence of the city was broken by a strange sound from one of the balconies. Sheppard stopped and listened. Someone had found a way to express their anger. The electric guitar was loud and distorted. He grinned appreciatively at the riff that began with a slide down to the low notes. The guitar growled for a moment before a quick walk up to higher notes and continued to wail its way through a complicated chord change. Sheppard changed direction, determined to find out who played that kind of music. Probably one of the new Marines, he decided as he walked through the door onto the balcony.
A woman sat with her back to him, her head moving in time to the notes she played. Sheppard blinked. This was the woman he'd confronted in the control room a week ago-the one he wanted to explain Earth's demise to him. He now knew she was Rachel Harrison, the new head of psychology for Atlantis. Even now, she retained an innocent expression and a girl-next-door appearance. Her caramel-colored hair only fell to her middle back, and she'd pulled the front out of her face. Her Atlantis uniform was like everyone else's, and she wore very little makeup. But that innocent appearance didn't account for the pure rock that poured out of the amplifier at her feet.
Sheppard moved around the end of the bench, hoping he didn't scare ten years off of her life. She continued to play for a few minutes and then caught sight of him as she checked the position of the pedal at her feet. She straightened. "Colonel."
Sheppard motioned to the guitar she held. "That. . .that's not what I expected."
She grinned at him. "I try to be surprising." The grin faded. "Am I too loud? I can turn down the amp if I need to."
"No." He still stared at her. The contradiction of seeing a sweet lady like Dr. Harrison holding a black and white electric guitar still confused him a bit. "Well, maybe a little."
She turned the amp down and frowned slightly. "Is something wrong, Colonel?"
"No," he said again. "Well. . . ."
"Maybe a little?" she asked, echoing his words.
"It's just that we don't hear music like that on Atlantis unless it's from a CD."
"Is this a problem?"
"No!" He sounded more emphatic than he needed and lowered his voice. "I like it. It's just that most of the people around here are influenced by the Lornes. And they're into classical music and art. Not many truly understand rock music anymore."
"I understand that." She nodded. "Anna is a phenomenal musician, but her tastes are a little old for me. I like a good guitar solo. And bass. Gotta have a bass."
Sheppard turned to look out over the city rather than staring at her again. When he'd read her file, he expected someone much like Anna Lorne, not this spunky woman sitting behind him. He glanced at her again. "Been playing long?"
"About fifty years." She shrugged. "I played with a small indie band back on Earth for a time."
He watched the transformation take place on her face. She had walked herself into the memories and the one thing she undoubtedly wanted to escape. Her relaxed façade faded, and he saw a glimpse of the grief and anger under it. "Hey, if you want to be alone. . . ."
"No, I'm fine." She stood to put the guitar back in its case. "I just. . .wasn't expecting it to be this hard. I mean, I haven't played in that band in probably twenty years. I kind of drifted away from them about the time I changed my identity last time. But, it's still about. . . ."
"Earth."
"Yeah." She joined him at the railing, leaving enough distance between them to be appropriate. "I know what I should be doing. I should be meeting with my department, organizing them for what's about to come. I mean, with something this huge happening, we're going to have a lot of soldiers that don't want to talk coming to us, not to mention the scientists who don't have a soldier's discipline. And, of course, there's you and Dr. Weir and Colonel Lorne and everyone in leadership.
"But, I can't." She turned to stare at him. "I know I should, but I just can't do that right now. How can I help an entire city cope with losing their home world when I've lost my home world? Just two weeks ago, I left knowing I'd never return. But it was there. Now, it's not. And I don't know how to handle that."
Sheppard looked at her out of the corner of his eye. He didn't know what to say. She just opened her mouth and poured out all these feelings. He thought for a moment. "I think you should just take your time. Work it out for yourself."
"And what am I to do with all these soldiers who are looking for an outlet for their anger?" She smiled at him. "Colonel, I know you're a soldier, so psychologists and feelings aren't really what you're trained to handle. I just needed to voice some of this."
"Okay." What else was he supposed to say? "Like I said, take your time and work it out for yourself."
"Easier said than done." She shrugged. "I have to come out of hiding one day."
Sheppard thought about that. Had a psychologist just admitted to doing something she would counsel someone against? He thought she had, anyway. And, for that reason alone, he began to like her.
SGA SGA SGA SGA
Rachel stood next to Sheppard, feeling more awkward than she had in years. She had just opened her mouth and started talking, sensing someone who would understand. But the overwhelmed expression on his face told her that she had just stepped out of line. Oh, Colonel Sheppard wouldn't see it that way. But, with the pressures of commanding Atlantis's military on top of the grief from Earth's destruction, he didn't need his chief psychologist falling apart.
