Chapter 2
I whipped around immediately at the sound of his voice, PAULS voice actually.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, my heart beating really fast for no reason or maybe I just didn't know the reason.
"Nothing special actually, just strolling about hoping you might show up." Paul replied pleasantly.
"And how did you know that I happen to show up this particular night?" My heart was beating so fast now I actually wondered whether it could burst.
Paul thought about it then answered. "A feeling, I just had a feeling you were going to show up tonight. So Suze now that I've answered your questions how about answering some of mines? Why are YOU here? I thought you hated the place?" Paul asked curiously.
Actually he was right, I really hated the place it gives me the creeps. "I don't know, I fell asleep and the next thing I know is I'm here. Like a dream I'm having. A very strange dream."
"Ah I see, you're INSIDE your dream. While your body is resting your soul can wander just about anywhere and what you do is what happens in your dreams. But when you are unsure, confused, worried or just generally have a question unanswered then you end up here instead of wandering about. This is meant to be a quiet place for you to think properly which I think is stupid because most the time you won't remember anything when you wake up. Well not everything anyway, you'll probably remember some and the rest is forgotten." Paul explained.
"I'm inside my dream just now?" I asked, stupid I know because the guy just said so there but I wanted to make sure my ears weren't playing tricks on me.
"Yeah Suze, how many more times? Now can you tell me why you're here? Being here isn't altogether a good thing although you look like you are sleeping you're actually not which means your body isn't resting so the quicker your problem is solved the better. And if someone touches you then you wake up straight away with a bad headache and be really tired for the rest of the day." Paul said all of this like he read it from a book and memorized it which I think he probably did.
I just looked at him then. Did I mention that Paul actually looks really hot? NO! What am I doing? I shouldn't be thinking about these things! I have Jesse already and I'm perfectly happy or am I actually? I THINK Jesse is my other half but maybe he isn't? I don't feel right when I'm with Jesse, the happy feeling when you're with someone you like. I was thinking about this so I didn't notice Paul was still there waiting for an answer.
"Hello Suze, you still there? You haven't told me why you're here. I know it's a big thing that's bugging you because I can see it on your face and I can feel you being unhappy about it. Come on you can tell me, I can probably help you solve your problem."
I thought about what he just said there. It's true that this thing about Jesse is making me slightly unhappy. Jesse is a nice guy and I don't want to hurt him but I feel guilty about not telling him that he isn't the guy I properly love. I don't know how he'll take it, after all those hard times we had to pass to be together. I always thought of Jesse being there when I need him, to care for me when I'm hurt or upset, to look after me when mom and Andy are busy or away and to lecture me when I do things wrong like what a big brother should do to his little sister. Then the answer hit me.
"Oh my god…" I said burying my face into my hands. I didn't know what to do, what to say or how I could face it. I couldn't believe this, I never loved Jesse the way I thought I did, the way a couple should love each other when they know they're perfect for each other. No, the way I loved Jesse was the way sisters love their brothers. Family love or Brother love to be exact. "Oh my freaking god…" I said again only without the freaking.
Paul was by my side in less than a second holding me up by grabbing my arms because I had suddenly dropped down onto my knees. Well I would have if the guy didn't hold me up.
"Suze! What's the matter! Are you alright!" Paul asked me frantically.
He was really worried I could tell by his voice. I looked up at him and saw the concern and worry in his eyes. I don't know what made me do this but when I finally got my arms to move(they were dangling by my side when Paul dropped them since he saw I wasn't fine and started shaking me really hard) I put my arms around Paul and hugged him hard. Then I,Suze Simon cried. Yes cried actually more like BAWLED to be accurate onto his shoulder. Paul looked surprised but quickly took in what happened and hugged me back. He pushed some strands of my hair away and looked at me in the face.
"Don't worry Suze, I'll always be there for you, no matter what happens."
