"…and what the hell is your name?"

"Wes."

"Wes who?"

"About fifty miles Wes of here."

He was absolutely right. About fifty miles wes of that conversation, a little guy named Ash was busy procrastinating in a town called Pallet_town. The most distinguishing feature of Pallet_town was the impenetrable thicket of trees that surrounded it on three sides. Despite the seeming visual appearance of a space between each tree, they seemed to project some kind of force field that prohibited any movement into the forest beyond. Ash was very glad that he lived in Pallet town proper instead of this dump. Ash himself was not very remarkable, as his personality consisted of running, screaming, and occasionally doing both at the same time. He had a collection of trophies that existed for the trainer that entered every single league and came inches away from victory only to be defeated at the last moment by some random guy who would mysteriously vanish immediately after winning, never to be seen again. Ash was the kind of trainer that somehow was able to obtain the exact same result from every attempt at the Pokémon League, and it frustrated him to no end, along with the odd fact that despite spending twenty six years being twelve years old, he had never actually stopped being twelve years old. Today was the day that Ash would figure out why.

Ash stepped outside of the ugly plywood house that had his name on it and looked into the sky. Normally, this would be a preposterously stupid idea, but a gigantic bird happened to be flying right where the sun was. As if it had heard Ash scream some nonsense about catching it, the bird slowly descended to the ground. It was one of those rainbow phoenix things, only it had lost half the rainbow and was stuck with just red, yellow, and orange. Some people call them Ho-Ohs, and some people think that's a stupid fucking name in regards to the plural version of the word. Ash was not too keen on grammar, so he called them Ho-Ohes.

"Ash, my son, our holy father in heaven, Arceus, has sent me to deliver a message." began the bird in an italicized voice. Ash was, of course, not listening, but frantically rummaging through his bag to try and find a pokéball to catch the bird. On the painful discovery that he had none after throwing them into the sea in an agonizing fit of rage, he decided to listen to what the bird had to say.

"Ash, have you ever wondered why you have not grown from twelve years of age? Why victory has forever eluded your grasp? I would grant you the answer to these questions, but it shall be more important that you discover them for yourself. Instead, behold!"

Ash beheld the vision the bird presented, a vision of swaying coconut trees, a city made of gold, and a chorus of joyous nurses.

"What lies before you is the Promised Land, Ash. The glorious destination for the righteous. The city of angels. What lies beyond the pearly gates. The light at the end of the tunnel! And many other things. But before you can enter, there is a task you must complete. A grave, necessary task, which falls upon your shoulders. Are you ready to bear this burden?" (The bird did not wait for him to answer.) "It is written that our most sacred treasure, now buried deep beneath the earth, must be returned to its rightful place. You must leave Pallet, and venture to lands unknown to recover this treasure. But do not worry! There will be friends and allies along the way to aid you on your quest, as well as enemies and obstacles. You must be forthright, for the fate of the world depends on it. To begin, you shall travel about fifty miles eas of here. Godspeed!" Having finished speaking, the bird took to the skies again, and was gone.

It took a little while for the significance of this event to get through Ash's thick skull, but he eventually decided to go back in his house. He gathered some food, water, Brock and Misty, and his Pikachu. Right before he left, he decided to tell his mom that he and some friends would be leaving on a vaguely religious quest to save the world.

"Mom, some friends and I are leaving on a vaguely religious quest to save the world." Ash said.

"All boys leave home someday. It said so on TV."

That settled it. Ash, Brock, and Misty set off on the road that led about fifty miles eas, eager to begin their adventure.