Rather than dwelling on her own grief, Rachel eyed the man next to her. Colonel Sheppard hid it well, but she saw signs of sleeplessness. He likely hadn't slept well since his trip to Earth. She didn't want to imagine the destruction that he'd seen. Not that he could get on the surface of the planet to confirm anything. She had heard the reports by now. The entire surface of Earth was radioactive, covered with fallout so severe it killed everything. The place that was once the Milky Way's hope for freedom from the Goa'uld was now a dead piece of rock spinning in space.
Rachel pulled her mind from that thought and steadied her voice. "What about you, Colonel? How are you coping?"
Sheppard eyed her again. "Fine."
"Just the answer I expected." She watched the thoughts crossing his face and realized that he didn't have the will to bury them right now. "Do me a favor, Colonel. Find someone to talk to about this. If it's not me, then find someone. Don't bury this, because it's too big to just bury under a calm face."
He nodded. "Back atcha." He finally faced her. "Listen, Doc, I have nothing against you personally. But I'm not the type to run to the psychologist with every little problem."
"I know that."
"Then you won't be upset if I don't appear in your office ready to spill the beans on all of this."
"I won't be upset." She met his eyes, willing them to contain the same steel she saw in his. "But, Colonel, you won't be upset if you have to come talk to me once or twice. I'm probably going to make this a requirement for all department heads and command staff. That includes you and Colonel Lorne. Dr. Weir, too. We can't fall apart here."
Sheppard stared at her as if trying to read her mind. Rachel refused to back down. In the years that she'd been on Earth, she discovered that genetics was fun, but psychology was her love. Her heartbeat. She loved sitting with a patient, listening to them work out the intricacies of their own emotions. This version of psychology wasn't practiced as much anymore, but Rachel liked it more than prescribing medication to treat something that wasn't a physical sickness.
Sheppard didn't back down, but he didn't push her either. "Deal." He started to leave and then stopped. "Talk to Ronon."
"I'm sorry?" Rachel tried to figure out why she needed to talk to Ronon. He wasn't from Earth, after all.
"You were saying that you didn't know how you were going to help the city cope with the loss when you were trying to cope." He shrugged. "I know it's been a while, but Ronon lost his home world. I was there when he saw Sateda's destruction. He'll help you-I think."
Rachel laughed at his uncertainty. "I'll keep that in mind, Colonel. Thank you."
Sheppard left her alone, and she returned to the bench. She no longer had any desire to play the guitar, all anger now fading in light of her conversation with Atlantis's military commander. It would return, she knew. Just as the grief would return. But, for now, her mind worked on a strategy to help her people. Satisfied that she had a plan in place, she packed up her gear and returned to her quarters.
SGA SGA SGA SGA
The sun set before the watcher made his move. He had observed the base for two days, noting the guard changes and weaknesses. A short while ago, the Stargate activated. Whatever news they received obviously shocked them. Now, the soldiers guarded nothing. They sat in their beds, their shock making them prime targets.
The first time he ever came to this place, it had been nothing more than a collection of prefabricated buildings. Now, a large facility stood in place, technology of the Ancients making it difficult to penetrate. But he knew how. He had the gene. He had trained for this day for years.
Getting inside was the easy part. Once he was inside, he looked around. He wasn't a scientist, and he only knew the general information they needed. He wandered the halls, keeping to the shadows as he searched for the location of his goals. Finally, after dodging men still too stunned to react, he slipped into a storage room and frowned. This room contained computer files and old equipment from Atlantis. These laptops hadn't been opened in more years than they should have existed, but the data they possibly contained made them useful. As did the flash drives.
He stood over a box, staring at the small piece of technology in his hand. He hadn't thought about these in a long time. Lately, he handled more tech from old Wraith outposts than anything. But, this would work. With one of the old laptops, he could possibly access this data. He just hoped time hadn't corrupted the data he needed.
"Hey!" The shout came just as he slipped from the room. The soldier that spotted him tapped his headset. "We have an intruder, level one, corridor C."
Instantly, alarms sounded across the complex. He slipped the laptop and flash drives he'd stolen into the pack on his back and moved quickly. The soldier got in a few hits, but he went down quickly. Another soldier managed to shoot him in the shoulder. With blood dripping down his arm, he took that man down as well. Rather than waiting around for more of these men to come to him, he ran for the edge of the complex.
The Alpha Site had been a cakewalk. If it was as easy to break into Atlantis, then the Lanteans no longer deserved to live there. Only time and a medic stood between him and discovering whether that thought was true.
~TBC
